Đề mix account + argumentative:

What are the reasons? ^{ACCOUNT - KHÁCH QUAN} Is this good or bad? ^{ARGUMENTATIVE - CHỦ QUAN, NÊN CHỌN.}

CHỌN TOÀN TỐT

Đ1: TỐT

Đ2: NHIỀU NGƯỜI CHỬI NÓ, BẢO X LÀ XẤU. TUY NHIÊN, TÔI NGHĨ QUAN ĐIỂM ĐÓ KO ĐÚNG!!!! NÓ KO XẤU. 

KẾT LUẬN: tốt.

What are the reasons? ACCOUNT - KHÁCH QUAN Is this good or bad? ARGUMENTATIVE - CHỦ QUAN, NÊN CHỌN.

CHỌN TOÀN TỐT

Đ1: TỐT

Đ2: NHIỀU NGƯỜI CHỬI NÓ, BẢO X LÀ XẤU. TUY NHIÊN, TÔI NGHĨ QUAN ĐIỂM ĐÓ KO ĐÚNG!!!! NÓ KO XẤU.

KẾT LUẬN: tốt.

• what are the ...

  causes/ solutions/

• effects: PROS/ CONS

OPINION: ĐƯA Ý KIẾN MÌNH

argumentative

• agree/disagree

• to what extent agree/ disagree

discussion

• discuss both views

THỂ HIỆN QUAN ĐIỂM CHỦ QUAN: TIN/ NGHĨ/ THẤY

A OR B

-> người viết nên chọn 1 bên A hoặc B

VẬY CÓ 2 HƯỚNG TRIỂN KHAI:

CHỌN A, HOÀN TOÀN BÊNH A: 100

Đ1: A tốt

Đ2: nhiều người chửi A, bảo B tốt hơn, nhưng (đánh lại quan điểm này) quan điểm này nông/ ungrounded.

CHỌN A, CÓ CÔNG NHẬN B 1 PHẦN (20%) nhưng MỞ KẾT VẪN RẠCH RÒI LÀ A HƠN 80-20

Đ1: A tốt

Đ2: trong 1 số trường hợp nhỏ, công nhận là B. nhưng B ...

Ví dụ: homework: good or bad

CHỌN: hầu hết là good

Đ1: good 1 good 2

Đ2: tuy nhiên trong 1 số trg hợp bài nhiều mà chán (bad) -> hs chán học. NHƯNG... nếu biết định hướng về góc nhìn (cách đánh giá) từ phía hs thì họ sẽ biết là hw good for them no matter how tough it is.

Many men and women are making the decision to have children later in life. Why is this trend occurring? What are the impacts of this development on both family and society?

🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴
✨TR: 6.5; CC: 6.0; VC: 6.5; GR: 6.0✨
═══nn══════════════════════
With the stressful state of the economy and the ever-growing society, many households have considerably chosen to give birth much later compared to the older generations** 💥 -> delay childbirth compared to previous generations. While this occurring** 💥 -> trend prevents the child from suffering such as financial shortage or a blow in mental health 💥 VC: -> from issues like financial strain or mental health challenges, their parents will likely endure many opposing comments 💥 VC: cụm yếu -> significant societal criticism. This essay will delve into the details of this rising trend and state the impacts of this development.

The previous generations are** 💥 GR: thì hiện tại ko phù hợp -> were heavily influenced by patriarchy, making women mostly vulnerable to men’s decisions about producing offspring** 💥 VC: largely subject to men’s control over childbirth decisions. Patriarchy has become so popular among society that it has subconsciously ingrained into people’s way of thinking** 💥 VC -> was so pervasive that it deeply shaped societal norms, that many women have to suffer under this rotten system, not allowing them to make choices about their own bodies** 💥 GR -> forcing many women to endure this oppressive system, denying them bodily autonomy. However, when the society has been revolutionized in the way of thinking** 💥 GR -> as societal attitudes have evolved, many laws have taken place** 💥 VC -> been enacted to protect women’s rights. This way, under the protection of laws, women nowadays are more educated as well as have a voice in their own choices** 💥 GR -> today are better educated and empowered to make their own choices. They decide to prioritize their own** 💥 GR: “own” thừa -> happiness over the stereotyped obligation of bearing a child that society has marked as theirs 💥 VC: dài dòng -> societal expectation of early motherhood. Their decision on this matter may also affect their choice on 💥 -> of partners, making it a joint agreement to have kids later in life. That not to mention** 💥 -> Moreover, many couples have considered the aspect of finance which clearly has an influence on their decision of bearing a child** 💥 VC: dài dòng -> financial stability, which significantly influences their decision to delay childbirth.

However, such late parenthood can bring about many undesirable consequences for not only society but also families. In social aspects** 💥 VC -> From a societal perspective, the country whose residents delay having kids may contribute to the ongoing demographic aging** 💥 VC: cụm thiếu rõ -> accelerating population aging, in which fewer babies are being** 💥 -> born each year. This can result in a shortage of young workforce 💥 GR: “workforce” ko cần “young” -> the workforce in the long term when most workers are the elderly who can hardly do heavy labor such as construction work 💥 -> older and less capable of demanding tasks like construction. With the aging population, the public finance will highly undergo rising strain due to more investments being made into aspects such as healthcare and pension costs** 💥 -> public finances will face increasing strain from higher healthcare and pension costs, therefore slowing down the economy. As for families, childless couples often have to endure the extreme criticism from the old-fashioned generations** 💥 VC: “extreme” quá, cụm dài -> harsh criticism from traditionalist generations. This may act as a detrimental blow to their mental and physical health.

In conclusion, many youngsters these days** 💥 VC: cụm thiếu trang trọng -> young people today do not prioritize having kids early because they are more educated as well as focusing** 💥 GR: cấu trúc sai -> and focused on other purposes like studying and building a successful career** 💥 VC: “purposes” yếu -> goals, such as education and career success, especially women. However, I do not deny that there is still a dark side in accordance with this trend as it negatively affects the society in general and each family in particular** 💥 VC: dài dòng, thiếu sắc thái -> a grim downside to this trend, impacting both society and families.

▪️Bài của e trả lời đc câu hỏi, nêu lý do và hệ quả của việc sinh con muộn, nhưng lập luận chưa đủ sâu, thiếu nhượng bộ hoặc phản biện để tăng thuyết phục. Quan điểm rõ, nhưng diễn đạt dài dòng, lặp từ, làm bài kém ấn tượng. Các ý liên quan, nhưng đoạn kết ngắn, chưa nhấn mạnh hậu quả mạnh. Ví dụ: “If this trend persists, it could push societies further into the grip of demographic and economic crises.”

▪️E hỗ trợ ý bằng lý do (luật bảo vệ phụ nữ, tài chính) và hệ quả (già hóa dân số, áp lực xã hội), nhưng ví dụ chung chung, thiếu cảm xúc. Thử: “Imagine a couple delaying parenthood to chase careers, only to face relentless judgment from elders.” Liên kết câu khá, nhưng thiếu từ nối đa dạng như “In light of this,” “Far from resolving,” “By no means”. Ý về già hóa dân số chưa đào sâu. Có thể: “The silent epidemic of an aging workforce threatens economic vitality.” Cần reference words như “such delays,” “this shift,” “these pressures” để tăng mạch lạc.

▪️Về từ vựng, e dùng đc “patriarchy,” “detrimental,” nhưng lặp “society,” “child,” và cụm như “bearing a child.” Độ chính xác từ vựng khá, nhưng “taken place,” “young workforce” sai ngữ cảnh. Collocation yếu, ví dụ “undergo rising strain” -> “face mounting pressure” hoặc “bear increased burdens”. Sắc thái cần mạnh hơn ở “undesirable consequences” -> “profound drawbacks”.

▪️Cấu trúc câu ổn, nhưng lỗi thừa từ, cụm lủng củng giảm điểm GR. Dấu câu tốt, nhưng “That not to mention” sai. Thay “This may act as a detrimental blow…” bằng “Never at all does such criticism spare couples; it only deepens their distress.” để nhấn mạnh.

🚩 Tóm lại, e cần tránh dài dòng, phát triển ví dụ sâu, thêm nhượng bộ như “While some argue late parenthood ensures stability, it comes at the expense of societal balance”. Cô đề nghị dùng từ nối linh hoạt, idiom như “take a toll” hay “beyond measure”, và chú ý cụm tự nhiên. Lần sau đào sâu hệ quả và kết bài mạnh hơn nhé!

At the heart of the issue lies a systemic interplay of factors, mostly** 💥 VC: từ yếu -> primarily attributed to the lack of practical education in school curricula. Schools often prioritize academic performance over financial literacy, leaving students ill-prepared for adult responsibilities. Furthermore, the modern cultural mindset consistently equates high grades with future success, ignoring essential life skills like budgeting and saving. As a result, students graduate with limited understanding of how to manage money effectively** 💥 VC: cụm dài dòng -> minimal knowledge of financial management.

In a positive light, this issue is solvable. Schools should incorporate basic financial subjects such as budgeting, saving, and responsible spending** 💥 VC: cụm yếu -> prudent spending into their programs. These lessons would equip students with real-life values** 💥 VC: cụm mơ hồ -> practical skills and prepare them for financial independence. At the same time, parents and communities should also raise awareness about money management from an early age, reinforcing these skills outside the classroom.

In conclusion, the lack of financial education in schools and the pressure to achieve academic success have undeniably contributed to this growing concern. Only by valuing practical skills alongside academic knowledge can we set future generations on course for a more secure and balanced life** 💥 VC: cụm sáo rỗng -> empower future generations for financial stability.

▪️Bài của e trả lời đc câu hỏi, nêu nguyên nhân và giải pháp cho thiếu giáo dục tài chính, nhưng lập luận chưa sâu, thiếu nhượng bộ hoặc phản biện để tăng thuyết phục. Quan điểm rõ, nhưng diễn đạt dài dòng, làm bài kém ấn tượng. Các ý liên quan, nhưng đoạn giải pháp ngắn, thiếu ví dụ cụ thể. Thử: “If schools taught budgeting, students could dodge the silent epidemic of debt.”
▪️E hỗ trợ ý bằng lý do (chương trình học, văn hóa đề cao điểm) và giải pháp (dạy tài chính, phụ huynh tham gia), nhưng thiếu ví dụ cảm xúc. Thử: “Picture a graduate, clueless about budgeting, drowning in debt because schools chased grades over skills.” Liên kết câu ổn, nhưng thiếu từ nối đa dạng như “In light of this,” “By no means,” “Far from adequate”. Ý giải pháp chưa đào sâu. Có thể: “Workshops on prudent spending could reshape teens’ financial habits.” Cần reference words như “such gaps,” “this focus,” “these measures” để tăng mạch lạc.
▪️Về từ vựng, e dùng đc “systemic,” “ill-prepared,” nhưng lặp “financial,” “skills,” và cụm “looming large” sáo rỗng. Độ chính xác từ vựng khá, nhưng “real-life values,” “responsible spending” yếu. Collocation cần mạnh hơn, ví dụ “limited understanding of how to manage money” -> “scant grasp of financial management” hoặc “poor insight into budgeting”. Sắc thái cần tốt hơn ở “solvable” -> “readily addressable”. Thử attitudinal word: “It’s nothing less than critical to teach financial literacy now.”
▪️Cấu trúc câu ổn, nhưng cụm dài dòng giảm điểm GR. Dấu câu tốt, nhưng “mostly” thiếu trang trọng. Thay “Students graduate with limited understanding…” bằng “Never at all do graduates leave school equipped to manage finances; they’re left vulnerable.” để nhấn mạnh.
🚩 Tóm lại, e cần phát triển ví dụ cụ thể, tránh dài dòng, thêm nhượng bộ như “While grades matter, they come at the expense of life skills”.

Yet, the debate on transportation and congestion issues remains unresolved. While some argue that poor infrastructure is the cause, others point to high dependence on personal vehicles. In response, some individuals state that governments should have policies to promote the volume of city dwellers** 💥 VC: volumn ko dùng với city dwellers -> encourage more people to live in cities to solve this problem.

This essay will propose possible causes for transportation and traffic issues, as well as analyze the feasibility of the solution given before** 💥 VC: cụm yếu -> proposed solution.

The failure to combat road issues, namely, congestion, accidents, and air pollution, can be attributed primarily to a heavy reliance on personal transport, if not a persistent rise in poor infrastructure 💥 GR -> alongside inadequate infrastructure.

With the amount** 💥 VC -> number of private vehicles rising rapidly, it’s no surprise there are more serious traffic** 💥 GR -> is increasingly severe traffic on our commute to work. Not to mention, the former problem can contribute a substantial amount of 💥 VC -> significantly contributes to greenhouse gases, therefore, worsening an already troubling problem - air pollution.

However, if a city’s road infrastructure isn’t planned and well thought out 💥 VC -> is poorly planned, it can be to blame for the number of road accidents that take place, sometimes at the expense of people’s mental health or lives. Such is the case for Delhi - India. Due to poor road conditions and badly designed roads, the annual fatality rate is around 1400** 💥 -> 1,400 fatalities. This does not only affect 💥 GR -> not only affects people’s lives, but also their mental health, leaving victims with trauma and PTSD.

For the reasons mentioned before 💥 VC -> above, the proposal for governments to encourage more people to live in cities instead of countryside** 💥 VC -> the countryside is highly unethical and contradictable** 💥 VC: sai từ, ko tồn tại -> contradictory owing to the fact that the majority of road infrastructures are** 💥 GR -> is in cities. If more people were to move into cities, meaning 💥 GR -> this would mean more private vehicles to get around. Moreover, the increased city population would put a further strain on cities budget and funding 💥 GR -> city budgets for road services and development. Therefore, advising more citizens against staying in the suburbs would directly contribute to traffic and transportation dilemmas, rather than solve it 💥 GR -> resolve them.

In conclusion, traffic and transportation challenges are undeniably caused by under par💥 VC -> substandard infrastructure in addition to increasing privately owned transportation 💥 VC -> vehicles; additionally, it’s inadvisable to encourage citizens to move into cities for it only contributes to the problem 💥 VC -> as it exacerbates the issue.

▪️Bài của e trả lời đc câu hỏi, xác định nguyên nhân (phụ thuộc xe cá nhân, cơ sở hạ tầng kém) và phản bác giải pháp đề xuất, nhưng lập luận thiếu nhượng bộ (concession) để tăng tính cân bằng. Quan điểm rõ, nhưng kết luận ngắn, ko nhấn mạnh hậu quả hay kêu gọi hành động. Các ý liên quan, nhưng trật tự ý hơi rối, đặc biệt đoạn phản bác lặp ý “more vehicles.” Ví dụ, có thể viết: “Far from resolving congestion, urban migration only pushes us further into the grip of gridlock.”
▪️E hỗ trợ ý bằng ví dụ (Delhi), nhưng ví dụ chưa đào sâu cảm xúc hoặc ảnh hưởng của ví dụ đó, thử thêm: “In Delhi, poorly designed roads turn daily commutes into a silent epidemic of trauma and loss.” Liên kết giữa các câu ổn, nhưng từ nối lặp “therefore,” “moreover.” Dùng thêm “In light of this,” “By no means,” “If anything” để đa dạng. Ý về khí thải chưa phát triển hết. Có thể viết: “The relentless rise in private vehicles fuels a cycle of pollution that is anything but sustainable.” Dùng reference words như “this trend,” “such issues,” “these consequences” để mạch lạc hơn.
▪️Về từ vựng, e dùng đc “reliance,” “fatality rate,” nhưng lặp “traffic,” “road,” thiếu đa dạng. Độ chính xác từ vựng khá, nhưng lỗi như “contradictable,” “under par” làm yếu bài. Collocation đơn giản, ví dụ “contribute a substantial amount of” thay bằng “greatly exacerbate” hoặc “drive up”. Sắc thái cần mạnh hơn ở “troubling problem” -> “a crisis beyond measure”.
▪️Cấu trúc câu ổn, nhưng thiếu câu phức hay đảo ngữ để tăng điểm GR. Thay “This does not only affect” bằng đảo ngữ “Not only does this ravage lives, but it also scars mental well-being.” Dấu câu ổn, nhưng lỗi ngữ pháp (“are” sai số, “meaning” sai cấu trúc) làm giảm độ chính xác.
🚩 Tóm lại, e cần phát triển ý sâu hơn, tránh lặp từ, dùng từ nối đa dạng, và sửa lỗi ngữ pháp. Cô đề nghị e thêm nhượng bộ (e.g., “While urban growth may boost economies, it comes at the expense of mobility”) và kết luận mạnh hơn. Lần sau thử idiom như “take a toll” hay “beyond recall” nhé!