Jonathan A. Google Sites Peer Feedback 2021 - 2022 by Jonathan Alfaro Lozano https://padlet.com/28jalfarolozano/zk13t1bc55nihu4e Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2021-10-04 15:28:10 UTC 2025-11-15 05:32:10 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/26bd.png Paul Kobliska 28pkobliska https://padlet.com/28jalfarolozano/zk13t1bc55nihu4e/wish/1796983872 I think it is great that you have big ideas. You are starting to do what I say: dream big, do big, become big. I mean this in a good way. To have big goals is really cool. It really shows people that you mean business. Something I really like is how you showed that you took watching tv and added it with writing, which I can tell that you enjoy. Also how you included your favorite show, but Sam and Kat really I mean really. What you have shown is a really good skill to have in life. You can take what some people think is boring, writing and make it exciting. Something that I wish you did more was pay attention to grammar and spacing. Throughout your piece I can see some hiccups with grammar and spacing. This would be a good thing to keep in mind for future writing pieces.


]]> 2021-10-06 15:43:10 UTC https://padlet.com/28jalfarolozano/zk13t1bc55nihu4e/wish/1796983872 Alex Holm 28aholm https://padlet.com/28jalfarolozano/zk13t1bc55nihu4e/wish/1921234968 I personally loved how you started your story. It was describing the leaves and the type of weather very well. It really made me feel like I was seeing the leaves. Also, I liked how you used figurative language very well. Especially when you said, “She hugged me so hard I felt like my insides would squeeze out.” It added another layer of depth to your memoir.  However, I can offer a suggestion of improvement about your pacing. I felt like the moment where you were in the hospital was too quick to fully understand what was happening.


]]> 2021-11-30 19:19:00 UTC https://padlet.com/28jalfarolozano/zk13t1bc55nihu4e/wish/1921234968 Alex Holm https://padlet.com/28jalfarolozano/zk13t1bc55nihu4e/wish/2159078871 Hi Jonathan. I’d say a strength of your narrative is the attention to detail. For example, when you described how the boy's wagon looked, it just added the perfect amount of detail for me to actually get a mental picture of the wagon.Another strength of your narrative is the dialogue. Through the dialogue, you showed the character’s personality which is very impressive. However, a suggestion that I can offer you is maybe adding a bit more to the narrative. I feel as if some parts of the story were left out such as character development.


]]> 2022-04-26 18:36:09 UTC https://padlet.com/28jalfarolozano/zk13t1bc55nihu4e/wish/2159078871