Rebecca's Personal Narrative by Kevin Van Dyke

Hadley

2014-04-23 13:56:24 UTC

Wow Rebecca that was a really good story! I really liked that you explained a lot of the details I felt like I was really there. My favorite part was when you were trying to stall for time so you didn't have to do it right away. I also liked that you added a lot of your inner thoughts! I cant wait to read more of you stories!

Brooke Baarda

2014-04-23 13:57:36 UTC

Rebecca your story was great I had a fun time reading it! I can totally relate to you I did something like that too. I also broke my arm i know the felling! I think when your friends told you that you should try to skip a bar on the monkey bars you were just saying "I can do it" just to impress them. when your hands were trembling in the story you created a scene so well that I could see it in my mind, I could almost fell my hands trembling right with you! Great story I HOPE YOU WRITE MORE!

Elizabeth Squires

2014-04-23 14:10:49 UTC

Great job Rebecca! I had a lot of favorite parts of the story, but my favorite part of the story was when you said that the line for the drinking fountain was so long that you didn't even bother to try to get a drink. I can relate to that because when it is really hot out I go to the drinking fountain too get a drink but the line is so long that half the time I don't even bother to get a drink because the line is so long! One of my questions about your story was after the nurse said she thought you broke your arm so you had to go to your mom's boyfriend's house until your mom got home. My question is why didn't your mom's boyfriend take you to the hospital instead of waiting until your mom got home? Great Job!

blakerea

2014-11-10 16:05:13 UTC

ilike the way you writed the story