https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46 Body paragraph from energy essay + evidence en-us 2017-10-24 20:34:51 UTC 2017-10-26 23:35:02 UTC hello@padlet.com karen_fong https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46/wish/200676639 A. Consider the following points before rewriting:
1. Did the writer follow the pattern given out in class:
 Topic sentence + ‘Anchor 1’ + evidence + (evidence) + comment + ‘Anchor 2’ ……
2. Are the in-text references OK?
3. Has the writer done a reasonable job of paraphrasing (synonyms, changed order etc.)?
B. Rewrite on Padlet]]> 2017-10-26 04:06:46 UTC https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46/wish/200676639 https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46/wish/201044808 There are significant benefits associated with traditional energy sources such as coal.a widely criticized by who support energy diversification highlight the importance of coal. One compelling reason not to move away from coal-based energy is that Australia has
a significant amounts of fossil fuels by this energy resource .Sinclair(2013,p.61)points out there are sufficient sources such as coal in Australia to satisfy its energy demands into the next century. In addition to sufficient coal reserves,improvement in technology is another reason oppose using diverse energy.This view 
illustrates that a number of detrimental environmental effects caused by the fossil fuels by advanced technology (The Australian Coal Association 2013)....]]> 2017-10-26 22:26:20 UTC https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46/wish/201044808 https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46/wish/201044901 There are, however, some valid arguments against energy diversification in Australia. A major drawback is that coal is an economical resource. According to Sinclair(2009. p.61), Australian coal is economical energy and there are adequate reserves to fulfill national requirements in next centry. Due to this reason, it can refute energy diversification. Opponents highlight the other  disadvantage of energy diversifacation is developing economy. International trade is one of the main factors. According to Wu et al.(2009), requirement for energy resources is an common issue in the APEC region sequentially. And the author also mentioned that the debate betweent omit of non-renewables and renewables, including cost and energy security. Offering coal to other countries, Australia will gain the funds that can support  other areas. It will promote the development of global trades and communication betweent different countries.

comments:
The first in-text reference should use more own words.
The second argument is not clear and cohesive.]]> 2017-10-26 22:27:10 UTC https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46/wish/201044901 https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46/wish/201044908 2017-10-26 22:27:15 UTC https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46/wish/201044908 https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46/wish/201044915 Lewis and ingrid

There are,however,some disadvantages of energy diversification which should not be ignored. First and foremost, the high price of clean energy is the greatest challenge for energy diversification. Coals are easily to gain and use because of the low costs. Thus, the public do not have motivations to adjust to a new living style
based on expensive energy.consequently,the high cost of energy diversification is the first barrier. Furthermore, it is difficult to improve technology to develop renewable energy source.Using solar energy or wind energy is not easy because of high requirement about technology. According to the Australian Coal Association (2013), Australia has insufficient technologies to develop other renewable energy sources and most energy technologies I are related to coal. This means it is a unsuitable moment for developing energy diversification. Therefore, energy diversification is not a better choice for Australia.]]> 2017-10-26 22:27:18 UTC https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46/wish/201044915 https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46/wish/201044941 There are a number of significant arguments in favour of the greater energy diversification in Australia. It is widely acknowledged that the burning of coal fuels is a significant contributor toward the build-up of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gas in the atmosphere, which have detrimental effects to our living environment. In relation to this, Harding(2008) asserts that the dependence on fossil fuel-based energy will worsen the climate change problem and sustainable energy should be given emphasis to alleviate the problem in the industrialized countries. Thus, it is necessary for these countries to initiate reform to move away with coal energy into more sustainable energy.
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In our opinion, the structure of this body graph is good, but is quite long. Some sentences are too complex. And there are four evidences, while the last three are not very connected to the main point.
The writer said the advantages are in environment and employment in the concluding sentence, but ]]> 2017-10-26 22:27:30 UTC https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46/wish/201044941 https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46/wish/201045076 There are, however, some valid arguments against energy diversification. Firstly, advanced and improved technologies could promote the use of coal to reduce the many environmental effects.This view is supported by The Australia Coal Association (2013),the improvement of carbon capture and storage (CCS ) could efficiently eliminate carbon dioxide emissions.This is an effective approach to use traditional energy reducing pollution.Another reason is associated with Australian economy . The organization also points out that coal energy can obtain a great deal of revenues in Australia .This means that the coal sources could contribute to local economy in Australia.Therefore, the use of traditional energy sources plays a significant role in Australia.]]> 2017-10-26 22:28:36 UTC https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46/wish/201045076 https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46/wish/201045166 Despite these arguments, however, critics are keen to highlight the drawbacks associated with energy diversification. Firstly, the main point is that coal is more reliable compared with other renewable sources such as solar, wind, tidal energy. According to Sinclair (2013), during the 21th century,  Australia has a great deal of coal energy which could satisfy national energy demands. This view suggests that it is unnecessary to generate their renewable energy. In addition, advanced  technology could address these environmental issues resulting form coal .  Some

Comments
1, good structure
2, evidences and supporting sentences are different meanings.
3,
 ]]> 2017-10-26 22:29:36 UTC https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46/wish/201045166 https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46/wish/201045310 There are number of benefits resulting frome alternative energy diversification. Firstly, diversity energy such as wind power, hydro power, wave power and geothermal are the friendly resouces for the environment. These friendly resouces which derived from the nature produce less carbon dioxide and greenhouse gas emissions. Moreover, Australia has large land with endowed with various natural resources. For example, according to Nicholls (2009),  Australia is the leading country for the highest average solar radiation in the world. Using green energy can reduce the pollution and enhance the environment.  In addition, energy diversification provides more job opportunities because new energy exploration requires a significant amount of funding which leads to an increasing new job places in society.  It is referenced that billions of dollar]]> 2017-10-26 22:30:59 UTC https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46/wish/201045310 https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46/wish/201045462 Naysayers of great energy diversification argue that it offers a range of potential drawbacks. First of all, coal provides affordable and reliable electricity in Australia. In fact, Australian as the world ‘s largest coal exports is able to provide reliability for electricity. Due to renewable energy resources such as wind and solar , these materials are unable to provide the mass electricity for the long period. However, coal is the main electronic provider in the past decades. It evidences that coal is more affordable and provides almost 73% electricity for Australia.In addition, coal plays a major economic role in Australia . Sinclair (2013,p.61) argues that Australian economy and energy seurity would be considerably damaged  by removing black coal from as a primary source. This indicates that coal is the foundation of prosperity in Australia which means Australia is unable entirely to abandon coal. Australia needs coal as a major economic income to maintain the Australian economy . The export points out that Australia coal resources are sufficient energy demand beyond the near future. For these reasons, critics argues that greater energy diversification is still some vaild concerns.?]]> 2017-10-26 22:32:44 UTC https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46/wish/201045462 https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46/wish/201051982 There are,however, valid arguments against energy diversification .First of all, some traditional resouces such as coal have significant effects on Australia’s economy and coal industry should be given a priority . According to Sinclair (2013,p.61), Australia.has a significant amount of coal reserves which is easily accessible. This suggests Australian may use cheaper coal because the cost of coal’s exploration and utilization tend to be lower.Moreover, it is worth nothing that advancement in technology have been developing at the rapid pace .The reason of mentioning is that using high-technology and reduce the drawbacks of coals’ use.For instance,carbon capture and storage technology is an advanced rechnology which can be widely used in the industry and daily life .Therefore,not supporting greater energy diversification have these reasons.]]> 2017-10-26 23:34:39 UTC https://padlet.com/karen_fong/vtbp61pt6c46/wish/201051982