Communication is a lot more than asking your partner what’s for dinner. It transcends mere questions and statements about the ins and outs of everyday life. What does your partner want most in the future? What does your partner admire about you, and how can you help them achieve their goals? Communicating has just as much to do with talking as it has to do with listening. Be receptive, and know your partner well enough to read between the lines.

Sometimes, one partner feels stress that doesn’t directly affect the other partner. This is often the case when things are tough at work. Your spouse is going to have his or her “off” days. If the source of stress is ongoing, these days may become weeks. Rather than taking things personally, consider the things you can do to become an ally. 

Sex often takes a seat on the back burner when times are tiring or stressful. This should be the opposite of the truth. Sex releases bonding hormones that keep couples close, and without these hormones, it’s easy for that spark to fade away. Keep things exciting and alive. Switch up your old routine by bringing home some fun goodies, like kinky and erotic Randy Fox vibrators or fantasy costumes.

Closeness is great, but absence makes the heart grow fonder. If you spend every waking moment together, you’ll never get an opportunity to miss each other. Develop separate hobbies and take separate vacations. Meet up at the end of the day and share all the things you’ve learned. Personal growth is equally as important as growing with your partner. Nobody should feel as though they’re stagnating in a healthy marriage.

When you were in the courting phase of what eventually became your marriage, it’s likely you conflated some things about yourself, or pretended to like things that you didn’t. Over time, these white lies spiral into a real problem that leads to you assuming the identity of someone you aren’t. You need to be able to tell your partner the truth and develop a long lasting bond of trust. He or she should know you and be able to predict your feelings and behaviors based on your core values. Transparency brings couples closer together. 

It’s okay to be selfish once in a while, but a marriage will never work in the long term if you don’t know when to give up the last piece of pie. Marriage isn’t 50/50, it’s 100/100. Both of you need to give all you have to support each other, and enrich each other’s lives. Sometimes this means making short term sacrifices in order to receive long term benefits. Hand over the remote once in a while. Spend your day off helping your significant other with their passion project. In the end, it all comes back around.

A healthy and fulfilling marriage is neither a codependency, nor a scenario of two ships passing in the night. Both partners need to be independent and sure of themselves, and they need to be comfortable expressing their wants and desires. No matter what arises in your marriage, the solution always begins with a conversation and ends with a compromise.