https://padlet.com/26alorusso/wxq32njpf7uj Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2019-12-05 18:36:43 UTC 2019-12-10 16:47:37 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f400.png 26tcoffey https://padlet.com/26alorusso/wxq32njpf7uj/wish/421672815 “Changes” starts off really nicely with a ton of detail. The characters are described really well. I was really interested in how Isabella was going to react to seeing Tiffany in the hallway. Another star is the theme really shined through in this story. It was really nice to see that Isabella was able to stand up for herself in the end and make the right decision. A wish I have is for the sentences to flow better. There were some sentences that had repetitive words. Some sentences were cut off when they could’ve kept going. ]]> 2019-12-09 16:01:12 UTC https://padlet.com/26alorusso/wxq32njpf7uj/wish/421672815 26bkgordon https://padlet.com/26alorusso/wxq32njpf7uj/wish/421781124 I really do love how you added so much detail and description to your characters and what the characters are seeing/doing. But I do think  that you don’t use the same description because then it could get very confusing. As I am going through the wonderfuls tory I do start to see places that it turns into a run on sentence so I do think that you could have read the story once or twice more.In your narrative you  put turned the hallway three times when I read it. It seemed as if she turned the corner three times but she was only turned the corner one time/ Also I noticed that you put it three different times so when I read it out loud it sounded very repeatedly. Therefore you should just continue the sentence and not add in all of the “As she turned the corner.’’

]]> 2019-12-09 18:38:49 UTC https://padlet.com/26alorusso/wxq32njpf7uj/wish/421781124 https://padlet.com/26alorusso/wxq32njpf7uj/wish/422269375 I really loved how you really used description at the beginning and sensory language also in your hook. It really kept me interested in the story and gave me a clear picture of what the main characters were seeing in my head. I also really liked how you used figurative language and compared a lot of what the main character was seeing. I really liked when you did this because it showed how big something was of how loud your characters were speaking. I love your story but a suggestion I have is that you put your speaker tags before you describe what is happening. I think you should do this because when i read the conversation your characters were having, i didn’t know who was talking to who or what your characters were doing or seeing during their conversation. Otherwise, I love your story!

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