A Love Letter to Life by Rosalie Dougherty

A Love Letter to Life by Rosalie Dougherty https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5 A Diary and Poetry for Lost and Broken Souls en-us 2018-11-10 12:33:33 UTC 2019-07-09 23:39:41 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/icons/File.png To Life roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/302854272 Dear Life,

I love the sunsets on the back porch. I love the crisp winter air, the warm summer sun. I like the way you show me that I matter. I like the way your wonderful chocolate cupcakes taste, an explosion in my mouth. You have been through a lot, Life. Many wars and conflicts, with many more to come. All of this has been and will be because of me and my ancestors. Us and our ancestors. We have helped destroy you and this beautiful planet you inhabit, but we also build you up. We love you, and to show that love we make the best of you. I love the simple things. They can get me through the day.

Thank you,
Rosalie]]> 2018-11-10 12:42:49 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/302854272 In My Backyard roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/302857988 I don’t always go outside. But when I do, I like to take it all in. The squirrels chattering in the branches. Those chipmunks who scatter immediately into the ivy when I come out. The soft moss under my feet, and the woodchips I tiptoe across so not to stab myself. I like to laugh in the yard, I like to look at the bamboo in my backyard, in all of its overgrown beauty. I like even the bushes of the Briar Rose’s that have betrayed me with their thorns so many times. Time and time again, I remind myself that this beautiful world I am blessed to live in is all because of you, Life. It’s because of you. And time and time again, i am amazed by you. Surprised, happy, scared. Time and time again I question humanity; I question my own humanity. Because you have witnessed births and deaths and smelly feet and clean hair. You have witnessed the factory workers making the toothpaste and the women’s march. You have witnessed my entire life. As I am writing this, it flashes before my eyes. Thank you, Life. Thank you for giving me such a rare and beautiful existence.]]> 2018-11-10 13:25:34 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/302857988 The NYC Subway roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/302859475 The NYC subway has seen a lot. More psychopaths and sociopaths and sharks than anyone else. Births and deaths have happened there. Sometimes I like to just get on and watch the people who get on and off; trying to learn as much as I can about them. And then I’ll get off. I don’t want to be just another sociopath on that subway. I love you, NYC subway. I also hate you. But your smell is homey and the wait is fair. After all, you are almost completely free. What should I expect? A lavish, five-star restaurant prepared to serve me seventy-nine courses? No. I should be contempted with what I have. Because you truly are a beauty, NYC subway. You truly are, and I love you. You love the bustle and the noise. Maybe I prefer quiet streets with two or three people. Maybe I don’t like this. But I also do. That is the beauty of you. Thank you for always being there NYC subway. Thank you.]]> 2018-11-10 13:41:46 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/302859475 My Dear Sweet Life roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/302872391 I would just like you to know, Life, that you are everything to me. You are my sun to my moon. I want to be the stars in the solar system of you. You have allowed me to exist, and for that I feel as if I owe you. I’ll do anything to keep me alive in this wonderful whirlpool that is existence.]]> 2018-11-10 15:34:56 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/302872391 Life in a Nutshell roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/302909806 Life is the most brilliant thing you can ever experience. Life is wonderful; life is beautiful. Life is you and me. Life is existence. And I love it. I absolutely love everything about Life. Life has brought us here. Life has merely allowed us to exist under its shadow. It has allowed us to exist together, to be here, to become friends and enemies and love and hate. I love Life, but there are times when I hate it. There are times when I wish I wasn't here. We all have those moments. I don't think we'd be able to live without those moments; those times when we've just dug ourselves a hole to climb out of. I do that sometimes. Sometimes I wish I didn't. Sometimes I love wallowing in my own sorrows. But it's really quite pitiful. I don't like falling down the hole into misery and depression. I hate it. But that's Life. In a nutshell.]]> 2018-11-10 20:50:22 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/302909806 You and Me roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/302910483 I am grateful for my life. It has put you and me on here together. And that is my favorite part about it. You have such a pretty face. You always have. I don't deserve a pretty face, but I am allowed to admire yours. I am thankful for that. I don't let those sorts of things weigh me down in life, because I deserve to fly. Everyone deserves to fly, to soar up, up, up, and away from your troubles. That is, as long as you do eventually acknowledge the chains you have tried to ignore while you fly up about them. I love to fly away for a couple of hours before coming back down to earth. Before coming back down to acknowledge I have some problems to fix. Just a thought. Everything in here is just a thought, after all. Life is just a thought. I wish I had a pretty face like you.]]> 2018-11-10 20:57:47 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/302910483 You Are Loved roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/302911002 Remember the holes I mentioned that we all dig ourselves? Some people stay down there for a little more than a day or a week. Some people stay down there for a lot longer. More like a year or a couple years. I did that once. I was stuck in a hole for a year until I realized that people do care. People would miss me. People are here, waiting for me. People are here, holding the strings tightly on my balloon to keep me from floating away. I don't want to float away. You don't either. I still have social anxiety, a blessing but also a horrible curse that Life has placed on me. I can avoid some situations, and use it as a sort of excuse to avoid others. But any social interaction with someone unknown or not very well known brings about great pain. Especially if I am trying to impress them. I just have to avoid them or say something stupid and face the voices tormenting me in my head moments later. All I ask for is peace. But you are loved. I am loved. You are lucky, blessed with a pretty face, a clear conscious, and without the burden of social anxiety. I, on the other hand, do not have those blessings. But I am still loved. We are all still loved. You just have to remember that.]]> 2018-11-10 21:03:45 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/302911002 Can I Have a Piece of Your Cheese? roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/302924112 Cheese is an essential part of life. I love truffle cheese and brie and just any cheese, really. Cheese is probably one of my favorite parts about you, Life. I have a question for you: Can I have a piece of your cheese? I know it's kind of weird, but I would like a piece of the cheese of life. What does it taste like up there? How does it feel, sitting up there? We put you up there. But we can't live without you. I miss you.]]> 2018-11-11 00:22:16 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/302924112 I Told You to Put Your Llamas Away! roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/302929977 I wouldn’t change anything about the crazy, random brilliance of Life. I love Life. Life is wonderful. Why would I try to change it? I wouldn’t change it. I’d keep every run-down, middle-of-nowhere gas station. I’d keep the black magic of Mulholland Drive. Two black eyes? I told you to put your llamas away! Sunsets on the evil eye are wonderful, and I made it. Just another one in a billion. Just another speck that should be insignificant. But welcome to the club. Pour out all the orange juice. Shake it up, shake up all of that orange juice. I love it when the orange tang hits my tongue, the sharp flavor. The calm before the storm of flavor explosion. So maybe my mouth curls into a grimace once the sourness registers with me. So maybe I’m not perfect. I haven’t been blessed with a pretty face, after all.]]> 2018-11-11 02:04:46 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/302929977 Cats can do weird things lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303332024 Peep is my kitten. She is crazy. In addition to constantly eating my hair, she also enjoys activities such as sleeping, eating, pooping, peeing, and biting. She reminds me of Rosalie.]]> 2018-11-12 16:08:45 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303332024 10/10 Poetry Right Here chhvahdat https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303396234 It nourished the flower that was her soul
It ruled her with happiness a way nothing else could
The minute they met in contact everything was different
This is for you,
Food.]]> 2018-11-12 18:02:58 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303396234 My love, food lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303406645 Food-
You are my only love. You will forever plague me with your absence. Food, you are the one thing that keeps me up, in addition to my spine. Food, you help me navigate the scary world of Jewish Food.
I love you, food]]> 2018-11-12 18:21:08 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303406645 Why? roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303420974 Why do you do this to me? It’s not you; I’m the one who beats myself up over stupid things. I just blame it on you. It’s me. I’m the one who destroys myself time and time again. But I don’t acknowledge that I have a problem. I just brush it off, act like you, Life, are trying to destroy me. Trying to take me down. But you aren’t, and it’s my own pride that’s clouding my vision. It’s always me. Your fault, it’s your fault. I just tell myself it’s you. And I can’t stop it.]]> 2018-11-12 18:50:08 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303420974 The Flower roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303422543 I watch you blossom
You are blooming like a flower
But you pay no attention to me
I am watching
I am always watching
I am still just a bud
I am not like you
And instead of blooming into a beautiful flower
I curled up the tree and suck the life from it
I am a thorny vine
I am a parasite
I watch you until you wither away
I take your broken, shriveled petals
And I throw them into the fiery pit fueling me
I put you in my heart
Forever with me]]> 2018-11-12 18:52:56 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303422543 The Garden of Life roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303426304 I am a thorny vine
I am sucking the life out of the tree
Out of the garden
You are the flowers that people want
The flowers that people love; that people envy
I am the vine; the weed
The one people like to destroy
To weed out and burn
I want to be like you
I want to be a flower
Even the small honeysuckles get to stay
But not me
Always me]]> 2018-11-12 18:59:44 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303426304 Out of this world chhvahdat https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303429343 She was distant
constantly
But not your average distance,
miles
on miles
everyday getting farther and farther from society
She was practically to heaven
She needed a rope to climb the remaining distance
she carefully draped it around her neck
and let go.]]> 2018-11-12 19:05:07 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303429343 Like a Shoe chhvahdat https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303431947 you were like my shoe
I never really knew your purpose
but I thought
and thought
just like a shoe you kept the from pain
you sheilded me
and clutched me
saving my veins
keeping me from going insane
from the agonizing pain
all in my brain.

]]> 2018-11-12 19:10:08 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303431947 The Only One roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303433348 I used to walk the streets
Always quietly
Insignificant
But you; you made me feel wanted
You gave me a purpose
You made me feel loved
And then one day
You were gone
The only one
The one who made me feel
Almost human
The one I loved]]> 2018-11-12 19:12:54 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303433348 Beauty is pain chhvahdat https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303435133 Beauty is pain,
So why not just cut out your brain.
Because beauty is a concept
With no real definition
if you believe you aren't beautiful
your brain is doing you no good
so if you believe beauty is something you must go through pain for,
cut out your brain

]]> 2018-11-12 19:16:11 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303435133 Happiness roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303435416 Be happy with what you have
Be content
They might leave you
They may make you feel loved
You may love them
But nothing good comes for free
And one day they will leave
One day they will desert you
And leave you alone, holding the rope
Pulling as hard as you can
Because they build you up
They knock you down
And they watch as you fall
So you have to take the rope
And learn to let go]]> 2018-11-12 19:16:41 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303435416 The Tiles lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303435571 My bathroom, with the tile floor
It’s cold
The white tiles surround me
The tickle my feet
The cold, white tiles]]> 2018-11-12 19:16:53 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303435571 Lonely roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303508680 I walk along the alleys
That nobody dares to go
I walk in the darkness
Where I can avoid the sun’s rosy glow
I walk alone
But suddenly I am beside you
Friend?
And you smile.
You smile and say, “sure”
Like an old friend
I am unsure
But you become my best friend
My only friend
And one day
One day you weren’t there
And your friend texted me
And he said you were in the hospital
"She was hit by a car”
I rushed over, I ran to hold your hand
"I’ll be your friend,” I say
Like when we first met
But it’s too late
And as the life fades from your eyes
You ask, “Was I good enough?”
"Yes,” I say. “Yes!” I scream it now
"You were always good enough.”
You smile one last time
And then you are
Lifeless
And I am
Lonely]]> 2018-11-12 23:09:06 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303508680 The Window lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303694171 My only distraction
Gazing through the window
Only glass,
Just a wall.
It keeps me from running
Through a window
I see
Birds.
How free,
How high.
To be a bird through a window]]> 2018-11-13 13:06:07 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303694171 Socks lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303701221 s̾o̾c̾k̾s̾]]> 2018-11-13 13:21:27 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303701221 You don’t need water to drown chhvahdat https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303717970 you need water to drown,

dont you?

because I’m drowning in pain

drawing in stress

drowning in sadness

alone and depressed

I’m submerged in this feeling

I’m sinking and sinking

But you don’t need water to drown

yet

I’ve been drowning for years

drowning in fears

but not a drop of water in sight

but then when I remember

I’m drowning in tears

but that’s only a side effect

so really,

you don’t need water to drown.

]]> 2018-11-13 13:51:02 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303717970 What is Normal? roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303720015 I am strange.
I am not normal.
I would like to be normal.
Are you normal?
Can you teach me how to love?
How to be
Normal?
Can you teach me how to be
Human?
Can you make me feel
Loved?]]> 2018-11-13 13:54:37 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303720015 But I Can’t Stop roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303721123 I want to love you
But I can’t
I want to hug you
But I can’t
I want to be your friend
But I can’t.
I can’t stop,
I can’t stop.
I can’t love you
I can’t give you what you deserve
I’m sorry
But I can’t stop

]]> 2018-11-13 13:56:27 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303721123 Where roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303737462 Where
Where
Where
Where
Where
Where
Where
Where
Where
Where
Where
I can’t find you.]]> 2018-11-13 14:20:42 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303737462 Freedom roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303738754 I am trapped
On the ground
I want to fly
Like the birds
Like the birds
Like the birds
I want to be
Free
Like the birds
Like the birds
Like the birds

Like the birds]]> 2018-11-13 14:22:31 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303738754 Windows Part 3 lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303831712 I love my window
It lets me see through it,
It loves me back.
My window is never inappropriate
It like me
I like it
If it was Jewish
We would get married
With my special socks
And have a special baby
Who always does math tests,
And then we would get rid of IReasy
And we will eat Reeses
under an appel tree]]> 2018-11-13 16:09:13 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303831712 Flowers lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303835052 Flowers are what bring me joy
They smell like peace
They smell like soap
They smell like life
Flowers are my life
Flowers are my name
Flowers are the buds of my brain
They grow their way slowly into my skin
My skin, with the flowers
Flowers are my world
A world of flowers.]]> 2018-11-13 16:12:50 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303835052 Racism lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303838759 It is not something to be proud of,
A dystopian world
Racism controls the force
Judaism is just a religion
It’s just an idea
Of peace
And of people
Christianity is just a religion
It’s just an idea
Of peace
And of peopleType
Religions are just ideas
They are just thoughts
Of peace
And people
It doesn’t matter what thought
It can be of peace
Or of danger
But we just need a thought
To be our own person
Without judgement
With peace
With ourselves.]]> 2018-11-13 16:16:59 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/303838759 Things lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304091148 I like some things
but not others
somethings are better than others
quesadillas are better than spray cheese
ice cream is better than cat food
cheese is better than any food
latkes are better than kosher corndogs
food is better than any other objet
our life is based on food
food is a thing
things are food
food]]> 2018-11-14 00:58:32 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304091148 The Window Part 2 roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304093333 Sometimes I find myself
Alone
Scared
So I look out side the window
The only thing that distracts me
I can see the birds
Outside the window
Free to fly high
How high,
How free.
How I long
To be a bird through the window.]]> 2018-11-14 01:12:10 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304093333 Pretty Face roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304093816 Some say you are born
With the face you deserve
You are an angel;
You have a pretty face
What have I done?
What have I done
To not deserve a pretty face?
Have I drowned puppies?
Killed kittens?
What have I done?
Why do I not deserve
A pretty face?]]> 2018-11-14 01:15:09 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304093816 Lost roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304094190 Lost
Lost
Lost
Lost
Lost
Lost
Lost
Lost
Where are you?]]> 2018-11-14 01:17:00 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304094190 Waiting roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304094294 Waiting
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting
It’s been an hour.]]> 2018-11-14 01:17:35 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304094294 Who roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304094492 Who
Who
Who
Who
Who
Who
Who
Who
Who
Who
Who is she?]]> 2018-11-14 01:18:39 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304094492 Why roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304094582 Why
Why
Why
Why
Why
Why
Why
Why
Why
Why
Why
Why
Why
Why am I not good enough?]]> 2018-11-14 01:19:09 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304094582 Gone roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304094739 Gone
Gone
Gone
Gone
Gone
Gone
Gone
Gone
Gone
You’re gone.]]> 2018-11-14 01:19:54 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304094739 Over roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304094851 Over
Over
Over
Over
Over
Over
Over
Over
Over
Over
Over
We’re over.]]> 2018-11-14 01:20:31 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304094851 Broke roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304094971 Broke
Broke
Broke
Broke
Broke
Broke
Broke
Broke
Broke
I’m broke.]]> 2018-11-14 01:21:06 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304094971 Evicted roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304095167 Evicted
Evicted
Evicted
Evicted
Evicted
Evicted
Evicted
Evicted
Evicted
Evicted
Evicted
I’ve been evicted.]]> 2018-11-14 01:22:01 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304095167 Broken roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304095296 Broken
Broken
Broken
Broken
Broken
Broken
Broken
Broken
Broken
Broken
I’m broken.]]> 2018-11-14 01:22:31 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304095296 Love roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304095505 Love
Love
Love
Love
Love
Love
Love
Love
Love
Love
Love
Love
Love
Love
You don’t love me.]]> 2018-11-14 01:23:26 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304095505 Rope roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304095625 Rope
Rope
Rope
Rope
Rope
Rope
Rope
Rope
Rope
Rope
Rope
Rope
What do I do with the rope?]]> 2018-11-14 01:24:03 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304095625 Falling roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304095740 Falling
Falling
Falling
Falling
Falling
Falling
Falling
Falling
Falling
Falling
Falling
Falling
I’m falling.]]> 2018-11-14 01:24:38 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304095740 Let Go roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304095892 Let go
Let go
Let go
Let go
Let go
Let go
Let go
Let go
Let go
Let go
Let go
Let go
I’ve let go.]]> 2018-11-14 01:25:22 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304095892 Dead roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304095969 Dead
Dead
Dead
Dead
Dead
Dead
Dead
Dead
Dead
Dead
Dead
Dead
I’m dead.]]> 2018-11-14 01:25:49 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304095969 Pieces of a Puzzle lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304097235 Pieces
Pieces
Pieces
Of a puzzle
Pieces
Pieces
Pieces
Of a pizza
Pieces
Pieces
Pieces
Of tape
My life
Is in
pieces]]> 2018-11-14 01:32:34 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304097235 Pieces roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304098021 Pieces
Pieces
Pieces
Pieces
Pieces
Pieces
Pieces
Pieces
Pieces
Pieces
My life is in pieces.]]> 2018-11-14 01:36:28 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304098021 You Are Loved lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304098326 Remember the holes I mentioned that we all dig ourselves? Some people stay down there for a little more than a day or a week. Some people stay down there for a lot longer. More like a year or a couple years. I did that once. I was stuck in a hole for a year until I realized that people do care. People would miss me. People are here, waiting for me. People are here, holding the strings tightly on my balloon to keep me from floating away. I don't want to float away. You don't either. I still have social anxiety, a blessing but also a horrible curse that Life has placed on me. I can avoid some situations, and use it as a sort of excuse to avoid others. But any social interaction with someone unknown or not very well known brings about great pain. Especially if I am trying to impress them. I just have to avoid them or say something stupid and face the voices tormenting me in my head moments later. All I ask for is peace. But you are loved. I am loved. You are lucky, blessed with a pretty face, a clear conscious, and without the burden of social anxiety. I, on the other hand, do not have those blessings. But I am still loved. We are all still loved. You just have to remember that.]]> 2018-11-14 01:37:48 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304098326 Windows Part 4 lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304105621 Through a window I see the clouds
They float above the world
They move,
They rain,
They are clouds
I wish I could dance in the clouds
The puffy, fluffy clouds
Like a pillow in the sky
Up.
Up.
Up so high
Walking on a cloud
I gaze through the window
I see the shadows on the clouds
From the birds
The birds are free
The birds are high in the sky
They choose
To dance
On the clouds ]]> 2018-11-14 02:15:17 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304105621 Windows Part 5 lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304371772 Windows
They are my soul
My soul is full of air
The air surrounds me
The cold, sweet, fresh air
With the birds
And the clouds
And the world
The weight of the world
On the shoulders of the clouds
On the shoulders of the buildings
On the shoulders of the trees
On the shoulders of the people
On my shoulders
There are birds
There are cats
There is life
Is can see life
Through my window]]> 2018-11-14 16:05:46 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304371772 The Side Chick roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304592146 I’m waiting.
You’re here.
Why are you late?
You say you got off work late.
I pretend to believe you.
We have dinner.
We go to your house.
You have your fun with me.
I stay the night.
I leave in the morning.
Why are you hiding her?
She’s nobody, you say.
You say.
You say.
You say.
You say.
I broke up with her, you say.
She’s broke, she’s been evicted, you say.
I hated her, you say.
She’s fine without me, you say.
You lie.
I want to find her.
I want to love her.
I want to tell her it’s all okay.
It will be over soon.
But then you say.
You say
You say
You say
But you lie.
You say she’s dead.
Gone.
She hung herself, you say.
You say
You say
You say
You lie.
Am I good enough?
Yes, you say.
You say.
You say.
You say.
So I leave you.
I take my things and leave.
Because you don’t just say.
You lie.]]> 2018-11-14 23:43:30 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304592146 The Forest lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304608393 In a forest,
I walk
I see the light
Shining through
The trees
The green trees
With the birds
I see through the window
They interrupt
With the squawks
of glee
And delight
As they celebrate
Life.
The forest is full
Of life.
Life is the forest
My forest]]> 2018-11-15 01:13:58 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304608393 Do You Miss Me? roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304610478 Do you miss me?
Come back, you say.
You say
You say
You say.
I love you, you say.
You say
You say
You say.
You loved her.
But I love you, you say.
You say
You say
You say.
You talk too much.
What? You say
I like you better with your mouth shut.

]]> 2018-11-15 01:24:04 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/304610478 I walk roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/305643636 I walk along the trail
The beaten path
It curls through the forest
Like a snake
But there is another path
I do not like
The beaten path
So I take
The other path
And it leads me to a world of mystery]]> 2018-11-18 12:18:18 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/305643636 Before You Fall roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/305644553 I will catch you.]]> 2018-11-18 12:27:49 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/305644553 Time lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/305661941 Is endless
Everything will happen
In this world
This sad, demented, world.]]> 2018-11-18 15:11:25 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/305661941 I Am Here roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/305737433 I
I have waited so long
So long to say
I love you
So long to say
I am here for you
So long to help you
To say
I can fix that for you
To fix you
I have tried
And tried
And tried
To fix you
I have died
And died
And died
Trying to fix you
It’s too much
I can’t do this anymore
Leave me alone
But I
I
I am still here
I
I am still here
Waiting for you
For you, the same old cheating boyfriend
In the same old back alley
In the same worn-out grey sweatshirt
This might not have changed
But I have
I am not the same girl from last time
Last time we met in the back alley
In my grey sweatshirt
I am different
I am ready
I am prepared
And I will not go down this time
Without a fight
And I will
I will win.]]> 2018-11-19 00:35:02 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/305737433 What Happened? roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/306151159 A knock
I rush downstairs
You are there
Bleeding lip
Black eye
Bleeding cheek
Bloody nose
I take you
I clean you up
I didn’t mean it, you whisper
Shh, I say
I know.
We have to stick together
Two strays
I want to be
So lost
That I am found
Because I am a stray
Strays don’t get their time to shine
I want to shine
Like a star
I don’t want to be
A stray]]> 2018-11-19 23:19:04 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/306151159 Not Like The Rest roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/306170894 You were
Different
From the start
I could see it in your eyes
I loved you
I always did
You loved me back
It was a miracle
Because
Two girls
Aren’t supposed to love each other
Like sisters?
Sure.
Like lovers?
Forbidden.
But you and I
We liked to break the rules
We liked being outsiders
We were far away
On our own planet
Orbiting our own star
Different
Not like the rest]]> 2018-11-20 01:33:45 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/306170894 Forbidden roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/306171187 Love is
A crime
We don’t like to
Love
We like to
Hate
Love is
Forbidden
Living is
Forbidden
So I left
And I loved
And I lived]]> 2018-11-20 01:35:44 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/306171187 I Wish roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/306320232 Pretty faces
Pretty faces
I want to cut them off
I want to burn them
They only make us jealous
Envy
And I want to destroy their pride
Self confidence
I want them
To die]]> 2018-11-20 13:12:12 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/306320232 chhvahdat https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/306809147 too many humans
&
not enough souls ]]> 2018-11-21 17:43:52 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/306809147 Glass (From the girl’s female lover’s perspective) lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/306813243 I see through the glass
The surface of the wall
The transparent wall
It changes the view
It changes my world
I can see outside
With my glass
It makes the windows
The windows to my world
My lonely, world
My brothers,
My sisters,
My friends,
They hold me up
They bring me to the glass
My glass
The glass is
Sharp.
No longer a window for me
Not a window to the outside,
But to the inside
The glass cuts me
My friends cut me
The world cuts me
Reality cuts me
The glass cuts me,
A streak of red showing on my arm
The glass is a window
It shows my body
I hide the window
The glass goes away
The scarlet blood trickles off the glass
It comes from me
I see the glass, the window, the world.
The blood won't stop
It soaks my arm,
Stains my glass
The world just screwed me over
My friends just screwed me over
Reality just screwed me over
And then everything went dark.]]> 2018-11-21 17:59:09 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/306813243 You lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307133781 I always knew
You had the reasons
I never thought
You would leave me
I loved you
You knew that
But the early morning
In my bedroom
I heard my parents across the hall
The sound of tears dropping to the floor
My door opened
They said you had died
You jumped off a bridge
You killed yourself
I cried
And I cried
And I cried
But I will no longer cry
You were selfish
You took your life
And ruined mine
You took out the glue
That was holding me up
I no longer love you
You left me
I used to love you
I don't anymore
Be more careful
I am a person, too
I no longer love you]]> 2018-11-22 23:43:48 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307133781 HEY JUST FORGET EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT THOSE LINKING TO ROSALIE'S I FORGOT THAT HERS WERE ALREADY PART OF A SERIES lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307135429 2018-11-23 00:03:53 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307135429 My World lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307136994 I am broken.
I no longer live to be unique
I'm just a girl
Who's unhappy
And needs someone
A person I can trust
A never wanted to stand out
That's just how it happened
Two girls are never meant to be together
Two boys is just fine
They can be together
And people don't care
They won't care
We survived together
But then you left me
Now I'm alone
I have to face the challenges
I can't just go up to a girl and kiss her
People are different
We loved each other
I can't love a boy
It's impossible
I need a girl
Someone who will love me
Just as much as I love you
I need someone]]> 2018-11-23 00:21:16 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307136994 All I Want roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307138130 Some days
It’s hard to see
If I was a fool
Or you
A theif
Because you gave me everything
My one in a million
Our empire tumbled like stone
But all I gave you was gold
Some days
I want to kiss you
Lips
I miss those lips
And I remember
You are gone
You deserted me
I hate you
But I don’t.
Not really.
I think I just miss you.
I think I just want you to come home.

I think I just love you.]]> 2018-11-23 00:26:04 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307138130 Lies roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307138804 I was a fool
You deceived me
Told me you loved me
You tricked me.
You waited until just the right moment
And then you pounced.
You made me love you.
You succeeded.
You hurt me
So bad
It still hurts
Because you were drifting away
D
r
i
f
t
i
n
g.
You were never tethered down
That hurt enough on its own
And then you had to go and salt the wound
Laughing right at me.
You died
I cried
But that’s in the past
And there’s no turning back now.
I don’t love you.
I hate you.]]> 2018-11-23 00:31:49 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307138804 I Can't lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307138918 I've tried
It's getting too hard
A gay girl,
In this city
With all of the stereotypes
It won't work
I can't find a girl
My parents were okay with my choice
Yours weren't
They made you hide it
A reason
You wanted to be free
But you were selfish
My life is like a broken puzzle
I am missing a piece
I can't go back together
I can't love you
I can only hate
You didn't need to die
I've had hard times
My little brother died
When he was crossing a street
My cousin died
When he got in a car crash
I can't handle another death
I am not happy
What did I ever do to you?]]> 2018-11-23 00:32:53 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307138918 Not Okay roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307139388 I’m not okay
Because
Nobody loves me
Nobody cares
Parents are dead
Got the news yesterday
Car crash
Dad was an only child
Mom had a sister
My cousin died
When I was five
His father died
When I was seven
And his mama died
When I was nine
And my grandparents died
I miss you
But I don’t
I want to strangle you
Kill you again
I want to do it
With my own hands
A gay girl
Doesn’t have any fun
A gay girl
Is all on her own
This gay girl
Is tired of your lies
And I’m not okay.]]> 2018-11-23 00:36:32 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307139388 Orphan lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307139761 I'm alone
They took me away
I had a life
I had friends
Now I have no one
I'm going to my grandma's cousin's sister's house
It's in Canada
I don't have a passport
But they are taking me
It's going to be cold
I don't want to leave
I need you.]]> 2018-11-23 00:40:03 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307139761 But I Did roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307140108 I want to die
But I won’t surrender to life like you
I am not a coward like you
I am not weak like you
I am strong
I will thrive
I will survive
I will be nothing like our love
Maybe I’ll find a guy
Maybe I’ll settle down
I want to laugh in your face
Maybe
Maybe a family?
No.
No, what am I thinking?
You’re consuming my mind
This is not okay
You’re making me crazy
This is not okay
I need to let go
Need to calm down
Tell me there’s someone
Hanging around
Someone to love
Someone who’ll care
Just tell there’s someone
Someone who’s there
Look in the bar
Look in the club
Everywhere
Everywhere
Maybe the pub?
No one is here
I’m drowning in tears
Drowning in fears
There must be someone. . .
Someone is you.
But you are gone
Far far away
I shouldn’t have trusted you
But I did.]]> 2018-11-23 00:44:08 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307140108 Choices lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307140196 I can't follow your path
But here I am
In my bathroom
In Canada
With the razor blade
From Susan's shower
I cry
And I cry
But I can't surrender
I want to live
But when I live
And walk out the door
I get a present
A world of mean people and unhappiness wrapped like a present
A beautiful present
The paper sines
And the bow sparkles
It wants me there
But I can't
I drag the blade across my fingertips
Blood shines on the tip
I can't do this
I run out
I grab my phone
Grab my jacket
Jump into my boots
I tell Susan I'm leaving
The drunk won't care anyway
I run across the street
Like Nick, my little brother
I'm so stupid.
The ice makes me slip
I skid and land on my back
A car comes
I can't move
I'm so stupid
It stops
My head is pounding
A girl comes out
She is wearing a red coat
With a white scarf
And red lipstick
Her breath is minty
And then her boyfriend comes out
I gasp
She picks me up; she is strong
They put me in their car
And speed towards the hospital
And everything won't stop moving.]]> 2018-11-23 00:44:54 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307140196 Like You roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307140910 I’m scared
I want someone to hug me
To tell me it’s okay
Found a girl on Tenth Street
Said that she loved me
Maybe I’ll go back there
When I get out of the hospital
Maybe I’ll love her
Her eyes are too far apart
And her hair is crusty blond
But I can love her
I will
I won’t be alone
Never again
Not like you
I will not end up
Like you.]]> 2018-11-23 00:51:14 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307140910 Die roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307141320 Maybe it would’ve helped
If you took a Tylenol.
Maybe it would’ve helped
If I hadn’t always complained
But I still wanted you
To die.
Deep down
I always wanted you
To die.
Because somehow I knew
It would be this way
Somehow I knew
You tricked me.]]> 2018-11-23 00:55:12 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307141320 Drugs lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307141401 They IV in my arm
reminds me of my little cousin
Who almost died
She was not even eight years old
She got an IV in her hand
I watched movies with her
We watched The Little Mermaid
she hated shots
Her mom stayed with her
Her mom got a heart attack
Her mom died
My head is still pounding
The drugs make everything go away
They make you go away
I need more
I need more
I won't die like this.]]> 2018-11-23 00:56:01 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307141401 A Girl lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307142059 The girl on Tenth Street
She dissapeared
I can't find her
I look for that crusty blond hair
And the too far apart eyes
But they are missing
I never got to know her name
My life sucks
I saw that girl
The one with the red coat
Today she gave me flowers
Red flowers
The other girl hasn't come yet
I'm waiting
Susan
The drunk doesn't want me
She would come if she did
I can't go anywhere
I'm still sore
My head is still pounding
The girl with the red coat; she's never with her boyfriend
I wonder what he did
I see the girl with the red coat through the glass
She comes in
I ask her about her boyfriend
She says he raped me
The asshole did it
To a gay girl
Who was passed out
And couldn't think
She broke up with him
I can't handle this
I start to shut my eyes
The pain stops
I almost died
I stupidly almost died because of the drugs
The girl ran out
The boyfriend is getting arrested
I can't testify
She has to
I don't even know this girl
She needs help
I need help
What if we could get a future together?]]> 2018-11-23 01:01:44 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307142059 Her roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307142347 They let me out
I went back to Tenth Street
I found her
And I am in love
Love
Love
Love
And she has not tricked me yet
Because our love
Our love is real
Sure her eyes are a muddy blue
L
o
v
e
Is all that truly matters
Because we say
I love you
And you never said
I love you
That was only me
Only I said I loved you
But I didn’t
I love Miranda
The way her hair frames her face
The way it bounces
The gentle curl
I love to kiss her
I love her
Our love is not
D
r
i
f
t
i
n
g
Away
Like you and I.]]> 2018-11-23 01:04:18 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307142347 Trial lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307143193 The girl with the red coat is in trial
I can't talk very well
I have some brain damage
I can still love
Miranda is here
She takes care of me
I love her
She is honest
She won't leave
me
I just can't figure out my life right now
But I found love.]]> 2018-11-23 01:12:04 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307143193 Love lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307143839 I found love
It is with her
Miranda
Is my love
She keeps me alive
Takes away the drugs that ruin me
She helps me
I won the case
The boyfriend is in jail
The girl with the red coat came to Miranda's house
Her name is Sophie
I went to the bathroom
I cried
The two girls
My life was focused around
In one room
Life is hard
Love is hard.]]> 2018-11-23 01:18:23 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307143839 My God roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307148522 I found my god
Found her in a lover
Her hair like golden wheat
And her eyes like riverbanks
Her face
With the beautiful too far apart eyes
The too far apart eyes that I love
And the pale lips
The thin eyelashes
The small body
The small, frail body
Miranda
My Miranda
Beauty in all she is
Hidden beauty
My beauty
My love
And Sophie
My dear, dear Sophie
Sophie, who just realized
She’s gay
Sophie, my best friend
Sophie, the girl who saved me
I am helping her find love
Helping her recover
She is helping me recover
One step at a time
We’re all taking it one step at a time
Because life is too short
Life is too short to miss any of it.
But I wouldn’t change a thing.]]> 2018-11-23 02:01:44 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307148522 Memories and Beauty lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307167921 I can't remember anything
Your funeral is Tuesday
It's Monday
My love, my selfish
Love.
My first
Love.
Miranda will be there
And Sophie
The two girls I love most
Will see you
Mara,
Your short brown hair,
Your green eyes,
Your big eyebrows you hated
Your pale face.
Sophie, with her straight black hair and gray eyes,
Her scar beneath her ear and the freckles on her nose.
Miranda, with her golden curls and muddy blue eyes,
Her tiny nose and long eyelashes
Beauty.
They will see you.
And see me.
Me, with my thin wavy black hair and almost purple eyes,
My too-dark eyebrows and freckle covered nose,
My scar from a hair dryer now barely visible on my forehead and my earring holes from when I was a child,
And my dimples that make me look like a clown.
I only remember one thing about you, Mara.
You were beautiful.]]> 2018-11-23 04:57:53 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307167921 Pain lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307175089 It hurts to think.
Sophie left.
Miranda left.
I am alone.
They will only be gone for a while
But I am still alone
In this big house
Moving starts to hurt.
I call Sophie.
She never picked up.
I call Miranda.
Her phone is dead.
I am alone.
It's cold outside.
Snow flurries onto the gravel
A stray dog howls at the wind
All alone.
I walk around the apartment.
The bed in the tiny bedroom
The sofa bed pulled out into a cramped living room.
The kitchen with the huge stove.
The bathroom with our ratty towels.
This is home.
And I can't stand being all alone.]]> 2018-11-23 06:41:53 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307175089 One Love lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307175596 I have to choose.
Miranda? The girl who confessed her love on the street.
Sophie? The girl who saved me.
Both are gay.
I can't choose.
The features of their complexion,
The hurt inside each girl
I can't choose.
I won't choose.
It's hard to choose one love.]]> 2018-11-23 06:47:01 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307175596 Kisses roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307250168 I kissed you a thousand times
A thousand times
Over and over again
I’ve kissed Miranda ten thousand times
Most of it under the streetlight
On Tenth and Fourteenth Street
Or on the back porch
With the lanterns we wrapped around the tree
And the snow falling around us
I kissed Sophie once
Once, before I confessed to Miranda
Before I confessed my love.
To many lips
Not enough time.
Do you miss
My lips?]]> 2018-11-23 12:18:25 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307250168 Friends roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307252118 Maybe I’ll just settle
On having two friends
One that I kiss
Occasionally
And one that I talk to
Maybe I’ll kiss her
You never know
Because choosing on
Or the other
Would break all of our hearts
So maybe I should just ask
Just ask if it’s okay
To have two girlfriends
Because there is no rule
About dating two girls
For girls
There is only a rule
About dating two boys
So maybe
Maybe I’ll try.
Because I don’t think I can settle on
Just friends.]]> 2018-11-23 12:27:12 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307252118 I Remember roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307254105 I remember the way
You used to say my name.
You would say it
In that honeysweet voice of yours
And say it patiently
Like you were talking to a small child
Alex
Because you were.
You always knew how to get my attention
Mara
Mara
Mara
I miss you.
I am a person, too.
Be careful.
Alex,
You would whisper.
Alex, look at that!
And you’d point to a bird who’d landed
Close.
And it would hop onto your hand
And you would stroke it
Lightly
Gently.
They would come back.
Those birds sure loved you.
If only you had loved me.
Alex
That was all I wanted
I wanted you to call me Alex the way you did
To love me
The way you did
Because I’m tired of waiting for you
You can’t keep up.
Miranda and Sophie make do just fine.
At least they can keep up
With the speed of life.]]> 2018-11-23 12:35:58 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307254105 Funeral lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307291259 It's Tuesday.
And it's cold.
Your parents won't be there
Mine will.
Miranda drives us
Me and Sophie.
We go to the graveyard.
I began to cry
It hurts
My head is pounding.
Sophie stops me
She says we can go home
I don't listen
I walk out of the car.
Everything gets dizzy.
Miranda comes out.
Sophie comes out.
I feel like my head is being folded in half
I miss you.
We walk in
I can see your tent
The beautiful coffin lonely inside
They will open it soon.
I walk ahead of Miranda
And Sophie
The tears stream down my face
I sit in the first row
Miranda sits to my left
Sophie sits to my right.
It starts.
They open the lid.
Your angelic face lays there undisturbed.
I gasp.
Sophie checks my heart.
I push her away.
Miranda jumped.
They worry too much.
The service is over.
We drive home.
There is too much traffic.
It's cold.
It rained last night.
There is ice.
Black ice.
I screamed
Miranda screamed
Sophie screamed.
Miranda was driving
The airbag flew out, puffy and white.
Sophie banged in to the door.
It opened.
Glass showered my face.
Another car skid
It bumped ours.
We jumped.
People came rushing out from their cars.
Our car had flipped.
They opened Miranda's door first.
She pushed down the airbag
She got out.
Then they took out Sophie.
Her head was bleeding.
I opened my door.
I could do it.
I rolled out of the car
The ice made me slip.
I banged into a guardrail
It hurt.
The guardrail broke;
The ice had weakened it.
People watched.
I fell.
The icy river swallowed me
It plunged down into me
It surrounds me.
Is this death?
I break loose of its grasp.
I reach for the surface.
I see the faraway look on
Miranda's face.
Sophie's face.
They scream Alex.
I try to swim away
to the shore.
I can't.
I try.
I try.
I try.
It's cold.]]> 2018-11-23 15:33:39 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307291259 Water lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307298154 I can't breathe.
It's too cold.
I can't survive.
People come down.
They drag me out of
The river's grasping hands.
I can't see Miranda.
I can't see Sophie.
I can hear the voices.
They are screaming.
I am wrapped in blankets.
I saw you, Mara.
You were skinny.
Your eyes were blue.
You came and lifted me from the currents.
I tried to kiss you;
You just saved me.
I couldn't lift my head.
She smelled like you.
I am in the car.
I can see Miranda and Sophie through the window.
They are crying.
They go into another ambulance.
I'm cold.
It takes to long to get to the hospital.
I died on the way.
They brought me back to life.
The new Mara, with her blue eyes that seemed so deep.
She cared for me.
We got to the hospital.
The three of us on stretchers.
I couldn't move.
Miranda and Sophie both saw me.
I know because I heard them gasp.
The doors brushed open.
It smelled like medicine.
I was put in a room.
The doctors rushed in.
They put me to sleep.
I woke up
It was dark out.
Everything hurts.
I couldn't move my legs.
Or my arms.
Or anything.
I went back to sleep.]]> 2018-11-23 16:11:18 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307298154 Time lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307342470 I need more time.
A time to do all the things I love.
I want more time.
I survived the fall
The one into the freezing river.
After your funeral.
Mara.
I survived and you didn't.
You threw away your life.
And here I am,
Still alive.
My world is crumbling
Down on me.
Time is something precious.
I would do anything to get time with you.
Time is tearing me apart.
On endless nights, I stay awake in bed
It feels like it will never go away.
Time is merely a thought.
It separates humanity
And gives us a reason to do something.
Time will control us.
I feel like I have no time.]]> 2018-11-23 22:24:07 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307342470 Girl Love lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307342926 Loving a girl is not easy.
It's hard.
We can love each other,
But people won't care that way
They think we are aliens.
We are not.
They think we are rebels.
We are not.
They think we are drunks.
We are not.
They think we are crazy.
We are not.
They think we are weird.
We are not.
We are just people.
And we like girls.
I love a girl.
I do not know
Which girl,
But I could never be with a boy.
My life would end.
Girls are much better.
We can hug each other without it being weird.
We can talk about "hanging out" and not being weird.
We can make our own choices.
It's not boy/girl love.
It's girl/girl love.]]> 2018-11-23 22:30:13 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307342926 Miranda And Sophie lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307343860 It’s been three months since I got out.
Out of the hospital.
Out of the place people go to die,
The stench of it thick in the air.
The inevitable.

I can't decide.
I love both girls.
I can't choose.
Break a heart;
Heal a heart;
Lose a girl.
Sophie is my savior.
Miranda is my love.
I love both.
Miranda and Sophie love me.
They are friends.
But I think something is wrong.
Whenever I leave
They close the door.
They are always so tired when I get home.
I work to support them
I am a waitress
At a bar.
With men.
It's not easy.
I get sex offers,
Money offers,
and men that try to look up my skimpy apron.
Something is happening with them.
What is it?
I am not a third wheel.
I am a lover.
But they have secrets.]]> 2018-11-23 22:42:47 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307343860 How? roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307344100 How have I managed this long?
Slipping on the ice
Brain damage
Car wreck
Freezing river
Death
Life
How am I here but you aren’t?
Simple tumble from a bridge.
I survived that.
And a freezing river
And death.
Sophie is being let out
Soon
Maybe a couple days.
They want to keep me for a couple weeks.
A couple months.
I think
I think I have survived
Because of the pain you brought upon me
Because of Miranda
Because of Sophie.
It has hardened me
Strengthened me
Prepared me.
They told me
They told me that
That I needed to take it slow
Isn’t it funny
Isn’t it funny how
Driving home from a funeral
We all almost caused our own?
How
How
H
o
w
?
When you fell
You didn’t survive
You died in the ambulance
Like me
They couldn’t bring you back
Why does the universe love me
But not you?
Miranda visits me often
Sometimes we sit in silence
I can’t do much
I can smile
I can whisper short sentences
But it makes my throat hurt
Everything makes everything hurt
Sometimes she whispers my name
Over and over again
Alex
Repeat
Alex
Repeat
Alex
Repeat
Spinning around and around
Around
Around
Around
A
r
o
u
n
d
Like my mind
My world
Upside down
I miss you
Mara
I miss you
But I will not join you.
My time has not come yet.
I will not lose my battle today.
Because
I
Am
Not
A
Quitter.]]> 2018-11-23 22:47:03 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307344100 Nicky lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307344528 I went to see Nicky today
His gravestone covered in snow.
I set down green flowers,
His favorite color.
I survived and he didn't.
Life is not fair.
Nicky was my brother.
Now he is simply nothing.
But I loved him.
And I still do.
And I know you loved him;
You were an only child.
You were supposed to have a little sister, Mara.
Your mom told mine.
She died because your mom had
Alcohol.
Too much.
She said not enough.
Nicky was innocent.
Your sister was innocent.
God mistakenly
Took their lives.
I could of been different.]]> 2018-11-23 22:53:14 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307344528 Deceived roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307353664 Betrayed.
Betrayed again.
I thought they loved me,
I thought they cared about me.
I guess not.
But the storm
The storm has whipped me so many times
With winds more powerful than this.
I am battered,
Broken,
Beaten.
Screwed over.
The world screwed me over.
The world screwed me over again.
It’s not what it looks like, Miranda says
As I walk inside
Open the doors
Shout, I’m home!
And hang up my coat.
No, it’s not! Sophie cries.
But I am gone.
Gone
Gone
Gone
Gone like the wind.
B
l
o
w
n
Away.
Scattered like puzzle pieces.
Now I’ve added two more pieces
To the many other missing ones.
And just like that
Poof.
Disappeared.
Not in NYC anymore.
Not in New York State anymore.
I’m moving to California.
Across the country.
I can’t bear to be close to them
A text.
I ignore it.
I am gone.
Just a leaf
A leaf in the wind
Soaring towards an uncertain future
With a storm cloud straight ahead.]]> 2018-11-24 01:57:19 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307353664 Finally roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307354118 I’ve cut off my long, beautiful black hair.
I bleached it.
I am unrecognizable.
My purple eyes
My purple eyes are dead inside
The life sucked out of them.
But it is returning.
Slowly, slowly
My wound is healing.
I am texting Sophie now.
We have made amends
Since it was all Miranda’s idea anyways
Miranda.
Miranda
Miranda.
With the too far apart eyes that I hate.
Miranda
My lover.
Or so she said.
My lovers always seem to
Betray me
In the end.
Always
Always
Always.
But Sophie listens.
Sophie was there.
Sophie was always there
Waiting in the background
Saving my life
Time and time again
Just waiting for her turn
Her turn to shine.
Me and you,
Mara,
We were strays.
You liked that.
I wanted to shine
Shine like Sophie is now.
She’s coming.
She’s coming to California.
She’ll be here next week.
Next week I can live again.
I can unplug my life support.
Because someone is waiting for me
Someone is there
To be my life support.
Sophie is waiting for me
I am waiting for her
We are waiting for each other.
I want to run into her arms
Because
She protects me
Always has, always will.
She loves me
Always has, always will.
She takes care of me
My mental state is declining.
The doctors say my brain damage isn’t significant
But I need someone there with me still
Someone I can trust.
Like Sophie.
Sophie
Sophie
Sophie.
My Sophie.
We are going to start our future together.
Finally
Finally.
After all this time.
My Sophie.
And I’m her Alex.
Not her friend
Not her enemy
But her lover.
I’ve been waiting too long.
Too long.
I love her.
She loves me.
It’s my life.
I need to live it.]]> 2018-11-24 02:07:12 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307354118 A Thousand Lifetimes roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307355089 I’m only 25
But I have lived a thousand lifetimes
I have waited so long
So long
Just to find someone to love me
To care
Just to be there for me
Someone to help me
Someone to laugh with
Someone to talk to
Someone I can be myself around
Without having to put on a fake persona
Without having to act like I’m okay
Like it’s all okay
Because it’s not.
I’m not.
But Sophie is fine
She is just fine with that.
She is helping me become okay
She is helping the pain all go away
Because I am an old, old woman
Trapped in the body of a 25 year old
An old woman
A woman who has lived a thousand lifetimes
Felt a thousand deaths
Thousands upon thousands of moments filled with
Pain
Heartbreak
Sorrow.
I am an old woman
A woman on her last legs.
But at least
At least I have been alive
At least I have lived my life
To its fullest
Because I will live
A thousand more lifetimes
I would do it
Over
Over
Over
Over and over again
If it meant I could have found Sophie faster
But if I found her faster
We wouldn’t be who we are
I am like a ball of clay
The people around me
They are the hands molding me,
Shaping me.
Without your hands,
Mara,
Miranda,
Sophie,
Nicky,
Mama,
Papa,
Aunt Frances,
Uncle Pedro,
Cousin Scott,
Aunt Ginnie,
Cousin Kelly,
Grandma,
Grandpa,
Mimi,
Poppie,
Susan,
Doctors,
Cheater boyfriend,
I wouldn’t be me.
All of you have made me
Who I am today.
I needed you,
Mara,
Miranda,
Cheater boyfriend.
I miss you,
Nicky,
Aunt Ginnie,
Uncle Pedro,
Aunt Frances,
Cousin Scott,
Mama,
Papa,
Mimi,
Grandma,
Poppie,
Grandpa.
I miss you most of all,
Mara,
Nicky.
I needed all of you.
All of you are so, so important.
I loved all of you, at one point or another.
I wish some of you hadn’t died.
I wish some of you were dead.
But most of all
I miss you.]]> 2018-11-24 02:23:25 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307355089 Ideas lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307359304 Sophie is here.
She is with me.
I can trust her
More than anyone.
Her beautiful face
Her straight black hair.
Her gray eyes.
We are opposites;
My hair is almost white.
My eyes are full of color,
Yet they are dead.
We have a future together.
Away from Miranda.
But the memories still haunt us.
Miranda never had any love.
She just wanted Sophie.
Sophie rejected her.
Miranda beat her.
Sophie has bruises.
Sophie has nightmares.
I comfort her.
I save her now
She saved me.
It’s easier
To not think.
To just do things.
Do what I want.
Live how I want.
Get a new job;
Without drunken men.
Sophie is going to be a lawyer.
She already went to school in New York.
She is going to get a job.
I will hold us up.
We can start a family.
Adopt a child.
Save a child.
Make a change.
Maybe we could be famous.
Not.
But it’s still an idea.
In one world.
One thought.
One idea.]]> 2018-11-24 03:50:20 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307359304 Levi lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307359627 He is now part of our family.
He is only 1 1/2 years old.
He is adorable.
His curly brown hair
Swirls around his forehead.
His green eyes seem bottomless.
He is handsome.
His clothing is adorable.
Blues, greens, grays, any color.
He can grow up here.
He can be gay.
Sophie and I might get married.
Or just be friends.
He has his own room
In our two-bedroom apartment.
Sophie sleeps with me.
He is amazing.
I love him.
Sophie loves him.
He is amazing]]> 2018-11-24 03:56:30 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307359627 First Things First lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307432610 I love Sophie.
Levi is truly amazing.
I love California.
I love my job.
I love myself.
Levi is growing up.
Walking, playing, sleeping.
He is very smart.
Last night he fell down.
I heard a snap.
He is in the hospital.
They can't tell us what happens next.
That's why some things come first
And some things come second
He can't die.]]> 2018-11-24 20:23:30 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307432610 Unlucky roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307448852 We are
Unlucky
At least I am
I don’t want Levi to be like me
Broken
A zombie.
I want him to be like Sophie
His eyes are like hers
He is happy like her
Happy
Radiant
Sunshine.
He is my sun,
Sophie is my moon.
I revolve around Levi;
Sophie revolves around me.
She is always there
When I forget things
When I hurt myself.
I am like a child.
A child.
I forget more often now.
But I remember
I remember when the doctors said Levi needed surgery.
It’s expensive, they said.
We’ll do it, I said.
I was crying.
I cry more often now.
Levi deserves more
He deserves so much more
Than me.
Sophie
Sophie
Why does she stay?
When she knows
She knows how messed up
How twisted I am?
Maybe that’s why she stays.
Maybe.
Just maybe.
Levi
Levi
Levi fractured three ribs.
He broke his right leg.
I want him to be okay.
Sophie wants him to be okay.
Our apartment is dreary and dark without him.
Without our little ray of sunshine.]]> 2018-11-25 00:59:19 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307448852 Sunshine roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307448991 The Californian sun
It shines bright
Too bright.
California is a desert
Except for LA.
LA is in a pocket of fun
Love
An oasis
A good place.
I have donated
So much
So
So
So
Much.
To the charities for wildfire victims.
But Levi is okay.
Okay
Okay
Okay.
My ray of sunshine.
Our ray of sunshine.
Our hope.]]> 2018-11-25 01:03:07 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307448991 Jackie roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307449127 It has been
Five months
Since Levi fell
Two months
Since they released him.
He is in a cast
And we adopted another.
An older sister.
She turns thirteen
In one week.
July 19.
2005.
Jackie
Jackie
Jackie is so kind to Levi.
She understands.
She can be bratty
Annoying
But she understands
How to treat Levi.
He is the sun
To our clouds.
He is our god.
My little angel.]]> 2018-11-25 01:06:18 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307449127 F*cking Love lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307621283 a poem of examples

Love is hard.
It takes skill to find the right person.
It’s guess and check,
It’s not a first-try thing.
Except sometimes.
No trial and error for some
And they do it most risky way,
Texting.
But also the smartest move anyone could think of.
Love is cruel.
It can hold you back
Until you are no longer sure of your will to live.
It may contain you
And judge you.
But you are one person.
And you can handle all that happens.
Love is amazing.
It leaves your heart glowing.
It cures us.
Frowns are replaced by smiles.
Hatred is replaced by happiness.
The will to die is replaced by the will to live.
Sadness is replaced by love.
F*cking love.]]> 2018-11-26 04:12:27 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/307621283 Curse Words lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/312575154 I mean,
They can't be that bad.
Used in everyday life.
They aren't curse words.
Curse words should be
demonic phrases.
That's technically cursing.
But not saying
SH*T
or
F*CK
or
DAMN
or
C*NT
Those aren't curse words.
They are simply a language
Of the people.]]> 2018-12-09 01:58:37 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/312575154 F*ck chhvahdat https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/315308439 f*ck love its all a lie
i can’t sleep
I’d rather die
I see that look in your eye
It must suck that I’m not your guy

]]> 2018-12-17 19:05:00 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/315308439 run away chhvahdat https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/315309027 I packed my bags last week
sunrise and I’m on my feet
let’s
chase town and chase our dreams
cause
this place ain’t what it seems

]]> 2018-12-17 19:05:52 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/315309027 imy chhvahdat https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/315311980 this is what it’s like
to be alone on a Monday
remembering the time
they loved you just yesterday
come talk to me
I can’t let you be
You mean everything, my whole life to me

Everything comes and goes just as it seems
but can you come
and can you stay
you cross my mind every damn day

]]> 2018-12-17 19:11:25 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/315311980 Coming Out lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/315357017 That's hard.
How can I?
When will I?
What will they think?
What will my dad think?
What will my mom think?
What will my brothers think?
Most importantly, what will you think?]]> 2018-12-17 21:11:59 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/315357017 elavator music chhvahdat https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/315680116 I’m the type to get on an elavator and leave
I didn’t change anything
no one will remember me

insignificant ]]> 2018-12-18 19:45:15 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/315680116 Sometimes lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/315688072 Everything I do is going to change something.
Sometimes.
Breathing in air will fill my lungs.
Sometimes.
If air doesn’t fill my lungs; am I alive?
I need to breathe air, but I can’t.
Lying in bed with my eyes closed will make me go to sleep.
Sometimes.
Sleeping is a rare occurrence;
I have so many things to think about.
Everytime I think of you I close my eyes.
All the time.]]> 2018-12-18 20:05:33 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/315688072 Perfect lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/315720059 We all have to live with these guidelines,
These rules.
They create a struggle,
One too real for many of us to understand.
If I lived in a perfect world,
Everyone would get along.
People would have to come out.
As straight.
And the rules would vanish;
But everyone would follow them.
We would be responsible, unable to break the rules.
The only rule you can break
Is by never keeping a promise
It is death.]]> 2018-12-18 22:01:47 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/315720059 Death lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/315720824 Dying.
A subject with two sides,
Yet an infinite phrase.
When you die,
Everyone you knew
Cries for you.
Your husband, your wife.
But one person.
One person laughs.
They cry tears of joy.
They wanted you to die.

If you die, then you are not immortal.
But choosing to die,
That is the worst outcome.
Choosing to die when others have given you life.
It’s selfish.
By committing suicide,
All that you show us
Is that you can’t
Survive
The
Game
Of
Life.
The hardest game in the world.]]> 2018-12-18 22:05:37 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/315720824 Candy Canes lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/315722270 I give you candy canes
And you won’t share
And I’m starving
And you won’t share
AND I WANT A FECKING CANDY CANE
but you won’t share😭]]> 2018-12-18 22:12:31 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/315722270 Suicidal lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/315919711 When I cut myself,
When I burn myself,
When I hurt myself,
I cannot feel.
I can only feel,
When you see me.
Yet,
I do not want to die.
I want to live.]]> 2018-12-19 16:18:15 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/315919711 Waking Up lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/316204364 When I can open my eyes,
I can see.
I can see the world,
The world is new and amazing.
Waking up.
Every day.
It’s amazing.]]> 2018-12-20 16:09:08 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/316204364 Windows lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/316538964 A window can be anything,
A piece of glass;
A broken screen;
The reflection in a puddle;
The beam of light in your eyes.
A window shows an endless void of possibilities.
When I break the glass,
It is sharp.
Too sharp.
When I see the broken screen,
It is fragile.
Too fragile.
When I see a reflection in a puddle,
It looks real.
Too real.
When I see the beam of light in your eyes,
It seems to be hypnotic.
Too perfect.
Windows show endless possibilities.
Endless memories.]]> 2018-12-23 03:01:39 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/316538964 Windows P. 2 lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/316560046 My eyes are the window to my world.
They show my thoughts,
My feelings,
My dreams.
If you look carefully,
There is always a reflection.
It would be you.
If you look closer, you can see my thoughts.
You know what I am thinking about.
What I am dreaming about.
What I am fantasizing about.
When a person causes this,
The outcome is unpredictable.
What could happen?
What is going to happen?
You make me think.
You can see through the windows of my eyes.]]> 2018-12-23 15:31:07 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/316560046 Windows P. 3 lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/316560147 Some say my eyes are beautiful,
Other show hatred.
My eyes are merely my windows,
So I can see.
If you don’t appreciate eyes,
Then you no longer need a window.
I can lock you out of my world.
I can shove you out of sight.
Hide the memories,
Fold away the experiences.
You no longer want me.
The windows to my world are gone.]]> 2018-12-23 15:33:57 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/316560147 Windows P. 4 lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/316560210 Through my eyes,
I can see a girl.
The girl with a key.
She has been shut out,
And led back in,
Countless times.
She will never be shut out.
She can control the windows of my world,
My eyes.
She is far more important.
And far more patient.
And far more beautiful.]]> 2018-12-23 15:36:03 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/316560210 lilykrachman https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/331716349 When everything has happened
And you become emotionless
You know it's bad.
All the thoughts,
Feelings,
Unanswered questions,
Are bottled up in your mind.
When the only choice you can make,
Without receiving ridicule
Is whether to live or to die.
You are not important.
And when you cry,
From the pressure,
The teasing,
The bullying,
The abuse,
You have no one to comfort you.
Sure, you can call out,
But no one wants to listen.
They don't think you matter.
So you build another life.
One with friends,
Who listen.
You are funny,
They want to listen.
You can talk to them,
And they will treat you equally,
Even though you are different.]]> 2019-02-15 13:36:19 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/331716349 trigger warning lol chhvahdat https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/339409386 I have 🅱️ig 🅱️enis

you no have

only I have

]]> 2019-03-08 17:52:48 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/339409386 roswellthedeer https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/370682612 2019-07-09 23:37:03 UTC https://padlet.com/roswellthedeer/zts52hbn0cx5/wish/370682612