Definition: According to Erikson this is the most important stage. In this stage a person learns to either trust or mistrust the world according to how they are treated by their caregivers, tending to their needs.

Experience: I interviewed my 18-year-old daughter for this exercise. When she was a baby, she was not very fussy unless she needed a diaper change, food or comforted. Once she realized she needed something she would start making noise quietly and increased her noises until she was either screaming or her mother or I fulfilled her need. She rarely got to the point where she was screaming. Most of the time she made noises quietly as she knew someone would come to her rescue, especially after she was a year old. Her mother and I were unknowingly fulfilling a large part of our daughter's development of hope as our parenting instincts kicked in. As I would later learn, our actions coincided with the writings of Gabriela Martorell in her book The Child. Martorell wrote, "children develop hope: the belief they can fulfill their needs and obtain their desires" (150). Admittedly at the time for us it was all about the prevention of our daughter having a nuclear breakdown.

Solution: My daughters solution came to be trust as she trusted we would take care of her. In turn she became a trusting child of those close around her. In middle school she learned that not everyone was to be trusted due to some of her "friends" actions. Today she still has trust with certain people although others have lost hat trust with her.

Citation Source:

Martorell, G. (2022). Child (3rd ed.). McGraw-Hill Higher Education (US). https://yuzu.vitalsource.com/books/9781264461493

Definition: In this stage a person learns that they are able to do things on their own or that they aren't capable which leads to feelings of self-shame and self-doubt.

Experience: When my daughter was in this age range, we taught her how to do many things including the names of her body parts. She knew how to walk at this age and was still learning how to master the craft of movement, she fell quite often and I used to call her my baby giraffe as they had similar clumsiness. One of her favorite things to do was watch the Backyardigans. We did not have cable tv throughout most of her childhood as a way to prevent her from becoming a "tv" kid like I was. Instead, we bought DVD's of her shows as a way to control what she had access to and ensure she was watching something that would help her develop. At first, she would point to a DVD she wanted to watch, which allowed us to develop her speaking skills as we would always say what the show was called and eventually, she would start saying it as well. We would also, be the ones to take the DVD out of the case and put it in her DVD player. As she grew, she wanted to be the one to put the DVD in the player, we taught her how to handle it and do it so she didn't scratch the DVD. We lost a few DVD's in the process but we never yelled at her for trying and encouraged her to do it herself. Ultimately, it led to her only asking to watch a show, being able to pick her show out, take the DVD to her room, put it in herself, then returning the DVD back to its spot once she was done watching it. She loved doing this as she felt like a big girl and could do big girl things. Martorell explained that autonomy is, "our total picture of our abilities" (155). When my daughter was around this age she thought she could do anything and she definitely tried many things on her own. Through time with both of us parents involved on a daily basis we taught her she could and how to do the things she wanted to do.

Solution: My daughter received autonomy by learning that she was able to do things on her own and was encouraged to do so. She was very independent as a child even though that meant she did things she shouldn't have. As an adult she is still very independent and only comes to me after she has tried to do something first for my help.

Citation Source:

Martorell, G. (2022). Child (3rd ed.). McGraw-Hill Higher Education (US). https://yuzu.vitalsource.com/books/9781264461493

Definition: When a child wants to do something, they know they need to do and are given the chance to, with encouragement of accomplishment they will continue to do so in a more productive sense in their future as their abilities and understanding strengthen. If they try to do something and are always being put down because they do not do it right or are not fast enough, the child develops a sense of guilt for not being good enough and their initiative will dwindle until they no longer have any.

Experience: While reading the text for this course I came across words that automatically made me think of something that happened when my daughter was very young. Martorell wrote, "Preschool children can do—and want to do—more and more" (210). It reminded me of when my daughter was within this age range our German Rottweiler named Kane was her absolute best friend. She took a lot of interest in everything that involved her "Kaners." She was so interested in him that she decided she would be in charge of taking care of his needs. One of these self-given chores was to fill his food bowl every morning. She took the initiative one morning by using one of her sister's tea cups to transfer food from the food bin into his food bowl. It took her about 15 minutes to do so but she wouldn't stop until it was done and Kane supervised her every move. Once she was done Kane ate a few bites and she stood next to him and rubbed his head saying now you're not hungry anymore. She made a bit of a mess while filling his food bowl. She looked to me and told me she had made a mess and instead of focusing on the mess I told her not to worry about it, Kane will take care of it and I told her how well of a job she did and allowed her to pick what she wanted to eat for breakfast since she did such a good job. By taking care of her beloved best friend, she found her own purpose.

Solution: Through her own initiative she provided herself with a purpose which was encouraged by her parents. Even though she was not perfect at her action her parents did not point this out, which prevented the thought of guilt.

Citation Source:

Martorell, G. (2022). Child (3rd ed.). McGraw-Hill Higher Education (US). https://yuzu.vitalsource.com/books/9781264461493

Definition: The stage in which a child finds something they like to do and strive to become good at it while learning the importance of hard work. When they fail at becoming good at something they feel less than the others who are good at things.

Experience: When reading that Martorell wrote, "involves learning how to work hard to achieve goals" (275), reminded me of a goal my daughter developed when my daughter was in this age range. She formed a strong interest in drawing and decided she wanted to be an artist when she grew up. Like other children her age her drawings were very rudimentary. She asked me to draw something that she had already drawn, then she compared the two pictures and asked me why her drawing is not as good as my own. I told her that it was only better looking because I had more experience drawing than she has. I told her that if she keeps drawing and learning about different ways to draw, one day she will be better than me. That evening when she went to sleep, I went to the attic to find a few boxes I had from when I was a kid and I found an old sketch book filled with pictures I drew when I was around her age. The next day, I gave her the sketchbook. She looked through every page and once she was done, I asked her to pick a picture, tell me what it was and I would draw it again. She chose a house so I drew one. This time there were a lot more details along with shading and other things. I again let her compare the two and we pointed out the differences. Drawing has always been a staple of her life that she has rightfully, felt very good at. Now a senior, she has a senior project for one of her classes. One portion of the requirement is to showcase something that she has become good at. On her own she decided to do the exact same thing I did with her for herself. She is using one of the pictures she did at a young age and drawing the same subject now to show how far she has come in her skill

Solution: By explaining to her that she was not less than and how skills are mastered through hard work she became industrious at drawing. If I had just told her how bad her drawings were compared to my own, she would have felt inferior.

Citation Source:

Martorell, G. (2022). Child (3rd ed.). McGraw-Hill Higher Education (US). https://yuzu.vitalsource.com/books/9781264461493

Definition: The stage where children explore different roles to find out where they fit in and who they are as a person.

Experience: My daughter is currently in this age range. She spent a few of these years living with her mother, who has a vastly different lifestyle than that of my own. My daughter has a sister that is two years younger than her with the same mother and father. She also has a half-brother and half-sister who are significantly younger than her. Her mother worked a typical 9-5 job while her step-father worked overnight at the grocery store to stock shelves. She was tasked to take care of her younger siblings throughout the day to allow her stepfather to sleep. She was in charge of everything for them, the same as if she was their mother. Yet, when a parent was around and she continued to play the role, they gave her she would be quickly corrected and get into trouble because, "she is not the parent." Shortly after I retired, my daughter was no longer welcome in her mother's house so she came to live with me. My significant other has a 7-year-old daughter who lives with us as well. My daughter still tries to be a parent to the seven-year-old girl and usually catches herself doing so now and backs off quickly. Over the past year she has gotten better at realizing she is not the parent but it has taken quite a bit of work to break this habit. These experiences have led her to the choice of never becoming a mother herself. Martorell wrote that gender confusion includes, "the role she or he is to play in society" (336). While my daughter is still in this stage and unsure of exactly what she wants to do, she does know of things she does not want to do because she has gotten in trouble doing them due to her confusion.

Solution: Through having to play an adult role she is clearly not ready for; she has developed role confusion that still persists two years after being removed from the situation.

Citation Source:

Martorell, G. (2022). Child (3rd ed.). McGraw-Hill Higher Education (US). https://yuzu.vitalsource.com/books/9781264461493

Defintion: Once a person figures out who they are, they come to the stand in finding someone else whom they can share their interests in or they unable to find someone who shares their interests and cuts themselves off from the world to prevent further rejection.

Example: For this portion I use myself as an example.

In the article on healthline.com titled "Intimacy vs. Isolation: Why relationships Are So Important" it is written that Erikson described intimacy as requiring, "sharing yourself with others." During this portion of my own life, I served in the United State Marine Corps. I was a mechanic for the majority of my career but I also served as a mechanic instructor (teacher) for four years. During this time, I taught over 200 new Marines and over 50 Marines from other aircraft platforms that were becoming MV-22B Osprey mechanics. Given I had been a student with many instructors in my life, I had to choose what kind of instructor I would be. I could be an instructor who only taught the curriculum leaving the new Marines to fend for themselves outside of their new chosen lifestyle or, I could be one that became more involved to help lead them to a good start for the rest of their career. I chose the latter. I chose to counsel every individual to get to know who they were, where they came from, their hobbies and their goals not only related to the military but their goals related to life. The schooling I taught was two months in length. There was a total of seven tests and I gave each individual counseling after each test to go over their grades and anything else that was of importance. I used my own life and military experiences to help my students navigate the new lifestyle they were embarking on.

Solution: I chose to be intimate with my students to prevent them feeling any sort of isolation because for most, this was the first time they were on their own and things were expected of them without their parents being geographically present to hold their hands through the process. To this day I still have students come to me for advice or just to talk.

Citation Source:

Brito, J., Holland, K., & Kubala, J. (2019, July 8). Intimacy vs Isolation: The Importance of Relationships in Adulthood. Healthline. Retrieved December 3, 2023, from https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/intimacy-vs-isolation#definitions

Definition: During this stage people either want to become more active and contribute more to society instead of just themselves or they struggle to find some sort of purpose or meaning in their life.

Example: Again, I use myself for this and I am currently in this stage. Sarah Jividen states that generativity can be, "pursuing a career or profession that may make a positive difference." Being a retired Marine has enabled me to chase my teenage dream of being a Special Needs Educator. I developed this dream in middle school when I found out I was able to forgo study hall to be a teacher's assistant in what at the time was called the Mentally or Muscularly Handicapped classes. I absolutely loved it and continued to do so throughout middle school and high school. This goal of mine today is vastly different than that of 15 years ago. My goal then was to retire and work for the Rolls Royce plant in Indianapolis, Indiana where the engines for the aircraft I worked on are produced. I have all the prerequisites and references needed to be hired at the plant as I worked to obtain them throughout my previous career. However, in my last few years of the Corps, I realized I did not want to be a mechanic for the rest of my life. When I first retired, I had no clue what I wanted to do. A few months into retirement I was reminded of my childhood dream when I went through some old boxes from my storage unit. The months I had no clue what I was going to do to fill my days were frightening to me. I knew that I would quickly get bored of having no purpose outside of my daughters.

Solution: I found a lost dream that fits my desires of continuing to be of service to others and have acted on ascertaining this goal.

Citation Source:

Jividen, S. (2023, August 30). Generativity vs. Stagnation: Definition, Examples, Age. Verywell Health. Retrieved December 3, 2023, from https://www.verywellhealth.com/generativity-vs-stagnation-7550473

Defintion: The stage where one looks back on their life as either a worthy one which leads to the feeling of integrity or an unworthy one leading to the feeling of despair.

Example: Kendra Cherry wrote the main focus of this stage is, "whether or not the individual has led a meaningful, satisfying life." I strongly believe I will have mixed feelings when I get to this stage of life. My goal is to be a retired Marine and a retired teacher. Both careers are of noble cause and unselfish as they are both intended to serve others. I know I will have plenty of feelings of good accomplishment as I have been able to keep my integrity of who I believe I am. Conversely, my military career did not succeed without sacrifice. The sacrifice I am always most concerned with is the time my daughters sacrificed with me due to the geographic requirements of my career and where their mom took them after our divorce. This is something I reflect on often even as my oldest lives with me. I will never be able to get back any of the time I missed including holidays, birthdays and the many firsts of their lives. The only thing I can do now is to make the most of the time we do get together.

Citation Source:

Cherry, K. (2023, February 28). Integrity vs. Despair in Psychosocial Development. Verywell Mind. Retrieved December 3, 2023, from https://www.verywellmind.com/integrity-versus-despair-2795738