Who am I?

I am intelligent and resilient. Beautiful inside and out. I am a black woman. I am a mother, pet mom, sister, friend and girlfriend. I am a granddaughter activist and mentor. I am a facilitator, student, rapper, comedian/ entertainer and actor.

Who do I Pretend to be?

I pretend to be someone who needs no one. (Everybody needs a support system.)

Who do people think I am?

People think I am strong, and I go get what I want in life. They also might think I'm hard and kinda of an hot head. I have been through a lot and I tend to turn bad situations into blessings and life lessons which has made me resilient. I have been hard as a defense mechanism to keep myself safe. However I have been learning to soften up and use emotional intelligence.

Who do I wish I could be?

I wish I could be more consistent and disciplined. Because of my upbringing, discipline and consistency has never been my strong suite. I am currently unlearning these behaviors and opening myself up to new things.

How has your race played a role in any of these responses?

Being a black woman growing up in America without a support system has definitely made me a no nonsense self suffiecient individual. I have learned that people don't care about your short comings or what you have been through, especially for a black man or woman. People expect me to be black angry women stereotype so I have to work on myself to constantly prove them wrong.

What is your first experience with race.

When I was in a group home, my staff took me to school (which was in South Pasadena) to enroll. The the lady that filled out my application at the school (who was a white woman) told me she didn't see my race in the list of races so she was going to mark down that I was white instead of black (this was a predominantly white school. My staff who was also a black woman stayed silent, so I spoke up for myself. I told her " you're not going to check white because I'm not white. Im black." She laughed nervously and said " oh here, look here is black right here" as she checked the correct box.

How old where you?

I was 15 years old in the 9th grade.

What feeling do you associate with this experience?

I associated anger and frustration with this memory.

Have you ever talked about this experience?

I have talked about this experience with youth I have worked with when I am teaching them why it is important to advocate for yourself.

How has your early experiences with race shaped your worldview.

It has showed me that we live in a time where racsim is not always loud and proud. It is more often than not very subtle and passive. It has showed me you HAVE to be knowledgeable in your history and speak up for yourself. Otherwise people will treat you any type of way they want to.

The type of racism that I have seen in the world from slide two is institutional racism. The reason I believe this is because I have seen that there is a systematic oppression put in place in the communities I have lived in because I have been part of the working lower class for a while. This is shown in the education our children get, the resources we do or don't have access too, as well as the justice system impacting more black families then white. This is the reason I pick structural racism from slide 3 as well.

I do not believe we live in a post race society because we as black and brown people still suffer from racial oppression till this day. An example of this is the police racial profiling our people sending innocent people to jail for crimes they haven't committed. Another example of this would be black people getting shot by the police because a cop mistaken a kids phone for a gun.

My personal definition of race is your physical appearance and your cultural background. I do believe that race is social constructed created by the main people who make all the rules. Like in the video, when the word race started to circulate, African Americans were still slaves and wasn't considered human. The first race in American we were considered was Negro, which was given to us not what we called or named ourselves. Therefore it was something constructed socially.

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/race-is-a-social-construct-scientists-argue/

this read is important because it is important to understand that we are all human and are equal in that sense. I agree the race is a social construct to keep certain groups oppressed.

The thing that stood out the most to me in this unit is Police Violence against African American Men. This is important to me because this dates back to the 1800s and chattel slavery. The main focus in to keep the black families divided and stuck in oppression. How do you divide the black family? You take away the head of the house hold and leave the women to have to support the family on there own. Whether the police is killing the men, or throwing them in jail, it disconnects and breaks the black family.

Theme Two: Racial Microagressions podcast

1. I can identify with sexual orientaion. When I was a teenager I identified as gay at one point in time. Repeatedly I have heard that "I am so pretty to be gay" or "what a waste". The racesim that I heard in the clip had to do with the Asian woman saying that because she had a thin appearance, it was because of her race that she was thin.

2. I do not believe we live in post racial society because people are still being denied loans because the color of their skin. Which is a form of systemic institutional rasicm.

3. I believe race is considered you physical appearance and cultural practices. I believe its a social construct because its used to oppress people. You might get denied a interview with a company if you are of a certain race and the person scanning applications for interview is racist towards your race.

4. https://tibbs.unc.edu/community/cldp/writing-about-race/

   this link is important because it explains that race cant be a biological because there is no test to determin someones race there for it has to be something socially constructed.

5. One thing I learned is that some people don't know when they being racist or throwing out microagressions which is interesting because that means it's subconscious and it's passive racism that probably embeded in their cultural foundation.

What I think makes the black family unique is the resilience of the black family. Since chattel slavery days, there has been a systematic system put in place to keep the black family divided and oppressed. Whether it be the father being killed or incarcerated or one of the parents getting hooked on narcotic drugs, it has been destructive of the black family but families have still learned ways to survive and thrive. Example being a black single mom going to school for a better job while simultaneously working and providing for her child because her husband was killed by the police. The child still growing up with values that help them in upward social mobility.

I think the strenghths and challenges of the black community are many. To name one of each would be a strength of kinship care, and a challenge the foster care system. Our strength being kinship is because we have a saying in the black religious community that it takes a village to raise a child. This is something I have heard when someone is having a child. This speaks to the way we make people in our community family even if they are not related by blood. Example being personally for me, since my mother is deceased and my father is in a nursing home, I have appointed people who are not my blood, but have taken on the responsibility of grandparents to my child so my child doesn't lack experiences that he would otherwise lack if I was just focused on relatives related by blood. The foster care system is a challenge because the black child is statistically more likely to be put in the foster care system unecessarily or by repeated learned behaviors by the parent from their parent. An example of this would be a parenting disiplining there child physically because it has been passed down by generations. Then the child being removed from the home for child abuse.

Concepts such as racial socilization affect the black home in many ways because we have to prepare our children for discrimination and racism that other children of other races do not have to go through. This prepatrates a cycle of anxienty for both the parent and child. An example being the talk the parents have with their black son about wearing hoodies and interacting with the police because there has been so many cases of racial profiling when in comes to black boys in their youth.

I think that generational unhealed trauma that is passed down has impacted the black community along with being disconnected from their history. I think not knowing our history keeps us in the cycle of repeating unhealthy habits that where learned and passed down from generation to generation. An example of this being beating your child to keep them in line and to teach them how to act in public. Coming from slavery where beatings was a way that the slave owners kept the slaves in line.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11499371/

One this is important because it not only touches racial stress and its impact on the black family, but it talks about positive intervention and resources that can be implemented to counter the stress and provide a community to black families an outlet. Two being that most of the stress that black people endure has to to do with racism and discrimination. Three the connection to African American's health directly being linked to the stress of oppression and racial injustice from childhood and throughout our lives.

What stood out most to me in this reading is transratial adoption which is a term I never heard of before the reading. I understood the concept however I wasn't familiar with the vocabulary. This stood out to me because as an adult, I thought that it would be hard for a black child to grow up in a white household and learn the values and culture of the black community from white parents. It interesting what social and psychological effect it can have on the child and over all well being.

I think there are many factors that influence why there are not more Africaan American's in the STEM programs. One being African American in lower status neighborhoods do no have the same funding as more privalleged communities so the children don't have access to the same classes in high school. Another is, some African American children are not motivated because of lack of patience and motivation of the teachers to encourage and provide them with the resources they need to thrive.

The teachers play sometimes the biggest role in getting there children to enroll in STEM classes. If the teacher puts a child down, or doesn't understand that some children learn differently and provide patience, it could change the trajectory of that childs life for the worst. Your teacher can also influence if you and push you in a healthy way. They can motivate you, and it could shape your self esteem in education as a child/ teen.

It makes them second guess themself when children deal with implicit bias in educators and micro aggressions in school. This also creates anxiety and can shape the way the see themselves in the world.

African American Children are shaped from a young age to think that they are less than or less intelligent because of the color of their skin or there social status. Dealing with implicit bias in educators can shape them into adulthood. Making the young adult use to having to prove themself and working harder for the same respect or just giving up on the education system and work field all together. Educating themselves along with making there own path to accumulate money.

Employ more motivated black teachers to teach black children. As well as put more resources in the schools so the teachers have what they need to effectively teach and motivate the students to want to learn.

What I learned from this unit is the vocabulary of implicit bias. This vocabulary is important for me to be able to communicate my or others experience when dealing with the education system. Also understanding how this can shape someone view of themself if they are not yest self aware.

Mental health problems such as PTSD, anxiety, depression and imposter syndrome are some of the psychological consequences of experiencing subconscious racial slights as a person of color.

That black men are hypersexual or they don't take care of there kids. Black women are lazy and angry.

That as black people we are unintelligent and if we are we are the exception .

Being black and women you will deal with sexism and rasicm. If your poor and black, you will deal with rasicm, oppression, and exploitation. If your gay and black, you can deal with racism, prejudice and homophobia.

Dealing with so much hate and discrimination regularly can damage ones self esteem and overall sense of self. One will/can start believing what they are told repeatdly which can lead to depression and self distruction.

https://www.justice.gov/d9/fieldable-panel-panes/basic-panes/attachments/2021/09/29/understanding_bias_content.pdf This doesn't just touch on implicit vs explicit bias, but also touches on why some officers might have implicit bias.

Simply asking more mind provoking questions like "what made you say that?" or in a way they holds a gentle mirror so they can understand they might be operating from an implicit bias standpoint.

I learned about quiet bias which is an unconscious bias that uses your subconscious to react in certain situations. Example being how police officers are more likely to shoot a black suspect before they shoot a white one.

Strengths: A strength of the black community is resilience. Because alot of the proverty that black people face was systematically designed, and there are many who learn how to adapt and still achieve upward mobility be reframing there mind and changing their circumstance. From slavery until the present time, we have learned how to survive.

Weakness: A weakness that some black communities we face is lack of resources, like affordable mental health resources, or classes to educate and support parents and other community members. A solution to this would be more of the community voting to change laws that would benefit them and their community. As well as more marketing of the nonprofits made to support black families. How are you gonna benefit from resources if you are not aware they exist in your community.

Opportunities: One way black neighborhoods can play a role in the progressive movement is encouraging one another. Especially when you see one in your community down on their luck. Two is more free healthy food give aways giving people in the community access to healthy food and possibly other resources. Third would be more resources for affordable child care and other recreational opportunities to give youth an opportunity to thrive, learn, and stay out of trouble.

Threats: Gentrification can have negative effects on the Black community if the rent is increased and the people in that neighborhood can no longer afford to live there, therefore moving them out. High crime rate can hurt the Black community making the mental health of the people living in these communities decline due to lack of trust and feeling safe. Also a bad relationship between the community and law enforcement can effect the community in a bad way. Police brutality and racial profiling of the people in the community can cause tension, mistrust, and an over an unsafe environment for the people in it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mqrhn8khGLM&t=633s

This YouTube video explains the racial wealth gap and events that impacted black communities finacially.

I learned about redling and how it was used to segregate naighborhoods and keep black people in lower income neighborhoods.

What was interesting from this unit was that when talking about about numbers, there are nowdays more educated black women then black men. Women are more likley to be focused on school then building a family and tend to wait later. Educated black men are more likely to date outside their race which leaves a limted supply of marigable black men because there is a big percentage of black women that prefer black men for marriage. How women are willing to date outside their education and men are more willing to date outside their race. There are some women in my life who are in their late thirties or early 40s and have masters who do not have a boyfriend let alone a husband. But I also have friends who are educated and married. Often I do see women date a man who doesn't make as much as them or that doesn't have equal or better education.

Because the media has portrayed black women as, hoes, strippers, and baby mothers, some men tend to over sexualize us and look at us as an sexual object more than a wife or a mother. They tend to overgeneralize black women before they get to know them. An example of this is I have dated many men outside of my race. And majority of them would take me out on dates, bye me things, try to sleep with me but very few introduced me to family/ friends or wanted a long term relationship with me. I would be good enough to sleep with but not marriage material in their eyes.

There are many contributing factors to why the women are still unmarried. One thing is interpersonal trust. Being hurt in their past by abuse, infidelity, men not being finacially responsible in the relationship, and seeing women around them dealing with this issues in their relation creates and motivate an untrust in men all together. There has been men say that some women are so eager to find a man that they come off desperate. Other men have said that its because black women are controlling, nagging, and their expectations are too high. Some women say they are more likely to focus on their education and career which then makes them less appealing to men because they tend to view them as competition. As well as black men are more open to date outside their race then black women.

There is a stigma with gay black people because they are dealing with intersectionality of both the discrimination of being black as well as being gay. Dealing with racism, sexism and homophobia all collides and affects the mental health of the individual and overall quality of life. All are oppressed groups that deal with discrimination. Even in the LGBT community black people still deal with racism. In the Black community LGBT individuals deal with homophobia. Also black communities are less likely to accept their children or family members to be gay. Which greatly impacts the individual's self worth and self esteem.

https://law.stanford.edu/press/black-women-face-marriage-challenge/#:~:text=But%20black%20women%2C%20according%20to,pronounced%20among%20African%2DAmericans).

this resource is important because it touches on the same topic of the unit about the marriage gap with black women. Because of international relationships, the incarceration of black men, and the fact that economic trends have benefited black men more than black women there is a shortage of black marriagable black men.

Codeswitching is when a person who speaks multiple langauges alternates between the two. It can save your life like the speaker pointed out, and it can sometimes determine your individual upward mobility. Code switch when you go to work can make others more comfortable if you work with predominantly white people and determine weather you get promotions or not.

Code switching can threaten diversity because it can make someone feel as there culture or who they are, are unimportant and/or threatening. Eventually a person can be disconnected from their culture to conform to social norms from the new environment they are currently in. So loosing your culture can erase what you would bring into the community thus declining the diversity.

The Effects of code switching can cause stress and anxiety. Having to learn a new language and when to use it as well as when to not can be stressful. It can also cause depression because a person can start to feel down for not be accepted for their authentic self. This can also cause feeling of low self worth or guilt trying to appease a certain group of people for status for neglecting your own culture.

https://minds.wisconsin.edu/bitstream/handle/1793/83386/The%20Switch-Code-Switching%20and%20its%20effects%20on%20African%20Americans%20in%20America.pdf?sequence=1#:~:text=Many%20interviewees%20described%20code%2Dswitching,that%20highlighted%20whiteness%20as%20correctness this journal entry because it discusses code switching and the debate between aave being it own language and standard English. It also takes about where the need to code switch comes from in the Black community and how it affects the Black community.

A strategy I would use to express cold switching to the Black community is I would talk about all the people who have lost their lives because of their inability to code switch. I would also talk about where it is rooted from back in the chattel slavery days where it wasn't safe for us to speak our language and express our culture for we could and would be killed for it. I would also bring up the fact that we are not the only minority to code switch. Most of us have to code switch to make upward mobility in our family especially if your a minority.

What was most interesting from this unit was that what I grew up learning is ebonics and ghetto talk is actually a langauge. Not only is it a language but, its just a language that doesn't follow standard English rule like most other languages. And knowing AAVE makes you bilingual. Being you cant code switch if you arn't bilingual.

I believe that there are many reasons that religion and spirituality are ingraved more in the black community than others. One thing is even though we had strong roots to spirituality and religion in most parts of Africa, we were forced to practice Christianity during slavery by slave owners in attempt to control the slaves. And many slaves practiced their own religion in private and Christianity in public. And because there were so many similarities between different African religions and Christianity, a lot of AA people used religion to get them through a life of oppression and abuse. I believe that these traditions were past down from generation to generation to help with the mental and emotional health of AA who dealt with racism and oppression.

I also think there are many reasons why millenials exhibit different religious behaviors than the elders from our community. I believe one reason is millenials are more likely to question what they have been taught in search for the truth or their truth. More millennials are getting educated and learning that are parents and grandparent practice Christianity because they where told to do so by their parents and never asked any questions. The more we learn about our history, the more we learn that some of the religions from Africa was deemed evil and witchcraft from slave owners, which a lot of black people have carried into the present time. So a lot of history being lost has contributed to the elders of our generation only practicing Christianity and deeming other religions, wrong, or evil.

Attending church normally has a positive effect on the black community outside the LGBT black community. For everyone else, church tends to be motivational, gives others a moral compass, instills hope and faith, and gives a positive community for people to interact, worship, and receive knowledge and resources. For the the black LGBT community the church might have the opposite affect making them feel unaccepted like an outcast because of many black churches frowning upon it.

https://oxfordre.com/africanhistory/display/10.1093/acrefore/9780190277734.001.0001/acrefore-9780190277734-e-913?d=%2F10.1093%2Facrefore%2F9780190277734.001.0001%2Facrefore-9780190277734-e-913&p=emailA4N1KNc1Dhi3U#:~:text=Summary,Louisiana%2C%20and%20points%20in%20between.

This resource connects the need for religion and spirituality and the connection to slavery and how it changed the religions of many who where enslaved.

One thing I learned in this unit was the main difference between African religious and Christianity which is that Christianity focus is on doing well in this life to receive a good afterlife. And African religions focus on doing good in this life because that's what your suppose to do. Also that Orishas are used as a middle man between nature and God. How God in African is not seen as a single object but God being everything everywhere whereis Christanity looks at God as one individual being that sees all and knows all.