In general you did a good job. You followed most of the instructions for the task. However, you need to pay attention to some aspects

1. Something small, the first sentence in past perfect seemed disconnected or didn't have a time reference in the past.

2. You need to practice A LOT your speaking to improve fluency and PRONUNCIATION

3. You didn't use an intensifier and your ending was a bit abrupt.

Thanks a lot for sharing your information with the class.

So far I can recommend you watching lots of videos or TV and also keep an oral journal about daily activities and class topics to improve fluency.

G++

I'll try to listen to it on a different computer. Anyway, if you can, please try to fix it so I can listen to it.

I think your introduction is a little too long. I mean, you're giving information you could have given in the body part.

Pronunciation of words that have the letter and sound w, also words ending in m, f and p

Also you Re making mistakes of third person in simple present

You had the review but the preview wasn't clear

Your diction was good but your speech seemed chopped at parts.

You need to practice EVERY DAY recording your voice and imitating conversations or readings to improve your overall rhythm and intonation

GOOD.

*written

The beginning was pretty good, but then as you started talking more spontaneously and your usual mistakes started to appear. By the end it was a bit difficult to follow.

Sometimes you make pauses in the middle of a sentence, not in thought groups, and this affects communication

You presented third person mistakes like:

the story begin

she talk

the book relate

Check the use of after versus then.

Practice a lot pronunciation of words that finish in consonants.

You forgot the review and preview

GOOD