Period 5 Writing Revision Workshop by Brittney Smalley https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab After typing the + sign, make sure to put your name as the subject and then type your response en-us 2024-09-10 21:11:55 UTC 2024-09-13 01:28:00 UTC hello@padlet.com MODEL 4+ Essay bsmalley3_1 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3112857764 2024-09-10 21:12:41 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3112857764 Will Clift https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115033828 The essay did a really good job of keeping a clear central idea. As well as maintaining a proper structure throughout the whole essay.

]]> 2024-09-11 19:49:26 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115033828 Joseph Schwarz https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115035820 What this did well was address the prompt and explain it well with a wide variety of fancy words.

]]> 2024-09-11 19:51:20 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115035820 Joseph Schwarz https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115039503 To help capitalize on this nervous breakdown, Dahl utilizes characterization–specifically character development–through the juxtaposition of love versus hate.

]]> 2024-09-11 19:53:55 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115039503 Francisco Plata https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115044435 The essay was easy to understand and easy to read its format is great and it is structured how it should be.

]]> 2024-09-11 19:57:49 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115044435 Will Clift https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115044501 The thesis provided makes a clear argument and is supportable with the evidence at hand.

]]> 2024-09-11 19:57:54 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115044501 Francisco Plata https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115045586 To help capitalize on this nervous breakdown, Dahl utilizes characterization–specifically character development–through the juxtaposition of love versus hate.

]]> 2024-09-11 19:58:52 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115045586 Trennan Greifendorff https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115045781 This 4+ essay was very clear and included very rich words. It got straight to the point and focused on the prompt. Which helped the readers stay engaged and read through the whole essay without getting bored.

]]> 2024-09-11 19:59:03 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115045781 Trennan Greifendorff https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115048366 "Dahl utilizes characterization–specifically character development–through the juxtaposition of love versus hate."

]]> 2024-09-11 20:00:51 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115048366 Francisco Plata https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115049186 The thesis shows really well what the writer thinks the type of characterization Ronald Dahl uses.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:01:43 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115049186 The explanation was very well and they stayed on the prompt so everything was easy to read and non-confusing. https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115049458 2024-09-11 20:02:00 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115049458 Joseph Schwarz https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115049867 The thesis is written effectively because it is the heart of the paper that answers the prompt. It is written effectively because it smoothly leads from the backround information to the thesis and clearly addreses the prompt.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:02:26 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115049867 Troy Buckland https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115050328 They use quotes and explain the answers very well while giving us enough back ground information to understand what the main point of the writer is.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:02:43 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115050328 To help capitalize on this nervous breakdown, Dahl utilizes characterization–specifically character development–through the juxtaposition of love versus hate. https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115050422 2024-09-11 20:02:45 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115050422 Will Clift https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115050526 To help capitalize on this nervous breakdown, Dahl utilizes characterization-specifically character development-through the juxtaposition of love versus hate.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:02:50 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115050526 Valerie Alvarado https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115050597 To help capitalize on this nervous breakdown, Dahl utilizes characterization–specifically character development–through the juxtaposition of love versus hate.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:02:56 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115050597 Dahl utilizes characterization–specifically character development–through the juxtaposition of love versus hate. https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115050649 2024-09-11 20:02:59 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115050649 Jeremy Spray https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115050752 This essay showed how to layer the base rights. Flowing together and blending to a very good strong essay. Getting to the point, showing the main topics and ideas. It uses strong transition and works

]]> 2024-09-11 20:03:04 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115050752 Maddy Moya https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115050789 This essay was very easy to understand and it flowed great. It gets to the point quickly while still getting it across. They stayed on prompt and it was easy to read.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:03:06 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115050789 Trennan Greifendorff https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115050947 The thesis is very clear and is very straight forward. It answers the prompt correctly and perfectly.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:03:18 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115050947 Francisco Plata https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115051026 A thing that the essay did well that I did not do was explain what the wife was feeling.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:03:24 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115051026 Maddy Moya https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115051554 To help capitalize on this nervous breakdown, Dahl utilizes characterization–specifically character development–through the juxtaposition of love versus hate.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:03:59 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115051554 The thesis is very clear. It follows the prompt perfectly. Makes it easy to understand. https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115051683 2024-09-11 20:04:09 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115051683 Troy Buckland https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115051703 To help capitalize on this nervous breakdown, Dahl utilizes characterization–specifically character development–through the juxtaposition of love versus hate.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:04:10 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115051703 Will Clift https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115052028 Something the model 4+ essay did better than my own was it keep its quotes clean and short.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:04:28 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115052028 Joseph Schwarz https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115052167 It did not use conjuctions or personal programs. Talked about her being phycopathic rather than about characterization.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:04:37 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115052167 Jeremy Spray https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115052373 To help capitalize on this nervous breakdown, Dahl utilizes characterization–specifically character development–through the juxtaposition of love versus hate.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:04:50 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115052373 Maddy Moya https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115052381 The thesis provides a clear argument that can be supported with evidence.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:04:51 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115052381 Poem Becerra https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115052581 What the essay did well was use very good words that helped readers stay intrigued in the story, it also spoke very clearly with great flow.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:05:01 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115052581 The model 4 essay explained very well and I do not think I explained well. https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115052639 2024-09-11 20:05:04 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115052639 Lucero Cardona https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115052765 This 4+ Essay had a clear ACECES which helped all the readers to stay engaged, and to have a better understanding of the story.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:05:10 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115052765 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115052851 They answered the prompt good.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:05:15 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115052851 The thesis was very clear and very obvious on what you had to do. It answers the prompt correctly and perfectly. https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115053060 2024-09-11 20:05:21 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115053060 Xanti M. https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115053080 The example essay was capturing with it's details and short but well done explanations.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:05:23 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115053080 Lex Baluyot https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115053094 To help capitalize on this nervous breakdown, Dahl utilizes characterization–specifically character development–through the juxtaposition of love versus hate.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:05:23 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115053094 Yorbin Lopez 0070163835 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115053163 Dahl utilizes characterization–specifically character development–through the juxtaposition of love versus hate.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:05:27 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115053163 Trennan Greifendorff https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115053266 In my essay I did not do well on the signpost. I wrote 3-4 sentences on it when it should have been a quick and clear idea. Such as, "it tenses up the plot and adds drama to the story."

]]> 2024-09-11 20:05:32 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115053266 Troy Buckland https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115053384 It gives the reader a clear understanding of what the writer is going to be talking about throughout the story.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:05:38 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115053384 Jeremy Spray https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115053527 It clearly states the topics and deas that are going to be presented and to understand the main essay. It simple easy and gest to the point

]]> 2024-09-11 20:05:46 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115053527 Poem Becerra https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115053784 To help capitalize on this nervous breakdown, Dahl utilizes characterization–specifically character development–through the juxtaposition of love versus hate.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:05:58 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115053784 Joseph Schwarz https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115053791 Stay more on topic, will not use conjuctions, and will not persnonal pronouns.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:05:59 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115053791 Will Clift https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115053868 Based on the feedback I received I will shorten my quotes and give more elaboration.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:06:03 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115053868 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115053881 To help capitalize on this nervous breakdown, Dahl utilizes characterization–specifically character development–through the juxtaposition of love versus hate.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:06:04 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115053881 Yorbin Lopez 0070163835 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115054006 Dahl utilizes characterization–specifically character development–through the juxtaposition of love versus hate.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:06:09 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115054006 Francisco Plata https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115054206 I would explain what the wife is feeling and show how and add more to the summary.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:06:21 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115054206 Andrew D https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115054235 The essay gave a clear explanation on how the author uses characterization to describe the characters emotions from the beginning to the end of the story.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:06:24 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115054235 Xanti M. https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115054249  "...Dahl utilizes characterization–specifically character development–through the juxtaposition of love versus hate."

]]> 2024-09-11 20:06:25 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115054249 Bella Parker https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115054296 The writer made sure to clearly explain every part of the story and make it easy to find out what is going on and how they feel about the Lamb to the Slaughter.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:06:29 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115054296 Maddy Moya https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115054594 I didn't explain things well. My thesis and explanation of my evidence could be longer and clearer.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:06:46 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115054594 Lucero Cardona https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115054658 "To help capitalize on this nervous breakdown, Dahl utilizes characterization–specifically character development–through the juxtaposition of love versus hate."

]]> 2024-09-11 20:06:51 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115054658 Jeremy Spray https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115054785 Simple and easy and got to the point, while staying on topic. Summary not too long and states the main topics and ideas

]]> 2024-09-11 20:06:57 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115054785 Troy Buckland https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115054969 It gives quotes and explains well but the conclusuion is not specific to the thesis

]]> 2024-09-11 20:07:10 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115054969 Valerie Alvarado https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115055082 The thesis clearly explains on what characterization the author uses in the story.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:07:17 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115055082 Xanti M. https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115055359 It brings you back to the original question to the prompt and gives an end to the introduction paragraph.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:07:33 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115055359 Trennan Greifendorff https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115055433 I plan on not including words such as, "me, we, us, and so on." I also plan to keep all of the sentences clear and concise, not adding extra information that is not needed.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:07:39 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115055433 Yorbin Lopez 0070163835 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115055621 The thesis is written very well it shows a clear argument with evidence to back it up

]]> 2024-09-11 20:07:49 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115055621 Maddy Moya https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115055668 Explain my thesis and add more of an explanation so my writing is clearer.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:07:51 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115055668 Bella Parker https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115055702  To help capitalize on this nervous breakdown, Dahl utilizes characterization–specifically character development–through the juxtaposition of love versus hate.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:07:53 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115055702 Troy Salvador https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115055921 Something the 4+ essay did was keeps its quotes clean and short.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:08:02 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115055921 Poem Becerra https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115055926 The thesis is written very clearly and answers the prompt well.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:08:03 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115055926 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115056005 It is written effiectivly because it is easy to understand the main idea and had good quotes that made sense with the prompt.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:08:08 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115056005 Reynel Santaromana https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115056396 Based on the feedback I recieved, I plan on explaining better and staying more on topic to revise my essay.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:08:32 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115056396 Valerie Alvarado https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115056616 Something the model did well that I did not was citing evidence.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:08:47 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115056616 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115056639 It cited there quotes which I did not do.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:08:48 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115056639 Lex Baluyot https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115056940 This thesis is written effectively because it is short, it answers the prompt clearly. and can be supported through evidence.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:09:09 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115056940 Bella Parker https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115056949 The thesis is very good because it explains very clearly what the writers opinion is and why they feel this way.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:09:09 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115056949 Sophia Cruzaley https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115057054 The essay is easy to read and is clear about the point. It has a proper MLA format and properly follows the ACECES.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:09:15 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115057054 Aydon Franek https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115057087 The essay did a good job getting your attention with the hook and explaining what was happening the entire time.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:09:16 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115057087 Ben Olson https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115057188 One of the things the essay did well was how it was able to maintain the format.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:09:23 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115057188 Xanti M. https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115057202 I had forgotten a thesis at the end of my introduction paragraph, while the examples was done exceptionally well.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:09:24 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115057202 Troy buckland https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115057263 I plan to cite my evidence in all of my quotes i forgot to cite the evidence.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:09:28 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115057263 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115057410 I plan on adding citations and fix how I put a quote in my topic sentence.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:09:35 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115057410 Andrew D https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115057816 Dahl utilizes characterization- specifically character development through the juxtaposition of love versus hate.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:09:53 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115057816 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115057925 This essay did a very good job with the format and it also did well with explanation and going into detail.


]]> 2024-09-11 20:09:59 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115057925 Yorbin 0070163835 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115058091 I didin't explain things as clearly as i could have done and they used better evidence

]]> 2024-09-11 20:10:09 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115058091 Bella Parker https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115058162 They made sure to indent their paragraphs and cite their evidence.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:10:14 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115058162 Valerie Alvarado https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115058163 I plan on citing evidence and explaining more on the quotes that I used.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:10:14 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115058163 Lucero Cardona https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115058174 The thesis was really clear and it helped with the understanding of the story since it provided supported evidence.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:10:14 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115058174 Xanti M. https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115058607 I plan on shortening my summary, remembering to add a thesis, and communicating my points better.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:10:37 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115058607 Yorbin Lopez 0070163835 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115058691 Stay on topic, explain things better, and try to find better thesis to make my story stronger

]]> 2024-09-11 20:10:41 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115058691 Sophia Cruzaley https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115058794 To help capitalize on this nervous breakdown, Dahl utilizes characterization–specifically character development–through the juxtaposition of love versus hate.


]]> 2024-09-11 20:10:46 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115058794 Poem Becerra https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115059193 Something that the essay did well that I didn't do was use good words.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:11:02 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115059193 Aydon Franek https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115059327 To help capitalize on this nervous breakdown, Dahl utilizes characterization–specifically character development–through the juxtaposition of love versus hate.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:11:08 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115059327 Ben Olson https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115059477 To help capitalize on this nervous breakdown, Dahl utilizes characterization–specifically character development–through the juxtaposition of love versus hate.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:11:12 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115059477 Bella Parker https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115059492 I will make sure to pay more attention to the small details that need to be put in my paragraph.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:11:12 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115059492 Ariana Pulido https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115059655 The essay did really well with answering the prompt and was very well written.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:11:20 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115059655 wes https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115059665 The essay adressed the central idea boldly

]]> 2024-09-11 20:11:21 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115059665 Lex Baluyot https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115060010 Based on the feedback I received I plan to revise my essay by indenting and avoiding contractions.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:11:40 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115060010 Troy Salvador https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115060070 Next time I will indent my paragraphs and put my thesis and the end of my introduction

]]> 2024-09-11 20:11:43 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115060070 Ariana Pulido https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115060368 To help capitalize on this nervous breakdown, Dahl utilizes characterization–specifically character development–through the juxtaposition of love versus hate.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:12:00 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115060368 Poem Becerra https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115060415 I'm going to do better on my analysis sentences.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:12:02 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115060415 Ben Olson https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115060692 The thesis is written effectively because it clearly shows the comparison of love versus hate

]]> 2024-09-11 20:12:14 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115060692 Lucero Cardona https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115060841 A thing that this essay did that I did not do was to have a clear ACECES and a well-supported thesis.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:12:22 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115060841 wes https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115061037 To help capitalize on this nervous breakdown, Dahl utilizes characterization–specifically character development–through the juxtaposition of love versus hate.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:12:30 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115061037 Sophia Cruzaley https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115061807 The thesis is written effectively because it directly answers the question and gives purpose to the essay.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:13:10 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115061807 Troy Salvador https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115062066 They put a good amount of detail and it was well written

]]> 2024-09-11 20:13:25 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115062066 Aydon Franek https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115062845 The this made a clear point to where the story was going, has a argument and the evidence to back it up.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:14:08 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115062845 Andrew https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115062851 The author gives a short summary of the plot of the story and then explains their thesis and how it applies to that summary.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:14:08 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115062851 wes https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115063175 the thesis is written effectively because it clearly states the promt and transitions fro background info to the thesis

]]> 2024-09-11 20:14:22 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115063175 wes https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115064304 the model essay had shorter, straight to the point quotes which i shouldve done

]]> 2024-09-11 20:15:07 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115064304 Sophia Cruzaley https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115064429 The 4+ essay had 2 sentences of commentary which my essay did not.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:15:13 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115064429 Lucero Cardona https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115064554 Something I would do to have a better essay next time would be to have more evidence make sure I can support it, and make sure to make my essay more clear or easy to understand.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:15:22 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115064554 Aydon F https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115064670 it gives a clear argument with evidence to back it up.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:15:30 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115064670 Andrew D https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115065254 The 4+ essay gave a clear thesis at the end of their introduction paragraph, used important words from the quotes, and used only 1 ACECES paragraph.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:16:08 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115065254 wes https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115065372 im going to remeber to indent and make my quotes straight to the point. I will also make a bold, clear-adressing thesis to help

]]> 2024-09-11 20:16:12 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115065372 Andrew D https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115066825 Rewrite my thesis and cite important words from the book.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:17:37 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115066825 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115066923 To help capitalize on this nervous breakdown, Dahl utilizes characterization- specifically character development - through the juxtaposition of love versus hate.


]]> 2024-09-11 20:17:43 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115066923 Aydon Franek https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115067477 It gave a lot of evidence and detail which is what I could have done better.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:18:12 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115067477 Sophia Cruzaley https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115069081 I will add more sentences of commentary and also site evidence with the author last name and page number.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:19:39 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115069081 Aydon Franek https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115069234 I want to make sure I indent and cite my evidence correctly.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:19:48 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115069234 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115070579 The thesis is Written effectively because there's evidence to support the essay and gives it purpose

]]> 2024-09-11 20:21:20 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115070579 Ariana Pulido https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115071241 It clearly answers the prompt while still providing detail as to how character development is shown.

]]> 2024-09-11 20:21:58 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115071241 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115085889 one thing that the model 4+ essay did better than me was having a good format

and

]]> 2024-09-11 20:36:03 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115085889 Ariana Pulido https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115191393 The example essay has a clearly written answer to the prompt, which I do not have. It also has a short and sweet thesis.

]]> 2024-09-11 22:53:10 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115191393 Ariana Pulido https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115192961 I plan to fix the way I have worded my thesis and the answer to the prompt. I will also make my essay as a whole much cleaner.

]]> 2024-09-11 22:55:15 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3115192961 Joshua Zaragoza 0070193654 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3117282582 The essay did a good job with the central idea and keeping it clean and nice. The essay also did very good with the structure and the words they used throughout the whole essay.

]]> 2024-09-12 20:17:23 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3117282582 Joshua Zaragoza 0070193654 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3117284451 To help calm herself down during her breakdown, Dahl uses characterization mainly character development.

]]> 2024-09-12 20:19:38 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3117284451 Joshua Zaragoza 0070193654 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3117284969 The thesis is clear not to hard to read and is very well written all through out not just the thesis but the whole essay

]]> 2024-09-12 20:20:23 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3117284969 Joshua Zaragoza 0070193654 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3117285768 What the essay did that I wouldn't have done well on is explaining and using very intelligent words all throughout the whole essay.

]]> 2024-09-12 20:21:25 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3117285768 Jayden Ryan 0070192207 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3117528985 The essay was great overall, the essay included a clear ACECES which helped viewer further understand the story.

]]> 2024-09-13 00:47:01 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3117528985 Jayden Ryan 0070192207 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3117533743 To help capitalize on this nervous breakdown, Dahl utilizes characterization, specifically character development through juxtaposition of love versus hate.

]]> 2024-09-13 00:49:47 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3117533743 Jayden Ryan 0070192207 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3117540423 The thesis is written correctly and gives a clear argument with the evidence to back it up.

]]> 2024-09-13 00:53:42 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3117540423 Jayden Ryan 0070192207 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3117545140 The essay gave a lot of detail and evidence which better informs the reader of the story which makes the essay better.

]]> 2024-09-13 00:56:13 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3117545140 Jayden Ryan 0070192207 https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3117608689 I should have rewrote my thesis and that I could have worded it better, also the essay was a in class assignment that I couldn't do due to being sick

]]> 2024-09-13 01:28:00 UTC https://padlet.com/bsmalley3_1/v8sl9qfg9xfo9qab/wish/3117608689