https://padlet.com/26nlambert/w8t09uwa27cn Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2019-12-05 19:28:54 UTC 2019-12-10 19:42:47 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/26bd.png 26vvirga https://padlet.com/26nlambert/w8t09uwa27cn/wish/421710563 Your story was wonderful. I loved your description especially when you stated “After she ate, she put on her Point Pleasant sweatshirt and her black tight pants. She didn't really care that her vans sneakers were dirty.” I really liked when in the beginning you described her sneakers hitting the turf. One thing would be to really describe her head and the hospital.

]]> 2019-12-09 16:56:04 UTC https://padlet.com/26nlambert/w8t09uwa27cn/wish/421710563 26jdunbar https://padlet.com/26nlambert/w8t09uwa27cn/wish/421811462 I loved your story “Almost a winning Goal”. The title is very mysterious and a lot of people would be anxious to read your story. I was getting tears in my eyes when Brianna fell and got in the accident. I can connect to this because when I was little playing soccer in kindergarten, I slipped and broke my arm and some of the kids made fun of me because the cast looked really weird. I wish you added and little more show than tell. It would’ve added a little more suspense to your story. Overall your story is awesome!

]]> 2019-12-09 19:20:15 UTC https://padlet.com/26nlambert/w8t09uwa27cn/wish/421811462 26cherb https://padlet.com/26nlambert/w8t09uwa27cn/wish/422373943 One star I have for you is that in the start you had a lot of good dialogue in it and some facial expressions. That helps the story have more detail. Another star I have is  that in the middle you had a lot of talking and you did good with the dialogue. A wish I can give is That you have a lot of ping pong dialogue.  


]]> 2019-12-10 19:16:09 UTC https://padlet.com/26nlambert/w8t09uwa27cn/wish/422373943 26egoldstein https://padlet.com/26nlambert/w8t09uwa27cn/wish/422393379 The strength in your story is your begging ““Boom Goal!” A big soccer ball hit the net and went in the goal.   Brianna’s black and gold cleat hit the green turf.  She didn't really care if the turf went in her cleat.  It was her first goal of the season.  She was beaming, and the smile on her face said it all.  Her face was as red as a tomato.  Most of the parents were so surprised because she never scored before.” I like how you explained how she never got a goal before and how other people were surprised and I also like how you added detail in the begging. Another strength is this part “   One of the teammates' cleats hit the turf very smoothly with almost a whisper. The ball went in between another player’s legs.  Brianna got the ball.  She collided with the goalie while trying to take a shot at the ball. “Aaaa!” Loudly screamed the goalie and Brianna.  Her coach ran over quickly and picked her up, then frantically called the ambulance. Her team was crying, especially her best friend Izzy.” I like this part to cause of the detail you put in this part. I wish you could add more detail to this part “  One of the teammates' cleats hit the turf very smoothly with almost a whisper. The ball went in between another player’s legs.  Brianna got the ball.  She collided with the goalie while trying to take a shot at the ball. “Aaaa!” Loudly screamed the goalie and Brianna.  Her coach ran over quickly and picked her up, then frantically called the ambulance. Her team was crying, especially her best friend Izzy.” I think you should add more stuff to this part and more thought to.  

]]> 2019-12-10 19:42:33 UTC https://padlet.com/26nlambert/w8t09uwa27cn/wish/422393379