Based on the baseball memoir I wrote, I believe that I showed growth through increased efforts in practice and a changed mindset, to have a better baseball season.

The personal growth I showed was that not only did I had to mature really early in life, but also that I also grew closer to Christ through that. I showed it when I had to clean up my grandpa's blood off the walls, off the floor, even off the bed. As for my faith, I relied on God to carry my grandpa through this situation or take care of the situation to His own will. And, my grandpa is still alive today.

I wanted to add some more writing craft than I have. My plan was to adjust some of the sentences I have to fit different types of sentences.

I received feedback on the showing core values. I more stated them with the occasional seeing me having to mature through that but I didn't mention anything about that throughout my story. I should add some more details of that.

In my personal narrative I showed how I learned perseverance and determination. I showed this by writing about how in the beginning of my essay I was doubting myself and eventually learned how to keep working hard and accomplish my goals. I hope it connects with the ethos of a college by showing how a real life example of hard work paying off in my life.

I wrote about how I wanted to use more similes and metaphors and how I wanted to use more complex sentences. My specific plan is to read through my essay and find places to add more complex words and metaphors.

Someone told me that with my values, I should work on showing and not telling. I really like this feedback because I read my essay again and realized that I did a lot of telling in my essay. I plan to work on showing my values instead of telling them and changing parts in my essay that are telling instead of showing.

I see personal growth in my writing through boldness and confidence of stating this newspaper as a little kid. Walking up to people doors asking id they wanted to buy our product im sure took a lot of courage and I showed that through my essay.

my writing goal from Monday was to add more descriptive detail. One way I could do that is my reading my essay out loud and seeing where I could be more descriptive and adding detail there.

Vivie noted that each paragraph was well written but the paragraphs didn't flow together. I will try looking at the beginning and ending sentences of each paragraph to see if I can switch them to flow a bit better.

Based on my basketball memoir I showed personal growth in my sentence flow, and being more intentional about if all flowing together.

My goal was to keep working hard on my papers, and to achieve that I need to be intentional about revising my rough draft in order to make the best paper that I can.

I need to use stronger vocab, and I can do that by going back through and changing simple words for stronger ones.

Based on my trip for baseball that I went on to Cooperstown, NY, I showed growth in the story by building relationships with my teammates and teamwork skills after starting 0-4 in the tournament.

I listed that I need values, and that I need to show and not tell what happened throughout.

The area that I need to work on for my writing is condensing. I plan on cutting out some of the unnecessary information and words that don't contribute.

I believe I showed personal growth through my vulnerability in my experiences. I showed strength in reliance on others and God through tough times.

I wanted to put emphasis on the "So What" moment and make it better planned out. I want the build up to be worth it and convincing to the overarching narrative.

Some of my sentences were not complete and others needed to be fleshed out more. Also there is a consensus on the "So What" moment being longer.

Through the narrative, I showed personal growth through resilience in the face of a problem or challenge and that you have to keep going to resolve whatever issue you run into in life

to get better sentence flow and to cut down my whole Essay, I can cut out more words by using the skills we learned on Tuesday, and to increase flow, I can have a peer review it and give me suggestions

I need to work on the length of the essay because it is very over the 500-word count, so that is what I need to fix the most

Throughout my story, I showed personal growth by walking through my freshman year and how much change I’ve gone through since then. I started my story with explaining how I was not ready nor excited and ended with how high school has ultimately now prepared me and has brought me out of my shell.

My writing was to clean up my essay and make it stand out more and I plan on trying to add more complex sentences and expanding on my experiences really unraveling how it changed and shaped me.

I received feedback on my wording, just in some spots how it got a little lengthy and confusing. I am going to clean up and shorten some sentences, and tie them better together.

I didnt show a a lot of personal growth but what I did show was that I realized family is super important and its fun going on trips with family, I hope it will connect to the ethos of a college by showing that family is important and there is nothing that comes before family except God.

I wrote to take non important sentences out to get the word count and I will do that by taking out non important sentences

Better complex sentences and personal growth and ill do that by combining sentences and talking about how I grew as a person.

based on my memoire I believed that I showed great growth in showing vulnerability in my essays and really expressing that.

Based on my memoir, I think I showed personal growth by sharing my scary experience and demonstrating how I learned that things can become less scary with family and laughter. I hope my memoir will connect with the college ethos by telling them a story about my life and how my experience taught me something.

I want to use better grammar and learn to write with more depth. I plan to speak with Mrs. Monroe to get advice to help with achieving this.

I received feedback on the lack of depth in my paper. I plan to go more into detail about specific events that lack depth.

I think I showed my personal growth through making my core values more prevalent with one of them and the main core value being spending time with family.

My goal was honestly just be able to keep writing without hitting stopping point but also to make my writing more clear and concise and either to understand and pick up what was going on or being told

using better vocabulary and better transitions was one peer suggestion that was made. I think in the pursuit of making my writing more clear I may of over simplified the transitions between points.

I didn't show a lot of personal growth but I think I could improve on the personal growth by changing what I wrote and I think it will connect to the college ethos by showing that I have a story that connects with me

I said that I want to make my writing better and more interesting. I think I could take out a lot of words and make it more complex and not super simple

I need to connect the experiences to core values better; use better vocab instead of the simple vocab I've been using

I dont think I showed a whole lot of personal growth because I think I just talked about the story and didn't show growth.

My goal was to be more personal in my writing instead of just telling stories.

need to show more vulnerability and better sentence and paragraph structure.

Based on my 4th of July I showed personal growth. I showed growth in my relationships in my neighbors and the memories I created.

I need to incorporate more personal growth and vulnerability into my sentences. I need to show where I grew stronger relationships with neighbors. I need to be more personal rather than just tell a story.

I am going to use stronger sentences and make the sentences flow together better. I need to make sure I also make a clear intro and conclusion and divide the paper into clear paragraphs.

Based on my childhood memoir, Night at the Neths, I showed personal growth in my opinion by expressing how much I loved to be over at their house but also showing how when they got divorced the impact it had on my life. I hope it can connect people by showing them that sometimes to let go of feelings and memories is expressing how you feel through writing

explaining the story more thoroughly (helping readers understand). I plan on achieving this goal by using more colorful words and complex sentences to make the story more impactful.

Utilizes varied vocabulary and strong verbs effectively. I plan on using feedback and maybe even a thesaurus to help me with my vocab so I'm not using the same old words.

I didn't show a whole lot of personal growth in my memoir, it was mostly just a memory. I did however, talk about the changes that have taken place since then.

Have a more specific "so what moment". My plans are to read my essay and find something I can take away and use as a so what moment.

The "so what moment". I plan to do it as stated above.

I did not show much personal growth but there was some there, showing how I overcame my fears and developed a deeper trust in my parents.

my goal is to use better sentences, and better vocabulary. i need to be more intentional about varying my sentences and words.

i was told through peer feedback that i need to work on spelling and proper grammar to make my essay better.

Well I didn't really have a personal growth moment so I need to revise that. I'm hoping I can find a good ethos moment that shows I can overcome something.

I needed to show more vulnerability. I will probably change the story up and fit it in somehow.

Better vocab. I am going to find stronger synonyms for the words I repeat.

I showed how I learned how to persevere through the hard things and see through the things I started. I showed it by not quitting halfway through the season and even learning to love the struggle. The college will see that I will graduate from their school.

Using better and more diverse vocabulary. I will write the paper normally and then go back and find better synonyms for the simple vocab.

To use better vocabulary. The same thing as #2.

I intended to tell a story of a trip I went on that I really enjoyed. I don't think I expanded on any elements of personal growth, though.

I told a story but didn't add enough specific or obvious personal values.

Based on feedback, I'm going to focus on writing in more personal values and growth.

I feel that I show quite a bit of growth through all of my experiences throughout my life alongside my story, following with the times where I had to face difficult challenges that tested my faith and trust in God.

My goal was that I wanted to work on my vocab alongside more sentence flow, my plans are that I need to work and focus on my sentences and how they sound and blend together with more complex words.

The feedback that I saw was that I needed to work on sentence flow and just making sure I indent my paragraphs. my plans are that I need to work and focus on my sentences and how they sound and blend together with more complex words. I'm going to work on this by trying to write more.

I showed growth within my story by writing about flashbacks to my childhood while in the grocery store I grew up in. I hope that it comes across that growing up is hard and it comes too fast.

I wrote that I want my story to have more impact and less words. With Mrs. Monroes help, I think we found a way to change some sentences in a way to pack in more story with less words to limit confusion.

I got told that my story was confusing because of the flashbacks, and I am trying to add in more transition words to make those flashbacks more obvious.

Through my personal growth/knowledge that I showed through my writing was that I make it clear that I was stupid and lazy back then, but as the writing progresses then you start to see what I notices in those moments that help me think today.

I wrote about a scary experience from my childhood, I think I grew by learning how to act in bad situations, and I think It could help in college by balancing my work

I wanted to show and not tell a story, and I think I can show that by describing the scene better

one area that I needed to improve was vocabulary, Im going to work on that by trying not to use the first word that comes to mind and instead finding a synonym