Kiara.C Google Sites Peer Feedback 2021 - 2022 by Kiara Chadha https://padlet.com/28kchadha/uvon2xult9yqnf61 Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2021-10-04 15:28:08 UTC 2025-11-21 17:23:09 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/2764.png Dani 💖 28dlameira https://padlet.com/28kchadha/uvon2xult9yqnf61/wish/1796826689 I loved your piece so much, but I do have one suggestion. I think your piece could improve so much if you really do into detail about why you love ice skating. But other than that, you did amazing!]]> 2021-10-06 15:00:49 UTC https://padlet.com/28kchadha/uvon2xult9yqnf61/wish/1796826689 Chahna:> https://padlet.com/28kchadha/uvon2xult9yqnf61/wish/1801026519 Kaira the same I can’t live without at least one game day with popcorn and candy and just playing with cards and my family!! I love reading as well and I usually go to the public library!! And go to the reading nook!! And do some homework there!! I do not know how to play piano at all!!
The water and sun, sand is the perfect place to basically anything there! And the beach is the canoeist place to do anything there!    I think you should work on giving details on your dislikes!
]]> 2021-10-07 22:19:53 UTC https://padlet.com/28kchadha/uvon2xult9yqnf61/wish/1801026519 Izzy ✨🔥✨ 28icarissimo https://padlet.com/28kchadha/uvon2xult9yqnf61/wish/1920883901 Hey, Kiara! A strength in your memoir was that you really did a great job on elaborating each detail of what you looked like. It was almost like I was there with you. An example would be when you said “My prickly earrings touched my silk skin”, and so on.Another thing in your piece that was very powerful was when you talked about how you hand to eat big gulps of air, or your chocolate eyes. I thought it was really powerful and a good way to show the reader how you were feeling. One thing that I would say you could change if you’d like, is that you can check your use of grammar, specifically when you were describing your skin. Try to make is sound smooth like butter. Don’t tell us, show us. ]]> 2021-11-30 16:46:09 UTC https://padlet.com/28kchadha/uvon2xult9yqnf61/wish/1920883901 Another comment from Chahna https://padlet.com/28kchadha/uvon2xult9yqnf61/wish/1923281098 I love the little cliffhanger in the beginning of the piece! Your writing peace is so strong with all of the details that you used in the piece!The details that you used in the peace are amazing and I loved reading your piece and you're cute younger brother made me smile! One thing that I noticed in your writing piece is that just maybe adding a little bit of detail in you learning/ learned lesson but I LOVE YOUR WRITING PIECE!!!!!!]]> 2021-12-01 16:53:12 UTC https://padlet.com/28kchadha/uvon2xult9yqnf61/wish/1923281098 AVERY 😙😏😝 28asalinger https://padlet.com/28kchadha/uvon2xult9yqnf61/wish/1926290793 HIIII! One star that I saw in your writing piece “the line” was a lot of description about what you and the people around you looked like. I was left with a clear picture in my head of the scene. An example was “my one year old brother's same chocolate eyes stayed on me.” This gave me a clear picture of what he looked like. Another star that I saw in your piece was a lot of good, and meaningful internal dialogue. One example that I really liked was “all I could think about was, what if I got the line wrong? What if I missed saying my line like always.”  This helped me to get a better picture of the exact situation you were in. One more star, I loved all the figurative language you added. For example, “My heart was racing as fast as a car, going 160 mile per hour” Great writing to, BYEE]]> 2021-12-03 00:14:25 UTC https://padlet.com/28kchadha/uvon2xult9yqnf61/wish/1926290793 Oop (Avery) 28asalinger https://padlet.com/28kchadha/uvon2xult9yqnf61/wish/2086268697 Starting with a wish because I saw one instantly, you may want to change the secentane “exhausted after her soccer team game which was held at 9 in the night which she gladly won.” The wording in this scentane doesn’t really make sense and could be broken up or changed. Insted, you could say “exhausted after her soccer game, which was held at 9 in the night. Her team scored an incredible win.” This would help the sentence make more sense and be more understandable to the reader. Now for a star, some of your wording was incredible. For example “picture a boy waking up in his soft bed after a long night.” This description really paints an image in the reader's mind of the scene you are trying to describe. Your can almost see an image of the boy and his bed. Another star I saw was some of your transitions. They were unique and set up the story in a different way. For example “Seemingly”. This drew me in to read more and continue. 


]]> 2022-03-09 15:07:12 UTC https://padlet.com/28kchadha/uvon2xult9yqnf61/wish/2086268697 Lucy who is listening to “Counting Stars” currently. (Not that it matters) 28lpanas https://padlet.com/28kchadha/uvon2xult9yqnf61/wish/2087042557 Heeeeeeyyyyyyy Kiaaaaarrrrrraaaaaaaaa! I really loved your writing! One thing I really enjoyed was your hook. The reason I liked your hook so much is because, well, it really hooked me! I felt like I was speeding throughout the girl’s busy schedule with her. Yet the writing didn’t speed by, not in a bad way! Reading your hook made me really feel what the girl was feeling. It’s very convincing and proves an interesting point. Another incredible thing about your essay was your transition word choices, such a “given all the information noted,”. I loved all of your transition word choices very much. They really fit with the story. You used so many, which also fixed up the puzzle for me. Other than that, there was one thing that didn’t exactly fit and could probably have been better worded, or changed. This was the part of your hook when you said, which was held at 9 in the night which she gladly won. I feel you used the word too much. I know I said I loved the rush, which I do, but that was a bit too rushed. Instead of saying that, I think you could’ve said something along the lines of; “Her game had been held extremely late, going into nighttime, which she admirably won.” Other than that, your essay was amazing! Anyway byeeeeeeee KiArAaaaaAAAAaaa]]> 2022-03-09 23:01:56 UTC https://padlet.com/28kchadha/uvon2xult9yqnf61/wish/2087042557