s p a c e  s

s   p   a       c           e               s

i learned that i was capable of feeling those big emotions

i learned that i could be a shameless slut

and i learned how much i like pleasing if its the right way

Just stuck in here and my internet is on Third World Country

Hahahha

When I retire Im going to make a cartoon strip Of my life

Peta -

HAHA that would be awesome, but why wait?

lol, riffing on your idea ..  i am thinking we both go out and  learn a similar drawing style .. then we start where you do your strip, then the next day i would publish the readers reaction strip... then you would go back to yours, and then me to mine

each time is the set up for the next but we never collaborate 

like we are DRAWING ROLEPLAY

🎀 𝓜𝓪𝓬𝓴 🎀-

Best

Idea

ᴰʳᵃᵖᵉᵗᵃ-Wouldn't that be amazing?

🎀 𝓜𝓪𝓬𝓴 🎀-

EVAAAARRRRRR

ᴰʳᵃᵖᵉᵗᵃ-

Like seriously

That could be very popular

🎀 𝓜𝓪𝓬𝓴 🎀-

And therapeutic!

ᴰʳᵃᵖᵉᵗᵃ-is this idea setting your brain on fire?

🎀 𝓜𝓪𝓬𝓴 🎀-

Omg. Vesuviusly

Haaa!  See? Feels so gooooood.   Almost as good as imagining the land trapped sea monster that loosened my tooth being plagued by ringworm on her enormous derriere.

In my head Im already doing that comic with me sitting on this stool coming up with ridiculous scenarios for the way she'd get her comeuppance

Ive involved cthulu and a blimp crash so far

ᴰʳᵃᵖᵉᵗᵃ-

HAHA yes, omg the idea of this is tickling me from the inside out

ᴰʳᵃᵖᵉᵗᵃ-

giggles madly  There was at least one baby orange bush, which was highly valued for the grape undertones it carried through the soils minerals which happened to be decomposed tartar off a t rex

🎀 𝓜𝓪𝓬𝓴 🎀-

Man.my head is spinning.

Woo!

ᴰʳᵃᵖᵉᵗᵃ-

so there are so many characters that could be introduced

like, think of all the kinds of people you know in the internet

the stories that you learned about them

because if you are going to have a strip about your life, it has to include the ten years of secondlife and all the stuff that happened to you and all the stuff that you learned happened to other people that you knew in  this virtual world

like this could be so expansive

🎀 𝓜𝓪𝓬𝓴 🎀- 

Oh shit...wwwow

Man

Maaan!!

🎀 𝓜𝓪𝓬𝓴 🎀- 

I was thinking how to work that in...how to draw it. Like first panel is sitting at computer desk signing in...then next panel is game ON

How much there is to cover in just one life! Isn't it odd...

And yet we all imagine there to be just so much more

They gave me pain killers

Look out world! I have no barriers of social etiquette!!

I feel better. I was really worried

Bruises fade, but hillybilly is forever(edited)

like.... the hottest image was this

me telling you to do something, and you wanted to come at me and tear me apart, but you couldn't.  Self control was like a glass wall.  You pressed your chest hard against it, and blew hot angry air out your nose, which fogged the glass wall as you stared down at me with malice in your eyes while you mastered your mind and body

I stood placidly on the other side of your self control (pictured as a glass wall) staring back up at you, waiting and knowing

K - This right here is the reason I'm hungrily addicted to the you. I would gladly construct this man, pluck him from the outskirts of your imagination and breathe into him life, bestow upon him body. I am intrigued at the scenario offered, the visual of glass walls of self control and constraints of social circumstance. I can see the beast pacing the breadth of that glass, burning with the knowledge that the self imposition of control was a finite edict and beset with the mechanization of constructing the cage he'd build about you, feeding the righteous fury of forced compliance to a lesser will with the thought of tracing the blueprint of his creation over your body with the tips of his fingers, dipping them in the inkwell of your soul to complete his masterpiece.  Bars woven from panting pleas and locks of pure need soldered at the seams with your psyche...

V - And the subtle ebb and flow of will both shared, torn, taken, given, and ... conceded

with no real idea as to how the thing might work its way out.  But to completely allow it to breathe and become whatever it will

K - Tallied, earned, borrowed, lost.  Fluidly resilient, like a living strain of creative virus.  Infectious.

V.  each reiteration different in small ways than the other 

the battle being fought on a scale to small to see with the naked eye

but like the host, sorely felt 

evolving both for the sake of evolution, and to overcome the other He knows he could literally crush her He  knows that violating the contract would land him in dire circumstances

He knows that he is in the worst possible position He has the will to beat it out Does he have the will to remain in tact The forces of the small woman before him
The small fragile looking nobody
Except she is all, because she holds the contract She works her magic on him He roars and bucks and hates and maybe loves
He works his magic on her
She roars and bucks and hates and maybe loves 

but im always like... so .. well what if? what if this or what if that

imagine haveing someone who will let you play out your what ifs

like drapeta has always hid, she developed a talent for it, what if there was wild magic, and she could sort of 'fade' from view because of it something like that would / could be rp'd and written into someones backstory, and you could just use it only wiht that person but it could enrich your story so much... its almost like, ...you are good enough, that you need a bit more of a challenge, so you impose rules upon your possibilities like.......................  you rp with only one person that you can fade from view. ............................. but with the rest of gor, if you rp'd that, you would have to find some way to legit explain it away

but when you rp it becomes a core skill

wanted

wanted

wanted

wanted

wanted

wanted

I imagine you and i, going out shopping in second hand prom dresses purchased from the salvation army!  Doaing normal every day things like i dunno, going swimming maybe

lol

normal stuff

tiaras and all

kind of like a music video

I think when you tell me about your life, I imagine a better one for you (obviously it would be closer to me)

and i would like to divulge some things about myself that I have not as of yet

i am currently in a friendly loving relationship with a man who is much older than me.  You have heard me talking to him a couple of times.  We are non sexual partners but very very good friends.

I know the next thing is going to sound strange to you, but i dont really get along with many people

or rather

i can get along with anyone for about fifteen minutes

maybe an hour, but i find most people exhausting

back to me

.............

not many people know much about my life

moto may be the only one who knows most of it, but not all.  I have niggling trust issues around the outer edges nothing unforgivable, but she has tossed me under the bus a few times with guys

but you will in time know everything

............. banishes the editor and critic in her head that is telling her to stop, to not be creepy, overwhelming, mushy, too fast etc

my husband has cancer and will for the rest of his days.  We married in part because we do love each other, but the reason we did, was becasue we can stand to be in the same house with each other.

before this my longest relationship was about five years

and the secondary reason is because he is going to come to the end of his life and will need someone he trusts to look after him

at which time i will be rather independantly wealthy

moto knows i live a very nice life

but has no idea what that means

i live in a house where the rent is 3000 a month, plus utilities

and it is on the waterfront

and steven is of the opinion that this is an amazingly cheap deal

please please please dont think that this is creepy

but i would love to share this with you

please please please do not feel that I am being obscene, or glib, or thoughtless, or say things without meaning.  I guard against those things by default.

One day, not that long from now, I will have the freedom to do as i like, and not worry about funds.

again, please please, ...........(my critic and editor will not allow me to go on without writing its bit in here.............  If this were some guy, saying all this stuff to me, i would be extremely put off.  I dont know why i can say it to you, but it feels very sensitive, and vulnerable and difficult.  I think it is because i would not like it done to me, and because it does ask for something back.  (not a reply, not an obligation but acknowledgement i think)

i would very much like to live out my days with you and all that you are, and know you are safe, and know that you are well, and know i can touch you and care for you and you can do the same.

Im sort of glad you are offline so i can say it all

If thats not anything you can even consider, then know that i want anything and everything you can offer me, (and now i sound like a job recruiter) with oppurtunity to grow

or even if it cant be that, (growing) that is alright too.  I have so many fantasies that i will not elaborate on right now, because they have already taken off in so many different directions from the jumpign point of what i have already written here

... no... it isn't 'I am an astronomer'  it is  I choose to be an astronomer
How much do you like that?  
because I knew you would like it when i wrote it, but the funny/strange/wonderful part of it, is I intended to write something else and right then, at the very moment I typed K in Kade, I saw the word on the screen, tthen it blurred with three lines, pinkish in color, erasing it, and I typed Kade in thin but bold black statement letters

K - I do love it.

I love how it accidentally happened the most

Just like you.

Accidentally happened

V.  How did i happen accidentally?

I am smiling quite widely

long eyes full of delight
K.  You landed at the right sim at the right time with the right tag when I last expected it...

And then you remembered me

And then you brought me in close I saw those stars.  But I accidentally chose to be an astronomer that day. And I accidentally couldn't find my way back.  Until I accidentally found that you were home all along.  _{We've been star crossing a LONG time}

V.  I see you in my eye right now.. my star... and when you pan closer with your camera the focus moves to a ballroom, all drawn in white cartoon style, white wiggly lines animated for pillars near the wall, people drawn en mass with rounded bubbles, in the middle the light shines on a single bubble, then an empty space before the wall of people starts again(edited)

zoom into my eye, with your eye, recording the journey, looking, seeing, delighting

dancing through the sky, dark finding light, flying into the light, the spotlight

zoom, into the spotlight

the lone bubble

a space all round

zoom in until we touch

becoming one

dancing and whirling

into the light, into the night, forever

infinity

galax-acious

K.  I am blinking back tears and swallowing hard.

V.  !! im giggling

I love this with you

I love you
i feel so good with you
K.  God I love when you just let go