Brielle C. Google Sites Peer Feedback 2020 - 2021 by Brielle Colon https://padlet.com/27bcolon1/z64rp6onxsf0mk7 Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2021-01-05 18:48:48 UTC 2026-02-12 23:40:57 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/icons/Apple.png Snapshot 27jrebuth https://padlet.com/27bcolon1/z64rp6onxsf0mk7/wish/1067766892 A star I liked that you mentioned the setting of that it was raining when you gave a sound word “drop drop”. My second star is I  like that you said  “What” because that told me that you were really were surprised that there was a bunny cage in your garage.  
A wish that i have is i wish that it was a little bit longer because I was really enjoying your piece and i did not want it to end. ]]> 2021-01-08 16:44:51 UTC https://padlet.com/27bcolon1/z64rp6onxsf0mk7/wish/1067766892 Persuasive essay 27ajuckes https://padlet.com/27bcolon1/z64rp6onxsf0mk7/wish/1513893961 hi Brielle a part of your essay I loved is the “imagen a young girl weeping as she walks home because she got an email that all sports in high school are no longer aloud.” I loved that part because you used the work “weeping” instead of like crying or frowning, it really shows the picture of how she felt. In the touch back I was amazed reading “As Witnessed, sports in schools should most definitely be a thing for all schools” when I read “most definitely” it told me how much you are confident with what you want. The one thing I feel it was missing is in the begging I would of liked to know how the girl felt like maybeif her mood changed or something like that but all together it was amazing 10/10]]> 2021-05-11 15:35:10 UTC https://padlet.com/27bcolon1/z64rp6onxsf0mk7/wish/1513893961 Persuasive Essay! 27jrebuth https://padlet.com/27bcolon1/z64rp6onxsf0mk7/wish/1514436736 Brielle,  I think a strength of yours was  the elaborate scences. The scences that you wrote about a girl  upset because she was not allowed to play soccer after school because it was  band in school and how you wrote in another scene that this girl came crying to her  Mom because the sports were  band and how the mom and the girl were really upset. I liked both your scences  and The scences  truly helped me understand why you want school sports to  stay. Another star that I have for you is that I liked that you wrote in your zinger that “Activeness is essential no matter the time or age every kid needs activeness! And that’s why we need sports in school. I really liked what you wrote because it is true, getting active is important and everybody needs to get active sometimes. Lastly a wish that I have for you is that maybe you could  write a little bit more in your writing of what can be done to help school sports come back in school and maybe you could add that in on the call to action. Overall I really enjoyed your writing! -Josephine Rebuth  

]]> 2021-05-11 17:20:23 UTC https://padlet.com/27bcolon1/z64rp6onxsf0mk7/wish/1514436736 Creative writing piece- 27bcardenas https://padlet.com/27bcolon1/z64rp6onxsf0mk7/wish/1612844073 hi Brielle! Ok so First i really liked the scene you described with the little boy Luke, and how the situation worked.” Lukes teeth were Fastly vibrating almost like a motorcycle! No dentist was there though?! Luke was panicking but he couldn’t move; it was like he was numb!” That part of your story was really great. The second star I have was the visuals- this wasn't really part of the writing but all of the images were really impressive and it pulled the piece together. (I liked the title screen the most). I dont have a wish for you 💫 🌟 ⭐️ 
From, Brynn

]]> 2021-06-17 18:24:24 UTC https://padlet.com/27bcolon1/z64rp6onxsf0mk7/wish/1612844073 Creative writing peace- 2 stars and 1 wish 27ajuckes https://padlet.com/27bcolon1/z64rp6onxsf0mk7/wish/1612852886 Hi Brielle its Allie let get into this. Star #1: I love the way you made the log have like a short story to it. #2 star: I like how when I got to start the real writing peace it started with a question and a lead after the question. Wish: my wish is real small, i wish that the part of try to avoid the monsters was a little more. But other all it was amazing and i had a fun time reading it :)]]> 2021-06-17 18:29:56 UTC https://padlet.com/27bcolon1/z64rp6onxsf0mk7/wish/1612852886 Creative Writing Piece Feedback 27jrebuth https://padlet.com/27bcolon1/z64rp6onxsf0mk7/wish/1614774642 Hi, Brielle! Wow your story was amazing!  A star I have for you is  I loved that you talked about the main character and  I like that  you kept saying  Luke's name in the story  because that helped me realize who you were talking about. Another star that I have for you is I liked how in your tips you kept saying the same thing , because It helped me realize that you really wanted  your readers to know  to “ brush your teeth before the dentist!” A wish that I have for you is maybe you could add in a little bit more descriptive words like on slide 5  were you  said “Mom wanted a break so she held back and waited in the car”  instead of that at the end  you could  possibly describe the words by maybe saying at the end of your  sentence: Example- “Red shiny small car” or something like that instead of just saying “car”. Just so that people can picture the red shiny small car. But overall Brielle your piece was interesting and exciting to read!- Jojo ]]> 2021-06-18 18:08:01 UTC https://padlet.com/27bcolon1/z64rp6onxsf0mk7/wish/1614774642