Question #1: How have you observed or experienced gender dynamics playing out in your UU community? by Erin Horvath- CUC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy en-us 2022-10-05 17:26:35 UTC 2022-10-06 00:17:49 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f34e.png You main idea goes here erin325 https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328049908 Follow up comments if needed]]> 2022-10-05 17:52:27 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328049908 Congregational president not treated the same way as male presidents. https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328406448 2022-10-05 23:46:02 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328406448 Young women not listened to. https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328406857 2022-10-05 23:46:35 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328406857 Women make up the majority of RE positions https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328408057 2022-10-05 23:48:00 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328408057 How have you experienced gender dynamics playing out in your UU community? https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328408394 Recently found out we were not as progressive as I thought, and it was painful.]]> 2022-10-05 23:48:22 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328408394 As a Board we have experienced gender based mistreatment. Observed what was happening but didn't understand what was happening. https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328408416 2022-10-05 23:48:24 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328408416 gender hierarchy in different experiences https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328408456 2022-10-05 23:48:27 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328408456 As a woman, I tend to stand back and have a hard time standing up to men dominating meetings. https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328409269 2022-10-05 23:49:19 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328409269 high ranking women are ignored or disregarded or attacked https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328409895 2022-10-05 23:50:01 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328409895 Most speakers and service organizers are women in a lay led congregation. https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328410145 2022-10-05 23:50:18 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328410145 Women mostly, some men in committees - e.g. woman raised a point and if a man was chairing she would be ignored. Later if a man said the same thing it would be recognized. https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328410419 2022-10-05 23:50:40 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328410419 Misgendering Needs to be Worked on https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328410778 We need cis people to stop saying "getting pronouns right is hard" and put in effort to respect our identities]]> 2022-10-05 23:51:05 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328410778 In a welcoming membership committee there are only women. https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328411546 2022-10-05 23:52:03 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328411546 feeling of the community being male dominated and specifically wealthy white male dominated https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328411612 2022-10-05 23:52:07 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328411612 Pledge and finance committees usually men. https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328411713 2022-10-05 23:52:14 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328411713 Our congregation very welcoming WRT gender diversity. https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328413313 2022-10-05 23:53:58 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328413313 Cultural Differences https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328413544 Being forced from a culture that honours women to one where there is silencing about identity was experienced, and then being disappointed by the invitation of radical hospitality in UU was not as advertised. Being asked to do the work as a person from a different "silo" than others. Feelings of isolation and lack of support. Multi-cultural perspective is needed.]]> 2022-10-05 23:54:13 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328413544 Women on committees are on par with men. https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328414210 2022-10-05 23:54:45 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328414210 Not necessarily active reaching out to people who are gender diverse, or being as inclusive as we could be. https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328415042 2022-10-05 23:55:23 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328415042 Most ministers have been male. https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328415068 But much of the committee work is led and done by the women of the congregation.]]> 2022-10-05 23:55:25 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328415068 Notice women self-selecting into caretaking roles: setup, cleanup, "caring committees" https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328415494 Deferring to louder more assertive speakers, results in self-silencing and taking on the supportive rather than leadership position. This is different when  in a role that accords her authority such as committee chair or team lead.

In her church community, there are many women in leadership roles. Wondering if that has anything to do with having two women as ministers.

Women in the congregation are happy to have a female staff person take the lead. The men in leadership in the congregation treat her as a secretary. Men micromanaging her. Congregants treat her as THEIR staff person not just ]]> 2022-10-05 23:55:55 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328415494 entitlement, that's the problem https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328415510 2022-10-05 23:55:56 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328415510 A congregant celebrated 25 anniversary of marriage of her lesbian relationship. https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328415904 2022-10-05 23:56:24 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328415904 Undermined by congregants. Information withheld. Now realizing that this is gender-based. https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328416848 2022-10-05 23:57:17 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328416848 Much of the care work of the congregation led by women. https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328417277 2022-10-05 23:57:42 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328417277 "Done Deal" https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328417303 We have an attitude of having done the work, but collectively make make assumptions based on appearances. Also assumptions of age being a direct correlation with being gender non-conforming, which isn't the case.
Other disadvantages not seen because of assumptions.]]> 2022-10-05 23:57:43 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328417303 We need to do more work on gender issues to continue being a welcoming community. https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328419005 2022-10-05 23:59:47 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328419005 Finance committees are usually male. https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328419224 2022-10-06 00:00:04 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328419224 Hard to find Community https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328419451 Hoping that we'll find some among those in our caucus!]]> 2022-10-06 00:00:23 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328419451 There seem to be more women in the congregation, which means there's a smaller pool of male volunteers to draw from. I'm concerned that we're not working hard enough at helping boys feel like they belong at RE, and making it enjoyable from them. https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328420333 2022-10-06 00:01:31 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328420333 Fewer men but very active and engaged, including in taking on roles more traditionally female https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328420415 2022-10-06 00:01:37 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328420415 Cis white male could speak about race without issue. When a Woman of colour spoke about race there was a log of anger expressed. https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328420439 2022-10-06 00:01:39 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328420439 Men are more likely to use power out of process or power over tactics https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328421970 2022-10-06 00:03:34 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328421970 A speaker shared that they were bisexual. A male member of the conversation did not feel this should be shared on the basis that it wasn't "relevant." https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328422274 2022-10-06 00:03:55 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328422274 Volunteer roles fall largely in gender norms https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328422390 2022-10-06 00:04:06 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328422390 An entirely male committee https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328422502 2022-10-06 00:04:14 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328422502 All our treasurers have been male https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328423048 2022-10-06 00:04:52 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328423048 Youth mentioned that all the people who support youth events were women https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328423849 2022-10-06 00:05:45 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328423849 Lots of women in leadership roles, but men gravitate toward grounds, facilities https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328424839 2022-10-06 00:06:53 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328424839 trans and non-binary young adults have come to our congregation but leave after a few visits because they don't see anyone like themselves in the community https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328425027 2022-10-06 00:07:05 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328425027 Noticing that there's a lot of women in leadership roles, but we can't conflate who is doing the labor with who has the power https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328425609 How many men would it take to scuttle the effort of the women in leadership?]]> 2022-10-06 00:07:48 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328425609 Sometimes, when men in our congregation are frustrated about an issue, we may (rightly or wrongly) feel that a man in power is best able to receive/navigate that anger. https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328426186 2022-10-06 00:08:29 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328426186 There are fewer 2SLGBTQ people in UU congregations than in the past https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328426364 2022-10-06 00:08:41 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328426364 Most of us leave https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328427235 2022-10-06 00:09:35 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328427235 "I haven't thought much about the role of sexism in the congregation until these forums, and the questions that were asked in them" https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328427424 2022-10-06 00:09:45 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328427424 "no one ever genders me correctly, even though I've gone by they/them for five years" https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328427833 2022-10-06 00:10:14 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328427833 https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328428227 As a female staff person, members feel entitled to comment on my choice of clothing, to approve or disapprove of my hair, etc in ways I don’t observe them doing with staffers of all genders. ]]> 2022-10-06 00:10:43 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328428227 50/50 leadership roles help https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328429081 Seemed fairly equal leadership in their congregation]]> 2022-10-06 00:11:39 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328429081 Two older men help in the kitchen and then other men follow https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328429384 2022-10-06 00:11:59 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328429384 One man was involved in RE for years and that really helped for there to be gender diversity there https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328429692 2022-10-06 00:12:18 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328429692 "The welcome wasn't as promised" https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328430109 Everyone in the caucus nodded our heads at this sentence. That says a lot. ]]> 2022-10-06 00:12:42 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328430109 People don't take a woman in charge of the website as seriously as men. They treat her suggestions as opinions rather than expertise and knowledge and she has to say that she has been doing websites for years and knows what she is doing. https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328430751 2022-10-06 00:13:19 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328430751 Realizing that mostly women help out https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328431174 2022-10-06 00:13:44 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328431174 Young women are asked to take on roles more than young men are asked https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328431529 2022-10-06 00:14:04 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328431529 We didn't mention trans folks until the end (noticed that). https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328432084 2022-10-06 00:14:38 UTC https://padlet.com/erin325/wifgoui0au7menfy/wish/2328432084