Q: I am a 30-year-old guy and I am really lonely. I was born in Iran and was raised in a conservative family and society. I went to university there and graduated with a master’s degree in English language studies. I am now at university in Germany, but I am not able to make friends with girls. I have no proper job, no future and not even a friend. I tried online dating sites; they don’t work. What is wrong with me? I even think of ending my life. I do not have any future going back to a country which does not accept me when I do not believe in Islam.

 I want to tell you that it happens to all of us at some moment in our lives when we ask ourselves … What’s wrong with me? Why am I alone? However, the answer could be in ourselves  but we do not see it because we are worried and only we can see negative aspects.

First, I would recommend you to take into account that you are a person with a very good level of education who has deserved a lot of effort and this is a great strength in your life, Maybe You can offer your services as an English teacher, for this is convenient to promote your classes online, in addition to this way it is possible to interact with many people and establish friendship, it is also the opportunity to improve your work.

Perhaps because of your conservative education and because of your nationality you are currently a bit shy and then you must be secure and should lose your fear. To make friends there is a strategy that does not fail, but you need to convince yourself that you are capable. You could register in a team to practice some sport or you can also do cooking, dance or any other course, either online or in person that catches your attention or that you like, wherever there are courses and people will often play football, dance or cooking, maybe that way you could get to relate with more people and you must remember that relationships are strengthened step by step and it depends of each one whether we keep them or not.

 Regarding your family, if you do not share your religious beliefs, that does not mean that family ties are definitely broken. You should call your parents, to know some news about them, it may be good and help improve your mood.

 To end solitary friend, in this moment of your life, in which you think you are alone, you must reflect and take this moment not as aloneness but as “freedom”, you could get ahead because you have many opportunities, you must decide and tell me the good news very soon.

Blessing

Agony Aunt

Love has no age that would not be a reason for anger, that her daughter has a boyfriend older than her, but the problem is that he is married and has children.

I think that what you have to do is not to pressure your daughter, because you know that when they are in that stage of adolescence the more you forbid them the more they will do things, with that what you would do is send her into to the arms of That man, in this way you would make things worse, then what you should do is calm down and talk to her about this relationship, make her come in that this man apart from the fact that he is older has a home, and that it is wrong that she interpose in that relationship, make him understand that this man wants to deceive her, and then he will do the same thing that he is doing to his wife, also you should set the example of what happened to his mother, everything he and she lived, because the best way to make oneself understood is based on experience ..

I know that her daughter is going to reconsider and realize that what she needs is to have friends of the same age, she will start to interact with them, to share, and she will realize that what she felt for That gentleman was only a caprice but not love; and over time he will know his true love and will do the right thing.

 

Sincerely,

 

Lady Gonzalez

With love, Agony Aunt.

Thanks.

I understand your situation; students of your age confuse love with kindness. You are a young man and you still don’t understand what is happening to you. It is important to be clear that she will always remain loving because she loves what she does, loves to teach and she loves to be nice, so for this reason you are confuse. I agree with you, I think your friends will not understand your situation; they will probably laugh of you.

I think you could tell her your feelings but you should know that she could react in different ways:

She can understand you and explain the situation to you; some relationships are not allowed for obvious reasons (she is your teacher and you are her student) she will guide you in that aspect and will remain friendly.

The other possibility is that if you tell her what you feel she may be angry with you because she may feel uncomfortable. And she could talk with the school director to guide you; you will go through uncomfortable situations because you will have to explain them.

You should talk with your parents or a responsible adult about your situation to guide you.

 

Thanks