Emily Google Sites Peer Feedback 2019 - 2020 by Emily Roof https://padlet.com/26eroof/y07mefvl788j Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2019-12-05 18:36:43 UTC 2025-12-03 23:25:50 UTC hello@padlet.com http://il8.picdn.net/shutterstock/videos/20893606/thumb/1.jpg Narrative Feedback 26knitro https://padlet.com/26eroof/y07mefvl788j/wish/420937369 A strength of your narrative, “The Big Disaster” is the way you included Mandy’s emotions change as the events walked past her. My favorite one is where Mandy is in the storm and she is very frustrated by it. Then once she realizes that she is Miami she is really happy. I like when you did that because it feels as if Mandy is right there beside us. In addition I really like how you should the reader how supportive Mandy’s friends are by adding great detail. Like how you said that Ashleigh and Jessica were so excited on the inside. My favorite thing that you included was that you had them be very supportive. Plus you showed the reader they were supportive by showing it with detail. I absolutely love your story Emily!  However, a tiny suggestion I could offer you is to try and add a little show not tell. 
But out of all, your story is so good! Great work!

]]> 2019-12-06 18:49:37 UTC https://padlet.com/26eroof/y07mefvl788j/wish/420937369 story feedback 26kparchman https://padlet.com/26eroof/y07mefvl788j/wish/422272331 Your story was great. I really liked how Mandy just woke up in Florida it made the story sound kind of mischievous. It was also cool how Mandy's parents did not believe her about the storm. One thing I think you could improve on is that the beginning of the story felt rushed and you need to put italics on her thoughts. ]]> 2019-12-10 16:50:57 UTC https://padlet.com/26eroof/y07mefvl788j/wish/422272331 story feedback https://padlet.com/26eroof/y07mefvl788j/wish/422302401 I love your story so much. I like the way you show how the character is feeling and using good action words. For example,  you wrote “Mandy cautiously alerted her parents that her teacher, Mrs. Hamilton, told the class that a vicious, monstrous, gasping storm was traveling to town.’’ Another thing I liked about your story is, is that you used a lot of dialogue. In my opinion I feel that if you didn't put as much dialogue ,maybe the reader might not really understand the story. One thing I would work on is the main idea. Maybe, next time you should repeat some things that the character is saying.

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