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      <title>Funny headlines  by Alice Furster</title>
      <link>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines</link>
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      <language>en-us</language>
      <pubDate>2019-03-22 11:49:53 UTC</pubDate>
      <lastBuildDate>2026-02-12 03:02:59 UTC</lastBuildDate>
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         <title>Man found dead in graveyard!</title>
         <author></author>
         <link>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344191449</link>
         <description><![CDATA[<div>On Tuesday night at around 10 o´clock police dug out a grave at The Layafette cemetery in New Orleans, Louisiana. In the grave they shockingly found a dead body and have started investigatin the case and potential suspects have been pinpointed. Police officer Juandre Devon Gilliam from the Jeanerette Police Department Louisiana has commented on the case saying "this type of case is never fun to deal with even worse that It happened on such a peaceful place as a graveyard and we assure we will take every action possible to frame the monster who committed this horrible murder". The police is advising the public to report any signs of suspicious behavior in the area.<br><br><strong>NY Times 2015-05-03</strong></div><div> </div>]]></description>
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         <pubDate>2019-03-22 13:11:28 UTC</pubDate>
         <guid>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344191449</guid>
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         <title>Voluntary workers strike for higher pay!</title>
         <author></author>
         <link>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344217318</link>
         <description><![CDATA[<div>A group of voluntary workers in Amsterdam, Netherlands are demonstrating against their non existing pay and they demand more. the demonstrations have been going on for 5 days and consequently the poor children of Amsterdam aren't getting supported or fed properly. The workers are stealing food and supplies from the children and claim they have the right to it because they are the ones who are there to help. They are refusing to comment on the matter but one child from the orphan home in Amsterdam had this to say "Its awful the way they are acting, are they expecting to get paid? I think they need to quit the bullshit and get back to work" he angrily continued by stating the following "If they can't do their job properly somebody else can do it for them, I could do a better job than those idiots". <br>The workers show no sign of going back to the work and we will have to see how this horrible situation clears up.<br><br><strong>Aftonbladet Svenglish 2039-03-08 </strong></div>]]></description>
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         <pubDate>2019-03-22 13:59:06 UTC</pubDate>
         <guid>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344217318</guid>
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         <title>Passengers hit by cancelled trains.</title>
         <author></author>
         <link>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344221500</link>
         <description><![CDATA[<div><br></div><div>On Thursday afternoon, passengers were hit by cancelled trains when the cancelled trains felt unfairly treated by the previous passengers. One witness said that the trains went for a swift left followed by a heavy right to perform a knockout on one of the passengers. The witness further states that the passenger who got assaulted still was knocked unconscious when paramedics arrived on scene. The suspect is still out on rails and the police only have CCTV footage and suspect descriptions to go on as the train drove away fairly quickly after the incident. </div><div> </div><div>Police stated that a lot of the witnesses were in a state of shock and the police tried to fix the situation by dealing candy out of a white van, not long after this attempt to make the situation better, a lot of the witnesses seemed to have disappeared from the area, police say they can’t comment on what happened until they have an internal meeting at the local police department. </div><div> </div><div> </div><div><strong>The Sun  2020 – 05 – 14 </strong></div>]]></description>
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         <pubDate>2019-03-22 14:06:40 UTC</pubDate>
         <guid>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344221500</guid>
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         <title>Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say</title>
         <author></author>
         <link>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344225628</link>
         <description><![CDATA[<div> </div><div>At 12:59 p.m. January 20, 2013, we received a case of a jet crash in the Democratic Republic Kongo, Africa. The information states that all passengers and cabin crew are dead.<br> <br> The expert says they can be because they were broken wings on the plane South African Airways towards Cape Town, Africa.  At Ethiopia airport, the platform staff had mismanaged their job by controlling the plane before departure. <br> <br> This was not the first time that they have happened to the same type of aircraft model, so a manager at South Africa commented: "they would remove all planes in the same model as they risk danger to the passengers and cabin crew." <br><br><strong>The Africa News 2013-01-20</strong></div>]]></description>
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         <pubDate>2019-03-22 14:13:30 UTC</pubDate>
         <guid>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344225628</guid>
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         <title>Bodies in garden are a plant, says </title>
         <author></author>
         <link>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344228011</link>
         <description><![CDATA[<div> </div><div>An innocent man got murdered by a mentally ill women in Peru, Lima, with a garden gnome. </div><div> </div><div>Yesterday at 11.47 am, they found out that the women murdered this man 2 years ago, and that the man where a fertilizer to the red roses in her garden. The women, named Patricia Korvobroude, 53 years old, tells us that this man where her husband, and when he didn’t want to water or fertilize her flowers, she tried to make him into a flower. </div><div> </div><div>“He is an amazing fertilizer, everyone should try this out!” </div><div> </div><div>Now Patricia Korvobroude is a widow and have a risk of 4 years in prison. She also got diagnosed with humanae-incrementum-puppi-deturbat syndrome. </div><div> </div><div><strong>Weird stuff 2025-03-23 </strong></div>]]></description>
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         <pubDate>2019-03-22 14:17:50 UTC</pubDate>
         <guid>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344228011</guid>
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         <title>Prisoner escapes after execution</title>
         <author></author>
         <link>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344228430</link>
         <description><![CDATA[<div><br></div><div>Yesterday we got in report form the police department that a man had escaped from prison just right after being executed. According to police reports so was the man executed by lethal injection but right after he died he just woke up and made the run for it. The man in question is Littleious pumpilous the III or better known as Lil pump. Apparently according to one of the guards present so was Lil pumps happy and his supposed last words were “We gon be wearing Gucci in this bitch, jetski skeet”. But after he was supposed to die he woke up screaming “ESKETIT, we be double platinum in this bitch” and used the power of esketit to escape the prison without any trouble. The boss of the prison commented on the matter and said, “Well I guess he was really going to be double platinum in this bitch”. Right now, Littleious pumpilous the III is on a “Gucci tour” and the law enforcement are too afraid to arrest him because he “had the power of esketit”. If you see Lil pump you just better kiss his feet and attempt to take his esketit power by sucking him of. <br><br><strong>Drip to hard news 292123-02-12</strong></div>]]></description>
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         <pubDate>2019-03-22 14:18:37 UTC</pubDate>
         <guid>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344228430</guid>
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         <title></title>
         <author></author>
         <link>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344230046</link>
         <description><![CDATA[<div>padlet.com/ALICEfurster/headlines</div>]]></description>
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         <pubDate>2019-03-22 14:21:33 UTC</pubDate>
         <guid>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344230046</guid>
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         <title>Crash Courses for private pilots</title>
         <author></author>
         <link>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344230153</link>
         <description><![CDATA[<div>As so far no one has survived the “Crash courses” for private pilots. The course starts with your getting to drive the plane up in the air, then the teacher pushes a button, so you lose one engine its mostly the left engine on the plane. After that it’s up to you to survive the crash.<br><br></div>]]></description>
         <enclosure url="" />
         <pubDate>2019-03-22 14:21:49 UTC</pubDate>
         <guid>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344230153</guid>
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         <title>Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation</title>
         <author></author>
         <link>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344231570</link>
         <description><![CDATA[<div>It has recently been scientifically proven that death can cause loneliness and feelings of isolation. Today our reporter, Peter Peterson, had a short interview with Eden Rosenquist about her own experiences.</div><div> </div><div>‘’Is there anything in particular that you would like to tell us?’’ Peterson asked</div><div>There was a short silence before Rosenquist answered.</div><div> </div><div>‘’It’s true what they say about death, you feel extremely lonely. You’d think there would be a lot of people going through the same things as you but in reality, it’s quite empty down here in hell.’’ Rosenquist spelled out to Peterson via the Ouija Board.</div><div> </div><div>After a while, there seemed to be some issues with the board. Before Peterson accidently contacted any evil spirits, he ended the séance.</div><div> </div><div> </div><div><strong>Ghost News 2019-22-3</strong></div><div> </div>]]></description>
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         <pubDate>2019-03-22 14:24:06 UTC</pubDate>
         <guid>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344231570</guid>
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         <title>Include your children when baking cookies</title>
         <author></author>
         <link>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344232014</link>
         <description><![CDATA[<div><strong><em>Have you ever felt curious of how you could’ve done your cake better? Ever tried to add a new ingredient to your bakery but none of the ingredients you’ve added has worked as you expected? Well, there’s a new discovery from Duff Goldman, the baker himself, who discovered a new ingredient you can try out to your bakery. An ingredient that will change your and everyone’s life. Children. </em></strong></div><div><strong> </strong></div><div>-       “If you haven’t tried this, then you’re missing the best part” says the baker Duff Goldman. </div><div>He is known as one of the bakers in the world. And yesterday, on Thursday, Duff told me that he was wondering to himself about how he could’ve done his pastries better. </div><div>-       “I thought and thought for a long time by myself, until I figured out how I could make my pastries better.” He said, “I’m going to add some kids.”</div><div>This ingredient went viral when Duff Goldman published it to the public. Everyone in America, even around the world, were amazed of this simple trick. </div><div>-       I think that I’ve helped everyone to make their day better than ever” he mentioned “Everyone thanked me for this simple trick and that makes me feel happy, i love to help people."<br><br><strong>The Incognito News 2019-21-3</strong></div>]]></description>
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         <pubDate>2019-03-22 14:25:01 UTC</pubDate>
         <guid>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344232014</guid>
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         <title>Voluntary worker demands higher payments!</title>
         <author></author>
         <link>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344236818</link>
         <description><![CDATA[<div>Mike, 42 years old, signs up for voluntary work for a foundation to raise money and demands higher payments. After working there for week straight and not receiving any money he claims that the foundation is using him. Despite the fact that it is voluntary which he is well aware of.www</div><div> </div><div>BBC news thought this was rather interesting and decided to interview him, here is what he had to say.</div><div> </div><div>-So, Mike, what do you think of voluntary work?  </div><div>“If I’m going to be completely honest it’s not what I expected at all I demand payment this instant!”</div><div> </div><div>He continues to rant about voluntary work not paying people however he does let it go eventually and goes to try and inspire the world with his ideology. </div>]]></description>
         <enclosure url="" />
         <pubDate>2019-03-22 14:33:10 UTC</pubDate>
         <guid>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344236818</guid>
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         <title>Drunk gets nine months in violin case</title>
         <author></author>
         <link>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344238221</link>
         <description><![CDATA[<div><br></div><div> </div><div>A man gets arrested by steeling a little boys violin. The 8 years old boy was playing his violin outside the bar. All of the sudden a drunk priest comes out and tells him to be quiet instead offer him a bottle of vodka. The boy refuses and the old lush gets angry and takes the young boy violin and runns away. The little boy gets really angry and starst to chasing him, he calls his 8 years old friends to help him. The 8 years old army founds the drunk priest and starts to beat him up, they later tie him up on to a post. They’re wrote a letter about what happend and puts it behind the drunk priest, they later call the cops, the cops finds him and later that month he gets arrested from steeling a little boy violin.     </div>]]></description>
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         <pubDate>2019-03-22 14:35:25 UTC</pubDate>
         <guid>https://padlet.com/AliceFurster/headlines/wish/344238221</guid>
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