Persuasive Writing share-out by Jennifer Beltagy https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0 en-us 2022-06-02 19:44:55 UTC 2022-12-13 23:12:50 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f44f.png jenniferbeltagy26 https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258360842 Your introduction is excellent- especially the statistic you provided in the hook. It made me want to keep reading!
One thing to work on is maybe incorporating more transition words in your writing. Instead of using "also" all the time, you can use "furthermore", "moreover", "additionally", etc.
Great job! :)]]> 2022-08-10 17:04:51 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258360842 https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258607054 your introduction was good, it instantly hooked me onto ur speech!

i think you could prepare more]]> 2022-08-11 01:00:28 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258607054 https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258607124 Your speech was great, and you even did some research!!
One thing you could improve on is to complete the speech before speaking, so you don't need to say it that it is incomplete.]]> 2022-08-11 01:00:34 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258607124 It was a good topic. https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258607539 You could of used better punctuation.]]> 2022-08-11 01:00:47 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258607539 My feedback https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258607948  - You had good reasons and amazing evidence
- I think you could just do a bit more editing just for capitalization, but otherwise it's really good]]> 2022-08-11 01:01:21 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258607948 caosophia75 https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258610521 You had really great reasons and evidence! Next time, you may also try to focus more on capitalization and punctuation.]]> 2022-08-11 01:05:07 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258610521 https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258611777 You had an awesome speech with many details and even research!
One suggestion is to use more voice variety to speak, so people don't get bored soon.]]> 2022-08-11 01:06:33 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258611777 caosophia75 https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258612253 I like all your evidence and details! I also like your hook!]]> 2022-08-11 01:07:20 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258612253 https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258612324 ur speech was very well written and organized

i think you could add more sources?]]> 2022-08-11 01:07:25 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258612324 I liked how you used many sources https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258612623 2022-08-11 01:07:53 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258612623 Good job. https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258612804 It was a really solid essay with lots of evidence.

The ending was a bit confusing though. Are you speaking for banning books or for books?
 ]]> 2022-08-11 01:08:12 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258612804 I liked how you used lots of evidence https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258614204 2022-08-11 01:10:06 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258614204 https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258615227 it was well explained

however you could use some research]]> 2022-08-11 01:11:40 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258615227 https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258617253 I think it was a fantastic topic and essay.
You said a lot of stuff that wasn't in your essay. You should try to add that stuff in.]]> 2022-08-11 01:14:21 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258617253 caosophia75 https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258617369 I like the topic, and the way you wrote your piece! Also maybe add some research too!]]> 2022-08-11 01:14:30 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258617369 https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258617945 I loved your evidence, and the conclusion was amazing. Your reading was really smooth with almost zero errors, and I loved your use of voice.

I think you could improve on your use of more Ethos, with more informational evidence and explaining your sources. Otherwise, I think you did a great job. ]]> 2022-08-11 01:15:19 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258617945 https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258622236 I liked the evidence. I think you could use a bit more source citing though.]]> 2022-08-11 01:21:41 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258622236 caosophia75 https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258622474 I like all of the evidence and the details! The way you write it makes me feel like your writing is trustworthy!]]> 2022-08-11 01:21:58 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258622474 https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258627044 ur reasons were very valid, felt like i could believe them

maybe more citing?]]> 2022-08-11 01:28:22 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258627044 https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258628774 I really like all the great vocab, and also the names of a lot of things were very impressive. Maybe you can add a bit more explanation about your sources, and also add more details or specific examples, but otherwise really good job. ]]> 2022-08-11 01:30:18 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258628774 https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258630506 ur speech was so well written, i loved the beginning, it was engaging and eloquent


]]> 2022-08-11 01:32:51 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258630506 But the real question is whether it is milk first or cereal first https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258637566 2022-08-11 01:40:32 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258637566 wait if cereal is cereal with milk then what is cereal without milk https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258638109 2022-08-11 01:41:12 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258638109 I like how you used a lot of evidence https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258638298 2022-08-11 01:41:26 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258638298 caosophia75 https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258638349 I like the evidence and the details too! Also i like how funny the essay is.]]> 2022-08-11 01:41:29 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258638349 https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258639256 AMAZING! Very funny, and soooo interesting. I laughed the whole time nonstop, and it was so, like, well, I don't know if I'll ever forget that. it was overall very funny full of evidence. ]]> 2022-08-11 01:42:36 UTC https://padlet.com/jenniferbeltagy26/vl3gvzl9sftedrh0/wish/2258639256