The following questions are meant to inspire your writing, maybe one, two or all do, maybe you have a different flow. Please feel free to follow and to share what comes up connected to our shared experience or ongoing conversation.

• How do you feel after the Open Forum ?

• Parallel Worlds - In which one do you live? 

• Is there a moment / voice / role that you’d like to describe more and deepen?

• How does it connect to earlier experiences / moments in your life?

• Has anything shifted for you?

2. Relationship with money.

3. Marginalisation and exclusion in the Process Work community.

4. Parenting in this day and era.

5. Old age. New chapter in life or burden.

6. Do all religions have a side that oppresses women or are some religions more patriarchal.

7. Death and how to integrate people after death

What a relief it was, in this WWJ round, to hear how Kenyan traditions tend the connection to their ancestors, and how in Thailand death is honoured and celebrated differently. It helps me feel more at ease with my craziness.

I remember my grandfather's death, and how, with the sunset on the day of his funeral, I understood that he would always be there with me. And he is ... even today, twenty years on, I can ask him for advice, and yes, I get answers. Maybe it's because I know how he would answer ... but does that matter? What matters is that the relationship still exists.

And, I have several relationships of this kind. A few weeks ago, after a long absence, a she-wolf appeared in my dreams again, and I notice how her clarity, instinct, determination, physical strength, independence, and sense of responsibility for the pack are doing me good in my current phase of life. Connecting with her (meditatively) is like a recipe that helps me find a new stance, different ways of approaching things. When I swim my kilometre, I feel her strength; building up echoed. I pick up tracks and follow them; instead of working through to-do lists, I read them and pick out what really matters ...

But all of this only works if I seek out silence, die for a moment, so I can perceive decent voices and give them space. Often, I get distracted by the noise around me and forget the powerful resources within me and beyond.

It was very beautiful to hear different voices in our group about death as a process in different cultures, seeing it through a unique lens for understanding death, dreams, and the integration of the deceased into our waking lives. Across cultures, the deceased are not seen as absent, but as participants in the ongoing dream of the world. Whether through the individual connection with ancestors, the dead are not gone. They are in the synchronicities, the symbols, the sudden knowings, and the deep, wordless connections that arise in our lives.

In Kenyan tradition, one has no choice but to accept being chosen by the spirit of a dying person and reconnect with the family and ancestors. Embracing this knowledge is very deep, very non-linear. It was a very special sharing experience during our group process. These spirits would like to be remembered…like my grandmother…like people who died in the wars, soldiers protecting their countries or civilians that were killed by bombing…they are part of a bigger process and need our attention, and we need them to remember about the importance of life and begin to listen to those voices. They help us to hold the space for what wants to be born from this collaboration.

In my case, the dream was a gift: a reminder that my grandmother’s love and wisdom are not confined to the past. They are alive in the way I carry her stories, in the way I recognize her in the world around me, and in the way I allow her to speak through my own voice. One day we both will be in a dreamland and hopefully another bridge will be built to reconnect with the existing world…

Tanya, Ukraine 🇺🇦

Patriarchal elders pour drinks/libations to the ground, to signify their knowledge of their ancestors, and also seek help, guidance or forgiveness about a matter that's happening in the waking world. Ceremonies are carried out, varying from, appeasing when something is not going ok in the waking world, and venerating them, to celebrate them in honor of their legacy. In a way, our naming culture and system is also part of this practice. I for one am named after my grandmother, who passed away when I was 10, in which she is my ‘ancestor’ because she was also named after her own grandmother. These are just a few ways I know we honour the dead.

I also learned about different cultures that also venerate their ancestors and living dead, honoring their voices while still feeling the weight of that connection.

A voice brought me to the reality that not all deaths/losses are wanted or rather at the right time. If anything, they bring this deep sense of sadness and discomfort to the living relative. And I thought, that experience is painful and one that I wouldn't want to be associated with. And no one ever dreams of being in this scenario. If anything, I'd feel that guilt of surviving, or being alive, or being privileged that I had a secure way out. This is hard to imagine, my heart goes out to those who frequently feel this. If i was to give any comfort, I would say, Death is inevitable.

I know what death is like in consensus reality. I know how to channel my dreaming essence and relate to death as a teacher and friend. It's not an easy feat, and because of that, I'm grateful for Process work.

I want to thank all that shared their personal experiences with Death and loss. It takes a lot of courage and healing to speak about it, and for that I am grateful that I listened to your story. It gives me and I am sure many others, the hope of healing and reconciliation of the fact.

TinTin, Kenya 🇰🇪

Some time ago I took part in a festival aimed to talk about mental health issues and there we watched a movie about two young people who tried to commit a suicide and appeared in a mental health institution. In the end, one of them dies and the other decides to live. The movie touched me deeply and I was thinking about the people who commit suicide or who die suddenly and leave their relatives in suffering and guilt. I was thinking about my own wanting to die or to return to the spiritual world that I feel from time to time. I was thinking about my father and grandmother - sometimes they appear in dreams and brings me messages from another world that are always very powerful. I was thinking about some people who are having experiences of hearing the dead or communicating with them. I was thinking what is the bigger gift - to live or to die. And yeah, I do not know the answer.

And it was so relieving to speak about death during WWJ session. To hear different experiences and perspectives. To not be only focused on being alive, successful and productive, but also dead, sad, mysterious, unknown... Death gives depth to life. And life gives meaning to death. I want to live and I want to die too. I am afraid of death and I need it too. Not to forget that I am still alive. Not to forget what is really meaningful to me.

As the group process unfolded, my aunt whom I loved dearly and died of a heart attack, came to mind. It was so sudden as she appeared healthy and it really shook everyone. I was in boarding school where we didn't have mobile phones so I didn't know until my family came to get me for the funeral. Yet on an inexplicable level of understanding, I knew as before they came to get me as I had woken up in the middle of the night crying as a voice in my head kept saying "Your mother is dead." No one could understand how I knew about it and anyone I'd tell about this would find me strange. I have wrestled with this for so long and I'm finally relieved to not feel alone in this. Looking back this could’ve been a subtle foreshadowing, as my mother died 5 years later.

My biggest takeaway here though is that isn't it quite beautiful and deep that the communication channel between the dead and the living is still open? That in my aunt's case it was more of her saying goodbye and in my mom's case it was a reminder to cherish every moment had together? In an amazing way I got reminded of how the dead aren't really gone and with it came some inner peace and appreciation for the both sides, life and death.

An example that comes to mind is that I still talk to my late mother as if she’s seated right beside me. That if I’m ever in need of help or guidance, I simply talk tol her and in her motherly protective fashion, she follows through. Part of my journey with death and grief is finding the connection that’s still there even if it's not there physically and in a special way, doing so gives me the answers I seek.

The most adventurous part? I don’t really understand how it works and its not meant to. It goes beyond my human reasoning . It's more spiritual... and this will act as my guidance. It's truly incredible that this message came to me while being in this space and I can’t quite capture this in words. I can only describe it as a potion which when taken, one transcends reality.

Cynthia- Germany

I´m slowly starting to realize how the intergenerational traumas have shown up in my life, signaling to be processed. First, it was incredibly confusing and messy. Especially as a sleep-deprived first-time mother. For me, they came up in the form of really intense fears and night dreams. It took me a long time to realize they were not my own. They just needed to be heard and witnessed. They needed a safe container to be processed. They needed someone to see them with love and understanding, not with shame & judgment. Because the latter two had been holding them hostage for so long.

I learnt how to ensure I get connected and in communication. That was a powerful gift I gave to myself.

I bet everyone would master the art and ensure that they do not feel lonely when the world turns against them.

It feels sad that body contact is not there but spiritually.

A new dawn knowing my mom nevee suffers in pain again but always watches ovee us.

Love and miss you so much.

เสียงแห่งผู้ปฏิเสธเข้าร่วมสงคราม ไม่ใช่ความขี้ขลาดตาขาว หากแต่เป็นเสียงของความรักในเพื่อนมนุษย์

แม้จะแตกต่างทางชาติพันธุ์ แต่ข้าวปลาอาหารอุดมสมบูรณ์ ในน้ำมีปลา ในนามีข้าว ผู้ชายเกิดมาใช้แรง ผู้หญิงเกิดมาใช้หัวใจ ผู้นำช่วยตัดสินใจและสานไมตรีกับท้าวต่างแคว้น หากผู้นำทะเลาะกัน ไม่ควรลากผู้น้อยไปตกระกำกรรมบากด้วย ผิดศีล 5 ศีล 8 ที่แม่ใหญ่สวดมนต์ทำวัตรห่มขาวทุกวันพระ

เมื่อว่างเว้นจากการทำสวนไร่ นา ก็ทอผ้า เลี้ยงเด็กแดง การฟังเทศน์มหาชาติก็เพื่อเป็นคำอธิษฐานบารมีส่งต่อให้ลูกหลานเหลนโหลนในภายภาคหน้า พระเวสสันดรสละบัลลังก์ที่จะทำสงคราม มาขอบวชเป็นฤาษีชีไพรในป่ากับมเหสีและโอรสธิดา ความมุ่งมั่นที่จะไม่กลับไปทำสงครามแรงกล้า การเป็นชาวบ้านไร้ยศฐาบรรดาศักดิ์และอัตลักษณ์ คือเครื่องคุ้มครองจากการทำบาป เข่นฆ่าลักขโมย เหล่านี้เป็นบทเพลงวรรณกรรมแทรกตามงานวัดงานบุญใหญ่ในสังคมของข้าพเจ้า สังคมชุมชนที่บรรพสตรีเป็นใหญ่ในเรือน เป็นใหญ่หาใช่ช้างเท้าหน้าไม่ แต่เท้าหลังของช้างเอราวัณต้องออกเดินก่อน

The voices of those who refuse to join the war are not cowardice, but the voices of love for their fellow human beings.

Despite ethnic differences, food is abundant; there are fish in the water and rice in the fields. Men are born to use their strength, women to use their hearts. Leaders make decisions and forge friendships with rulers from other kingdoms. If leaders quarrel, they shouldn't drag the subordinates into their suffering, violating the Five Precepts and the Eight Precepts that the matriarch recites every Buddhist holy day while wearing white robes.

When not working in the fields, they weave cloth and care for infants. Listening to the Mahachat sermon is a way to accumulate merit for future generations. Prince Vessantara renounced his throne to wage war, seeking ordination as an ascetic in the forest with his queen and children. His unwavering determination not to return to war is strong. Being villagers without titles, ranks, or specific identities protects them from committing sins such as murder and theft. These are literary songs interspersed throughout temple festivals and major religious ceremonies in my society, a community where ancestral women held supreme power in the household. However, the power doesn't lie solely in the front legs of the elephant; rather, the hind legs of the Erawan elephant must march first.

Diesmal ist es ein wenig anders. Ich ziehe mich zurück. Ich schreibe in meiner Muttersprache. Ich möchte nichts von anderen hören. Ich brauche Stille. Nur in der Stille kann ich in Kontakt mit „delikaten" Stimmen gehen, und das brauche ich diesmal, um dem Thema gerecht zu werden. Ich habe keine Wahl: Ich muss ein wenig sterben, ein wenig tot sein, um andere Stimmen zu hören.

WWJ hilft mir, über etwas zu reden, was ich normalerweise für mich behalte, weil es in meiner Kultur nicht besprochen wird – und weil ich fürchte, dass man mich für „verrückt" erklärt, wenn ich darüber rede. Wahrscheinlich bin ich das auch, weil ich Gespräche führe mit Stimmen, die viele um mich herum nicht hören oder nicht ernst nehmen.

Was für eine Erleichterung war es, in dieser WWJ-Runde zu hören, wie Kenianerinnen die Verbindung zu ihren Ahninnen pflegen, und wie in Thailand das Verhältnis zum Tod ein anderes ist. Es hilft mir, mich richtiger zu fühlen in meinem Verrücktsein.

Ich erinnere mich an den Tod meines Großvaters, und wie ich mit dem Sonnenuntergang an seinem Beerdigungstag verstanden habe, dass er immer für mich da sein wird. Und er ist es – noch heute, nach zwanzig Jahren, kann ich ihn um Rat fragen und ich erhalte Antworten. Vielleicht ist es, weil ich weiß, wie er antworten würde. Aber spielt das eine Rolle? Entscheidend ist, dass die Beziehung noch besteht.

Ich habe einige Beziehungen dieser Art. Vor ein paar Wochen ist, nach längerer Zeit, eine Wölfin wieder in meinen Träumen aufgetaucht, und ich merke, wie mir ihre Klarheit, ihr Instinkt, ihre Entschlossenheit, körperliche Kraft, Unabhängigkeit und Rudelverantwortung in meiner aktuellen Lebensphase guttun. Mit ihr (meditativ) in Verbindung zu gehen, ist wie ein Rezept, das mir hilft, eine neue Haltung, neue Herangehensweisen zu finden. Wenn ich meinen Kilometer schwimme, fühle ich ihre Kraft. Unternehmerisch nehme ich Fährten auf, denen ich folge, statt To-do-Listen abzuarbeiten. Ich lese sie und picke heraus, was wirklich wichtig ist.

All das funktioniert aber nur, wenn ich Stille aufsuche, einen Moment sterbe, um die delikaten Stimmen wahrzunehmen und ihnen Raum zu geben. Oft werde ich vom Lärm um mich herum abgelenkt und vergesse diese kraftvollen Ressourcen in meinem Inneren.

Ich weiß, wie sehr der Kontakt zu Toten Angst machen kann. In unserem Kulturkreis haben wir verlernt, mit dem Tod verbunden zu bleiben – das ist eine der großen Leerstellen unserer Zeit. Aber ist das mit den weltlichen Beziehungen nicht genauso? Auch da ringen wir mit Nähe, mit Verbindlichkeit, mit dem Aushalten von Verlust.

Und können wir nicht auch in den weltlichen Beziehungen etwas Spirituelles spüren? Freunde, mit denen man selten spricht und sich trotzdem verbunden fühlt. Menschen, mit denen man gebrochen hat und die auf andere Weise trotzdem präsent bleiben. Vielleicht ist genau das der Übergang: Dort, wo eine Beziehung nicht mehr von Nähe oder Häufigkeit abhängt, sondern einfach besteht – da beginnt für mich das Spirituelle. Die Komponente der bedingungslosen Liebe.

Mein Großvater war zu Lebzeiten ein richtiger Patriarch, und in dieser „Funktion" hat er Regeln gesetzt – zum Beispiel, dass die Frauen in unserer Familie die Haare nicht streng, sondern locker tragen sollten. Nach seinem Tod habe ich die Haare viele Jahre „streng" getragen, anfangs immer noch mit der Sorge, Missfallen auszulösen. Bis ich begriffen habe: Das spielt keine Rolle mehr. Seine Seele, oder der Großvater, mit dem ich nun im Kontakt bin, liebt bedingungslos. Bedingungen sind weltlich – und oft überlebensnotwendig, also menschlich.

Und gleichzeitig gibt es auch ungesunde Beziehungsmuster auf der spirituellen Ebene. Beziehungen brauchen wohl in jeder Dimension Erdung und Abgrenzung, also Präsenz und Beziehungsarbeit. Dann kann das Einladen, Navigieren und Miteinander ein wunderbares Geschenk sein.

Was würde die Wölfin sagen? Sie schnüffelt: Good track – go on. Im Körper fühle ich seit gestern einen schneidenden Rückenschmerz. Er erinnert mich daran, bei mir zu bleiben. Und wenn ich abschließend noch meinen Großvater frage, zeigt er mir ein Buch. Es ist ein dickes Buch mit goldenen Seitenkanten – es ist ein Buch, das ich schreiben werde, und „multidimensionale Beziehungen" werden ein Teil davon sein.

Danke Tanja und Tanjas Großmutter für den geteilten Nachttraum, der dieses Thema und dieses multidimensionale Gespräch angeregt hat.

Perry’s story of how Thai people refused to go to war during the colonisation times and resisting made me really intrigued. I want to learn from this experience.

Stories about communication with the dead through dreams reminded me that actually tonight I had a dream and saw my dead step-father. It shifted me. 

My take away is a diversity of relationship work with the dead. How enriching, burdening, supporting, sad they can be.

Letting go, let something die

Maria

2) I feel there is a great event of meeting of African and European cultures which takes place in the Process Work community. Personally I feel great support from Africa in some of the positions which are marginalised in the Western culture. Contacting ancestors and being chosen by spirits is mainstream in African cultures. People experiencing such things in European cultures have no one to turn to tell about their experience and are afraid to be considered mentally ill. Here support from Africa is invaluable.

3) I felt the call to balance between life and death. The world of the dead is not meant as an oppression for the world of the living. In the stories told by the participants the dead care for the living and (recommend to) take this side of life very seriously.

4) Arny was so brave to start working on near-death experiences and people in coma. And I think this work today helped me to mainstream this field of life called death for myself.

5) I think process work journalism is a really great idea, especially for those of us who are connected to writing, because it mainstreams intellectual life inside Process Work which is often mostly feeling-oriented, and here it is a good chance to practice intellectually in immediate connection to a deeply felt and lived worldwork process. I wish the project good luck and offer my help and support.

6) I also love writing texts together with others and I haven’t had an opportunity for this for quite a lot time. Thank you, Stephanie!

7) Something else I wanted to include into the process, but did not have time was the prohibition Australian aborigines have to see the images of the dead people, and of the Rasta people to attend funerals. Personally I feel that I do not associate Arny with his photos. He is present in some other ways, difficult to express

8) writing together is somehow connected to the essence level, where we are all one

9) I was amazed how such deep process could unfold in such a short time, while quite a lot of time was devoted to the sorting with no hurry. I ascribe it to the power of the right setting and the secret skills of the facilitators.

10) It is a pity we had only one participant from an Asian culture (+ 1 who lives there). Would love to hear its voice more.