ID Number: Thesis sentence... by Nicolas Valdes https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx Made with ♥ en-us 2016-09-19 00:19:05 UTC 2016-10-25 03:58:15 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/icons/File.png nmiguelez593 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124851365 0216593: At the beginning, a main focus of this time was to educate on the basics to be literate and thoughtful; time progressing leading to a desire for a more advanced and diverse education system.

Mr. Valdes: 
1. Should give indication as to what the diverse education is that you are about to provide evidence for within your thesis. How will it be more advance? Is this what you are proving in your paper? Adding terminology paralleling the question might help, like challenged or syn. of transformed and challenged. ]]> 2016-09-19 17:55:56 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124851365 mhalum833 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124851462 2016-09-19 17:56:08 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124851462 0210993: mfusca993 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124851935 During this time, men were educated in Latin and Greek, as well as literature and how to have conversations w

Mr. Valdes:
1. I'm assuming you didn't finish. See previous comments...]]> 2016-09-19 17:57:11 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124851935 hospina533 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124852020 0015533: The Renaissance changed school systems drastically from how they worked in the Middle Ages. The focus shifted from primarily religious teachings to teaching the liberal arts and humanities like literature, art, history, and philosophy.

0210993: How were these teachings of the humanities changed over time


Mr. Valdes:

I would agree with 0210993.  That is a major topic that needs to be addressed and you should giver the reader knowledge on how you intent to prove it. With this first thesis it almost seems that you could be making an argument for how it went full circle. ]]> 2016-09-19 17:57:23 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124852020 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124852046 0035004; thesis: Renaissance education was seen as a precious aspect of society. As time passed, Education became an obstacle.

What do you mean by obstacle? specify. Also, why was education seen as "precious"?
EDITED BY:0332640


A small elaboration would be nice, define the obstacles of education. could be a little more connected to the prompt in the sense that there should less of a generalization. - 0106565


Mr. Valdes

This thesis is very general. What do you intent to prove based on the evidence/documents provided.  I also don't feel as though you are addressing the complete questions asked of you. Look back at the question and see if there is an alternate way to address it. ]]> 2016-09-19 17:57:26 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124852046 0304873: During the Renaissance era, schools valued the study of Greco-Roman literature and Latin but these values were changed to various extents due to the prevelant criticism based on the lack of learning of morals, ethics, and everyday life. dneil873 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124852095 Mr. Valdes:

This is good, you were able to cover both components of the question.

0304873: Thank you for the feedback!]]> 2016-09-19 17:57:35 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124852095 0138122 gperez122 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124852240 The Renaissance education system was based off of Greek and Roman texts, throughout time the usefulness of this education system was questioned. Especially when the rich could only attend schools.

Reviewed/Edited by 0161083: I think you have a very nice thesis, and how was the usefulness of this education system questioned? By who? I think adding only some people that questioned the system in your thesis, it would make it stronger. 

By 0146048; 

Thesis Review of 0138122
Diction is very professional and the thesis is well-written, but I believe that this does not adequately target the prompt at hand. Perhaps the thesis should have been worded differently in order to make your point applicable and relative to the prompt. Otherwise, your point of Greek and Roman texts being the basis of Renaissance education is accurate. Nice funneling of the thesis.

Mr. Valdes: 

I agree with 0161083
You need to provide more of an indication and example of what direction your paper is going in. Who/what was transitioning or changing. The rich being able to attend schools seemed a constant.
]]> 2016-09-19 17:57:55 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124852240 0127174: Medieval schooling was changed by the propositions of the men of letters from the mid 15th century till the 17th century. The values and purposes of renaissance education expanded to include humanities and maintaining the narrow extent of people eligible to receive an education kvillota174 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124852380
Mr. Valdes: 

"changed by the propositions of the men of letters" How, what are you proving within your paper.  The major component that needs to be addressed within the question is how Ren. education was challenged and changed over time. ]]> 2016-09-19 17:58:16 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124852380 0170445; the values and purposes of Renaissance education prepared kids to make a difference as they got older, these values were transformed over time because the idea of the average renaissance man changed as time progressed dlapeira445 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124852414 2016-09-19 17:58:20 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124852414 0158644: thesis: such values were reflected in education, where the main value was the humanities. But even though the focus was liberal arts, many rose to try to alter it or even challenge the usefulness of such knowledge. ncedron644 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124852424

Mr. Valdes

I like your thesis and the fact that you will be proving how individuals where going to challenge the usefulness of such knowledge. Would there be any transitions that you will also be providing knowledge or proving within your essay?]]> 2016-09-19 17:58:21 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124852424 01460 kleger048 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124852431 The Renaissance education valued and was built to promote literary prowess, discipline, and a high caliber of being, these values spreading quickly all over Europe.  

Mr. Valdes:

This sentence fits better if the question only asked you to explain the Ren. education, but it asks for you to describes its challenges and transformation over time as well. It is crucial that we address all components of the question and provide the reader with insight as to what direction our paper will be going in. ]]> 2016-09-19 17:58:22 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124852431 cgeorge842 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124852533 0205842: These Renaissance values and purposes were changed over time because the ideal of the perfect Renaissance man changed over time

Mr. Valdes

You addressed the issue of transformation but you should provide the reader with more as to what these values are and the direction you intend to take to prove those that have changed. Again, I haven't read your full 1st paragraph...]]> 2016-09-19 17:58:33 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124852533 nmedina829 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124852857 0029829, Thesis 
During the Renaissance the purpose of education was to teach children about the past Greco-Roman times and the Renaissance education valued philosophy and literature of the Greco-Roman times. Over time the Renaissance education transformed to more religious themes

Review by 0158644: true, but challenges other than a call for religious focus existed. Otherwise, good thesis, well organized.


Mr. Valdes
I agree it is a good thesis, but you could you provide more direction as to what/how. I guess more detail in your thesis statement  elaborate on "more religious themes", possible add if you intent to prove how it was challenged]]> 2016-09-19 17:59:20 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124852857 0121274; amiranda274 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124853015 Reniassance education was used for knowledge, to learn the vast amount of knowledge in theorists world 

Mr. Valdes:
1. You should provide a more thorough explanation of how you intend to address the question. The thesis should provide insight as to the direction of your paper.  
2. The question asked how did Ren. education transform and was challenged over time. Not sure this is being addressed within the thesis.  ]]> 2016-09-19 17:59:43 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124853015 nsalgado845 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124853181 0620845                    During the time of the renaissance Greek and Roman philosophy were being being rediscovered. The scholars of the time used these ancient ideas to create new ways of thinking such as humanism. Renaissance education took ideas of teaching and learning from the Greeks and Romans and reinforced the idea that being a learned man was an important part of succeeding in life, but the system of education wasn't perfect and had many flaws 

0439495  How was the education of children different before the Renaissance?  

Mr. Valdes

"Many flaws" need a bit more explanation  as to what flaws you will prove.  Also the question asked about transformation and challenge over time. It doesn't seem that it is being address which is crucial..]]> 2016-09-19 18:00:08 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124853181 0168536 daphnemorffi https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124853294 Humanist values helped return the art world, literature, different kinds of writing and philosophy.

Mr. Valdes: 
1. Not sure if you finished or if this is your thesis statement.  Please refer to other comments prior...]]> 2016-09-19 18:00:24 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124853294 0439495 sguillen495 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124853344 : Before, the education was focused more on math, music, and grammar, but as the Renaissance began, philosophy, Latin, and literature became important parts of children's education because they believed knowing these new things are key to a good man.



Mr. Valdes: 
1. I wouldn't start a thesis statement with before (before what?) Remember you need to provide as much understanding as possible. I am aware that I haven't seen your entire first paragraph...
2. The question asked how did Ren. education transform and was challenged over time. Not sure this is being addressed within the thesis. ]]> 2016-09-19 18:00:29 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124853344 0132155 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124853508 0132155- The renaissance education originally focused on learning music,  grammar, math, and Latin but as the renaissance developed it focused more on the ancient texts in Greek and Latin, philosophy,  history,  and  valued philosophy and how the ancient thinkers thought.

0155147: What was education based off of before and after then renaissance? All of the things you mentioned occurred during the renaissance. 

Mr. That's a good point 0155147. The question asks you to explain Ren. education  and then how it was transformed/challenged, over time (differences, continuity).]]> 2016-09-19 18:00:50 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124853508 0271703 nicolasvaldes https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124853683 thesis: The purpose of Renaissance education is to be able to read and write, education was needed to gain knowledge of the world for survival.

0304873:
Didn't cover the extents to which the schools changed or how they were challenged.

Mr. Valdes

This thesis doesn't address what was being asked.  It is important that your thesis guide your paper and address the necessary topic.  It will guide you throughout the rest of your paper. Look back at what was being asked.

]]> 2016-09-19 18:01:15 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124853683 0111833 mhalum833 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124853901 The purpose and values of Renaissance education, at first was to understand early books and letters in Greek and Latin this then later shifted to focusing on the fearing of God, and later on renaissance education focused on teaching the minority of men since it wasn't very important. 


0200705:
Very good thesis. All the changes had occurred. But why did that shift in the education occur? Also you forgot to mention a major point, the focus on the humanities.

Mr. Valdes

It shows that you understood the documents. The thesis is good. Are you going to provide evidence on how only a select few were provided and education later? Others beyond the elite were provided open educational opportunities during the Ren. ?]]> 2016-09-19 18:01:47 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124853901 0210993 mfusca993 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124854186 During this time, men were educated in Latin and Greek, as well as literature and how to converse with others. However, some believed this system of learning subjects without understanding the concepts was a waste of time, so the purpose of education eventually shifted away from humanities.

Mr. Valdes:

I feel as though you left me asking for more as far as what changes were made with education. You said it shifted away from Humanities. Be more specific and provide me information as to what you will prove. ]]> 2016-09-19 18:02:25 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124854186 0106565 dmoral565 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124854309 According to the 1450's onward, the renaissance dealt with the education and further knowledge toward the children of that time and allowed them to voice their opinions, in some circumstances, they were greatly affected by the various subjects occurring in school in the sense that they could then be separated by age and skill to better their understanding of the education and humanistic teachings of everyone around. 

Review by 0159161: This is a good thesis, but it does not refer to the part of the prompt that asks about change over time. Also, there are some grammatical errors.

Mr. Valdes
I agree with 0159161; this does not address that question asked.  This will most likely affect your entire paper. ]]> 2016-09-19 18:02:46 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124854309 0121274; new  nmedina829 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124854566  Renaissance education was used for knowledge, to learn the vast amount of the outside world, Greco Roman culture for the prestigious/nobility. However during the mid sixteenth/ seventeenth century the emphasis on Renaissance education was dwindling down, not necessary, a waste of time.

Edited by 0111833: nice thesis, also i think renaissance education also focused more on fearing god after northern humanism showed up later on. This could be another change in renaissance.


Mr. Valdes
I agree with 0111833.
I would explain to your reader what direction you are taking within your thesis on what you mean by dwindling down. I think they mean to reference on how it became more religiously centered. ]]> 2016-09-19 18:03:23 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124854566 0161083 Thesis  https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124854889 Education, and the values and purposes of education have progressed/changed over time. In the Renaissance it was a more God centered world, when the Renaissance ended it was a more human centered world. The Renaissance changed and shaped much of the world today. Over time the view of how the "perfect man" was viewed changed. 

O132155 edited it
Add values of renaissance teaching also. Make sure its clear so the reader knows that. 

Mr. Valdes

This does a good job of providing a background but after reading I felt as though it could provide more of an indication of what/how it has transformed and challenged.  This is the major issue that you are to address within your paper.

]]> 2016-09-19 18:04:08 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124854889 0159161 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124855607 During the time of the Renaissance, views on the values and purposes of education differed to some extent throughout different time periods. Most believed that the most important part of education was literature and letters, while some thought education was only necessary to some extent, and others believed that public education was only necessary to some extent. Over time, views on education became increasingly critical; some believed it was unnecessary, while some believed it was ineffective. 

0304873:
Very good and elaborative but long. A thesis should be concise but should still be able to deliver all points.

Mr. Valdes

"while some thought education was only necessary to some extent, and others believed that public education was only necessary to some extent." - Is this repeated?


Mr. Valdes
In the documents can you provide evidence that people felt education was not necessary and ineffective or was it the Ren. form (which you would have had to introduce) of education that they felt that way towards?

]]> 2016-09-19 18:05:58 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124855607 0218798; Thesis https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124923403 In the early 1450s, Renaissance education was widely accepted and seen as a necessity to succeed in society; entering the 1500s, studying literature was seen as a waste of money and time, slowly shifting away from the focus of humanities, and by the 17th century, only a selective few were considered privileged enough to study literature.

Mr. Valdes

" necessity to succeed in society" for who?

"only a selective few were considered privileged enough to study literature" wasn't always a selective few?

"entering the 1500s, studying literature was seen as a waste of money and time, slowly shifting away from the focus of humanities"
I would have liked if you used a term from the question
...It transitioned ( or challenged) entering into the 1500's ...
in part Ren education and the study of Humanities had been a waste of money ( and then add a short description why)


]]> 2016-09-19 23:28:45 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124923403 0218798; Thesis kbormey798 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124925074 In the early 1450s, Renaissance education was widely accepted and seen as a necessity to succeed in society; entering the 1500s, studying literature was seen as a waste of money and time, slowly shifting away from the focus of humanities, and by the 17th century, only a selective few were considered privileged enough to study literature.

Mr. Valdes

necessity for peasants? or who?
Weren't only a selective few able to study the text of Ancient Greeks and Romans during the time of the Ren?
What other transition was present within the documents provided?]]> 2016-09-19 23:45:57 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124925074 0332640  REVISED THESIS https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124925543 Renaissance Education began to focus on the humanities (art, literature, history) as well as shifting into a mechanism used to create a well-rounded, righteous man. However, although education became more valued to the nobel masses, it did not include the lower or middle class.

Mr. Valdes:

I appreciate the revised version. I see how you mention continuity in your thesis but where is it addressing the transformation and challenge to the Ren. education. What is the "mechanism used to create a well-rounded righteous man"? I don't believe the parentheses are necessary. ]]> 2016-09-19 23:50:32 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124925543 0155147 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124946407 Over time, the study of the classical arts, literature, and language that was studied and emphasized during the Renaissance era, diminished in popularity and was vastly challenged and change throughout time

0216593
I don't feel its completely true that the study of classical arts, literature, and language during the Renaissance had entirely diminished in popular, or at least not all aspects. Though that part was descriptive just maybe with a bit of a wrong idea, the second half is a bit vague, and lacks details to provide evidence.

Mr. Valdes

I agree with and disagree with the above comment (0216593) 
1. You can say that it "diminished in popularity", though people may find fault with it and understandably so, but it would be your job through your essay to prove otherwise.
2. I do agree that the end tapered off and lacked detail as to what/how/and or why it was challenged and changed over time. What are you going to provide evidence for?]]> 2016-09-20 02:57:53 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/124946407 0200705: ntrim705 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/125267651 As time went on the influence of Renaissance education continued to spread all throughout Europe which allowed a variety of people to either support or reject the education which led to the continuities and changes within the information covered within Renaissance education.

Mr. Valdes

Good, I believe you did well in attempting to address the question asked. Some of the documents stretch beyond the time of just the Ren. though. How did it transition beyond the Ren. ?

 
]]> 2016-09-21 01:14:36 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/125267651 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/125275946 2016-09-21 02:30:21 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/125275946 0170197 dmorales197 https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/125449282 Education, literature, math, and music were all important aspects of the Renaissance, with time these things started to become challenged 

Mr. Valdes

This is way to general. You stating that it was challenged  but provide no indication as to how, why, who, and / or what happened.  Also it missing the component of the question that is asking how it was transformed. It is important that you address all components of the question and then provide the reader a more detail reasoning that you intent to prove and defend throughout your paper. ]]> 2016-09-21 15:26:53 UTC https://padlet.com/nicolasvaldes/yyimiqb3vlfx/wish/125449282