Finding Peace with Emotions in Ecology - Sept 2025 by

2025-09-06 16:46:53 UTC

In therapy as an adult.... my household growing up did not showcase positive ways of expressing strong emotions so the takeaway I learned from that was 'suppress showing strong emotions if you want to be taken seriously'

2025-09-06 16:47:00 UTC

A teacher when I was in middle school around the time that 9/11 happened and other students and teachers were being absolutely malicious to myself and another muslim student, reminded both of us that expressing strong emotions and not letting those emotions build up was important. My mom and the women in my family also expressed very strong emotions but it was often met with push back of being too much or needing to calm down.

2025-09-06 16:47:05 UTC

Anger is discouraged in a lot of spaces!

2025-09-06 16:47:12 UTC

I don't remember exactly how I learned to express strong emotions as a child, just that I needed to be loud, firm, and make a display out of the emotion to be seen and let others know I was serious.

2025-09-06 16:47:13 UTC

I cannot remember learning this per se - I just remember feeling it was ok to express emotions when I was growing up... but it seems harder as an adult/in adult spaces. It is not expected as with children..

2025-09-06 16:47:22 UTC

honestly still learning...

2025-09-06 16:47:37 UTC

emotions of sadness or anger felt unwelcome, i perceived feeling these as being in the way of adults/others.

2025-09-06 16:48:04 UTC

people get scared or uncomfortable when you cry and i'm a big crier for better or worse

2025-09-06 16:48:06 UTC

not specifically - as a child I expressed strong emotions naturally but that became more difficult as I got older. After some therapy and becoming more sure of myself, I felt more validated in expressing emotions

2025-09-06 16:48:52 UTC

strong emotions of anger/frustration/sadness i feel like i was told to go away and be alone to experience. so it was not ok. strong emotions of happiness were tolerated and celebrated sometimes.

2025-09-06 16:49:10 UTC

When I worked in housing/shelter spaces I felt like I could get away with some 'righteous anger' at the systems that created the issues we were seeing, but that no longer feels true in the environmental space. any version of hopelessness/ distress seems to always be tucked away without addressing the root of it

2025-09-06 16:49:32 UTC

I'd say emotions rooted in "selfishness" (like in a tantrum) were discouraged. Then again, can't recall seeing my parents cry much at all, so maybe that is a sign that strong emotions on the sadness and anger side were trickier to express

2025-09-06 16:49:44 UTC

I was a big cryer as an infant and even through to elementary had poor speech precision, and would usually meltdown because people couldn't understand what I was saying. It was more a learning of how not to express strong emotions over my childhood because those emotions were disruptive or over the top or even selfish (or at least might appear as such because even after I got over my speech impediments having the right LANGUAGE to say what I'm feeling was so alien to me). So I felt a lot internally and I was always trying to prevent it from bursting out.

Even now expressing those feelings at the right times is a struggle. I don't want to be taken unseriously.

2025-09-06 16:49:52 UTC

I found, even now, my anger or deep empathy when expressing things that are happening has often been met with eye rolls or being told to calm down. I work in the DEI space, and specifically with sexual harassment. And then number of meetings that I sit in urging others to take some sort of action and accountability is always met with push back when I'm "too passionate". I'm not sure how to recon with that, and I still haven't learned how to. I found that "sweet innocent or naive" emotions are met more kindly, but it's not something I feel I have the capacity to do. So I often have had to turn to male colleagues and say "you say this and say it with passion and maybe someone will listen".

alexnovarro — 2025-09-06 16:50:14 UTC

In therapy as an adult + still learning. Growing up gay, then trans I mostly associated my own feelings with shame and negative consequences. So it's an ongoing process to reshape the way I process my emotions internally and how I express them externally.

2025-09-06 16:50:53 UTC

Meltdown, tears, anger, frustration, grief, pain not very welcome.

Quiet joy was more welcome. But in my family also strugglling to talk over each other, enthusiastic joy was -- at least at home. Not in school or church bc that's disruptive.

2025-09-06 16:50:54 UTC

I feel like blunt honesty of feelings or opinions are not welcomed. The constant need to "sugar coat" or look on the bright side makes emotions like fear/anger/grief feel unwelcome. And along those lines the need for evidence instead of validating a feeling or experience as is. Fear/ anger/ grief are not welcomed in my experience in professional spaces as well as some familial spaces regarding the state of the world/ environment.

2025-09-06 16:51:13 UTC

At work I find that we're able to talk about despair and anger at the climate crisis, but heaven forbid that impacts our productivity as an org. There's no room to actually feel things, just to lightly talk about them?

2025-09-06 16:51:24 UTC

after therapy and growing older i have learned: physical exercise or expression is a good tool to dissipate flaring rage/anxiety and make sense of it, also journaling, breathing and yoga, eating enough food.

2025-09-06 16:51:26 UTC

as a child, excitement and happiness were acceptable (to a limit), but not deeper emotions. As an adult, sadness, or crying, is sometimes startling for people, even friends, and it's embarassing for me to cry in front of people

2025-09-06 16:51:46 UTC

Not an emotion.. but I've found that setting strong personal boundaries in the environmental space often surprises people and can be frowned upon.

2025-09-06 16:54:49 UTC

In grad school, I felt optimism was frowned upon. In my current role being a "visionary" and an optimist is the only way to be celebrated and rewarded.

alexnovarro — 2025-09-06 17:14:44 UTC

Re-learning how to express strong emotions as I support my toddler in learning about her own emotions!