Access to medicine is a universal right, and although this remains an unachieved goal for many people, when it is achieved it has its flaws. For instance, patients are often defined by their disease and viewed as nothing more by medical professionals and the patient loved ones. There is a difference in providing treatment and care as treatment involves solely medical aspects, and care involves the emotional support that bridges the gap between health and humanities, making medicine a more holistic practice. Affective labor is an aspect of care that can have a huge impact on a patient's recovery and well-being. The accessibility to this care is heavily influenced by any intersections between marginalizations the patient may have. This is reflected in Audre Lorde’s book titled “The Cancer Journals” through the heavy emphasis on how her intersectionality of being a black feminist lesbian poet shapes her experience of battling breast cancer.  

Evidence:

Illness is not a phenomenon of the physical body alone. Although disease strikes an individual body, the associated psychological, social, and economic ramifications of the experience infiltrate those around the ill, particularly the caretaker. Artistically capturing the experience of illness, The Metamorphosis explores the dynamic relationship between a patient and caregiver at the intersection of the challenges which illness imposes. Depicting a man who turns into a beetle and is eventually shunned and alienated from his caregivers, it serves as an analogy for the experience of going from healthy to ill. Although the metaphorical illness which is imposed on Gregory is the root of his Metamorphosis, he is not alone in such a transformation. Grete, taking on the role of the main caretaker, transforms throughout the novel as grapples with the difficulties that the situation presents. Serving as a mirror for the realities of many caretakers, the novel advances the intersections which exist in health, wellbeing, relationships, and human care.

Maybe I took this for granted. Maybe I took my husband, family, and friends for granted. Maybe I needed my consciousness shaken up a bit. For whatever reason, one day during my hospitalization, God abandoned me. It was an abrupt and total departure. The very second that God left, another presence arrived, one that was palpably unkind and cold.

During the day, when my husband or others were with me, this new presence lingered in the corner. At night, it sat at the edge of my bed, slowly crawling its way into my mind and body. It overtook me; it left no space for prayer. I couldn't have called out to God if I'd wanted to. And, most terrifying, I didn't want to. Id been plunged into a dark night that lasted for weeks and held no promise of dawn. Why had this presence driven God away? Had God permitted this to happen? Had I unknowingly invited this presence in? Or was it God Himself, this heavy weight?

This painting represents the time of "the dark night." The long narrow canvas seemed perfect; the painting is somber in tone, utilizing only black, white, and ultramarine blue with dashes of red. The tears on my face are tears of confusion and fear. The black shapes that began simply as geometric patterns morphed (at first unconsciously) into the suggestion of a cross -I felt both abandoned and crushed: what was God asking of me?"

Introduction:
Courtney Davis, a nurse and painter of vivid images that she created to help process her journey through medical illness, is the artist behind the book that consists of a series of paintings called When the nurse becomes the Patient. When flipping through the pages of the book, the reader is met with bright evocative imagery that depicts the artist, Courtney Davis's struggles scene by scene through her medical journey. It's essentially a visual journal that's not sequential, but provides valuable insight to the reader of each painting through summarized text  contextualizing each painting. The book helps the reader step into the world of isolation that medical patients often face when navigating the sterile and often dehumanizing environments, through the 12-set art-series. The paintings are packed with emotion but fluid in style, and each painting transcends the genre of artwork of the previous. The vulnerability of the artwork and use of art as a coping mechanism in the book, allows for it to be used as a case study for medical providers trying to gain more holistic insight into how patient care can often affect the patient. The Dark Night (Davis Pg.5) is a critical example of Davis portraying how the isolation she experienced through the treatment ignited further conflict in other aspects of her life, and led to internal struggles with her own faith. The image is stuffed with metaphors that serve as visual identifiers of both the external and internal battles Davis was fighting. The metaphors interwoven into the artwork through symbols, the choice of coloration of the painting, and the different artistic techniques used, all play an integral role in producing the subliminal messaging of the isolation patients often face in medicine in, When the nurse becomes a Patient.


Evidence:

“I had known the pain, and survived it. It only remained for me to give it voice, to share it for use, that the pain not be wasted. 

Living a self-conscious life, under the pressure of time, I work with the consciousness of death at my shoulder, not constantly, but often enough to leave a mark upon all of my life’s decisions and actions. And it does not matter whether this death comes next week or thirty years from now; this consciousness gives my life another breadth. It helps shape the words I speak, the ways I love, my politic of action, the strength of my vision and purpose, the depth of my appreciation of living. 

I would lie if I did not speak ofd loss. Any amputation is a physical and psychic reality that must be integrated into a new sense of self. The absence of my breast is a recurrent sadness, but certainly not one that dominates my life. I miss it, sometimes piercingly. When other one-breasted women hide behind the mask of prosthesis or the dangerous fantasy of reconstruction, I find little support in the broader female environment for my rejection of what feels like a cosmetic sham. But I believe that socially sanctioned prosthesis is merely another way of keeping women with breast cancer silent and separate from each other."

(The Cancer Journals, Audre Lorde, pages 8-9)

Health humanities cannot be limited to the field of medicine because its main goal is to health and human flourishing. The Cancer Journals by Audre Lorde is “an invitation to compassion, reflection and action for all of us”; it shows how to seek the energies to sustain a life that is more than illness. This book is the ultimate example of the bridge between health and humanities because it portrays how ill people can become good stories and how to make lines something worth living for. This book serves as a helpful tool for those struggling with illnesses in not feeling isolated in their experiences and to have someone to relate to. Audre Lorde gives women a ray of sunshine and helps us understand how important it is to love and cherish every little moment of our lives because we never know how long we will be alive. 

Intro: 

Silence. Something so loud yet so quiet at the same time. Something that can fill any room and any void either leaving us in peace, or pondering over every life decision we have made. It can be something dangerous leaving us with a single story, or something that can provide comfort and healing. Silence can feel like a cage that is keeping us locked up away, hidden in a tower. Or it can be the key to our freedom, as it helps us grow big and strong, ready to fight the whole world. The “human presence is healing” (Davis 33), simply the presence of others is enough to get us through even the hardest challenges. As humans we value other people’s presence, we value what they need to say, but also the silence they have to give. Life is intertwined with challenges, and simply having others there to support you through giving their time is plenty, especially in a life where all they know is the small confinement of their room where the IV’s drip into their body, and the bright lights, and the loud bustling in the halls, as they fight for their life.   

Supporting Ideas: 

Evidence 1: 

Oftentimes whenever we hear the word angels, we think of someone watching over us and caring for us. Simply the title Angel Band tells us that having people there is enough to provide strength to the patients.
 

Evidence 2: 

Speech is unnecessary; just sitting silently by can be of great service.” (Davis 33) She was able to let us see that sometimes, all someone needs is a little support and how no matter who we are, whether it’s a doctor, a nurse, a family member, we all have the power to help the patient, and aid in their journey of recovery, especially with the way medicine is looked at now a days.
 

Evidence 3: 

“As I recovered, I realized that my angel band had in fact been gathered around me all the while. They were the nurses and aides who cared for me; they were my husband and my family” pg 31 

Evidence 4: 

The colors show that she is coming back to life. When comparing from prior pictures there is more life in the patient, her skin has colors, her body has more life, and the overall photo appears to have more joy, as those who love and cared for her protected her. She uses the image to express her words which are lighter and brighter, which are represented and shows her coming back to life, and ow the presence of others allows for people to flourish like a budding vibrant flower.  

Evidence 5:  

“Medicine has changed. It is less personal, less interactive, and more technical.” pg 33 “human presence is healing” 

 

Cortney Davis, a nurse and the author of When the nurse becomes the patient, shares her unique volte-face experience through artwork. Prior to her diagnosis, Davis felt as though she had a sense of the suffering endured by patients due to her profession. Nevertheless, it wasn’t until she became a patient herself that she was able to get a true sense of empathy for the people she takes care of. Although she had been hospitalized before, she had never been this close to death. She now understands what it is like to feel the hopelessness and despair that her patients experience on a day-to-day basis. For people with serious illnesses, there seems to be a universal difficulty in articulating the words to describe the pain experienced. Rather than trying to verbalize her pain, Davis decides to express herself through a collection of paintings, all from different points in her journey. Effectively, this shift in perspective proves a powerful means of communication, allowing her to offer insight to the inner thoughts and feelings that may be difficult to convey through words.  

 

Evidence:

Isolation 

 

“Prosthesis offers the empty comfort of ‘Nobody knows the difference’. But it is that very difference which I wish to affirm, because I have lived it, and survived it, and wish to share that strength with other women.” (61)

Intro: The image, “Transfusion”, in When The Nurse Becomes A Patient, by Courtney Davis, portrays how distorted and foreign the world becomes when battling an illness. Through an abstract self-portrait of her lying on her hospital bed, she shares the struggles with the side effects of her illness, being hospitalized, and the brutal isolation. She also offers commentary on what the image means and why she used certain colors and shapes. 

Vulnerability (because of dehumanization):

Isolation

Loss of self (separation from humanity and herself)

Intro:

Illness was a realm familiar to Courtney Davis, having spent her life as a registered nurse working in the hospital. Unfortunately her one day surgery turned into a quite prolonged hospital visit and ended up with Courtney Davis fighting for her life. She portrays her suffering through a series of heartfelt images, one being a dark blue oil painting capturing a very solemn and gloomy picture of her and her husband's suffering. They are outlined in a vibrant orange showing his care for her during this time of hardship and how although a struggle he stays by her side. This image helps her bring her illness and feelings during this time to another level and really captures what her and her husband went through in a way just words could not. Throughout enduring her illness, Davis comes to realize and portrays the mental and physical impact a long term illness has, but also the detrimental and life changing impact it has on the ones taking care of the ill. 

Evidence #1

Evidence #2

Evidence #3

Intro: Modern technological advancements and Western culture heavily impact our society today and are heavily relied upon. There are many great contributions made from them in the medical world, however, as more advancements and resources are made for illnesses, there seems to be a decline in the perceived importance of caregiving and how transformative it is to a patient’s treatment. People do not realize that human caregiving and having a support system are still equally as important as the medical treatment given, even as they improve. Caregiving defined as taking care of a patient and providing physical and mental support through meaningful interactions with patient. Courtney Davis, who is a nurse, in this text accompanying this image, writes about how only during her recovery did she realized that she was alive due to her support system. Davis, like many others, had undervalued the importance of support systems when in comparison to intense medical treatment. Davis’s opinion of caregiving however has changed after being a patient and she expresses this through this painting. 

Evidence #1: Use of color 

Davis adds a lot more color in this image compared to any of the other paintings in this book, likely to represent the life that her support system brought to her. The vibrant colors showed how she prospered with their caregiving and can represent how friendly and positive they were. 

Evidence #2: Awareness of change in feelings when support system present

Davis’s writing that accompanies the image helps better understand what she is trying to express and is in a much happier tone. She writes a lot about how her life changed due to her support system; an idea seen in pervious images too.

Evidence #3: Use of religion/language

Davis uses religion to represent how her support system was her savior. This language of calling her support system angels represents the importance they had to her because religion is a huge part of her life which she mentioned earlier in the book. 

The Power of Connectivity

The ideal of connectivity spans all throughout human history, its predominance is shown in every story you will ever come across, even your own. In a world beset with uncertainties and interconnectedness, the significance of human bonds has never been more evident. The works shown in class delve into the compelling narrative of how attachment plays a pivotal role in the lives of individuals grappling with illness. Whether the patient is battling cancer, learning to live after a life changing operation, or battling an unknown illness, a frequent subject was that of connection; a burning desire to fit in and be accepted, to be a part of the world rather than just in it. At the heart of this subject lies the realization that, in times of physical and emotional vulnerability, people rely on the support, empathy, and the camaraderie of others in order to navigate the laborious journey of healing. The Cancer Journals by Audre Lorde, The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka, Wit by Margaret Edson and When a Nurse Becomes a Patient by Cortney Davis  all explore why connectivity– whether through family, friends, healthcare professionals, or online communities– emerges as a beacon of hope and resilience for individuals in their pursuit of health and well-being and what happens if you don't have it. 

“Although Gregor could get no news directly, he overheard a great deal from the neighboring rooms, and as soon as he heard voices he would run over to the corresponding door and press his entire body against it.”

The narrator explains that since none of Gregor’s family members think that he can understand them, and since none of them wish to see him, Gregor gets no updates on his family’s status or news of the outside world. In the beginning, his family mostly discussed Gregor’s transformation and what they should do about his situation. Gregor longs to hear updates and news to remain connected to the world and to others, but he has no way of communicating his needs. No one speaks to him, they no longer include him in their lives as if his has stood still isolating him in a timeless room, he end up succumbing to dark thoughts because he has no one to keep him in the world as it is. 

“... the imposed silence about any area of our lives is a tool for separation and powerlessness and for myself I have tried to voice some of my feelings and thoughts about the travesty of prosthesis the pain of amputation the function of cancer and profit economy my confrontation with mortality the strength of woman loving and the power and rewards of self-consciousness of living.” (Lorde 1).

This quote works with my essay because it talks about how silence and separation create a seemingly desperate state. Showing how people profit from the silence in pain, and how that if you seek help, seek to have your voice heard and comforted that you can create a powerful crutch for living. This is only achieved when your voice is heard, when you are not alone.  

“Painting this, I felt again my own hopelessness as well as the reassurance I found in my husband's embrace .”(My Husband Cares for Me Tenderly)

This painting and poem were written in order to show her appreciation for her husband sticking by her. Her love for the support given by her husband and how his presence, love and hope almost encompass her and hold her up when she is too weak to do so herself. It shows how humans thrive around other people and how when we are weak we depend on the light of other people to keep us together.

 

When I was first discharged from the hospital, I felt fragmented, uncertain, and not prepared to resume any kind of "normal" life. Within days my clinical symptoms worsened and back to the hospital I went, via ambulance, sirens wailing. More procedures were done; another round of tests revealed that I had developed a blood infection and a pleural effusion-fluid trapped between the lung and its covering, the pleura which were the results of surgical complications and the various medical treatments I'd received.

This painting depicts the raw fear I experienced when I was home in between my two hospitalizations. Still anemic despite transfusions, I felt my body changed and, metaphorically, broken apart. Normally slender, I now looked skeletal-there was no part of me that seemed familiar. Whose skin was this, whose hands? Whose legs supported me?

I gained new insight into how my patients might have felt when they were released from hospital to home: as terrifying as being in the hospital can be, being home, especially alone, is equally frightening. Worries loom large. Nothing is easy. The simplest chore, the most routine task, seems impossible. Everything becomes bright and out of focus, like that small piece of paper collaged into the painting, appearing to be a part of my hair but also a part of my jangled consciousness, a little bit of terror. I'm asking, "Where are the nurses with their tender hands? How will I survive, and what awaits me now?"

Patient care is one of the subjects that has been widely discussed throughout history, and its improving has become a priority for all health care providers with the overall objective of achieving a high degree of patient satisfaction and treatment. The quality of patient care is essentially determined by the quality of medical care along with emotional support when the patient feels supported, heard, and seen. Cortney Davis, a nurse practitioner, author, and artist who usually writes about her experiences taking care of patients, underwent a medical illness where she became a patient instead of a caregiver. Her journey during this time led to a series of life-changing lessons. During his twenty-six days in the hospital, Davis experienced how different it looks when you look at a disease from a patient's and a caregiver's point of view. She learned that a patient becomes vulnerable during their illness and experiences pain, fear, loneliness, body and habit transformation, dependency, and the need for support from family and friends. She truly understood the depths of suffering—mental, physical, and spiritual—that gravely ill patients can experience. Despite Davis being a skilled writer, she found the details of her journey too intense and complicated to put into words and sentences. Therefore, she chose to use colors to express her inner feelings. Davis visualizes her feelings of loneliness, fear, disappointment, pain, body alienation, and what she went through during her illness journey in painting. The use of colors with different tones, facial expressions and body language made it easier for the reader to catch the main concepts and imagine what the author has learned during her journey.

 

“I now looked skeletal; there was no part of me that seemed familiar. Whose skin was this, whose hands? Whose legs supported me?” (Davis). This quote shows when Davis realized how her body transformed during her illness journey and that the simplest chore or routine that she used to do every day was impossible with her weak body.

Black was one of the first colors used by humans, and most of the time it has been the symbol of death, grief, mourning, occult, mystery, bleakness, heaviness, depression, rebellion, and fear. Because humankind instinctively fears darkness and anything that lurks in the night, they use this color to show their fear. Davis's black background shows she has a huge feeling of loneliness and fear. Besides, her facial expression and her body transformation (a scar on her head) in the painting depict that she has suffered from a lot of physical and mental pain.

 

When Davis was discharged from the hospital and has been at home between her two hospitalizations, she realized that she changed a lot during her illness and needed a caregiver to help her. This quote can clearly show her feeling: “Where are the nurses with their tender hands? How will I survive, and what awaits me now?” (Davis).