Ten years of war and finally, we outsmarted the Trojans with a horse. A HORSE.

#IQ200 #TrojansPlayedThemselves #TooEasy

Offered him immortality, luxury, and eternal love... but nooo, he wants to sleep in his own bed. Unbelievable.

#MenSmh

Let me tell you my life story real quick...[30 minutes later]....and that's why Poseidon hates me.

#Oops #WorthIt

Ate this flower and totally forgot why we even left home. Who needs Ithaca anyway?

#FeelingChill #VibesOverVoyage

You ever just wake up blind and hear some dude yelling his real name as he sails away?

#OdysseusIsTheWorst #DaddyPoseidonHelp

Men are pigs. No, really. I turned them into pigs.

#NoRegrets #TheyHadItComing

Odysseus, my guy, just don't touch Helios' cattle. Thats literally all you have to do

#SpolerAlert:HeDoesItAnyway

New hit single just dropped!! So good, sailors tie themselves up just to listen.

#Can'tResist #NumberOneOnTheAegeanCharts

Was feeling kinda hungry, so i grabbed a quick six-piece sailor meal.

#NomNom #NoRegrets

Came home to find my sacred cows turned into steak. That's it. You're all dead.

#Disrespectful #ZeusHandleThis

If my real husband is back, he'll totally be able to string this bow. No pressure.

#IYKYK #ProveIt

Bro, it was just a little harmless flirting with your wife. No need to---[Tweet interrupted by arrow]

#NotLikeThis

He passed the test. It's really him. Now he can explain where he's been for twenty years.

#ThisBetterBeGood

Sing to me, O Muse, of the man of twists and turns! Actually, let me just write it down this time.

#Epic #Literally