Reflective jounal by Yasmin silva

Day 1

yasmin_silva — 2018-09-11 00:46:04 UTC

Let's start by talking about what I'm thinking! So even the beginning of the year I knew what I wanted to do! I want to make a sculpture related to the female struggle to live in a difficult sexist society, so from the beginning I started to research about artists who make sculptures and everything else because I do not have the slightest idea of how a sculpture does, and It will be something totally new to me! so artists like Derik Kinzett, Anne Bothuon and Choi Xooang, helped me think about what material I could use, different sizes, realities and different shapes, and this is very incredible and I can not wait to get started, and do something really cool , and really hope for sure! I think it will be something that will get me out of my comfort zone for never having moved with any sculpture material and everything, but it will be a great learning experience every day, and as I am thinking of making plaster can give super sure as super wrong but I'm willing to try, fail and improve!

DAY 2

yasmin_silva — 2018-09-13 18:22:38 UTC

research is important and necessary, mainly in this final part of the course, where all year we were taught how much research makes your work better. so start researching more deeply the artists that I already knew since the beginning of the year that influenced me and what materials they used! In the conversation with Leopoldo, we do not talk so much about the outcome itself, because this is only for the final, we talk about material research and how important this is and is part of what I want to pass on to people with my final result . I really like the stuff that Derek uses, which brings existence and meaning to what I want to talk about, that the wires and iso can represent a lot of the question that women still feel trapped both to speak of the aggressions and their aggressors. but this material is difficult to handle and I do not have as much time to achieve my goals with this material, but it would be very good someday if I redo something I try to use this material. The leu me falau that I could try to do with wax, I liked the idea very much, I do not know how to start but I'm going to try because the wax is very related to the loss of something and everything, so it may be a great idea.

DAY 3

yasmin_silva — 2018-09-13 18:35:35 UTC

With research in process I started to make my proposal about my work, and I discovered that it is super possible to make the sculpture with wax, but Monique warned me that because I want something in real size maybe it is a more expensive material than what I I had already thought of using the plaster! and together we can think that maybe I do not need people to take the mold out of the faces, because this can be a problem for both the people and for the little time I have, I can buy a mannequin face in some street store they are caetano, and I called 3 stores to see if they sold only the face but no sales, and lastly, in the last attempt, I called the Showcase store and they sell of all materials and cost only 20 to 40 reais, which is very cheap if we think about it, then my plans are to go buy Saturday and make a text before I do the research trip to Inhotim, so I'll go traveling more quiet.

INHOTIM - DAY 2 (19/09/18)

yasmin_silva — 2018-09-20 22:24:22 UTC

Second day of experience at Inhotim was remarkable! And what impressed me the most was the photos of Clara Andujar, they are pictures that shiver, every detail is remarkable, it makes you think and rethink about life, about culture, about being itself. And what impresses most is the building where these photos are exposed, it is a raw brick building in the middle of the bush, totally vulnerable to the nature that is around it, which totally connects with every photo of Clara that was also totally vulnerable to the Amazon and the whole discovery portrayed in each photograph!
What struck me were also the two crystal sculptures of the Tunga and how much it is anti traditional sculpture and managed to pick up such improbable objects and give life to them, transforming them into bodies hung by wire and wire! And I found this amazing because it made me think about the matter of materials and made me leave my initial idea and think of other materials and get out of the conventional!

INHOTIM - DAY 1 (18/09/18)

yasmin_silva — 2018-09-20 22:25:24 UTC

Come to Inhotim is an incredible opportunity, a park of this level with such beautiful things is wonderful, I was amazed from the gallery prima that we visited today, but the gallery and work that caught my attention, that touched my heart from the beginning, from the entrance to the end was that of Adriana Varejão, everything there was thought of, in every detail from the mirror of the water at the entrance of the gallery, with the bench in the middle of the mirror of water with Portuguese style tiles of plants, and the entrance with the exposure of a wall that has its borders of human guts with a rather tragic love story, called Linda do Rosário, to the ascent with the tiles on the walls with the history of the tsunamis and a criticism of the Portuguese, and the whole structure of the museum and the plants that were around that super talked with practically all the works of the artist, and in this one realizes the importance of the concern with EVERY detail, of the materials, of the place that will be exposed, of each thing and I'm sure that now I'm going to be very attentive to everything I'm going to choose because I realized the importance of each choice!

INHOTIM - DAY 3 (20/09/18)

yasmin_silva — 2018-09-27 11:02:49 UTC

today we finished seeing all the works that were missing and left the works of Cildo meireles last, because there was more queue! well, the "Deviation to the red" made me very uncomfortable, my head was confused, and my look was not anything, and the path to where the sink was was terrible, it seemed that the floor was wet because the sound of the water was latent and when you saw that the supposed water was red it gave a serious despair, to leave the place and return to where it had light. Although the insights were not the best, I liked it because it promoted me something, it gave me feelings and experiences, and that is the coolest thing because it's not all the facilities that can promote this, some are only there, and their eyes are only and look for something else. I really want my installation to promote something in people who pass through it, to feel things, to think of something to look at, that is not only a thing where the eyes will go through it and it will already be forgotten, and I'm going to work hard for this to happen and to get out of there with a flea behind my ear, just as I left the Cildo's exposition.

INHOTIM - DAY 4 (21/09/18)

yasmin_silva — 2018-09-27 11:03:03 UTC

last day, and we went to see the Basquiat exhibition in BH! I was already gone when the exhibition was here in São Paulo, but Basquiat is an artist that you never tire of seeing and looking at all that altenticity, for all that identity that is only his, and the coolest of all is that is something that can not be copied, because the more it expresses itself, the more it scribbles the more it is difficult to copy or do something similar because it is only his, his identity is speaking loudly, and nobody can copy the expression of someone , we can do something in the Basquiat style, but it will never be the same thing as his.

25/09/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-09-27 11:04:59 UTC

today was a quieter day of research, and talk to the tutor, and go after the alginate to start making the molds, and start producing! Well I did not find lginato anywhere where I could buy, only my dentist can buy, so I called her and asked her to buy it, I think she'll get it, she did not give me a certainty, but in any case if I can not do it, I'll do it with the same plaster bandages! I also called some houses to support the woman to see if I can talk to some of the women to know their stories and take their molds if they leave and everything, but I realized that it is a more bureaucratic thing than I imagined, no house bought my idea a lot but I sent some emails with a briefing translated and with the proposal very clear to see if I get any response! let's wait

26/09/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-09-27 11:05:29 UTC

today was the first day of experimenting with plaster bandages. I called Natalia to be my model, so I started to put the wet bandages on her face, covering it whole, then it took about 20 minutes to dry completely, I made more or less two layers, I do not know if it's enough When I put the liquid plaster on I'll know. I thought it was very cool to see the entire process, I thought it would be an embarrassment for the model because of the plaster to warm up when it is drying, or because it covers everything and to not see anything and everything, but she said it is quiet and very fast I even got another model for tomorrow with everything she said. I just hope that now works the second part that is for the liquid plaster and see if the mold will come out with the face of the person!

27/09/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-09-27 11:05:51 UTC

I managed to make 3 molds today from different girls, all of them said that it was quiet process, which at the beginning of a polo of fear, but that after is quiet. I just think I should have made more layers because they are very thin, and it looks like they got a few holes, and I'm afraid the plaster will run into those little holes! I still did not buy the plaster powder I'm still researching where to buy, I saw that in Leroy's and in other construction shops too, and it's all the same, a bit expensive so I'll buy two big bags and see how much I'll buy more later!

28/09/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-09-30 19:55:04 UTC

I arrived early today to make the plaster stones. my first problem was: I did not know the amount and plaster for the amount of water, and I did a lot of plaster for a mascara, and then I threw the rest that was left in the bucket outside, which in the case was very, almost half the bag. on the second chew I used my plaster but a lot of water, then it got very liquid and it flooded the mask, it became very soft, and the nose crumpled. I also removed what vasilin I have to pass in the mascara before the plaster, the first I put the liquid vasilina and after the plaster dried the bandages almost did not leave right, and much of it was stuck in the plaster and then I had to sand, already in the second mascara I passed solid vasilina, and when I went to take it out came out almost iteira and the plaster stone was very greasy, but I'll need the next time spread it right with the hand spatula because the last ones I did with the spatula, did not cover some parts so there were flaws! AH I ONLY RECEIVED AN EMAIL FROM A SUPPORT HOUSE THAT THEY WANT TO MARK ME WITH THE PEOPLE TO TALK AND TALK WITH SOME VITIMA WOMEN OF AGGRESSION, but I went to find the director and she was not there, I do not know if she forgot or another I found it a little bureaucratic, very unfriendly, but I need to hear it from a woman who frequents the place, and not I who was there only once, and not seeking refuge!

01/10/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-10-01 22:23:50 UTC

experimentation and other alternatives are always welcome for other outings and another way of solving things! Well today was my B plan to produce on larger quantities of faces without using so many models! I did a research on how to make silicone mold and saw that it was quite easy, so I went behind the materials that were butter, corn starch and silicone. I made a small mold for a bolt to see if it would work, and how it worked I started to do the mold for the face, but unfortunately it did not work the smell got very strong and I could not even get close to breathe and when I put it on the face of plaster did not take very well the mold of the face so it did not work, maybe because it was not the right silicone mold but the construction, so I went to ask Marcelo if she knew some place that sells the exact mold and he gave me the address and I'll go tomorrow and do another test to see if it works this time and I can have another exit! Everything is happening as planned action plain, so very happy with it and it seems that everything is going well, and I hope it continues like this

yasmin_silva — 2018-10-01 22:24:08 UTC

02/10/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-10-04 10:34:34 UTC

good, with the first attempt to make the silicone mold went wrong, I went to the store that Marcelo gave me to go buy the silicone itself to make the face mold with the appropriate material! The store is amazing, it's called Dulatex and it's in the center of São Paulo, the staff was very attentive and they helped me a lot to understand how the whole process of doing everything would be, since the face I had was hollow and not massive. When I got back to EBAC, I began to do the process that Seu Domingos told me, it took about 2 hours to dry after the silicon preparation, and I was terrified of not mixing the catalyst well and then the dough did not dry, but everything went fine, after two o'clock I went to take out the plaster cast of the silicone to see it and it was perfect, now it was time to make the second part, put that part in a bowl, both pieces with vazilina, and then pour the rest of the silicon with catalyze on top. The problem here was that I had 2 pots and a half of liquid silicone and I thought I would give it all, but the jar I chose was too loose and did not cover a tip of the chin and nose, but the Marcelo who was helping me, a genius, saw that the vessel was tightened, the liquid would compress and rise to the top that this lack of, then we took a utensil to compress and tighten the side and after waiting an hour and a half I went to draw and guess: it worked ! I was very happy that it worked, but happier that I learned to mess with it. Now we only have to put the plaster in this ready silicone mold to see if it will take off or if it will not work, we hope everyone will!

yasmin_silva — 2018-10-04 10:34:52 UTC

yasmin_silva — 2018-10-04 10:35:09 UTC

yasmin_silva — 2018-10-10 04:27:38 UTC

03/10/18
I decided to try other material today to see the difference of a raw plaster with a plaster with alginate, and I managed to come to the conclusion that the alginate it is great for copying detail home with perfection, home line, nail and every detail unbelievable, I found it well cool and much easier to handle and everything else than the plaster itself. the only problem was that I used a very small bowl to put it on by the hand and then it came out small and cut part of my fingers, but the next thing I do, I'll do it in a bigger and longer pore!

04/10/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-10-10 04:27:47 UTC

today I did not do much, basically I was exchanging ideas with NGOs to see if I could get another conversation with some woman who has already suffered violence and if she wanted to talk about! and in the end I got one for next week on Wednesday, I hope everything goes well! the afternoon I took two more molds, it was very fast, I'm turning professional already, just hope everything time!

05/10/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-10-10 04:27:53 UTC

on crit day Isa said that the work is getting very rich and she could help me being my model (plus one of) to take the mold and like history too!

17/10/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-10-20 12:25:21 UTC

Today I went to Dulatex, that is a store where sell the silicone, and I bought 25kg of siline to do the 5 molds! When I arrive at home everything went wrong, I don’t know exactly what happen but the silicone did not dry in the plaster cast to get the format, I don’t know if it was the catalyst, or if I had not moved right, but I tried 3 times and the 3 went wrong! Now I just wanna cry because I think that I don’t have time, because tomorrow I’ll to the ONG take the Silene’s cast, and after this I need start this again, and I very anguished to get wrong again. So I don’t know what to do!

18/10/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-10-20 12:25:29 UTC

I took the cast of Silene, and when I rived at home I started the process again with silicone, exactly how “Seu Domingos” explains to me tge first time that I did and get right, but went wrong again and I called him, he explained me more one time and I tried again but guess what, went wrong again, I’m very desperate, because today is Thursday and I don’t have ANY SILICONE MOLD, I need follow exactly the schedule because if I dont do this, I can’t deliver my project!
So I think that I will tomorrow to the store again to Domingos explain me again, for me start to do the things right because I already lost 5 kg of silicone and the cast of Silente that was the most important face that I needed and I really don’t want lose anything more because all this stuff is very expensive and important!

Ps - Now I’m freaking out and I’m crying

19/10/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-10-20 12:25:41 UTC

20/10/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-10-20 12:25:48 UTC

16/10/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-10-20 12:26:12 UTC

PROGRESS TUTORIAL
Ana and me discussed about my time and the numbers of the faces that I need to have in two weeks, that is 240! So, for this happens I need five silicone molds, to start next weekend to produce 7 plaster’s pieces of each mold that in 4 days I’ll have 140 faces, that in two weeks is a total of 280 faces, and still have 3 weeks left to do the video of me breaking some of these pieces to put together the exhibition! Both of We agree that I’m not in high risk because every thing is very decided, I just need comply the schedule and don’t lose focus! So tomorrow I’ll star to do the molds and in the and of Sunday I need to have this 5 mold ready to start on Monday the production with plaster!

22/10/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-10-22 23:52:39 UTC

good to meet the schedule today my goal was to have 3 silicone molds to make 10 of each and so in 4 days I have 50, at the end of the week I would have 200! but I could not start the second with the 5 silicone molds and 3 molds, so I made 10 of each of these 3 and then at the end of the day I had 30 faces of plaster ready, and during the drying process I took the mold of two more people to start making the silicone mold and tomorrow start the day with 5 silicone molds and make the production of them! I found it very tiring the process of making the faces of plaster, of making a plaster coat, then another and another, this tires a lot and hurts my back a lot, but it's the way things work out, do not give up! otherwise everything went very quiet, only one piece cracked when I went to remove the silicone mold because I started to have no patience and want to do everything in a hurry and when I took it was not dry and cracked, but anyway I will use this piece! so more patience, pain is psychological and ball forward follow the calendar and make it work! AH making silicone mold is now my new profession hahahha I'm already pro at it!

23/10/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-10-23 20:51:38 UTC

I was not able to finish the last two silicone molds yesterday, it did not dry in time so I scheduled it in the morning to do it and the afternoon to produce 5 pieces of each mold, and it worked out, but I only got 4 of each because plaster finished and only gave to make 20 pieces and not what was to be done, which were 30! but it's okay tomorrow I'm going to buy more plaster knowing that 5 kilograms only make 15 pieces without adding much water and risk breaking easier, which hurts what I did in the last pieces to complete 20! so I'll need 32 kg to do the 100 pieces this week, and 64 kg to make the 200 pieces next week!

25/10/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-10-26 18:48:22 UTC

today was a tiring day, but I needed to follow the schedule so the desire to give up, the desire to stop and play everything up had to pass and I managed to finish the day with 48 heads, I was already so exhausted at the end of day I was in such a hurry that I just wanted to finish it so I did not wait for the plaster to dry right (which took between 10 and 15 minutes) when I went out of the mold they broke so I did not get to do the 50 that was the goal, happy because even so tired I got to make a good amount and close to what I wanted to achieve, in fact this work is fiddling with my head, and my psychological but I'm trying to win it because I know that the end result will be incredible

26/10/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-10-26 18:54:51 UTC

I can’t believe that I finished the week with the number of heads that I planned! So now I have 175 faces, I planed finished the week with 140, so I really happy with this but! I don’t know why I think that this that I choose to do is somithg boring, is to simple, I don’t know but I need to talk with may tutor to her explain me that because now I don’t have time to do another thing or something more i don’t know, more complex, ore diferent!

24/10/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-11-04 23:48:01 UTC

Well I took the day to rest, the days have been exhausting, and my skin began to dry out and began to do sore because I began to scratch my arms and hands a lot, so I took the day to compose fisicamsnfe and mentally

29/10/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-11-05 00:02:33 UTC

Good weekend I thought better of how I would expose all the heads. At first I would expose 250 heads stacked on the floor, but I was no longer liking the idea, I wanted something different and more shocking, so I decided that I could hang my heads like I was in a network and instead of the video breaking the pieces I could only record a poem of mine with piece of stories I heard in the interviews I did, and I made that poem on Sunday soon after deciding that I would hang a red security net and the faces on top of it, more or less like Tunga in Trou Rouge but the net would be flat and in the "belly" of the net would be an arm hanging holding a flower that was the idea that helped me write the poem!
Today when the day started I decided the place that would put the faces and that 150 faces were already enough then this week that I would do 200 more pieces I will research more about the networks and if that's what I want for the exhibition

30/10/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-11-05 00:02:42 UTC

When I presented the project of exhibition for Leo he liked it, it seemed cool but he did not like the idea of the arm and the flower, which made me a little frustrated because it was something that I really wanted to put and everything, but he helped me to see that it was enough and that I might be wanting to put a lot of stuff to "fill up sausage" and that I did not need it because it was already good, and it also gave me another idea of maybe while the net being flat it could be like a bag, about the same as Tunga's Trou Rouge, and I really liked the idea, and Moniquee named it a tarp for me to go see the screens that would be safe to hang and support the weight of the plaster and not run the risk of falling and breaking everything I did! I'm going there on thursday

01/11/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-11-05 00:03:01 UTC

I woke up early today to go to the place where Monique told me, that is 17 km from my house which took almost 50 minutes to arrive, and even when I arrived there they were no longer a store, they only received orders but I did for the boy to let me come in to show him my work for him and maybe he could help me, and he accepted and I talked to him and he knotted me a lot, told me what would be the best rope that is one with a spacing of 5 millimeters which weighs almost 500 kilos, and the possibility of having a red one and do not need to dye lowered a bit in the budget too and he did not even charge me the freight to deliver at my house, they were very attentive and after 3 hours I was already in my home, I'm very happy the comfy with my idea, I hope to work out

05/11/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-11-11 22:49:22 UTC

I took the net and I saw the size of it and I think it is a good size, I just do not know if the choice of red was really good or not, because I do not know if it will be a nice contrast with the masks, or if it will take the focus of them, but I hope it looks cool, anything I can paint in white or other color! and as we received the place that we are going to stay and thank God I was able to stay with the place that I was planning so I have already placed more or less the screen where it should stay to have more or less a notion of how everything is going to be, and I think when the walls are painted and everything is arranged the network in red will be ideal, my problem now is how I will extend and actually hold this network so it does not fall

06/11/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-11-11 22:49:29 UTC

meeting with my assistant today was important, I saw that she wants to help a lot, but Carlos gave me a contact from a person who already works with artists' installations and who could help me to hold more securely so my assistant will probably help me with a few things, probably painting the walls and gluing the upholstery to make it sound better (Michael and I loved it!)! I think that everything is well underway, is not to lose focus and disperse, I need to run behind these foams I think it will be a good idea even to make the place more private with the only internal sound not being hampered by other sound streams

08/11/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-11-11 22:49:39 UTC

the space was measured correctly, I thought it was very small in my area and I have to go up the network a bit so that people can sit more at ease and do not bump into the sculpture, I just really have a sense of how many people are going to be able to enter at a time after the walls are already ready but I think it's only about 5 at a time! I called Rubens (installation contact) and he said he could help me assemble and he would think of solutions to hang the net without sticking to the school beam! I hope that everything is ok because my concern about this being well-taken is great, because I do not want it to go down, I want it to be safe and that a tragedy does not happen

09/11/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-11-11 22:49:48 UTC

I talked to my tutor today, Ana, and she showed me a video of a string about the law Maria da Penha and at first I thought about changing and putting this string but I think I will not change because I want something more serious, and the poem was made by me then I think it would give another air! I'm seeing my assistant if she can help me edit the poem in the voice of anonymity that newspapers use to not identify a victim, I hope everything is okay and that I can do it because I do not want them to identify my voice and I do not want to Let someone else read the poem!

12/11/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-11-20 15:38:18 UTC

At this point I have already finished everything I needed: the faces of plaster, the network for hanging and the audio that I will use. What is missing and worries me a bit is how I can manage everything the way it is to be mounted and nothing falls and break everything, but Carlos told me to trust the person he gave me to help me ride, he is professional and said that I can trust with my eyes closed. I really hope, tomorrow he will come to EBAC to analyze the space and see what it is possible to do so that the network is safe and do not risk falling, I hope the price is ascertainable!
But without doubt my greatest achievement and I already teho to rejoice with it, that at the beginning was one of my biggest problems is to have managed to find a good solution and have made more than 100 rosstos of plaster in the schedule marked, which was in two weeks I got that number. I was very stressed during these two weeks while I was doing the faces, because it was a long and tiring process, but I knew I could not stop even when I wanted to put everything on the floor and give up I thought that in the end

13/11/18

yasmin_silva — 2018-11-20 15:38:45 UTC

Today Rubens came to evaluate the place and he said that it was possible to hang the net safely and that he would get it and the price is 300 reais. and as I finished everything and only need this security, I managed to achieve my daily goals and I'm calmer after he confirmed that it would work. Now I'm just thinking if I print something written to leave in the entrance wall for people to find out what the work is about and that they need to get in the place where everything will be set up and sit so they can visualize the work and listen to the poem.
About the evaluation criteria I think I'm safe because I fulfilled everything I could do as the tutors and Michael said, in my progress my tutor, Ana said that if I actually fulfilled my schedule to complete the faces and run to finish everything I would be all right and I could do well, so I'm confident about this, because I know that I followed what everyone said from the beginning very regulated, at least I hope so.