https://padlet.com/27alandew/ykaikcxdsvotuwtd Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2021-01-05 21:03:16 UTC 2021-06-18 21:09:46 UTC hello@padlet.com https://wlzx-fm.sagacom.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/10/files/2018/03/AJR-620x400.jpg 27kpilley https://padlet.com/27alandew/ykaikcxdsvotuwtd/wish/1067834720 It was good how you built up a lot of suspense wondering if your mom was okay. After that you showed that you calmed down and relaxed because you knew she was in good care. A wish could be maybe you could add more details about where you were.]]> 2021-01-08 16:58:36 UTC https://padlet.com/27alandew/ykaikcxdsvotuwtd/wish/1067834720 27npilgrim https://padlet.com/27alandew/ykaikcxdsvotuwtd/wish/1078564101 I loved your piece.It made me feel like I was right there in the moment feeling what you were feeling I also loved your lesson learned my wish is that, actually I don´t have a wish anyway good job on your piece ]]> 2021-01-12 14:09:51 UTC https://padlet.com/27alandew/ykaikcxdsvotuwtd/wish/1078564101 https://padlet.com/27alandew/ykaikcxdsvotuwtd/wish/1282857280 2021-03-08 16:03:07 UTC https://padlet.com/27alandew/ykaikcxdsvotuwtd/wish/1282857280 27rplatts https://padlet.com/27alandew/ykaikcxdsvotuwtd/wish/1513702754 This is a beautiful essay. I like how your anecdotes are written. Suspense builds up from the beginning and is let out in a climax scene. For example in your first anecdote, suspense builds as you describe the scratchy, plain, uncomfortable uniform. It is released once the teenage boy hits his melting point(figuratively) and bangs his head on the table. On top of that, you use an abundance of persuasive words; further adding to your anecdotes. This all helps to ensure that  the reader is clearly envision the scene and is hooked. I also like how serious the conclusion is. In your look to the future, you really stressed that the future would not be a fun place if uniforms still exist . You made the call to action extremely convincing and desperate with straight forward instructions and good word choice. Lastly, the list of adjectives at the end are a nice touch. They take away formality, but in return add severeness to the issue. My wish is that you look back at your data and zinger. The data seems to not have article or author sites while the zinger looks to have been replaced with a thesis statement. I think the addition of both of these components would really benefit the essay.]]> 2021-05-11 14:58:20 UTC https://padlet.com/27alandew/ykaikcxdsvotuwtd/wish/1513702754 https://padlet.com/27alandew/ykaikcxdsvotuwtd/wish/1513916793 I really like this piece the detail you went into about everything was amazing I really like how you went into how they were feeling, I also like how you went into what they were wearing once you explained it the image of the person in a school uniform went into my head your detail was amazing on this piece.  It was good how you related this to a real life situation how the uniform cost so much the mom would not be able to pay for any repairing because of the uniform and how it is unnecessary it is.  One wish I had for you was was the zinger didn’t really feel like it wrapped it up all the way but overall amazing writing piece.]]> 2021-05-11 15:39:35 UTC https://padlet.com/27alandew/ykaikcxdsvotuwtd/wish/1513916793 devasrigauri https://padlet.com/27alandew/ykaikcxdsvotuwtd/wish/1514562171 I really loved the way you started your hook and the way you described uniforms. I also liked the zinger on how you stated your opinion and ended it. I dont have a wish for you.]]> 2021-05-11 17:46:20 UTC https://padlet.com/27alandew/ykaikcxdsvotuwtd/wish/1514562171 27rplatts https://padlet.com/27alandew/ykaikcxdsvotuwtd/wish/1614764807 This is an amazing piece! I loved all the humorous aspects sprinkled in throughout. I don’t know if this was intention, but when you said “you have been lied to! Fiber to!” I took it as a pun. Fiber is in grass and grass is on the ground. Another funny part was when you said “WAIT, don’t do that I really don’t feel like being sued”. All of these funny remarks add so much character. I also liked how you doubted your readers trust in your article. Following this, you gave logical reasoning to prove that the rule’s hidden truth is real. My favorite instance of this is when you called yourself a loony toon then went on to explain how that the ground is allergic to the rubber on the shoes soles. Apart from the occasional wrong tense, I have no wishes for you. ]]> 2021-06-18 18:00:07 UTC https://padlet.com/27alandew/ykaikcxdsvotuwtd/wish/1614764807 27kpilley https://padlet.com/27alandew/ykaikcxdsvotuwtd/wish/1614780064 I really like your story it was very creative how you made the ground suck you up that is a very original idea and it was very cool.  I also liked how you had two story’s about when the ground sucked other kids up.(but who cuts the grass without shoes)?  Anyways it was an amazing piece the only thing is sometimes it was a little hard to follow like when you said  The ground is allergic to the rubber on your feet to talking about cows and how they are natural enemy’s with the ground.  Besides that it was an amazing piece.]]> 2021-06-18 18:12:27 UTC https://padlet.com/27alandew/ykaikcxdsvotuwtd/wish/1614780064