https://padlet.com/26cfynes/xnb7lueg8mn Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2019-12-05 15:53:08 UTC 2020-12-23 14:04:41 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f3c8.png 26vslack https://padlet.com/26cfynes/xnb7lueg8mn/wish/421635108 I like how you open the story with the football QB calling hike. I also like how you just go straight into the action. Great start dude. One Wish I have though is how you didn't really introduce the characters.]]> 2019-12-09 15:08:45 UTC https://padlet.com/26cfynes/xnb7lueg8mn/wish/421635108 26ltelesca https://padlet.com/26cfynes/xnb7lueg8mn/wish/421659093 I love the way you spaced out your website! It looks really cool. I like the way that you did football images as a background on your website and your story has to do with football. The colors collaborate and go well together, I really like the way you mixed the images! I like the way the story goes and how Brady is mad and learns from Nick and turns into a nice kid. I also like that the story all goes together and makes sense and I know what im reading when it comes to the end. A spot that needs some improvement is the part when Brady gets hurt. When he is in the hospital you could add more information because it is a very important scene but it is kind of short.]]> 2019-12-09 15:41:49 UTC https://padlet.com/26cfynes/xnb7lueg8mn/wish/421659093 26ltelesca https://padlet.com/26cfynes/xnb7lueg8mn/wish/421666604  I love the way you started your story! It has very detailed parts and has a good picture in my head. It definitely has to do with the story and that is very good. I remember that I suggested to use some show not tell and sensory details and you did, very well. One suggestion I have though is to include details for the setting and include the setting more.]]> 2019-12-09 15:52:49 UTC https://padlet.com/26cfynes/xnb7lueg8mn/wish/421666604 26jleske https://padlet.com/26cfynes/xnb7lueg8mn/wish/421822594 One thing I thought you did well was transitioning from the game to the hospital. Another thing I think you did well on was using descriptive language like “The D-line all burst through the O-line like a pack of wild dogs ready to hunt for pray.” I wish that you would’ve checked over your story one more time because there were some errors. ]]> 2019-12-09 19:36:16 UTC https://padlet.com/26cfynes/xnb7lueg8mn/wish/421822594 26tdowling1 https://padlet.com/26cfynes/xnb7lueg8mn/wish/422198415 I liked how you talked when Brady was getting mad at everyone including hi coach and his parents. I also like when you talked about when Nick came into the room and started saying to Brady that he was there to make sure that he was OK. I wish that you would expand the sentences more and make the more descriptive]]> 2019-12-10 15:09:58 UTC https://padlet.com/26cfynes/xnb7lueg8mn/wish/422198415 26jmurphy https://padlet.com/26cfynes/xnb7lueg8mn/wish/422201558 I like your story You have lots of details and the right amount of dialogue. Also when you talk about the coach's rage and your rage you really explain how they feel. Over all the story was great, but there was a mistake I found you said “ Coach never reacts like that when I stay that stuff”. I still don't know if you meant to write say instead of stay but it is fine. 

]]> 2019-12-10 15:14:25 UTC https://padlet.com/26cfynes/xnb7lueg8mn/wish/422201558 26bkgordon https://padlet.com/26cfynes/xnb7lueg8mn/wish/422349534 So for my first star as I started reading right away I loved your beginning of your story when you put what they do in football I haven’t seen that before so I thought it was a nice piece to start with. I also noticed that you described what your main character was thinking and feeling and I have to say I  loved that it was a very detailed description. I really did like how you described how Brady was feeling when Nick was being mean to him, It was easy for me to picture exactly what happened. Also when I read other peoples stories they never really put dialogue in their stories, and didn’t put spaces between there dialogue so that's really good when you did that!

]]> 2019-12-10 18:41:49 UTC https://padlet.com/26cfynes/xnb7lueg8mn/wish/422349534 26fnanton https://padlet.com/26cfynes/xnb7lueg8mn/wish/422539170 The strength of the story The Positive Injury is how you made a great bond with the new kid Nick when he inspired you to be correct and not be out of line and greatly disrespect others who care for you. People will be mean to you but when you put out the flames of rage you will know what I is like to be nice to others who get bullied. In addition to the strength I like how you made it in what where you can have multiple people to look up to no matter what they are because popularity is just to try to act cool but underneath all that arrogance are your true colors. However a suggestion that I have is that you had many grammatical errors next time check over your story many times line-by-line I have done it before and trust me it works

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