In all seriousness, I am an introvert. This word tends to come with a negative connotation. When people think of an introvert, they think of a socially awkward no life who reads about universal theories and quantum physics in their freetime. But there is so much more to me than what one word’s reputation holds. 

   

“Quiet people have the loudest minds.” - Stephen Hawking 

This quote by one of history's greatest minds best explains what being an introvert is truly about. I am quiet, and have very little to say. However, my mind continues to think and ideas flow through my head whenever I interact with people. My few words have so much meaning to them. My five words are equivalent to another hundred words. I don’t say things just to say them, and I think this is why people think I do not like socializing. I like people and I like having friends, but my little words make me come off as “socially awkward”. I have grown to love this trait about myself because this is who I am. I am not ashamed of being judged for being who I am and I have learned to relish these introverted qualities God has given me. 

Now, as you may know, I’m writing this during one of the most crucial years of my life. Major life decisions that could alter how my whole life plays out. Growing during this time is expected. As I feel the pressure of maturing myself before college. I have come to the realization that I am a work in progress, but that that’s okay. Everyday, I experience situations that change the way I view myself and the world. It will take time, so patience is key. 

It starts with the little things. Although quiet with my friends I came into high school a whole menace, with little to no filter, cursing and using slang was a religion in my speech. I look back now and cringe at my old self. It took time for me to gradually change and finally come to the realization that old Eric was not it. Four whole years. I still have plenty of bad habits, but growth is bound to happen in the future if you are open to it.

Then there are bumps in part of growing where growth seems to be at a full stalemate. Doing algebra questions either gets too confusing or too easy. Reading books late at night gets dull. Everything seems to be at a constant loop. This occurred many times throughout highschool but towards the end I’ve noticed, you can't measure growth on a daily scale but instead look at it when its all said and done. 

I know I’m not walking alone on this path where Jurassic adjustments are being made as everyone around this time and age may very well be going down a similar path. Nevertheless, everyone graduating this year wants to change for the better either that's helping others more, disciplining themselves, or simply changing their physical appearance. 

These are all great changes but what do I want to change most in the future? Easy. Speaking up for both myself and others.

Although being an introvert, I need to know when to speak up instead of having my thoughts always bottled up. Many incidents happen throughout school and extracurricular activities where saying “yes” really is the only response that comes out of my mouth. Many of my friends and even family members have told me about how people when I grow older into the real world could take complete advantage of you if you really dont speak up for yourself. 

While speaking up could really change me for the better, I believe there are still many situations where keeping quiet and agreeing with others are necessary depending on the situation. Nevertheless, I want to grow into a person where I know the difference between when to speak up and when to keep quiet instead of “yea” and “yes” as the only way of talking. Clearly stepping out of my bubble and speaking up is a difficult task to do even over a span of years because at the same time, I want to be who I am instead of forcing out a fake personality.

Ultimately In the end, I want to come back and look back during this time and say, “ Wow, I did come a long way if I was a dumbass like this back then.”