I can't go to my mom's house but I can go to my grandmas.One time my mom asked if she could take me and my sister to come eat with my mom's side of the family and my parents said yeah but who's going to take them.my and my sister start to say ¨why can she bring us?¨as me and my sister were confused.this is why my life is not normal

Other time we wanted to go swimming at my moms  but my grandma has to be there or my older brother.it was a super hot day me,my cousin and my sister wanted to go swimming because my mom has a pool but my grandma said yeah only if someone watchins you.my cousin says ¨but isn't aunt k home¨ my grandma replies to say ¨yeah but i don't know¨ Like something is off. 

Another time we were going to go bowling but we didn't because my brother couldn't take us. When my parents said that you can see in my sisters eyes like why why this makes no sense like what are u not telling me. Another reason why my life is not normal.

Everyday I think to myself why can't life be normal, why can't my parents get along, why does it seem like it's me.deep deep inside of me i feel like everyone thinks i'm fine but i'm not i'm really confused. 

 I start putting my mouth guard in while she talks to the other players deciding who is playing out first and who is sitting on the bench. I start shaking my leg up and down getting ready to say our cheer then it's game time. My nerves are taking the best of me. I look out to the bleachers and I see my mom and my teachers. I looked over to see what the team i was facing and looking to see there weaknesses. They looked good and their warm up wasn't that bad. I start panicking about how I'm supposed to save all these shots coming from these players. If they score I'm going to blame myself. But then referee blows his whistle telling us the game is about to start. The team already saying there cheer and going on the field. My coach is still telling us positions and how we should play. They seem well prepared so im not sure if were winning this or not. Were saying our cheer and were heading to our positions. I ran to the net to try and get the nerves away. It helped a little bit but not much. 

The referee asks if I'm ready while I give him a thumbs up. He blows his whistle and the other team starts passing around the ball. But my teammate grabs the ball and starts heading down the field. Everyone else is running down with her for a crossover then a shot. They try to get the ball from her but she just keeps going. The time comes where it's her time to cross over the ball. She kicks it to another teammate and the girl kicks the ball into the net and we score. My nerves just dropped in relief that we might win this game. It's now 1-0. 

We all get back into our positions ready for the next play. The other team starts passing it around getting the ball to the sides of the field. I start getting nervous again as they keep running down the field. There getting ready for a shot. I started breaking down where I should position myself to get in the best defensive spot. I line up straight in the middle with my hands out ready to save it. She shoots the ball. I got it. For a moment there i felt powerful like nothing can make me nervous about losing this game ever again. Well i was wrong. I start getting worked up over my punt. What if its bad? Well just have to see. I punt the ball like never before making it across the half line while the other team tries to get the ball. It bounces over their head and my teammate gets the ball and starts running down the field. Everyone is trying to get the ball from her but she's too fast. She gets to the net and passes towards the middle from the corner of the field. The ball curves into the net and she scores. My body flowing with energy knowing we have the chance of winning this game.

12 minutes passed and i havent touched the ball once. We keep scoring which is good but also i feel a bit down knowing that the emotions from the other team is probably discouraging. It's their ball now and they start passing it around getting it past our defence. I start getting nervous and shaky again because they're coming in fast. Maybe they got some kind of switch and are doing their best to score. What if they do score? They shoot but it was a toe ball and was not good enough. It comes towards my stomach and I almost spit out my mouth guard but I run to the 18 line and punt the ball to one of our forwards. The time is running out. Only 2 minutes left on the clock and our middys and forwards were running to the goal trying to get another shot in. They shoot but it doesn't go in. We all sighed and ran back to try to defend now. Their goalie has a bad punt and our fowards get the ball again. They shoot one more time and score. We all start cheering. The score is now 3-0. We have our 1 min to talk then we can get ready for the next quarter. 

We do our cheer now we're back into the game. I start biting down on my mouth guard again being nervous not knowing what to expect next. What if they know our plays and got it all figured out?What if they score? Will it be my fault for not saving it? Will they keep scoring? I can't help but overthink everything. I mean it's only the second quarter which means they have plenty of time to get themselves ready to win. I'm nervous but I won't show it. I can't.

The whistle is blown. The other team starts passing the ball really fast. All of them coming from the sides of the fields. I start shaking wondering where's my defence. There already near the corner flag struggling to get the ball closer to the net. Looking for a passover and I see someone front there team right next to me. I start getting scared and keep one eye out for the girl. They're looking around still waiting for someone to pass the ball to. I'm trembling and I keep overthinking. Thankfully my defence gets the ball and now and we're all racing to get to the other end. We might even be able to make offsides if we run fast enough. They start running fast but the other team's stopper gets the ball and kicks it far straight down the middle. It bounces over everyones head. It's up to me now to run to the ball and get it before they do. They all start running towards me. The ball goes over my head. It keeps bouncing closer and closer to the net. I can't let it go in. Not right now. Not ever. I can't just let someone like a stopper to kick the ball into the net like that. People will laugh at me. Im at the edge of the box and I start sprinting to the net. I dive right before it goes in, stopping the ball. Everyone cheering and saying my name. I won't be a laughing stalk. They have to see me and a good goalie now. I hurry up and run to the edge of the box. Everyones cheering me on saying nice save. I punt the ball like never before going over the halfway mark. I can't believe I did it. Forwards and middys running up the field trying to get the ball to go in the net. One of my teammates with the ball took a straight nice pass into the middle making it possible for someone to kick it in. We scored and now the scoreboard says 4-0 and I try not to overthink about the next start of the game. We might really win. I won't be considered the worst goalie ever. I don't want to get my hopes up though because maybe they might score 6 more points beating us. I mean my teams pulled off 6 points in one quarter so maybe they can. But I can't think about that. 

The game keeps on going and ten minutes later they call half time. Everyone giving me high fives and patting me on the back saying good save. I lay down while my head starts spinning circles. I can't believe all that overthinking got me to save that ball. I didn't bring a water bottle. I start getting light headed. My friend came up to me asking if I was ok. I think I am. I start breathing fast not knowing why. It's really hot outside and I'm wearing a long sleeve. I ask her if i can take a drink of her water. Thankfully she said I could. Her water was as cold as ice and it tasted so good. I was relieved that I just dropped off my back knowing we're going to win this game. I start getting this burst of energy feeling like I can run a million miles. 

My coach starts talking about how we've been playing but also reminds us to not be too lazy either. Everyone is stretching and listening to our next plays. I start jumping up and down thinking of what they could possibly do next. I mean they're not that bad. But they're also not that good either. But all of a sudden my coach asks if I want to go out of the net for the next quarter which I think sounds fun. Although it's a bit scary considering someone shorter than me and that has less experience as a goalie will be in net but if i just do my best she won't even have to touch the ball. She tells me I'm going to be center forward which means I have to pass the ball to the other center forward to pass the left forward so they can run with the ball down the line. 

The buzzer buzzes and we know it's time to do our cheer and get back on the field. I run to my position to scare the other team a bit just telling them I'm good. He blows his whistle and I pass the ball to my teammate. I run down the field down to their defence but making sure I don't get offside. My teammate runs with the ball down the sideline while I position myself for a nice goal. She passes it to me and I score. I get excited while everyone cheers me on. I hear one of the other girls from the other team saying that I'm really good. I run back down to the middle again ready for the next play. 

The other team starts passing the ball around and I start running towards this one girl who has the ball now. I grab the ball asn start running down the sidelines looking for a pass I can make. I see one of my teammates in the middle. I go in and position myself to make a pass to her. I kick the ball over their heads going straight to my teammate. She heads the ball into the net scoring. Although she scored, everyone congratulated me on the great pass. The whole forwards and middys start high fiving me and my teammate that scored. I hear my parents say good job knowing that they are proud of me. I hear my coach next saying a nice kick as well. I feel bad knowing that it's now 6-0 but I also like the feeling of winning. But I don't want to think about that. I got to think positive. 

The other team starts off with the ball again as everyone on my team starts slowing down, getting lazy thinking that we already won the game. I see the other team start looking at each other as if they have signals going off telling each other to do a certain play. I get ready knowing that my team is not going to get the ball this time. They start passing the ball around and I see 2 people from each side running down the field. The girl with the ball boots it over the defense's head and goes over. The other team starts running to the ball like crazy and I start getting nervous because they're closing in. I start yelling at defence to hurry up and run back but it's too late. They're near the net and they shoot. My heart just drops as the ball goes into the net. All my hopes are gone. Even though we're still 5 points ahead, I feel like I just let my team go by stepping out of the net and letting them have that goal. But I see someone from my team come up to me. She goes close to my ear and says it's not my fault and it's ok to make a simple mistake. I look up and see the smile on her face. I see the shine in her eyes knowing she's not gonna let the ball get close ever again. I get up and get hyped not letting my eye off the ball. It's our ball now. We will win this.

I look to the stopper on our side and they give me a look and nod to me telling me to run to the edge where defence is. I pass her the ball and start running down the field. I hear people marking me telling someone to watch me. But what they don't see is one of my teammates running down the sideline. There's only 1 minute on the clock. I look at my mom and she looks at me and grins. I start running faster standing side by side next to defence making sure I'm not offside. The teammate with the ball kicks it to the girl running down the sideline while I stand in the middle waiting for a perfect pass. 30 seconds left and she passes it to me. It goes pretty high and I jump up and head it into the goal. I pause for a second thinking of what I just did. I see my teammates running towards me and it looks like they're going in for a huge hug. I'm just standing there in shock that I just did that. The time goes off and now I just got myself into this huge hug with my teammates cheering me on for that goal. We all get off the field with huge smiles on our faces. I see my coach smiling in the back and she puts her hand up for a high five. I can't believe I just did that.

It's now the last quarter and it goes by faster than ever. We're all tired just trying to end this game making sure they don't score but we do. We're at 7-1 now. Everyones getting in their positions. We zoom straight through their players and go in for a shot. Somehow ever since that kick a switch went on inside everyone's head telling them not to make the same mistake. We all know what to expect from this team. We've played them for these last 3 quarters. But 10 minutes passed and the score was now 9-1 as 2 of my other teammates scored twice in the last few minutes. I see their goalie getting mad and upset that they're losing but someone has to lose. Times about to go out and everyones clumped up in the middle trying to look for a pass. We have 20 seconds left to make the score 10-1. I shoot and score the last point of the game. Everyone is cheering me on. Even referees are giving me fist bumps. 

We now have won our very last game of the year. Pretty good for someones first time playing goalie and a forward i'd say so myself. Nothing feels more powerful then to beat someone in a game. I still do feel pretty guilty from winning but also I feel really good. Everyone is saying my name, giving me high fives and fist bumps. I like this feeling. I'll just have to wait for the next season to feel it all again.