If you go to Africa → this can be seen in parts of Africa

I love the idea of elephants and lions living in the wild → People living thousands of miles away my value the idea of elephants and lions living in the wild 

Who’s got to pay → who must pay 

Animals is really bad → animals is particularly problematic

Looked at from a broad historical perspective, the advantages of conservation are more apparent. The purposes of wild plants are not just for beauty but also for valuable resources. Therefore, wild plants have been utilized for medical purposes throughout history. An example can be aspirin. Moreover, there are a large number of plants that haven’t been discovered.

In conclusion, the preservation of natural habitats is a valuable action because wild animals and plants are valuable and has the ability to save lives.

→ second people → third people 

→ be more specific. 
2…and farmers have brought bigger and bigger areas → whilst farmers have brought ever-increasing areas

→ dùng từ nối 

→ sử dụng “ever-increasing” thay cho “bigger and bigger” 

=>  mang tính học thuật hơn
3. I love the idea of elephants and lions living in the wild => People living thousands of miles away may value the idea of elephants and lions living in the wild

=> Ngôi thứ 1 => ngôi thứ 3 => mang tính khách quan hơn chủ quan
4. …there aren’t enough => are scarce

=> dùng “khan hiếm” thay cho “không đủ” mang tính học thuật hơn
5. Đoạn 1 dùng quá nhiều từ viết tắt

=> Ex: it‘s , aren’t,...

However, in relation to plants, the advantages of conservation are more apparent. It should first be remembered that wild plants are not only the things of beauty but also a really valuable resource. Wild plants have been used throughout history to make medicines, take aspirin, for example. Also, if certain varieties of crops are prone to disease, wild plants could be used to develop new varieties. There are lots of plants that we have not even discovered yet, so you never know what they might be useful for.

->change to shorter and more academic word
2. People always… and farmers…. -> people have…, whilst

->coherence
3. But should…? -> whether this … that requires…

-> more specific, emphasize the problem
4+5. I love the idea….->people living… may value the idea

    If u go to africa…, u can see -> this can be seen in parts of… where large nature…

->  more objective

-> more văn phong

-> coherence

-> relative clause
6. But often its the poor…-> however,...

-> coherence

When thinking about plants, the advantages of flora conservation outweigh its drawbacks. Up to now, wild plants not only are believed to be the symbol of beauty and a much valuable resource. For instance, throughout the history, they have been used as an ingredient in medicine making process

In short, preserving natural habitats is a worthy action since wild animals and plants play a crucial role in human life.