Crucial Conversations by John Steltz https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p Tools for talking when stakes are high. en-us 2019-02-06 15:47:37 UTC 2026-03-03 19:13:50 UTC hello@padlet.com njoseph4 https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/328730571 Overall I was not surprised with my results. I did question myself multiple times when taking the survey. "Sometimes" is used a lot in the questions and I would frequently go back and forth on what I thought.]]> 2019-02-07 14:05:16 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/328730571 njoseph4 https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/328732502 Overall I feel that I do not shy away from conflict.  In my experience it is better to handle crucial conversations right away.  Otherwise the stress created by trying to avoid them or stressing about what could happens make things worse.
I will say that at times I do try to avoid situations where I might have contact with people who I know that are frustrated with me or a situation that I am involved with. Typically when I am avoiding people it is during my personal life. At times I just don't want to talk about or hear people's opinions about the school.]]> 2019-02-07 14:08:35 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/328732502 njoseph4 https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/328745012  I liked the quote from page 80 that says "Lord, help me forgive those who sin differently than I." I am aware of my weaknesses and I strive to improve everyday. Recognizing my own mistakes and weaknesses allows me to not be so harsh in my judgment of others.]]> 2019-02-07 14:27:54 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/328745012 njoseph4 https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/328763623 With more experience with crucial conversations I have become more comfortable having them. They still are not easy and I don't always look forward to them, but my stress level is typically less now than a few years ago. Overall I do a good job of recognizing that I cannot control how someone else feels. Their emotions are their own. Controlling my actions and reflecting on my emotions is all that I can do. ]]> 2019-02-07 14:54:29 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/328763623 asoquet https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/329054748 I think that one barrier is how the colleague perceives me. I had a department member tell me that our department was snotty and therefore thought there was some hidden agenda as to why I had approached this person.  I was honest about how I perceived the rest of the department.  But, the conversation became crucial over something that may not have been crucial because of how I was perceived by this teacher.  Outside of always acting out of love for neighbor, I am unsure of how to overcome this barrier.  I think that another barrier is having someone in a conversation that knows he/she is right (always, right).  I have found it difficult to get a person such as this to really listen to other's suggestions/comments.  Sometimes people act as though they are listening, but really aren't.  I don't know that I really have a way of overcoming this.   Suggestions?

]]> 2019-02-08 02:33:09 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/329054748 jbeyers https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/350609393 Vague But Annoying is probably the “Yeah, but” that hit home the most.   It is easy to turn none issues or insignificant things into bigger issues if you don’t first focus on what exactly is creating your strong emotions...and honestly often times annoyances are more about my tolerance than the other persons actions.]]> 2019-04-11 01:39:59 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/350609393 jbeyers https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/350611315 I think the 2 principles that stick most with me are Start with Heart and Share Your Facts.  It’s really about staying true to your intentions and building from a solid foundation, the facts.  If we keep revisiting these principles I feel like many conversations could be more productive.]]> 2019-04-11 01:48:11 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/350611315 I would say a 5 for a commitment level. I continue to work on myself to improve my abilities to communicate around crucial conversations. Being able to properly communicate and to understand the big picture is what life is about. njoseph4 https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/350761456 2019-04-11 13:31:20 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/350761456 A 5 here as well. Speaking to loved ones around a crucial conversation is easier and yet more difficult at the same time. It is easier as there is already a foundation of love and trust. It is more difficult because there is typically more emotion. njoseph4 https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/350762451 2019-04-11 13:33:23 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/350762451 MrEMiller https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/350957141 I find, currently, that Master My Stories (6) and Move to Action are applicable across many facets of my life. First, Master My Stories is a principle I've been working on applying personally, to fully recognize ways to shift my triggers of annoyance, or justifications for inaction, etc. etc. I've tried to become more self-aware of how I shape the conversations I need to have, or how I approach other's conversations and experiences. I've become more aware of other's stories as well, when assessing what needs to be approached/discussed, or how to understand perspective in action and conversation.  Move to Action is vital as I find myself in a key leadership role at church as we begin a period of transition. Within the last few months, I've had to critically consider how to take dialogue and make it result in viable, necessary action, with a group of individuals all more experienced and older than I am. It is an enlightening experience, and a  welcome, yet exhausting, challenge.

]]> 2019-04-11 20:00:55 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/350957141 MrEMiller https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/350958773 Shows a pattern is readily applicable to repeated student behavior of not applying prior instruction, etc. Additionally, there are often conversations or behavior that, whether colleagues, church members, or students,  feels like the same issue over and over. I need to become more aware of how to address these situations, and not allow the accumulated emotion overshadow addressing the more manageable current issue.

]]> 2019-04-11 20:07:15 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/350958773 Start with Heart and Master my stories are the two principles that I feel would be most helpful in beginning crucial conversations. I picked start with heart because it is important to truly understand what I want for myself and for others. I also really like the Master my Stories sections, because it is so easy to make your OWN interpretations of the facts. "Take control of the story, so they won't control us cknutson3 https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351134322 2019-04-12 13:13:42 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351134322 I would say a 4. The commitment is there, but it all seems to so much to remember. I want to get better at the crucial conversations, but it is sometimes easier to revert back to how I have always handled things in the past. cknutson3 https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351137388 2019-04-12 13:20:27 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351137388 kdekker https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351491185 No brainer...Someone who breaks the rules.  Rules make life easier for everyone.  I love them.  I have little tolerance for adults that continually break them, at least without consequences.  The solution offered by the authors is to choose one's battles when having a relationship with said rule breaker.  Start small. ]]> 2019-04-14 18:09:34 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351491185 2 principles kdekker https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351491688 Keep it factual. Remove emotion.]]> 2019-04-14 18:15:13 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351491688 kdekker https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351491770 5. I am willing to try.]]> 2019-04-14 18:16:00 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351491770 kdekker https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351491862 5.  I like the people in my personal life.  I have to give them by best.  ]]> 2019-04-14 18:17:03 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351491862 kdekker https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351492092 If there isn't shared purpose, there can't be shared results. If one person is emotional/irrational/unfactual, etc. the effectiveness of the conversation weakens to the level of the least willing participant. Result: probs not good.]]> 2019-04-14 18:19:13 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351492092 kdekker https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351492497 Tell the truth.  Own your mistakes. Clean up your messes.]]> 2019-04-14 18:23:42 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351492497 kdekker https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351492726 I'm their colleague, not a supervisor in any way.  When there are decisions to be made in the department where I am supposed to wear a teacher hat AND a dept head hat....well, I only have one head.  I default to teacher hat so my colleagues and I stay equal...and leave the leadership to the guy in charge.]]> 2019-04-14 18:26:07 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351492726 kdekker https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351492987 1.  Create a shared purpose or you'll end up in debate.
2. Keep emotion out of the conversation. Have a purpose. Have a plan. Stick to it.]]> 2019-04-14 18:29:24 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351492987 kdekker https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351493205 No surprises: I like a structured environment. I could stand to look for a little more gray area. It's just that I like black and white so much! ]]> 2019-04-14 18:31:37 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351493205 jsteltz https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351678749 The cases that strike me the most are living up to agreements and avoiding sensitive topics. I do believe both of these, as many of the examples, tie together. I like to think that every member of a team that I am on is part of the team's system of accountability. When a team member does not live up to his/her agreement/responsibility it must be addressed. I find too often, whether with students or colleagues, addressing sensitive topics, especially those around individual accountability are challenging.

]]> 2019-04-15 14:54:47 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351678749 jsteltz https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351679220 The two principles that resonate most with me are Start with the Heart and Make It Safe. It's challenging to stay focused as emotions present themselves. Having the right motives and believing in what is needed to come as a result of the conversation will allow for a more productive conversation. I do believe that these conversations are the most productive when they are had when mutual purpose is established. Once this happens, I can step outside of the content of the conversation and stay focused on what needs to be done.

]]> 2019-04-15 14:56:02 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351679220 jsteltz https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351682651 My commitment level is 5. To advance the mission of our school, to help myself be the best version of myself, I must be committed to these principles. Maybe not so much the principles, but the idea of welcoming crucial conversations that help our students, ourselves, and our colleagues to be successful]]> 2019-04-15 15:04:50 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351682651 jsteltz https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351683596 5.  Since reading the book and having conversations with all of you, I find myself applying these principles with my teenagers at home and in my marriage. Because I am involved in other 'professional' teams outside of this school, I do find myself practicing these principles in those situations as well.

]]> 2019-04-15 15:07:08 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351683596 bcarlson13 https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351843597 For me it's Start with the Facts and a Make it Safe. I think starting with the facts of the situation takes the emotion out of it and it puts the ball in their court to explain their side of the story.]]> 2019-04-16 01:00:14 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351843597 bcarlson13 https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351843933 5.  I'd like to say I've already used some to help approach colleagues/students about a conversation.  It has helped me talk with people regarding schedule concerns without them feeling like they got the short end of the stick and also has helped me with my transparency as a leader when it comes to budgetary concerns.

]]> 2019-04-16 01:02:39 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351843933 bcarlson13 https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351844880 3. I'm not sure why this is so much more challenging at home. Maybe having a 6 and 8 year old who don't listen no matter what I say doesn't help:). I think the role playing we've done in the last few meetings have helped with the work related issues. Maybe try doing the same for everyday situations in future?]]> 2019-04-16 01:08:51 UTC https://padlet.com/jsteltz/vaxbe80ynk8p/wish/351844880