Q: Mi name is Jhon, I have a 23-year-old daughter. Her mother and I split up when she was seven due to her mother’s infidelity. I still see my daughter regularly and she is close to my wife and the two other children we have. My daughter didn’t have a “proper” boyfriend until she was in her late teens. Last week I was informed that her new boyfriend is a little older than her. It transpires he’s 48! He also has a wife and two children who he is preparing to leave to be with my daughter. I am, in equal measures, furious, horrified, embarrassed, ashamed and desperate. This new boyfriend is older than my wife, who is 46. I am 55. My daughter wants me to meet this man, but I am too shocked and angry that a man of his age and with his responsibilities could behave in this manner. How should I handle this? I am too embarrassed to talk to my friends about it. 

 

Dear Jhon, I understand you are worried about your daughter, mine is 16 years old and I also would like to protect her or give her advice always. But we as fathers must let them have their privacy, personal space and make decisions. An advice or opinion will be always welcomed by them, we are their fathers and they appreciate that we love them and guide them, but don’t try to make your daughter walk the way you want, that could end with her taking distance from you as you don’t see well her relationship. On the contrary, you can stay near to her and see if this “new” guy is really worth of your princess.  

Also you should try to talk this with her as a family since she will always have a father and a mother, so consider making a reunion to gently talk about it. Remember Jhon that your daughter have a heart and sooner or later she might fall in love, and the heart don’t recognize age, race and some cases, gender.

 

A greeting attentive, in my opinion the first thing you should do is leave behind your family history, what others have been does not have to hurt you or affect you, remember that every human being is unique and unrepeatable, and you can be very different!

On the other hand you must relate to women, without fears or taboos, do not think that by making friends you hurt, on the contrary have social life opens different doors, enlarges your personality, we are also in a world where we need the other by our human condition, that if you must be careful, well as you fear to hurt or hurt, you can get hurt.

Live, enjoy and know before you give your heart, select and choose who really deserves it and likewise give all of you to change the story, so that you demonstrate the value you have, you must prove to yourself the great man you are and you can change the legacy left to you ...