Vance Google Sites Peer Feedback 2019 - 2020 by Vance Slack https://padlet.com/26vslack/y45g7ss6ogyy Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2019-12-05 15:13:05 UTC 2019-12-09 19:32:09 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f94d.png Narrative Writing peace From Lorenzo 26ltittanegro https://padlet.com/26vslack/y45g7ss6ogyy/wish/420785379 I like the hook how it shows the reader that something has happened to the mom. It really pull the reader in and make them want to read and read and find out what happened to her.
I also like the way that you spit a bunch of the names in your story they are very unique for example Dominik,Jon,Mikkey. Also one thing that I can tell you is to add a little more detail on page 5 paragraph 3.

]]> 2019-12-06 15:15:25 UTC https://padlet.com/26vslack/y45g7ss6ogyy/wish/420785379 Story Feedback- Chase 26cherb https://padlet.com/26vslack/y45g7ss6ogyy/wish/421811623 Something I like in your story is at the start when you say “I was skittishly darting from the ferocious rain” It helps you understand how he was moving and how fast.  Another thing I like is when you added a lot of details at the start like when you said    “My legs felt like wheels on a truck.  My lungs started to freeze. My teeth quickly chattered, my hands powerfully clenched and my knees trembled. As my legs and the rest of my body were about to give out I made it home.  
My clammy hands twisted the door knob, I heard a loud bang outside. I powerfully open the door and stumble into apartment b2.”  It shows how good of a writer you are and it will make people want to read more.  One thing you can work on is some of your sentences they don't make sense like I don't get what you said when you said. “While I walk to biology but then Mikey stops me.”


]]> 2019-12-09 19:20:28 UTC https://padlet.com/26vslack/y45g7ss6ogyy/wish/421811623 Story Feedback- Seth 26shunter https://padlet.com/26vslack/y45g7ss6ogyy/wish/421819708 I like how you used good juicy word choice in your writing it really makes your piece something that people would want to read. I like how you used your dialogue the right way and it really made a lot of sense to read and know what your characters are trying to say or talk to each other. Maybe something that you can improve your capitalization because words or letters that are supposed to be capitalized weren't. Also at some points in your story there were Ping Pong dialogue and we don't want that in our stories.]]> 2019-12-09 19:31:53 UTC https://padlet.com/26vslack/y45g7ss6ogyy/wish/421819708