Spring 2024 Sample Personal Statement Analysis & Reaction by Erin Powers

epowers — 2024-05-30 14:49:33 UTC

epowers — 2024-05-30 14:50:14 UTC

epowers — 2024-05-30 14:56:00 UTC

epowers — 2024-05-30 14:57:53 UTC

epowers — 2024-05-30 14:58:24 UTC

epowers — 2024-05-30 14:59:04 UTC

Riley Rupprecht

rileyrupprecht — 2024-06-07 00:10:51 UTC

I feel that this essay and the "Home" essay are very similar in format. However, this essay is more cohesive and sticks to one central point. I feel that the student's stories provide vivid illustrations of their life while also connecting to their main claim about why they want to pursue programming. For example, the author writes, "Despite these subjects’ apparent dissimilarity, each provided fresh, fascinating perspectives on the world with approaches like color theory and evolution." This portion of the essay clearly expresses the author's love for connecting topics and gives context and examples.

Naomi Hoffman

2024-06-07 14:16:41 UTC

I think that this essay was very effective at showcasing the writer's personality. The anecdote at the beginning set up the rest of the essay, talking about details. The essay was written fairly casual with paragraphs such as "Sound exciting? It is to me", while writing down Heron's formula a few paragraphs prior. I think that focusing on the details without losing a sense of self strengthened the essay.

Olivia Teeters

2024-06-07 14:17:20 UTC

This essay specifically did a great job with highlighting the change the writer saw after participating in the debate club. The writer characterizes their younger self as shy and accommodating. After joining the debate club, they noticed a clear change. They use precise diction such as "proud and confident." This contrasts with their previous characterization, clearly demonstrating a change. Also, they bring up their future intentions and interests, stating that "In particular, I am interested in the North-South Korea tension." This successfully connects their debate experience with their future interests.

Claire Getson

2024-06-07 14:22:29 UTC

This essay was very effective because they illustrated characteristics that make up who they are as a person. The essay was very cohesive and had the same central theme throughout it. The anecdote at the beginning set up the rest of the essay. They showcased character traits that make up who they are and gave different stories in different settings for how their personality shines. The ending was a surprise but inevitable and they wrapped it up by saying "The question is: will the toothbrushes I hand out be mineral white or diamond white?" I think this was very effective because it linked to an earlier discussion. While this essay was written more casually, I think the essay was conveyed strongly.

Myles Kaye

2024-06-07 14:35:27 UTC

I thought that this was a very effective essay because it really revealed a lot about who the student is. The student's curiosity was made apparent throughout the essay and it was very easy to see how this applied to many different aspects of their life. The end of the essay was also strong because it was an unexpected career path, but it was still connected to the student. Finally, the essay also portrayed the student's sense of humor ("Sound exciting?").

2024-06-07 14:39:56 UTC

This essay was particularly resonant with me because of the authentic, transparent nature of the writer. Given the early description of the author, they way he delivers his information comes as an enlightening surprise as one wouldn't expect for someone as taciturn as he was to write in the style he does. The flow of the essay was cohesive as every point had a clear connection to the next. His rhetorical questions at the end that related to his aspiring occupation highlighted his intellect and ability to think, which is something that a college essay reviewer would look for.

Remi Haberle

2024-06-07 15:03:09 UTC

This essay effectively demonstrated the writer's personality and interests. It showed a lot about the person's life and how they faced challenges. The story was easy to read and track, it wasn't all over the place for no reason, it had a chronological progression that connected to the previous thing well. The essay also did a good job at describing each event in their life and it was easy to envision the scene.

Lauren Elgart

2024-06-09 21:54:19 UTC

I thought that this essay was the most effective because I was able to truly see who the student is. I was able to understand their personality and they did a great job of connecting everything back to who they are. I also thought that structurally this essay was really effective and clear, even with the surprise ending. This essay was engaging and creative and definitely would grab the attention of admission officers.

James Fassbender

2024-06-10 00:59:17 UTC

I thought that this was the best essay out of the six because of how vulnerable the writer was about themselves. All of the other essays weren´t as transparent about themselves personally as this one, and I think that´s what made me able to resonate with them the best. This person also did well with transitioning from the challenges they faced, to how they overcame them, to what they plan on doing in the future. They not only described a challenge, but personal growth by characterizing themselves in the beginning as ¨crying¨ and ¨defunct¨ to being ¨proud and confident¨ at the end. If I were an admissions officer, I would search for personal growth in a student´s essay, and this essay did it the best out of those six.

Avery Plon

2024-06-10 01:43:18 UTC

This essay, in my opinion, was the most effective because it allowed the reader to gain insight not only to the writers interests but to her personality as well. The essay was very clear and concise and every idea was placed in a certain part of the paper that made sense. It connected to different parts of her life in various ways ultimately leading her to a career path which I think is very enticing because she knows what she's interested in and it shows a lot about her. I found she did well with being humorous and relatable, for example, when she said you probably think this... wrong. I though that that added a surprising factor and helped the student lead into the end of the essay.

Julie Dinofa

2024-06-10 11:43:52 UTC

I think this was the best essay because the writer first opened with a description of themself as a kid, but then connected this to something related to school. They did a great job of building up the layers of their essay and setting it up. They begin with a foundation of information, then connect it to themself seamlessly and almost unexpectedly. If I were a college admissions officer I would accept this student because they demonstrate the qualities that make up a string student.

Charlie Spause

charlesspause — 2024-06-10 12:11:34 UTC

I really liked this essay because, one: I really like Jon Stewart on The Daily Show and Two: I thought this essay took a very unique approach to expressing who they are in an essay. I thought it was very interesting to describe a comedy show like The Daily Show like a class because in a lot of ways it can feel that way, but in the best way possible. While extremely hilarious, you actually do learn quite a lot in the little amount of time that it is on. I liked how after describing what The Daily Show is, the writer then turned to how it impacted them and made them a more critical person of the world in general. They found their friends arguing an issue and spewing out what the media has been saying for either side of the argument with their biases. However, the writer explains how they were able to get both of them to reconsider their views because the way The Daily Show made them reconsider the way they are getting their information from. I thought that was very cool to incorporate in their essay; a real life example as to how The Daily Show has positively affected them.

Daine Knittel

2024-06-10 13:23:14 UTC

I found this to be the most effective essay because I think it explores a unique aspect of the author's personality and character more so than the others. It is extremely self aware and introspective, and it explains the author's desire to be unbiased and constantly as informed as possible, while also retaining individuality and being opinionated. It is something that I relate to, and the structure of this essay could lend itself to my topic potentially.