Field Notebook by

Pg. 2

mthall4 — 2024-02-01 20:32:20 UTC

"The Sidekick."

Pg. 1

mthall4 — 2024-02-01 20:36:26 UTC

"At the time I first realized I might be fictional, my weekdays were spent at a public-funded institution on the north side of Indianapolis called White River High School, where I was required to eat lunch at a particular time between 12:37pm and 1:14pm by forces so much larger than myself that i couldnt even begin to identify them."

Pg. 1

illoyd4 — 2024-02-06 17:04:37 UTC

"funded"

Pg. 1

illoyd4 — 2024-02-06 17:04:55 UTC

"forces"

Pg. 1

illoyd4 — 2024-02-06 17:05:48 UTC

"larger"

Pg. 2

illoyd4 — 2024-02-06 17:06:12 UTC

"shouting"

Pg. 2

illoyd4 — 2024-02-06 17:06:38 UTC

"rushing"

Pg. 2

illoyd4 — 2024-02-06 17:08:57 UTC

"And as I sat beneath fluorescent cylinders spewing aggressively artificial light, I thought about how we all believed ourselves to be the hero of some personal epic, when in fact we were basically identiocal organiosms colonizing a vast and windowless room that smelled of Lysol and lard."

Pg. 2

illoyd4 — 2024-02-06 17:09:20 UTC

"masticating"

Pg. 2

illoyd4 — 2024-02-06 17:09:36 UTC

"disgusting"

Pg. 2

illoyd4 — 2024-02-06 17:09:48 UTC

"yellow"

Pg. 2

illoyd4 — 2024-02-06 17:10:03 UTC

"follow"

Pg. 3

illoyd4 — 2024-02-06 17:10:17 UTC

"work"

Pg. 3

illoyd4 — 2024-02-06 17:10:32 UTC

"hear"

Pg. 3

illoyd4 — 2024-02-06 17:10:50 UTC

"convulsed"

Pg. 3

illoyd4 — 2024-02-06 17:11:03 UTC

"host"

Pg. 3

illoyd4 — 2024-02-06 17:11:15 UTC

"massive"

Pg. 3

illoyd4 — 2024-02-06 17:11:28 UTC

"reminded"

Pg. 3

illoyd4 — 2024-02-06 17:11:41 UTC

"thousand"

Pg. 3

illoyd4 — 2024-02-06 17:11:57 UTC

"feel"

Pg. 4

illoyd4 — 2024-02-06 17:12:51 UTC

"know"

Pg. 4

illoyd4 — 2024-02-06 17:13:07 UTC

"shut up"

Pg. 4

illoyd4 — 2024-02-06 17:13:19 UTC

"parasite"

Pg. 6

maevekdonaldson — 2024-02-08 19:45:56 UTC

Splitting

Pg. 5

bmulcah — 2024-02-08 19:46:32 UTC

"You're a genius."

Pattern 2

Pg. 17

maevekdonaldson — 2024-02-08 19:46:58 UTC

"...Eerie green coyotes with white eyes."

Pg. 5

bmulcah — 2024-02-08 19:47:19 UTC

"You sound surprised."

Pattern 3

Pg. 6

bmulcah — 2024-02-08 19:49:50 UTC

"I looked up at her."

Pattern 4

Pg. 5

illoyd4 — 2024-02-08 19:52:50 UTC

"'Ever since I was little, I've pressed my right thumbnail into the finger pad of my middle finger..."

Pattern 7

Pg. 12

bmulcah — 2024-02-08 19:53:27 UTC

"I mumbled in reply."

Pattern 4

Pg. 6

maevekdonaldson — 2024-02-08 19:55:54 UTC

"I know, right?"

Pattern 4

Pg. 8

maevekdonaldson — 2024-02-08 19:57:58 UTC

"Let's hang out today."

Pattern 4

Pg. 6

illoyd4 — 2024-02-08 19:59:25 UTC

"...so I cover it up with a Band-Aid to try to prevent infection."

Pattern 4

Pg.6

mthall4 — 2024-02-08 20:00:49 UTC

"She'd dye her hair."

Pattern 5

Pg. 14

bmulcah — 2024-02-08 20:01:41 UTC

"She was a math teacher."

Pattern 2

Pg. 6

illoyd4 — 2024-02-08 20:01:53 UTC

"She shook out her hair..."

Pattern 5

Pg. 8

maevekdonaldson — 2024-02-08 20:02:46 UTC

"I remembered being eleven and carrying a vague but constant fear."

Pattern 1

Pg. 6

illoyd4 — 2024-02-08 20:04:52 UTC

"Daisy Ramirez won't break her promises..."

Pattern 5

Pdf Pg. 12

mthall4 — 2024-02-08 20:05:51 UTC

"Even I found myself annoying."

Pattern 7

Pg. 99

bmulcah — 2024-03-19 18:36:33 UTC

"Through the walls, I could see the whole kitchen suffused with gold light."

Pg. 103

bmulcah — 2024-03-19 18:38:19 UTC

“I wondered why I wanted him to kiss me, and how to know why you want to be with someone, how to disentangle the messy knots of wanting.”

Pattern #5

Pg. 71

maevekdonaldson — 2024-03-19 18:39:52 UTC

"I was thinking about how part of your self can be in a place while at the same time the most important parts are in a different place, a place that can't be accessed via your senses."

"the one"

mthall4 — 2024-03-19 18:40:23 UTC

My stomach really hurt now, like it was twisting in on itself, like the trillions of bacteria within me were making room for a new species in town, the one that would rip me apart from the inside out.

Pg. 81

maevekdonaldson — 2024-03-19 18:41:24 UTC

"And the thing is, when you lose someone, you realize you'll eventually lose everyone."

Pg. 93

maevekdonaldson — 2024-03-19 18:43:35 UTC

"For hours or days, the thoughts would leave me be, and I could remember something my mom told me once: Your now is not your forever."

Pg. 93

maevekdonaldson — 2024-03-19 18:44:05 UTC

"For hours or days, the thoughts would leave me be, and I could remember something my mom told me once: Your now is not your forever."

Pg. 91

bmulcah — 2024-04-09 18:39:53 UTC

"No."

Pg. 95

bmulcah — 2024-04-09 18:40:32 UTC

"Cool shirt."

Pg. 98

bmulcah — 2024-04-09 18:40:53 UTC

"Please."

Pg. 99

bmulcah — 2024-04-09 18:41:11 UTC

"Who?"

Pg. 125

mthall4 — 2024-04-09 18:43:26 UTC

"I split it with my friend; is that okay?"

Pg. 107

maevekdonaldson — 2024-04-09 18:43:41 UTC

"She was as much a person as any other person; you're real, but not because of your body or because of your thoughts."

Pg. 104

bmulcah — 2024-04-09 18:44:44 UTC

"Davis started talking about the stars again -- as the night got darker, I could see more and more of them, faint and wobbly, just teetering on the edge of visibility-- and he was telling me about light pollution and how I could see the stars moving if I waited long enough, and how some Greek philosopher thought the stars were pinpricks in a cosmic shroud."

Pg. 173

bmulcah — 2024-04-09 18:45:53 UTC

"Love ya!"

Pg. 107

maevekdonaldson — 2024-04-09 18:46:06 UTC

"She was as much a person as any other person; you're real, but not because of your body or because of your thoughts."

Pg. 147

mthall4 — 2024-04-09 18:47:53 UTC

"I mean, my father is many things-- but a jogger is not one of them."

Pg. 111

maevekdonaldson — 2024-04-09 18:48:57 UTC

"He looked like a kid now--his watery brown eyes, the fear and fatigue in his face, like a kid waking up from a nightmare or something."

Pg. 113

maevekdonaldson — 2024-04-09 18:50:38 UTC

"I knew how that felt--all my life, I'd been unable to think straight, unable to even finish having a thought because my thoughts came not in lines but in knotted loops curling in upon themselves, in sinking quicksand, in light swallowing wormholes."

Pg. 246

bmulcah — 2024-04-09 18:52:11 UTC

"A necklace is a gift."

Pg. 246

bmulcah — 2024-04-09 18:52:34 UTC

"Fifty thousand dollars is a gift."

pg. 80

2024-04-09 18:52:48 UTC

"He's all alone, too."

Pg. 131

mthall4 — 2024-04-09 18:52:51 UTC

"I can drive."

Pg. 93

maevekdonaldson — 2024-04-09 18:53:24 UTC

"For hours or days, the thoughts would leave me be, and I could remember something my mom told me once: Your now is not your forever."

Pg. 30

maevekdonaldson — 2024-04-09 18:54:27 UTC

"He was wearing his school polo shirt and khaki pants, holding a book at an angle to block the sun as he read."

Pg. 81

2024-04-09 18:57:01 UTC

"For a moment, and only for a moment, I entertained the notion that Davis might've helped his father disappear."

Pg. 2

bmulcah — 2024-04-16 01:02:41 UTC

"Of course I’d long known that I was playing host to a massive collection of parasitic organisms, but I didn’t much like being reminded of it."

Pg. 1

bmulcah — 2024-04-16 01:05:42 UTC

"But I was beginning to learn that your life is a story told about you, not one that you tell."

Pg. 2

bmulcah — 2024-04-16 01:07:12 UTC

"I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans, and I tried to control my breathing."

Pg. 2

bmulcah — 2024-04-16 01:09:55 UTC

"Admittedly, I have some anxiety problems, but I would argue it isn’t irrational to be concerned about the fact that you are a skin-encased bacterial colony."

Pg. 2

bmulcah — 2024-04-16 01:17:21 UTC

""At the cafeteria, where a shrinking slice of my consciousness still resided, Daisy was telling Mychal that his averaging project shouldn’t be about people named Mychal but about imprisoned men who’d later been exonerated."

Pg. 2

bmulcah — 2024-04-16 01:21:16 UTC

"She shook out her hair, with so red-they-were-pink highlights."

Pg. 17

bmulcah — 2024-04-16 18:34:56 UTC

"Russell Pickett, the controversial CEO and founder of Pickett Engineering, wasn't home when a search warrant was served by the Indianapolis police Friday morning, and he hasn't been home since."

Pg. 103

bmulcah — 2024-04-16 18:36:59 UTC

“I wondered why I wanted him to kiss me, and how to know why you want to be with someone, how to disentangle the messy knots of wanting.”

Simple past (Pg. 111)

mthall4 — 2024-04-16 18:37:25 UTC

"I opened it."

Pg. 225

bmulcah — 2024-04-16 18:38:40 UTC

"It could survive months outside a body, waiting for a new host."

Pg. 225

bmulcah — 2024-04-16 18:39:30 UTC

"Sometimes it happens because you ingest someone else's C. diff, which is slightly different from your own, and it starts mixing with yours, and boom."

Pg. 229

bmulcah — 2024-04-16 18:40:14 UTC

"A spasm of nausea lurched through me, and I vomited, the pain in my ribs blinding, as Mom grabbed me by the arm."

Simple Past (Pg. 111)

maevekdonaldson — 2024-04-16 18:41:45 UTC

"He looked like a kid now"

Pg. 225

bmulcah — 2024-04-16 18:42:12 UTC

"It could survive months outside a body, waiting for a new host."

Pg. 118

2024-04-16 18:42:13 UTC

"I swiped right, watching us all get younger.

Pg. 229

bmulcah — 2024-04-16 18:42:33 UTC

"A spasm of nausea lurched through me, and I vomited, the pain in my ribs blinding, as Mom grabbed me by the arm."

Pg. 119

maevekdonaldson — 2024-04-16 18:46:17 UTC

"Mom kept doing CPR on him until the ambulance came."

Pg. 145

bmulcah — 2024-04-16 18:47:21 UTC

"As I walked up to the Pickett house, I could see two place settings at one corner of Davis's huge dining room table."

Pg. 1

bmulcah — 2024-04-16 19:16:40 UTC

"I might be fictional, my weekdays were spent at a publicly funded institution on the north side of Indianapolis called White River High School, where I was required to eat lunch at a particular time — between 12:37 P.M. and 1:14 P.M. — by forces so much larger than myself that I couldn’t even begin to identify them."

Pg. 2

bmulcah — 2024-04-16 19:20:24 UTC

"By cell count, humans are approximately 50 percent microbial, meaning that about half of the cells that make you up are not yours at all."

Pg. 15

bmulcah — 2024-04-16 19:25:43 UTC

"I opened up my phone and connected to the night-vision camera, which wasn’t password protected."

Pg. 9

bmulcah — 2024-04-16 19:31:26 UTC

"Lies,” I answered, and, before we set off, I drove Harold over to the front entrance and waited while Daisy threw away her milk."

Pg. 74

bmulcah — 2024-04-16 19:33:17 UTC

"She took a bite of her burger and mostly swallowed, before saying, “This lawyer guy isn’t going to try to take back the money, is he?”

Pg. 140

bmulcah — 2024-04-17 00:30:38 UTC

"Thoughts are just a different kind of bacteria, they are colonizing you."

Pg. 141

bmulcah — 2024-04-17 00:31:45 UTC

"I grabbed hold of the IV pole and took a few shuffling steps."

Pg. 141

bmulcah — 2024-04-17 00:32:26 UTC

"I didn't care."

Pg. 1

bmulcah — 2024-04-17 00:33:55 UTC

"I might be fictional, my weekdays were spent at a publicly funded institution on the north side of Indianapolis called White River High School, where I was required to eat lunch at a particular time — between 12:37 P.M. and 1:14 P.M. — by forces so much larger than myself that I couldn’t even begin to identify them."

Pg. 1

bmulcah — 2024-04-17 00:34:37 UTC

"But I was beginning to learn that your life is a story told about you, not one that you tell."

Pg. 2

bmulcah — 2024-04-17 00:36:47 UTC

"His dad was about to be arrested for bribery or something, but the night before the raid he disappeared. There’s a hundred-thousand dollar reward out for him.”