Welcome back again! :) Hopefully, you have let the stories of Daniella, Sofia, Annemarie and Sophia from last week sink in. As a follow up to last week this week I will share my story related to abortion access in legally restricted countries. I will give you insight into my own experiences, attitudes and beliefs regarding this topic.

To start with a little bit of background about myself; I am a 25-years-old student, feminist, pro-choice, woman, nurse and born and raised in a rural area in Dronten (aka Lowlands). Even when I was little I was always busy caring for other people, therefore, becoming a nurse was not a surprise for everyone. When I eventually was working as a nurse I always felt restless. Of course, I was helping the people in my shift but for me, that felt too little, too late. How many shifts I worked did not change the fact that there is so much injustice in this world. Luckily, I got the opportunity to study further and I have never felt more at home studying the field of international public health and especially human rights.

When I found my internship at Women on Web I was through the roof because this organisation relates to human rights and ethical but also political questions. In the beginning, I was unfamiliar with the number of deaths due to unsafe abortions or the barriers that many women face when seeking an abortion. But now I do know I can not look away from it anymore.

In my opinion, everyone should have access to abortion on request with no requirement for justification. For me, this is in line with the fundamental human rights, in which the right to abortion is grounded in the rights to life; privacy; health; benefit from scientific progress and its realization; liberty; non-discrimination; equality and freedom of cruel, inhuman and degrading treatment. I am grateful that I grew up in a country where I can have an abortion when I need one. But I can not get my head around the fact that this was only a matter of chance because I was born in a country without restrictive abortion laws. In addition, I can not stress enough that restrictive abortion laws do not work because they do not decrease the abortion rate, it only increases the amount of unsafe abortion and deaths. 

For me, this scientific evidence is enough to believe that everyone should have access to abortion. I really tried to find scientific information that challenges this point of view but I could not find anything. What I do find is a lot of personal opinions. These personal opinions are mainly related to making decisions over someone else's body. Which I find strange because why would you ever want to make decisions about someone else's body that is not yours? But okay everyone has the freedom of thought and expression. In my opinion, it goes wrong when politicians are restricting abortion laws based on their own ideology. When you force your ideas on someone else’s body then you have crossed my line.

But when you can talk about your opinions with respect for each other and really try to listen then we can have a conversation. However, I think this conversation has never really found its place. From my own experience, I never had an abortion or have talked with someone who I know is anti-abortion. But when I did my research in trying to find a similar experience I came across a Youtube video between anti-abortion and pro-choice activists (link down below). They showed me that these kinds of conversations are possible. I think change is only going to happen by keeping these conversations going.

To wrap the last blogs up, in my opinion, based on human rights and scientific research, everyone should have access to abortion on request with no requirement for justification. In order to keep the needed conversation going, I am really curious what your opinion is. What do you think of abortion? Should it be accessible for everyone and why? Please let me know in the comments below! And on a final note; thank you for reading my blogs and your nice comments! :) 

Warm regards, Romy.  

Pro-Choice vs Pro-Life: Can They See Eye To Eye? | Middle Ground: 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRA0KMCEP2o&ab_channel=Jubilee

Reference:
Ganatra, B., Gerdts, C., Rossier, C., Johnson Jr, B. R., Tunçalp, Ö., Assifi, A., ... & Alkema, L. (2017). Global, regional, and subregional classification of abortions by safety, 2010–14: estimates from a Bayesian hierarchical model. The Lancet, 390 (10110), 2372-2381.

UN General Assembly. (1948). Universal declaration of human rights. UN General Assembly, 302(2), 14-25.

I noticed that when I started writing these blogs, I chose topic that were taboo in other cultures, but it eventually led to our culture as well. Where I can now conclude that in every culture there are still severe issues when it comes to sexual health. Besides there is also a certain sensitivity when it comes to speaking about sexual health. As you all have read in my previous blogs I wrote about the differences in art expressions related to HIV/AIDS, and I shared the story of Mariam Kako about Female Genital Mutilation (FGM). Now for my last blog I will share my own story and that will be about sexual transgressive behaviour (STB).  

This is the first time for me to speak (write) about it openly outside my closest environment. At first I was a bit hesitant to write about this topic because I experienced STB myself. But this didn’t last for long. Because soon I realized that my goal with these blogs was to break the taboo a bit. Therefore I think that openness about my experience will contribute to breaking the taboo. 

First of all, a little background information on STB, to give you some insight. Worldwide 1 out of 3 women has ever experienced physical and/or sexual violence by an intimate person or sexual violence by an intruder during their lifetime. In the Netherlands, 14% of girls between the age of 12 and 25 years, have ever experience sexual violence, and 44% has ever experienced that someone violated their boundaries, by touching them against their will till sexual intercourse. The older younger people get the more they experience STB¹. The numbers are shocking if you ask me, and just consider yourself that these numbers are not an actual reflection of the reality. 

I was 21 years when I experienced STB by someone in my close environment. It shocked me, and I froze. What shocked me even more was what happened after the experience. I needed support as you can imagine. But my friends started laughing and didn’t take me seriously. At the time this hurt me and I felt alone. Besides, what didn’t helped in this case that the guy who did this to me, waved it away and just said: ‘Don’t overreact, it was nothing’. Who was I to speak up to him? From that point I shut myself down. I felt ashamed. I started doubting myself, and saying to myself well maybe it was my fault? Maybe I did flirt with him? But even worse I told myself that I was lucky because he didn’t rape me, so maybe indeed I should not overreact this much. This experience haunted me for many years. I didn’t spoke about it, avoided almost all contact with men, and my self-esteem became very low. I lived, but I didn’t live from within myself. Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore and that was my breaking point. It was hard but the most important and beautiful thing that happened, because finally I opened op to my closest friends and my family. This was such a relieve, and from there on, with therapy, and the help of my environment, I started living as myself again.

By sharing this story, for a moment I went back in time, but there was no shame or guilt anymore. I’m glad that I’m at a point that I can and want to share this with you. I want to speak up! That’s what I also grant other women, in every culture, all over our world, to speak freely. It is estimated that 1 in 4 women don’t speak about when they have experienced STB. That are a lot of women… as I have experienced it has many severe consequences for our wellbeing. It shape and forms us, makes us believe we are to blame. I hope that we will stop blaming ourselves and that we will be free enough to share and connect again feel with each other. Hopefully many more girls and women will start sharing their story! Not just only about STB, but also about other sexual health related topics. We can learn and help each other so much. Together we can change our views!

As a final message I want to thank you all for reading and commenting on my blogs for the past few weeks! 

Silke Groot

References:

 1. https://www.loketgezondleven.nl/gezondheidsthema/seksuele-gezondheid/cijfers-en-feiten-seksuele-gezondheid/seksuele-grensoverschrijding