https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr By: Rachael Lippincott, Mikki Daughtry, Tobias Iaconis en-us 2023-04-03 18:42:46 UTC 2023-04-17 00:04:30 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f4d6.png cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542638228 And right underneath all that vibrancy is... my pile of medical equipment, sitting right next to a hideous green faux-leather hospital chair that comes standard for every room here at Saint Grace's.]]> 2023-04-03 18:48:48 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542638228 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542638429 #1: Plan to-do list," which I've already put a satisfying line through, and going all the way down to "#22: contemplate the afterlife."]]> 2023-04-03 18:48:59 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542638429 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542638905 "I wonder, all too often, what it would be like to have lungs this healthy. This alive. I take a deep breath, feeling the air fight its way in and out of my body."]]> 2023-04-03 18:49:24 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542638905 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542639077 "Petals burst out from every edge of the twin ovals in soft pinks, deep whites, even heather blues, but somehow each one has a uniqueness, a vibrancy that feels like it'll bloom forever."]]> 2023-04-03 18:49:35 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542639077 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542639185 I'm sure," I say firmly, and they know I mean it. We've been friends since middle school, and they know by now that when it comes to plans, my CF gets the final say.]]> 2023-04-03 18:49:42 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542639185 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542639512 It's not like I don't want to go. It's just, quite literally, a matter of life or death.]]> 2023-04-03 18:49:56 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542639512 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542639613 Neither of them returns my smile, though and both opt to continue looking like I killed their family pets.]]> 2023-04-03 18:50:03 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542639613 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542639784 this isn't the first time my cystic fibrosis has taken me out of the running for some class trip or sunny vacation or school event.]]> 2023-04-03 18:50:09 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542639784 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542640100 Me with an IV drip in my arm, the bag bursting with butterflies of different shapes and colors and sizes. ---Then there's the most delicate one, a faded tornador of stars that she drew my very first time here."]]> 2023-04-03 18:50:20 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542640100 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542640193 He meets my eyes. "Barb happened." He tells me about what he overheard in the hallway, how Barb confronted Will about us, how being together would kill the both of us.]]> 2023-04-03 18:50:26 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542640193 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542640297 "DING! Another message.
I've got CF and you remind me to always stay positive. XOXO. 
My heart warms, and I give a final big smile for the camera, for that person fighting the same fight that I am."]]> 2023-04-03 18:50:32 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542640297 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542640380 I swallow hard, trying to stop the emotions that come bubbling up, tears clouding my eyes. "How did you know that?" I've seen all your movies," he says, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiles at me. "You might say I'm a fan."]]> 2023-04-03 18:50:38 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542640380 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542640496 Since I'm not going to be basking in the warm Cabo sun in a bathing suit of my choice, I figure I can at least live a little vicariously through my friends by picking out theirs with them.]]> 2023-04-03 18:50:46 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542640496 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542640609 It was taken a few summers ago on the front porch of our house during a Fourth of July barbecue. Me, Abby, Mom, and Dad, goofy smiles on all our faces as the camera captures the moment.]]> 2023-04-03 18:50:52 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542640609 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542640764 She has a todo list she follows and she has a youtube live account.]]> 2023-04-03 18:50:57 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542640764 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542640839 "No envie dinero, no puede pagarlo," the voice says, the tone somber, sad. Dinero. Money.

(don't sent money, you can't pay it "]]> 2023-04-03 18:51:02 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542640839 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542640913 " There's a knock on my door, and it flies open not even a second later as Barb busts in holding an armful of pudding cups for me to take my medication with. "I'm back! Delivery!"]]> 2023-04-03 18:51:06 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542640913 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542641188 I look over to see Will holding on to a treadmill for dear life, gasping for breath as he power walks. His portable oxygen is slung over his shoulder in that classic, trendy CFer-exercising style. I practically dragged him here.]]> 2023-04-03 18:51:18 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542641188 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542641278 Because they've gone and messed up everything by getting divorced. And after losing each other, they won't be able to handle losing me, too. I know it. ]]> 2023-04-03 18:51:23 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542641278 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542641369 He starts to sing, softly.
"I love you, a bushel and a peck--"
Go away. I'm being stupid," I blubber as I wipe the tears away with the back of my hand, shaking me head.
"A bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck."]]> 2023-04-03 18:51:29 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542641369 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542641512 My fingers land on a sign hanging on her door. I look up, reading it: NOTHING TO EAT OR DRINK AFTER MIDNIGHT. SURVEY 6 A.M.]]> 2023-04-03 18:51:37 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542641512 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542641578 "He slams the stop button on the treadmill, the machine halting abruptly as he spins around to face me, fixing his nose cannula as he struggles to catch his breath."]]> 2023-04-03 18:51:42 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542641578 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542641663 "I pull the ribbon, and the box unfurls into a handmade, colorful, pop-up bouquet of flowers, the same purple lilacs and pink hydrangeas and white wildflowers as in Abby's drawing suddenly brought to life. Will]]> 2023-04-03 18:51:46 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542641663 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542641736 What is Poe doing here? He looks at me, his face serious. "Will's not coming." What?" I manage to get out. "Why isn't he coming?" "He doesn't want to see you. He's not coming."]]> 2023-04-03 18:51:50 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542641736 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542641833 "Welcome," I say, sitting opposite from him, his eyes like daggers. "Bitch," he shoots back. "Asshole." We grin at each other, our fight officially over.]]> 2023-04-03 18:51:57 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2542641833 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2554568090 "It's almost impossible to keep my eyes open, my eyelids feeling heavier than a sack of potatoes."]]> 2023-04-14 13:46:36 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2554568090 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2554568294 "I take a deep breath, the world swinging into focus, my head foggy. I blink as her face comes into view, my dad standing beside her. I'm alive. I made it."]]> 2023-04-14 13:46:46 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2554568294 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2554568527 "I give her a big grin. "I'm going to be the best aunt ever." Aunt Stella. Me. An aunt?]]> 2023-04-14 13:46:53 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2554568527 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2554568635 "No saliva also means no kissing." She takes a deep breath, looking right at me through the camera."Ever."]]> 2023-04-14 13:46:59 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2554568635 cutlerba23 https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2554569015 "I smile as I notice the tiny pink hearts floating above their heads, chuckling at the giant arrow in between reading " FIVE FEET AT ALL TIMES" in big, bright red letters."]]> 2023-04-14 13:47:20 UTC https://padlet.com/cutlerba23/xwwgx3qtbs07ivlr/wish/2554569015