So I have this attitude that whenever I wanted to talk to you, I write in my notes. I don’t know I am more vocal when I am writing. That’s why whenever I have the urge to chat you I just put it in my notes. And I realized that I have my Padlet to write on. I don’t know if I will send this to you someday , you might think this is a little obsessive pero nvm para dli nasad ko sigeg sinamok sa imo . Sooooo to jhoram , these are my thoughts whenever I misses you.

If this will work or nahhh (probably yes) I hope we wont regret that we crossed our boundaries from friendship to something deeper like this.

XOXOXO

12/16/24

I hate this feeling gyud . Feel nako dli tika gaka reach. Feel nako any moment ma lessen imo feelings nako

Fuck this feeling dli ko gusto mag Halik ani

you were in pain hearing those stories from me, once again , I am deeply sorry jho, I was naive and vulnerable that time. I also was in deep pain hearing that story from you. Thinking I wasn't the first choices but rather I was the back-up plan. the second choice.

We were both shocked but we also accepted and move on focusing on our relationship. I like how mature of you to solve it, jho. taking initiative because you're always like that . you really love me kay you wouldn't talk to me or exert effort if you really don't want to continue this relationship. I'm sorry if you thought I want to end this, i'm sorry I said that word " that I don't want to be with someone who will not accept me" I doubt your love jho, Im sorry. I was thinking that when you hear it you don't want me. But I should've known better, I should have known that you love me so much you cannot do that one easily. I am really thankful for all the love jho. For the past 296 days with you was the most amazing day of my life, thinking that I have a man who really loves me. I will entrust na my worries and pain to God jho. We cannot change na our past but we can focus on our future. We can focus now.

Let's just hold each other's hand until the end of time jho. I fucking Love you Jhoram Narsico. I will marry you pa in the church. We will build our house pa with a library on it and your gaming room and we have this cute little dog running around while we cook our dinner. Can't wait to have this future with you, Jho.

I entrust this to you Lord. Let me be with this man forever and always. For better or for worst I'll stick to this person.

- Josie .

Im writing here kay i noticed that i haven't write anything for you in a while. I was about to write in my notes but then I remember I still have this padlet.

it was 9 months ago when I wrote something here and that was the time that our relationship got bumpy. and it's nice to see how our relationship turns out after our talk at the parking lot in Ketkai. our relationship become more meaningful, full of understanding and most importantly we are more connected to each other. It is like we understand each other without the barriers that are holding us back.

spending the days and months with you were the best days of my life. I keep on thinking about you, jho. every single day, every action that I do, I think about you. and yes it is almost my period, so im a bit of emotional now. I just love you so much, jho that I think that breaking up or letting us go would be my biggest downfall. it would kill me. and I cant bear to imagine a life without you, jho. so lets keep this working. lets keep loving each other because I will never let you go nor leave you.

i love you. forever.

5.26.2026

-Love,

Josie

I have this feeling that this day is different. I was thinking about this the whole time at the car. i just feel it. Yes, every moment with you is special but theres something about today that will stay with me and I would always look back as one of my best memories with you.

this is just our normal date. We started the day with you in a class as I wait in a cafe while reading a book. After that, we register at the Freedom run, went to buy shoes, and eat at Ribs and Bibs. As we were going home, we then have our unplanned "making love" Lol.

and yes, it was different this time because as much as I tend to avoid the thoughts of God and family while we were doing the deed. It was the opposite of it-I was praying. I sometimes throw random thoughts thanking God how lucky I am to have you and shrug it trying to focus but earlier was different. I was talking to him, thanking him how lucky I am that I get to kiss you, to hold you and just you entirely. and when we were cuddling, and you thought i was sleeping, I was thinking about you the whole time. I was thinking if I can work abroad knowing i'll be missing you immediately. I tried my best not to cry which eventually I did. and for a couple of minutes I shed a tear or two but your phone is loud I cant focus hahhaha

and as we were going home, it hit me that its the month of June. I always have this post in X, I tweeted this one and it says " do not settle for less, wait for someone who will pursue you" something like that ( you can check it in X, I have pinned it for how many years. And that was it, I am living the life that I wanted, I am living an answered prayer. and you, my love, is my answered prayer. I know God is good to me because he gave a man like you for me to love and for you to love me. Here you are, standing so tall, so caring and loving to me. what else could I ask for? I am so lucky.

I love you, jhoram. let's continue to pray for our relationship.

ps. its 2 in the morning, I have already posted a finished entry but accidentally deleted it coz I was using my phone. So here I am writing it again in a laptop. I like the first one since I poured my heart but this will do. Ill sleep now.

and for the great sex. still thinking about it and will always think about it as one of the best thing that we've done. mwahhh

i love you, Jho <3