I used to live in the South but then I moved to South Korea. I like puzzles and reading.

During my summer I did many music related activities. I also hung out with my friends and my boyfriend. When summer first started all I did was sleep, eat, and practice violin while going to 3 hour violin practice sessions on the weekends. After I slept everything off, I started doing more music such as learning new pieces of violin solos and other things. 

I also hung out with Jeesu. We were going to watch the Minions movie but there was no English version so we just hung out downtown to talk together and then we went to High Street to eat dinner together. We also went to Gong Cha and she was just texting Zack. Our families also hung out together. We went to this pasta restaurant and cafe together. I also went ice skating with Jeesu and her siblings. My siblings also came and it was funny seeing them talk because my siblings have no social skills. But I didn’t hang out with Jeesu a lot because he was a little too busy with Doyun and Zack. 

I also went to Yeosu with Liam. He can’t swim but it’s okay because the ocean wasn’t that deep so drowning wasn’t possible. After hanging out with everyone, I just did whatever I wanted before school started. I kept practicing violin and I also hung out alone a lot. I went to U-Square a lot to buy books and eat. I also hung out with my siblings, Joshua and Ariel. My sister loves playing CookieRun Kingdom and Roblox so I just played games with her. She also likes gifts so I buy her a lot of things. Joshua and I just talk when he isn’t playing Valorant with his friends. 

I also had to do summer school volunteering and I got the advanced class because I’m pretty bad at Korean. The kids listened well except for a few but they all listened in the end so it’s okay. Jeesu and Doyun were being so obvious during summer school but it’s okay. The kids were chanting DJ so it was funny. 

In conclusion, I didn’t do that much over the summer break but I practiced a lot of violin and learned new solos so I’m happy about that. I also got to see Jeesu and Liam so that’s good too. Summer was too hot anyway so I’m relieved it’s almost September because I hate the sun. 

I go to my mother and ask her why this happened. She showed me the news and apparently, all gravity from Earth has disappeared but for some magical reason we can all breathe just fine. Even though we’re all just floating now, my mother still takes me and Joshua to school but since we’re floating it’s much harder. Joshua kept complaining about how he can’t properly play Valorant anymore. 

Everyone got to school late because of how slow we got there. I get there and I see Jeesu playing Robeats and CookieRun. Even with no gravity her addiction towards CookieRun and Roblox does not stop. School isn’t going well because not only are we floating, but so are our laptops, ipads, and papers. Eventually, the school realizes that this was not going to work, so they improvised by tying everyone down to the floors. 

I just go through my day like I normally would because floating around would not affect me in any way. My siblings would complain a lot. 

My Chuseok break was very tiring and fun. Chuseok was really fun because I got to see my grandparents and I really love my grandparents so it was very nice seeing them and I love my grandma’s food so I ate a lot of food too. I didn’t see any of my cousins though. The one girl cousin that is my age is a valorant addict and my aunt tells me how she spends so much money and time on valorant and never goes to academy so she refuses to go to grandma’s house because there is no wifi there. And her older brother is a game addict too. My other cousin is just too busy studying. He’s ranked 1 in his whole Korean high school so he’s just too busy to come. Overall Chuseok was fun but then the AC in my car broke so that was really bad. 

Today I saw a woman with a baby in her arms. She was standing at the scaffold with a beautiful “A” on her chest. It was outrageous to see, everyone was yelling at the small woman with hateful remarks everywhere. To me though, I tried to understand her perspective a bit but could not. Adultery is a huge sin and should be taken quite seriously. 

My own thoughts were quite normal. This seemed like just another person committing adultery. I have seen many executions unfold before my own eyes but hers was quite different. It is said that her husband had passed away somewhere far out. Usually when one commits adultery, both get executed. Her case, quite peculiar seemed to attract many eyes towards her. 

I soon found out about this woman's name. Her name was Hester, Hester Pynne. She seemed very confident with the little baby in her arms. So much confidence is impressive. Usually when one is on the scaffold, they are quite scared and fearful.

The key left a piece of evidence indicating where it came from. Although the key was ornate, there were vines strangling the bar. The vines are quite similar to the vines from the forest in the back of my own home. That was a good place to check. I steadily walked myself to the forest to try to find any clues to find the origin of this key. 

The forest was bright with lots of bright colored plants and flowers. This particular day, however, seemed as if the insects were more attracted to me than ever. I look at my clothing and realize that there are pieces of gold all over me. I was shocked because I never had any gold on me before I left the gloomy home. 

I look at the key and realize that it is no longer covered in vines, but in gold, sprinkles of gold. I turn my head to see a short, stubby ginger man with green attire sitting at the edge of the rainbow. He congratulates me saying that I found the lucky pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. He then walked away, leaving me with the newfounded treasure. 

First, I will talk about the things I improved on and what I do well. Overall I think my writing style is pretty good especially with topics I actually enjoy writing. I also do well planning out my writings with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Because my planning is good, my writing structure also turns out well. So what I do well is planning out writings, doing well with topics I enjoy, and being able to keep my structure well organized. For what I could improve on I could definitely improve on vocabulary and doing better on topics that I do not particularly enjoy. Even if the topic is out of my comfort zone, I should still research and try my best to create the best piece of writing I can but most of the time, it seems that I do not do that which is something I hope to improve for the near future. For vocabulary I should add more advanced words to my writings. Honestly speaking, I think this writing portfolio truly showed me what my writing style was and what I should be improving on. When I was assigned the short story and my peers edited my work, that also really showed me what I should work on.

In conclusion, I think my bell ringers do not show my true style of writing as they are rushed sometimes and if I do not like the topic, it seems that my writing skills go down. The short story, I feel like, reflected my true writing style. Overall, I should work on being able to use more advanced vocabulary and being able to write well even with topics I do not take a liking to. 

You could say Estelle was obsessed with this student, she walked around clueless around the unknown hallways of her new school, not quite sure where to go with only one goal in mind; to find the student. She didn’t know why she admired this student so much as she never gave anyone this much attention. He was tall but not too tall with shaggy black hair. He had puppy-like eyes which she could never hold contact with. During class she would frequently glance her way towards the quiet male student, it became a small hobby of hers to admire the student. She didn’t even know the tall boy’s name yet she was very determined to become friends with him. 

August 22, 1932, Estelle opened her backpack to check her schedule. She did not purposely choose anatomy class just to see the tall student, but she enjoyed the small coincidence in her school life. Since the first day of school, she admired the student from afar in secret and when their classes coincided together with only 3 people in class, she was a sucker for staring at him from the back of the class. Estelle never chose the front seats and preferred to stay in the back, not because she disliked her classmates, but because she enjoyed the solitude while doing her schoolwork. She continued to admire the student and she began to find out more about him without directly talking to him. Estelle found out that the student’s name was Gerald. He was very passionate about the medical field, (That’s why he chose anatomy class) which increased Estelle’s curiosity even more. 

December 31, 1932. Christmas had already come and Estelle had still not talked to the boy she had promised herself to talk to many months ago. During those last few months leading up to December 31, Estelle had only thoughts about talking to Gerald. No action was ever made and everything stayed in her head and today was no exception even when assigned to do projects together. Although they sat across from each other with a close distance, neither of them spoke a word. Estelle was starting to get nervous as sweat formed on her temples. She could not even glance at the student in front of her as she feared the awkwardness of socializing. Suddenly the cold, dark classroom gave Estelle some interest. After a few moments of silence, from the corner of her eye, she sees Gerald type something in the document they had shared for the project. “Did you come up with any ideas?” Estelle’s eyes glistened with hope even though such a statement did not scream any interest towards her. With excitement Estelle typed back, “Yeah, how about you?” 

June 15, 1933, freshman Estelle was no more, she was now a sophomore, one-step closer to college application and she had still not become friends with Gerald. Her desire to become friends with him had now grown into feelings of admiration and perhaps a bit of…love? She was very confused with her feelings but she did not deny them at all but she did not take action as she had a conviction that Gerald had absolutely no interest in her. If you asked Estelle if she had proof of this, she could only stay silent as she had no proof about Gerald’s feelings towards her. Later that day, the school student council had announced that the high school will be participating in a field trip to the ocean. Estelle had no interest in going and neither did her friends. She begged her mom to not pay for the trip nor force her to go, but she had no choice but to go as she was required to go anyway. 

June 20, 1933. The weather was warm with bright white clouds covering the blue sky. Estelle had just arrived at the ocean with her school classmates and she was tired. Although tired, she still looked for the tall student she wanted to talk to so badly, but of course she didn’t. Throughout the course of this field trip Estelle simply took secret glances at him from afar. Starting from their ocean walks all the way to their walks back to their hotel. To her, admiring him from afar was a quiet yet fun hobby. The school teachers eventually took the whole student body to another ocean to hang around for a bit. There, Estelle saw Gerald playing with the sand. He seemed to have a hobby of creating sand castles as they were the best sand castles Estelle had ever seen. They were shaped to perfection with perfect edges and curves alongside the castle. With enough courage, Estelle stepped up and spoke to Gerald. “Your sand castles are cool, can you teach me how to make one?” Her heart beat nervously as she awaited his response. Gerald simply nodded and invited her over closer to him. 

The weather was still warm and breezy at the ocean the next day but Estelle could not look up from her phone. Jane glanced at her occasionally with concern as Estelle usually never goes on her phone for so long. She was smiling heavily as her fingers typed quickly. “Estelle, can you tell me what’s going on?” Jane was glaring with curiosity. Estelle later explained to her friend that she had been texting this tall student for a few weeks but she is certain he is just being a nice person. Jane looked at her with doubt, “I think he likes you back, just go for it.” Estelle just shrugged. 

June 8, 1933, school was normal as always and Estelle was now accustomed to her new school. She was pretty much close with everyone and even had a date that exact day. Estelle had never been on a date before so she did her best to research what she should wear, how she should act, etc. After multiple pieces of clothing were thrown around, she found an outfit to wear. It was a plain black t-shirt with some black shorts as the summer weather was still strong. It was plain, but comfortable enough for her to walk around with her date. She headed out for the subway and slowly made her way to the place they planned to meet. The tall student had many questions but the first question he asked Estelle was, “When did you fully come to realize that you loved me?” She smiled and replied, “The ocean.” 

Then I went to Busan with my family which was fun. Then I went skiing with some friends and it was fun and it was really tiring because I think my body was sick with Influenza. I just didn’t realize and went on the ski trip anyway. At first I was really scared to ski because I’ve never done it before but I went down the first hill and it was okay. It was just scary because I was going so fast. Yui was there and she was really good. Some people were stuck on the hill while other people were really good. I ended up falling a lot near the end. Then after the ski trip I got Influenza which wasn’t fun. I had a fever of 104 degrees and I had to go to the hospital for an IV treatment. Then I had to go on pills and I had to eat 12 pills a day. Each pill had a sleep induced powder thing in it so I was literally sleeping all day. 

I also went to Seoul with Liam. It was really fun and it was my first time going to Gangnam. There’s a lot of people and it was pretty cold but I thought it was fun. I went to new Cafes and stores and I even went to a PC room which was cool too. I also had a lot of sleepovers with Jeesu and Yui. Miyeon stayed in Seoul the whole winter break so we couldn’t see her but it’s okay. Jeesu and Yui stayed at my house and we played around until like 3 am. Then Yui and me stayed at Jeesu’s house and goofed around until 3 am. 

In conclusion, my winter break was pretty fun and I enjoyed sleeping all day and hanging out with my friends and boyfriend. It was fun but I’m glad to be back to school. Sleeping all day is not good for me and I was doing that everyday during the break. I was never going to break out of the sleep cycle if I didn’t go back to school. 

→ The Worst Party Guest: Describe the most awkward or embarrassing thing someone (real or fictional) could do at a party. 

• In chapter 2, we get to see Billy Pilgrim get drunk at a party, drive into a tree, and end up in a mental hospital. One time I was at a middle school party back in South Carolina and there was a trend going on with the girls where they would pants each other at school. I was so scared I would tie my pant strings extra tight. At that party this girl got pantsed in front of some teachers. I don’t think the teachers cared because they acted like nothing happened. 

• Vonnegut uses the phrase “so it goes” when a death is mentioned. This reflects Tralfamadorian philosophy because although that person is dead in that moment, that person is still alive in the other moments that exist. Vonnegut uses this view of death to shape the perspective of life and death in the novel. In the novel, death is simply that person dying in one moment for the Tralfamadorian view, they are well and alive in other moments so really, the novel shapes us to think that life and death may not be that important.

• One day I suddenly gained the superpower to control water. I can move it and control it anyway I want. It is really useful when I’m at the pool or the beach and it makes hangouts with my friends more fun. But it has an expected drawback, everytime I use this ability or even touch water, I turn into a sea pony. Because of this, I can never control as much as I would like too. This makes life complicated because I use this ability a lot in my life because I touch a lot of water in my life everyday. Because of this I have to drink water secretly outside of my school and home buildings so nobody sees me as a sea pony. It also makes showering really hard. I have to shower as a sea pony but there isn’t enough water for my sea pony body to float so I’m just laying there like a fish, washing myself. Even with all these life complications, I still use this ability when I can because it’s funny. 

Isolation and revenge are both deadly acts of self-destruction with severe consequences. In the novel, The Scarlet Letter, many characters in The Scarlet Letter faced the deadly effects of isolation because of their sins, but one character faced both isolation and revenge. Roger Chillingworth, the antagonist of the novel, has a different downfall than the rest of the characters. Although all the other characters had their own breakdown with their sin and guilt, Chillingworth goes far and beyond. The wrath of isolation fueled his evil while his obsessive revenge towards Dimmesdale ended him. His eventual end was regretful, cruel, and destined; destined because he had the thought of revenge even in the start of the novel. The book states, “It irks me, nevertheless, that the partner of her iniquity should not, at least, stand on the scaffold by her side.” (Hawthorne, 1850, p. 71) This quote shows Chillingworth being quite empathetic to Hester, but in reality, he is obsessed with uncovering the identity of Hester’s lover. 

Roger Chillingworth is one of the main characters in the novel The Scarlet Letter and is described as small and thin with deformed shoulders. After hearing about Hester and her romantic affair, he was blinded with rage. Although all the characters in the novel had their downfall, Chillingworth’s downfall is different from any other character because he was not only affected by the wrath of isolation, he was also affected by the wrath of revenge. In the novel, 

Chillingworth takes the role of a doctor or a “leech,” which is ironic as he is introduced as a smart scholar. In his case, instead of helping others, he drains others of energy and takes them away like a leech. He uses this role to further torment Dimmesdale. This tormenting soon grows into an obsession, leading Chillingworth towards an isolated life: living solely to torment Dimmesdale. The novel states, “He now dug into the poor clergyman’s heart, like a miner  searching for gold.” (Hawthorne, 1850, p. 155) This quote shows the audience that Chillingworth is using his knowledge to torture Dimmesdale. His knowledge is compared to that of a miner searching for gold, the gold being Dimmesdale. This augmented obsession of his soon leads to isolation, encompassing him completely. His addiction to revenge blocked out any source of life that could stop him. He was also blinded by his own emotions such as rage. Anger is blinding and leads you to all the wrong places. 

As his need for revenge grows, he only feeds off of the pain he inflicts on Dimmesdale. Revenge only fueled his isolation, consuming him and taking away his identity. Already, the novel shows the foreshadowing of Chillingworth’s failed revenge. He is constantly in a battle with himself, fighting for the identity that he lost long ago. He is no longer Roger Chillingworth inside, he has become an embodiment of his own revenge: a pool of hatred. The novel compares him to the “Black Man.” The “Black Man” symbolizes the devil and his messenger, Roger Chillingworth. Because he has no emotional or social connections to balance this hatred of his, he becomes focused on revenge. His only human connection was his abuse towards Dimmesdale. Just like anything, revenge can become an addiction. He starts to merge into the role as a “leech.” What was supposed to be tormenting others, became the torment on himself. Revenge starts to consume him and as he continues to torture Dimmesdale in hopes to feel something, anything. 

Being so isolated from Hester and the world, Chillingworth lost his sense of reality. He lost terms with the rest of the world and had nobody there to support him, he was only surrounded by his blind rage and grief. Isolation leads to alienation — the feeling of detachment from society, yourself, and others. Because Chillingworth’s isolation led to alienation, he filled that empty void with revenge and hatred. His resentment towards Dimmesdale only fueled the already dark hatred inside of him. This is dangerous because resentment is a direct driving force for the growth of vengeance. Revenge, in the end, never validates your own suffering. It instead creates isolation and takes their inner-self away. Instead of growing and learning new perspectives, revenge kills that and causes you to be in a deep sense of failure and trapping you into a cycle of hatred. Revenge never gave Chillingworth any satisfaction. The book states, “…A mortal man, with once a human heart, has become a fiend for his especial torment.” (Hawthorne, 1850, p. 208) This quote clearly explains how Chillingworth was once a mortal man, but he has changed for the worse. 

Regarding isolation, isolation also traps Chillingworth from the outside world. He hides his true identity from the townspeople and Hester and he fulfills himself by hurting others. His isolation is what helped foster this dark feeling of revenge, with nobody to check up on him or support him, his field of home became a place of corrupted sin. His sense of purpose completely left him and his only purpose was to torment Dimmesdale and get some sort of validation for the pain and anger he was feeling. He let anger control him and with nobody to check up on him, his  anger went rogue. His entire purpose in life was to take down Dimmesdale which created an unhealthy life cycle for him. His once compassion and empathy as a person vanished. Chillingworth’s physical appearance also started to deteriorate and revenge and isolation consumed him. As Hester grows brighter, Chillingworth grows darker, more grotesque. 

Roger Chillingworth’s revenge is also incredibly ironic. His revenge never gave him what he wanted, but took away what he wanted. What he wanted was vengeance for what Dimmesdale did to Hester, but when Dimmesdale confessed to his sins and passed away, Chillingworth had no subject for his torturing anymore. He no longer feels a sense of purpose in this world he created on his own: a world of hatred. He destroyed himself for absolutely no reason, the biggest regret a man can create for himself. This just shows how unfulfilling revenge truly is and how similar it is to an addiction. Not only does it fulfill you for only a short amount of time, but it slowly kills you while giving you short term satisfaction. Chillingworth was destined to fail from the start of the novel. Revenge, in my opinion, is the act of completely destroying yourself for the sole purpose of attempting to destroy someone else. Revenge is actually quite empty with a dark void.  “…a writhing horror twisted itself across his features… his face darkened with some powerful emotion, which, nevertheless, he so instantaneously controlled by an effort of his will.” 

6

(Hawthorne, 1850, p. 69) This quote shows readers that he was never in control of himself even from the start of the novel. 

Revenge started everything, it started his isolation and soon it ended him. Although Roger Chillingworth was introduced as a noble scholar, it was his choice to turn into the pool of sin he is now. His isolation and revenge is quite ironic as those were the reasons Chillingworth was destroyed. The very thing you use to induce yourself in short-term pleasurable sins, is the same thing that kills you in the end. Revenge never goes the way you wish it will go. Hawthorne is able to clearly illustrate the dark effects of sin and guilt along with the dangerous effects of revenge and isolation. He is able to show readers Chillingworth’s story and his failed revenge. His failed revenge along with his isolation is able to show readers how he was destroyed in the end. His obsessive revenge towards Dimmesdale takes away his identity, changing him. He lost his humanity and his strive for life. In the end, his revenge was for nothing. He ended up giving his life’s worth to Pearl, who is Hester’s daughter. Isolation and revenge contributed to Chillingworth’s eventual downfall, ending him. His own destruction was inevitable.  

During the last two quarters of school, I have completed lots of writing assignments. I feel like my writing is much better during these quarters because I really enjoyed the topics we were given for writing. Like I previously stated in my last reflection, if I like a topic, I tend to write much better. However, I do think I improved because even with topics I did not quite like, I tried to put my best effort into it. I also think my writing style is improving as the way goes and all my writings are still very organized. Other than organization, I also think my writing style has pretty much stayed the same with a few improvements. 

Besides my improvements, there are a few things that I could work on. For bell-ringers, I feel like I should try to work harder on those because sometimes I just summarize the thoughts in my brain about the bell-ringer instead of writing. Even though I write after, I think I should put more effort into the bell-ringers even though I do not like the topics. Just because I do not like something does not mean I should work less on it, I should remind myself of that. Grammar is also something that I could make time to improve on. When others annotate my paper, my main mistake is actually grammar mistakes. 

In conclusion, I feel like this was a very successful two quarters for me. I was able to write more and explore my writing style. While exploring I was also able to see what I need to improve on and things that may have stayed the same. 

Dear reader, 

I appreciate you reading and touching my covers and all of that, but I don’t like it when you dog-ear my pages. My pages are delicate and they should not be folded. My pages are actually really old as well because I have been passed on from generation to generation and I want to keep my pages clean and new so I can pass it on to the next generation as well. I am angry about this and I want you to stop right now or else I am going to self-deprecate my own pages so you can never read them ever again. Also you never finished me at all so I am very offended. If you start a book you should finish it instead of leaving it on your kitchen counter and never touching it again. Please finish me and stop folding me.

Despite being punished and isolated by institutional control, Hester chooses to resist this control. After committing adultery and being forced to wear the scarlet letter, her identity was changed for the worse, but because Hester resisted, she was able to redefine herself as a woman and regain her independence. Along with her ability to exercise free will, Hester also makes the bold statement of exercising her independence by making her own choices through her free will. Instead of the institutes such as society controlling what the scarlet letter on her chest meant, Hester made her own meaning for the letter, exercising her free will to resist. “Doth the universe lie within the compass of yonder town, which only a little while ago was but a leaf-strewn desert, as lonely as this around us?” (Hawthrone, 1850, p. 242) This quote shows Hester trying to convince Dimmesdale to leave society with her. This shows her resistive traits against institutional control. Hester demonstrates her use of free will by directly going against her Puritan society. She is able to reform herself despite the control put on her. In contrast, Billy Pilgrim uses his free will to fall into the endless cycle of fatalism. Despite being heavily controlled by the U.S government and military, he chooses to fall into the belief of fatalism which goes against the belief of free will. This leaves readers to question whether Billy truly escaped institutional control or not. “Billy looked at the clock on the gas stove. He had an hour to kill before the saucer came. He went into the living room, swinging the bottle like a dinner bell, turned on the television.” (Vonnegut, 1969, p. 47) This quote shows the illusion of free will that the author presents to readers. Vonnegut shows readers a more unique perspective of free will by showing how Billy uses his free will only to go into something that goes directly against it. Although The Scarlet Letter shows readers the concept of free will by Hester exercising resistance, Slaughterhouse-Five provides a different perspective towards free will with a more complex situation at hand, diving deeper into the rabbit hole of what free will truly is. 

In The Scarlet Letter, readers see Hester completely resist and change her identity with her own free will. The control and beliefs that her society has placed upon her is broken through her traits of resistance. Instead of running away and removing the scarlet letter from her chest, she reforms the letter and finds her own identity within the letter. To Hester, removing the scarlet letter would be giving into the control of society (SparkNotes: The Scarlet Letter: Themes. (2019). However, in Slaughterhouse-Five, Vonnegut suggests that free will is simply an illusion. Billy giving into fatalism gives readers a chance to have their own beliefs about free will. Does Billy giving into fatalism show that he does have free will or does he have no free will because he gave into fatalism? Because he chooses to believe the Tralfamadorian beliefs, that would showcase free will, but fatalism directly contradicts this. Here, Vonnegut sparks questions among readers about the true meaning of freedom. Billy has completely given up on the idea of free will. “He was told not to find out what the lumps were. He was advised to be content with knowing that they could work miracles for him, provided he did not insist on learning their nature. That was all right with Billy Pilgrim. He was grateful. He was glad.” (Vonnegut, 1969, p. 81) This quote shows how he has given up control and how he no longer feels the need to exercise his own free will which is ironic because Billy uses his free will in his scenario to prevent himself from exercising his own free will. Did Billy truly give into institutional control or does giving into fatalism mean he has chosen his own free will? 

Debating whether Billy truly has free will or not is a very complex topic that dives deeper into the topic of fate v.s free will. Free will is defined as acting on your own terms, so Billy accepting fatalism on his own terms would be free will but fatalism completely contradicts everything he believes. Fatalism is defined as the belief that everything is predetermined, basically saying that Billy was meant to take the action he did without thinking about it. Vonnegut shows the illusion of free will through Billy's beliefs of the Tralfamadorians’. As he starts to believe in them more, he sees a new side of free will. Even if Billy willingly worked hard for the war, he would die just like everybody else, showing how perhaps everything truly is predetermined. Does exercising free will mean we truly have free will? Or is it all just fatally flawed? In “Nietzsche on Fatalism and ‘Free Will’”, we understand the perspective of those who believe that free will does not exist. “Today we no longer have any pity for the concept of 'free will': we know only too well what it really is—the foulest of all theologians' artifices, aimed at making mankind 'responsible' in their sense, that is, dependent upon them.” (Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols) This quote is Nietzsche emphasizing how free will comes from institutional control. He states that the concept of free will was simply created to have control over individuals. (Solomon, Robert C. “Nietzsche on Fatalism and ‘Free Will.’” Journal of Nietzsche Studies, no. 23, 2002, pp. 63–87. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/20717781. Accessed 24 Mar. 2025.) Essentially, Billy does not have free will, but it is up to the readers to decide whether Billy has free will or if it was all just an illusion. 

Free will can be shown in various ways. Whether it is simple or complex, both novels are able to showcase the complexities behind free will and how institutional control plays a role as well. From these characters, readers are able to learn about the different ways free will can be exercised. Both novels are able to show how free will is limited through the means of institutional control through society, war, and government. It shows how powerful free will can be through Hester’s determination and resistance, but it also shows the complexity of free will by introducing the debate of whether Billy truly escaped institutional control or not. Free will v.s institutional control is still a very complex topic and raises many questions. Hester’s resistive traits may just be the surface of free will while Billy’s situation sheds a whole new light onto the topic. Do humans truly have free will or is it all just an illusion? Hester and Billy were both able to show how institutional control can affect us and just how complex free will is with their compelling stories.

My most recent dream was about going on a skiing trip with my friends. I was with all my friends and Liam but Liam died from an avalanche. One by one, each one of my friends keeps passing away. Liam from the avalanche, Jeesu from a falling incident (she fell off the ski lift), Yui died from trying to help Doyun ski because he really cannot ski so they both died, and Miyeon died because she didn’t wear the right clothes. So basically in my dream I’m left all alone. This is kind of a true dream, I made up some parts because I don’t remember too much. 

I think dreams come from our REM period. I learned this in psychology. Apparently all our dreams come from REM because our mind is the most active during REM so whatever you think about during REM it’s most likely going onto your dream. 

One instance when I procrastinated was when I procrastinated on my AP Biology assignments. I thought I finished all my work but actually I had like 20 assignments left. I did not do all my assignments in time and I had to ask my mom for an extension. I thought she would be okay with one extension because literally Jeesu’s mom bought her like 10 extensions but she crashed out on me 2 days straight. After my mom’s crashout, I never procrastinated anything ever again. 

The song Just by Radiohead becomes required reading in English class. I notice a few literary devices such as repetition, irony, and metaphors. Lyrics repeat multiple times and irony is present such as, “That’s what really hurts/You do it to yourself.” Metaphors are also present because one of the lyrics presents himself as a comet but he isn’t literally a comet. 

If I could randomly drop into any background of any book or movie, I would drop into My Little Pony. I would photobomb episode 150 because that’s when Twilight Sparkle explores an old library. I would photobomb the part where she starts exploring because I want to read pony books as well. I could randomly drop in as a side-character in the library just reading old pony books and maybe sneak along with Twilight Sparkle to read more books in the hidden places only alicorns can access because I’m probably not going to be an alicorn. 

Some of my strengths for writing are the fact that I am very organized. My outlines are very clear and organized with all my points having clear, concise meaning. All the outlines I have done this year have been very well organized and have helped me so much in writing all my essays and assignments. I am also very good at organizing my paragraphs and making sure the length of each paragraph fits well into the essay. Each paragraph has its own topic with its own points as well. Another one of my strengths is that I have a good flow in my writing. It doesn’t feel rushed or dragged on, it is a good pace. I also feel like my introduction and conclusion are written very well. My introduction has a hook that is able to catch the reader or it has a good introduction style. My conclusion is also good as it is able to wrap everything up in my writing. Overall, most of my strengths include my sense of organization and the fact that I am good at writing my outlines. I am also good at keeping a good pace in my writing and being able to write catching introductions and well-paced conclusions. 

However, I also have a lot of weaknesses in my writing. First, I need to work on my grammar. It has already improved due to my grammar work in class, but it still needs to be improved. My biggest mistake in writing is not using wrong grammar most of the time, but it is not writing my sentences in the best way possible. Another one of my weaknesses in writing is that sometimes I reuse certain points and words too often. When my friends grade my writing, the main thing they point out is that I have a lot of points and words that are repeated. Another one of my weaknesses is that my word choice is not as vivid as it could be. My word choice is decent but not enough. I think I should try to improve my word choice as well. Overall, my main weaknesses are grammar, repeating too many points and words, and having a decent word choice for my writing. 

With all this said, I want to try to improve over the summer. I usually read a lot during the summer which will most likely help me with my word choice. I usually read Russian Literature but I think I want to try reading books outside of that genre to help me expand my vocabulary as well. I also want to keep practicing grammar as it is important for my future as well. I will keep studying grammar and try my best to use it in my writings. Overall, this year in class has taught me a lot about my writing. It has taught me about my strengths and weaknesses and has helped me analyze my writing better.

Our brains are intricate parts of us that are still studied today. Research is still being done today about how our brains truly make decisions with our conscious and unconscious minds. Everyday the unconscious part of our brain is controlling us in every way we cannot see. The book The Hidden Brain by Shankar Vedantam is able to showcase the secrets of our brain and how it works. Reading this book has taught me just how complicated our brain is and it has made me aware of new things I never knew about my own brain. 

This book consists of 10 chapters. In this final book report, I will talk about the chapters that I think are the most important and significant which help readers understand what the hidden brain is without having to read all the chapters. Vedantam starts off with his concept of what the hidden brain is. He refers to the hidden brain as an unconscious part of our brain that influences every choice we make in our life. He makes the claim that the conscious mind does not do as much as what the unconscious mind does. Starting in chapter 1, Vedantam talks about the case of Toni Gustus. She had just moved to Massachusetts from Iowa. While she was on her patio, a man started to walk towards her. As he walked closer, she felt a sense of danger. He grabbed her and started strangling her with a headphone cord. The man had raped Toni. There was no time to waste, Toni started memorizing the man’s face and went to the police station. The police registered a rape kit on her asked Toni to tell them everything she knew. 

The suspect list had started, the police started to pick up a few men that had matched Toni’s description of the man. Finally Toni made a match with one of the suspects. She later learned that the man’s name was Eric Sarsfield. Toni told the police that she was “95% percent sure that the man in custody was the rapist.” (p.11) Turns out, the man she thought was her rapist, was indeed not her rapist. 14 years later, once Toni had married and settled down, new evidence had risen from her case, new DNA evidence that shows that Eric was not the rapist. Toni was dreaded, it took her some time to think about but she finally decided to meet Eric and discuss things. When she met him that’s when she realized something about Eric’s teeth, it was straight, the rapist’s teeth were crooked. 

Vedantam showed us Toni’s case as one of the prime examples of our hidden brain. Toni did not make the mistake of accusing Eric out of hatred or malice, it was her mind that had made that mistake. The mistake the police made was showing Toni multiple pictures of the suspects they had found, which actually weakened her memory of the actual rapist’s face. She was doubtful when accusing Eric but when having such doubts, she soothed it away. The book states, “the one physical feature that could have distinguished the rapist from Sarsfield–his teeth–was discarded not because it was hidden from view but because it was too ordinary to mention.” This chapter shows us the basics of the hidden brain which is why it is so important. The next chapter I will be discussing in my final book report is the last chapter. These two chapters, I feel like, help readers summarize and grasp the true meaning of what the hidden brain truly is. 

Chapter 9 is all about our unconscious mind in the realm of politics and race. This chapter goes through a few important points. First, it discusses how the unconscious mind decides things for us even when we don't want it to. In our body we have automatic thoughts and assumptions that are input into us. These thoughts input into us are what influence our decisions on everything such as voting. This can lead to us choosing certain choices that align with our unconscious minds. This chapter also talks about how certain political campaigns use subtle strategies to mess with our minds. These small, subtle messages can activate our unconscious without us knowing. 

In conclusion, I think these two chapters sum up the message of what the hidden brain is the most. Although other chapters talked about other influences of the hidden brain in our daily lives, the introduction and the last chapter talking about politics and race is the most important because it is one of the biggest issues in our lives. Politics is everywhere in our lives especially with what is happening around the world. It is important to know what the government and society does to activate the hidden brain inside of our minds. Our unconscious mind is more powerful than we think it is.

Unlike many students who discover their passions at an early age, my obsession started at a much later age. This obsession was also not natural and came from my own decision. Starting in high school, I was not the brightest math student, but I tried to fit and compete with the others in my class. My desire to become a better math student soon turned into a healthy obsession of studying hours on end and learning not just “how” in math but also “why” certain formulas and shapes happen and solve the way they do. 

This continued in sophomore year as I continued to obsessively study the intricate subject with all the time I had left to spare. I would listen to math videos as I ate dinner, solve countless equations while listening to my new favorite album and even resolve equations during my orchestra practices. My obsession to get better at math soon became a hobby of mine as I would do math problems in my free-time simply because it turned out to be such a fun hobby. Learning about the universe’s core language became heartfelt times of algebra 2 books, precalculus worksheets and various equations. 

In my junior year of high school, my math facade did not fade; in fact, it got brighter. Besides my obsession with math, my persistent nature had increased as well. During this year of high school, I started to think about why I loved such a hard subject that had brought me many hardships in my life. I came to believe that it was because math gave me a different perspective on life and changed my thoughts about my passion for learning. My passion for such an unexpected subject grew. 

The more I study math, the more I realize that it is everywhere. We are living beings that support the structure of this Earth with mathematics; we are connected through math. Being able to learn such a diverse subject has helped me throughout life. Math has helped me with my interest in robotics, coding, and even puzzle building. I enjoy the challenge of figuring out my own mistakes and feeling eureka moments. When I need help, I turn to sources such as my laptop or teachers. Math will always keep changing, and so will I.  

I chose the book “The Hidden Brain” by Shankar Vadantam. I chose this book because my mother told me I should read this book and I should listen to my mother. I also chose this book because I’m interested in the human brain. 

So I have learned a few things about our brain: 

1. The Bias of our Brain 

2. The Hidden Prejudices of our Brain

The book introduces us by talking about how we always have some sort of bias in our brain. This hidden bias in our brain influences the choices we make in our life without us knowing. The book emphasizes that much of what we believe in is actually shaped by the hidden bias and thoughts in our mind. An example of this would be any kind of life threatening situation. Many people show their hidden traits in situations like this such as blindly following others simply because a lot of people are going a certain way. Without them knowing consciously, their choices are influenced by their own mind. This is basic yet something everyone falls into, not even doctors, police, or emergency responders can avoid this hidden influence in their brain. 

The next topic I learned in this book is about the hidden prejudices in our brain. The book argues that even people who have good intentions towards others have hidden prejudices against others. The author is able to show this through the Implicit Association Test (IAT). With this test, participants are asked to pair certain things together such as words and images. Participants would subconsciously pair “white” with “good” and so on. They were racist without realizing and this shows how we have hidden prejudices in our brain. This is constantly shown in real life as well with job hirings, law enforcement, and medical situations. People tend to show bias and prejudice to others without even realizing it. No matter how much someone believes in equality, prejudice will always be present inside their hidden brain. 

I choose this book because I am highly interested in the human mind and why we make the choices we do. For a very long time I have been thinking about the conscious and unconscious parts of our body and this book explains these concepts quite well. The first chapter actually shocked me a lot. This first chapter talked about how a woman was raped and her journey to identify her rapist. She went to court, was presented photos of different men that could possibly be her rapist, and when she finally identified him, she had a small piece of doubt whether it was actually him or not. She ignored this doubt and took that man to prison. 14 years later, it turns out that the man she thought was her rapist, was not her rapist at all. So why is this case being mentioned or even talked about? This is what our brain does without us knowing. 

As I read more, the book started telling me more about the things we aren’t consciously aware of. Like as you’re reading this, I bet you aren't consciously translating these words into your mind, it’s just happening. It’s confusing, I know. But basically the book is talking about how we make these choices without knowing. We panic without choosing to, we feel certain things without choosing too. So far, this book is really interesting. I am hooked because this book explains a lot about humans and it tells us how we make choices. With the example with the rape case, the police showing the woman a few photos of the possible suspect actually messed up with her brain to actually find the right person. Since the first chapter just introduced the premises of this book, I do not have too much to say now but I am excited for the next chapter. 

Upon reading the next chapter I’m learning even more about the human brain and how it works. It’s really interesting because it gives me the feeling of awareness. I know I have a brain but sometimes I get the awareness that I have a living organ in my head controlling everything I do. This chapter showed me a lot about how we perceive certain things. This section started off with an experiment. Someone would be giving out free materials but they are given a warning to pay. Whenever an image of a flower or something pretty is shown on the warning, people tend to pay less attention and not pay. When that image changed to a pair of eyes, the tendency to pay later increased highly. And what was interesting was that people did not notice the images of flowers even changing. Our attention only focuses on what we choose to focus on. 

In conclusion, this book triggers my thinking a lot because it makes me more aware of what my brain truly does. It makes me realize that there are so many components of your brain that we cannot control. The title is truly very accurate because there are a lot of hidden components in our brain. The next chapter talks about the brain in a more deep sense including topics of math and science.

The same goes with my very own middle and high school mathematics classes. The other subjects may have breezed through my brain, but math was persistent at keeping me at my low. In middle school, securing good grades for math was almost impossible for me to achieve. With no English speakers in my home at the moment and no friends at my new school, I only had the internet and myself to learn algebra and the square roots of 9, 25, and 36. As I entered high school math started to become easier. No matter how many struggles math put me through, I pushed through it, solving every problem given to me, every test handed back to me, and every worksheet needed to be done. 

High school, however, was a complete turning point: giving up was not a choice. In freshman year of high school, my math teacher made me aware of something I didn’t know I had; the potential and grit to be a great mathematician. At first I laughed at such a statement, I didn’t want to be a mathematician and anything close to math in the future. In my sophomore year of high school, my new math teacher told me the same exact statement saying I would grow to love math and that I had the potential and persistence to be able to succeed in this subject. During this time, I truly started to think about what math has done to me as a person. 

Fast forward to junior year of high school, my persistence had finally paid off with my very own math teacher saying the same words she had said the previous years, “You would be a great mathematician. You will grow to love math.” This accomplishment was only possible due to my own persistence and perseverance towards the subject. I had more nights reviewing my failures than celebrating my successes, yet all my failures have led me to where I am today. My persistent personality has made me a disciplined individual who loves learning mathematics and the challenges that come with it.