You May Never read this...but these are the thoughts, the feelings--at this point, the 'me'--I hope you still love. To My Dear Friend by Espooranza

Because the other padlet was cluttered..

PooPooKachoo — 2014-09-22 12:46:25 UTC

Started this one. Today was opposite day for me. Wanted what I usually didn't like, e.g. chocolate yogurt. I was the NOTICEABLY moody, piteous infant. I usually don't really care if things don't go according to plan, but I was really hoping to have some fun (and since it was opposite day, I wished to see you against my better judgment). Well..i did have a nice time though. Went yogurtland and got some chocolate yogurt. Yeah, didn't turn out so well since my throat started itching and feeling sticky. EEEKK. But I was able to speak with my family and have some really needed family time. My brother was having these issues once again..sigh. And of course, my parents and he talked and they told me and celinerz to listen up since we would have our relationships IN THE FUTURE. And I thought, oh boy, I don't think that'd happen for me. Especially with the way I've seen things happen to other people. but oh well, I did listen.

But they were things I already knew like, MOST IMPORTANTLY: balance in a relationship!!!!

And also, we, women, are strange and wonderful creatures that deserve plenty of patience and understanding. We're complex.

Me, times a 100. I can be so simple at times, like one o' the bros who you could fart on, buuut I guess that's what makes me even more dangerous. i'm atypical. I'm not a day of tropical rain and thunder like most girls, howling and crying..I am a silent maelstrom. A quake beneath the surface, before the waves reach ten stories high and all you can do is RUN for your life and all things precious.

Darn. So far, even as friends, you've taken quite great care of me. Or do you secretly loathe me?? hm??

Any how, the grass is greener on your side. I like going barefoot on nice grass, it tickles my toes and makes me happy.

Guess what song is playing? I'll link it below

THE TIDES HAVE TURNED..or maybe I've been swimming to you all along..

PooPooKachoo — 2014-10-10 12:45:24 UTC

Oct. 10, 2014 FRIDAY

Hey buddy,

The past week has been very awkward for me lately, and all because of you.

I don't even know where to start. I've already admitted, here, about the emotional attraction and attachment that has been established (but you don't know that yet, when will you? when can you?) but lately, something happened.

I try now, to avoid sitting behind you because my hands become sweaty, my heart beats faster, my head feels like a balloon about to burst, and my face feels hot and flushed.

YEAH. I KNOW..

it's just that i see you and..this is really embarrassing.

I've begun to imagine you??? and day dreaming? and i literally shake my head to stop myself from getting carried away.

WHYYY? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????

This is so new and weird. it's been so long, buddy. what are you doing to me?

I guess it's physical attraction, your eyes.

YOUR EYES.

I have to stop now because i told myself i wouldn't carry on with this. I'm only setting myself up for even more pain.

AGH. Either way, I'll miss you all the same. and You will, too I suppose--whether you know how i feel or not. We cannot avoid what has happened.

I wish I could hate you for this, but that is infantile and furthermore, the antithesis of the truth: I would like to feel everything just for you--even pain. But you won't know that now, okay?

just have faith in God and maybe a little in me? keep hoping for me. okay? :)

I do the same for you, buddy.

PooPooKachoo — 2014-11-05 07:41:26 UTC

losing sleep..