https://padlet.com/reithsven/ofbeinghitandgettingahit (aka the character development, pt. 2) en-us 2021-06-12 12:31:18 UTC 2026-03-17 06:28:26 UTC hello@padlet.com reithsven https://padlet.com/reithsven/ofbeinghitandgettingahit/wish/1602474573 "haha yeah one has really nice tits. one has an ass that's just waiting to be spanked lol"

"what the fuck?"

"yeah. and i think some of them are also lesbians. that's really hot"

"i knew there was something off about the way you eyed those girls. you're disgusting."

"yo what?"
"oh come on"

"if i see you hitting on any of the girls or trying shit i will make sure you lose your job immediately."

"lmao chill man i was just kidding. the hell do you think you are to threaten me? my boss?"

"people don't have to be in authority to be able to call your ass out. objectifying women is so normal for you that you think it's just some kind of joke. you're sick. they're literally just 21-23 year olds. and you're like what, 40?"

"all this crying for what? not being able to take a fucking joke? go outside and touch some grass faggot"
"if you get off on doin this then be a whiny little bitch in everyone's chat too 😂 must be that sad being a virgin. get off my dms and get laid. i promise you it's fun"

the insults this misogynistic pig threw over chat just elicits a menacing grin from sven. "faggot," "whiny little bitch" and "virgin"? really? those are so early 2000s. figures, because the disgusting creep is more than a decade older than him. but still, it's giving sven secondhand embarrassment. he could've done better if he wasn't an incel—the lowest form of creature to ever walk the earth—but alas, he is, and so sven never really expected him to argue intelligently.

on the upside, he got called a virgin today. he's going to boast about that to his noona later just so they can roleplay something out of it. the thought of acting like a virgin excites him. if there's one thing this piece of shit was right about, it's the fact that getting laid tonight (and honestly every night) is indeed fun. actually, he'll give that one to him. that was good advice. sex is never unenjoyable, that much he knows, especially when it's with the person you love the most. he smiles to himself, feeling his cheeks heat up as the memories of making love with his noona floods his mind again. but just in the middle of his happy horny thoughts about her he receives another message (just when he thought the conversation was over). unsurprisingly, it's from the same loser.

"you can be into older women but an older man like me can't be into younger women? nah fuck off with your sjw bullshit. kids these days are hypercritical and hypocritical at the same time it's funny"

sven sighs. of course an incel like him would miss the point. why did he even expect to hear something better? he sends a reply anyway just to tease the man. "you're still here when you told me to get off your dms? you're in love with me"

"you're acting like some saint when everyone in this company knows that you're a milf hunter. you're not as slick as you think you are, boy toy. get off your high horse"

sven stops replying, cackling at the last message he sent. he lets the pervert believe he won by just knowing some rumors about him that's been circulating for a while now. isn't that how one should deal with children? you give them what they want so they stop crying.

sven usually finds the immature bunch predictable and easy to control, much easier once he finds what ticks them off or what weakens them. in relation, it's entertaining to him how some of his colleagues really see him as a kid or a virgin, when in reality he's a heathen without a cause and probably getting more action than everyone else in the studio. it was never his intention to put on an innocent facade, but he doesn't mind having this image too. to a chaotic neutral person like him, pulling the strings is almost just as fun as strumming and plucking the ones on a guitar. he feels powerful when people around him have the wrong impression of him, and much more knowing that to a lot of them, first impressions always last so it's not going to change anytime soon. isn't it easier to surprise the audience with the truth when they already have a preconceived idea of something or someone? but no, he's not a villain. he's a good boy, at least to a special few.

days pass and he continues to help lvsh with their debut ep while keeping an eye on that creepy manager o2 hired for them, even if he and the motherfucker don't interact at work at all after the heated exchange of messages. the guy wouldn't even breathe near him, which he finds funny. it's been awkward, but he's determined to keep being the group's secret bodyguard, to the point of staying up all night just so nothing dangerous happens. these girls are so talented yet so naive. they're so good at lyrics and riffs and more often than not he only ever finds himself doing more arrangement alterations than replacing lines and melodies with catchier ones. they don't deserve to be exposed to the ugly realities of the music industry.

the recording process was even much easier. their vocalist obviously needs more training as a rookie, but her timbre is already distinct enough to stand out. the other members are good at their respective instruments too, and so sven ended up playing a couple the 1975 songs with them one night. in a span of a month he has developed a bond with these girls, something that their manager should be creating with them instead. unfortunately he's a dick and his only agenda is to sexualize them, which sven hopes doesn't turn into harassment someday. god forbid. he fears for this girls more than he fears for his plants dying.

---]]> 2021-06-12 12:44:34 UTC https://padlet.com/reithsven/ofbeinghitandgettingahit/wish/1602474573 reithsven https://padlet.com/reithsven/ofbeinghitandgettingahit/wish/1602483434 on the last weekend before the ep's release, the team decided to hold a small drinking party to congratulate everyone for a job well done. this is a common tradition in the inner workings of the company and sven himself has been to a couple of wrap-up parties before, as a minor production crew member for a couple of eps and albums he had contributions on. it is only now that he finally got to be a major production crew member, and it still feels surreal to him how he was able to lead this whole project and finish it on time.

as expected, the night starts with a group toast and loud cheering, continues with bottomless alcohol shots and crowd-hyped karaoke performances, and finally, ends with drunk conversations and an assortment of colleagues in different levels of intoxication. sven spends the entire night singing and occasionally exchanging messages with his noona. the latter also would send him naughty photos of herself, and they would elicit soft giggles from the boy every single time. throughout the party, sven remains only ever slightly tipsy and is still clearheaded enough to know what goes on, which he saw coming right at the moment he entered that bar. to him, commercial soju is almost just as intoxicating as water. as the party slowly dies down, he gradually switches from being a karaoke hogger to an onlooker at the corner, quietly observing people and making sure everyone is having a good time until it's time to go home, especially the girls. they're the youngest of the pack, hence as their self-appointed dad he's going to protect his cubs. ironically, for someone who isn't their manager, he's doing a better job acting like their manager than their actual manager. in a span of minutes he's already noticed how none of them are hard drinkers while the manager-on-paper is just nowhere in sight, and so during the second half of the night he just does his best to keep track of every single one of them from afar. he's almost relieved to know that they're all doing well and enjoying the mild dizziness until...

"where's veronica?" he asks one of the girls upon noticing how she suddenly vanished. unfortunately the overwhelmed and drunk girl also doesn't know where her bandmate went. he quickly looks around to locate the missing member and notices a suspicious pair on a sofa that's far and slightly hidden from the main crowd. he walks closer and lo and behold... he gets sober quicker than lightning and his blood pressure rises in an instant. what he fears of happening is happening right in front of him, and this is exactly why he's been checking on the girls the whole night, especially preventing them from getting anywhere near the psycho he warned months ago.

"what the fuck are you doing?" sven snaps before grabbing the disgusting prick by the collar, prompting him to get off the girl.

"what the fuck are YOU doing?" the drunk manager snaps back and angrily shrugs sven's hands off his shirt. "get your fucking hands off me."

but even before the creep gets the chance to casually get away from what he just did, sven's uncontrollable temper only ever intensifies. it all happens very fast; with the midget son of a bitch only standing five foot eight, it's so easy for sven to yank him back by the collar and throw a punch at him, also pushing him to the ground in a rage. veronica regains consciousness and tells sven to stop while the predatory man falling down and hitting a table makes a loud noise, which the whole crew gasp to as they collectively turn to where the disturbance is coming from. luckily, some of them were quick to move and are able to stop the fight, just in time before both men get even more physical. they instinctively pull both the men off each other while yelling a garbled "all right, all right! hold it!" the rest of the band run over to the harassed girl to tug her away from the scene and ask what happened.

"what the hell is wrong with you both? see this is why some people shouldn't be allowed to have too many drinks," the audio engineer groans, gritting his teeth while holding sven back. sven momentarily cools down and shrugs himself off his colleague's hold while still glaring at the older man on the ground who's now rubbing his cheek in pain.

"I'm not drunk. paul was kissing and touching veronica, what do you expect me to do? just watch?" sven snarls before glancing at the girl who's now about to cry for causing a fight.

"i wasn't. i was just taking care of her. prince charming over here is seeing things for being too drunk," paul the fucker denies in a suspiciously calm manner as he fakes being too hurt too get up.

"liar. i know what i saw. i don't get drunk easily so if you think you can bullshit your way out of this—"

"you ARE the one bullshitting me, i was minding my own business and you suddenly jumped me."

now one of sven's pet peeves is being interrupted and talked over when speaking, especially when the other person does it by raising their voice to try to intimidate him. it only adds up to the hundred reasons why he loathes this asshole.

the audio engineer raises his hands up and interrupts with an, "all right, calm down, veronica, what happened?"

"i... i was asleep, i-i didn't know what was going on, I'm sorry..." veronica stammers incoherently as her bandmates look at her in concern.

paul sneers and shrugs his shoulders. "see, she doesn't even have any idea what went on."

"of course your sneaky ass would do it while she's unconscious—"

the annoying shit is so quick to interrupt again and get defensive. "whoa, what are you even being accusatory and aggressive for? you know what, next time don't drink too much if you can't handle it."

"don't forget i have receipts and I'll make sure i—"

"yeah? you'll make sure you what?" paul taunts as he gets up in a split second and attempts to attack again. the guitar technician who's holding him quickly tugs him back too. "make sure i get fired like what you said a month ago? what are you gonna do? cry to madam shin and throw a tantrum like the manchild that you are?"

"paul, that's enough—"

"you aren't exactly fooling anyone. you have the guts to act all high and mighty because madam shin always has your back. it doesn't really take a genius to notice. everyone knows you're fucking her, himbo. or should i say, being fucked by her?"

but bingo! just like that, the enemy weakness that sven is looking for presented itself effortlessly. now he's not that exasperated anymore that the bitch cuts him off mid-sentence every damn time he speaks. he just knows that one of these days, this motherfucker is going to try to one up him by turning things around and getting him fired instead using his own connections.

sven, despite knowing that none of the allegations are true, only responds with a smirk and jeers the guy back with his own insecurity instead of defending himself. "it's scary being at the bottom of the food chain, isn't it? your very fragile man ego is hurting from the fact that you're still a newbie at 40. you've got less people backing you up. must be sad not having a higher up you can fuck," he emphasizes on the "must be sad" part in reference to the text message that the pervert sent him way back.

"stop it! all right, let's wrap up, everyone, party is over," the audio engineer announces. "loey, i am really surprised you started this, of all people in this room," he adds as he facepalms in disappointment.

the rest of the production crew is now buzzing in murmurs as the members start to get up and prepare to leave, obviously not expecting paul's scandalous claims. sven then turns to the girls who are giving him concerned looks.

"go home," he orders the girls sternly as he runs his fingers through his faded blonde locks, briefly closing his eyes and letting out a sigh. "go home, all four of you."

like elementary kids who just got told off, they obey him right away and escorts veronica out of the bar as well. after a month of hanging out with the same group of people every weekdays, these girls, together with his long-time colleagues, are the ones who should know him best. these people should know about him and his noona the most.

---]]> 2021-06-12 13:00:01 UTC https://padlet.com/reithsven/ofbeinghitandgettingahit/wish/1602483434 reithsven https://padlet.com/reithsven/ofbeinghitandgettingahit/wish/1602490400 "that just doesn't make sense because have you seen loey's girlfriend? equally rich, more beautiful and most of all, decades younger. goddamn, if i had a girlfriend that gorgeous why would i even need an old woman still?" shay, a lvsh member, argues two days after the incident over lunch.

"yeah, we know. she went here one time. he introduced her as his "noona" even if we all knew they were fucking," one of sven's fellow producers says with a snort then claps her hands in a sexual connotation.

"yah, we are literally talking to kids!" sven calls out with laugh, his cheeks blushing as the other girls giggle in unison.

"hello, they're not babies anymore. whew, loey, the older women panty dropper," she teases further while stirring her instant ramyun.

sven snorts too as he suddenly gets reminded of the text messages he had with his "favorite" guy. "you call me the older women panty dropper? paul the fucker called me a milf hunter. top that. i was laughing for 30 seconds straight."

the other producer shakes her head smugly, disappointed but not surprised. "tch. milf hunter? what does that make him? baby girl hunter? i knew there was a reason why he's still single at 40. tch, that piece of shit."

"loey, I'm really sorry you got into that fight," veronica says meekly with her head down. "if i wasn't being careless you wouldn't..."

"yah, what are you doing? don't apologize for being the victim, never ever do that again," sven scolds with his brows knit and his lips dramatically pouting. "that defeats the purpose. why did i even kick that pervert's ass for if you felt bad about being saved anyway? would you have liked it better if he took advantage of you even more? aish, this kid..."

"yah, don't be so hard on her, she was crying so much," shay defends.

"I'm sorry, i didn't mean to sound angry. just don't beat yourself up for something that isn't your fault, yeah? it's okay, i wasn't even hurt or anything. his midget ass was the one who got wrecked, pft."

"but... all those things paul said..."

"well, those didn't matter either. if anything, it was funny how much he believed it. i don't even know where he heard those rumors from. he's just been here for a month. he must have gotten it from the jealous senior producers."

"mhm, i bet," the other producer nods in agreement with her brows arched way up. "and girl, you say "thank you," not sorry," she corrects veronica right after.

"okay... thank you for saving me. next time you wouldn't have to do it anymore. I'll be more alert."

that afternoon, sven receives an email from the a&r director asking him to come to his office. already figuring out what it's going to be for, he does as he says so, but he makes sure his phone's recording app is on. he can already hear the bullshit the director has in store for him, and he bets paul and the director are going to team up on him too. ah, what a day to see good old paul again and sit beside him inside one room while taking disciplinary action—

except that when he enters the office, the scumbag isn't there. it's just the a&r director looking straight at him and welcoming him with that phony smile, as confident as an actor who has rehearsed his lines a thousand times. ah, this is it; the power move he's been waiting for from the bastard. sven smiles back at him, equally phony, and dips his head down for a bow.

"good afternoon, sir."

"good afternoon, loey. take a seat."

he takes a seat in front of him and as soon as he does so, the director opens his mouth to talk.

"I'm guessing you already know why i called you here today. I've got to be straightforward with you, it was really childish of you to make a big deal out of a small and irrelevant thing. it was a party, of course everyone just wants to have a good time at a party, and of course everyone has their own ways of having a good time. i know you're younger than paul but you're no longer a kid either. you know things like that happen all the time at parties, and most importantly, you should know better than hating people who don't have the same preferences as you."

sven stays silent. he has to let the man finish as he mentally analyzes all the latter's words in his head. and he also has to make him say everything for the audio recording.

"besides, aren't you ashamed that you're minding everyone else's business too much? you're not god. stop acting like one and policing everyone. let it go and let him do his thing. you're a man too, you should know well how our brains work. sometimes we think and do inappropriate things that we can't control. it can't be helped because we're much weaker to temptations."

sven is sure that the utter disgust on his face is very visible. it better be. the director has to see how grossed out he is right now.

"I'll tell you something. you see, kid, every industry has a dark side, and the record label industry is no exception. o2 isn't really as innocent as you thought it is. all these businessmen who make music happen and all these people behind the artists like you, me and paul, we all get tired too. and because of that we need to relieve stress from time to time... you know what i mean, right? you also know how madam shin is."

hold on, what the fuck is this man saying? he just got here!

"artists also need to be pushed to their limits to be able to survive, especially the rookies, so they become emotionally stronger as they get popular," the director continues, still in a very condescending manner. "they have to be exposed to challenges and of course, please the people who work with them to keep getting projects. basic reward and punishment system; if they do well, they get to prolong their career. if they resist, they don't get the fame that they want. simple, but fair."

he really can't stomach that he met another disgusting fucker in this workplace, but at least he already knows how to control the conversation. "let's cut to the chase. what do you want me to do?"

"well, isn't it less shameful to just delete your chat conversation with paul and forget about everything instead of using all this energy for someone you hate?"

"and if i don't?"

"then you receive suspension for what you did last weekend."

a suspension... huh. so that's his threat already? sven doesn't believe he's this nice. he's not being evil enough. he needs more from this motherfucker.

"so paul sexually harassed an artist and he doesn't get any sanction, while i just did what i could as a concerned colleague and i get punished?" sven argues, knowing damn well that standing his ground will agitate the other man more. if he didn't catch paul right on time he would've done worse and who knows what else he can do in the future too, but this man wants him to let the dangerous guy "have his fun"? "you mentioned about reward and punishment being fair. do you think that IS fair?"

"well, you could've called him out in a more peaceful way instead of being a hothead and causing a scene. you could've chosen to not be violent. parties are parties, drunk people have no idea what they're doing most of the time. it's normal, it is what it is. paul was drunk so he probably didn't mean it, veronica was drunk so she didn't even know what paul was doing and you were drunk so there's a possibility that your brain just made things up. you have no proof of what he did, but we have proof of you physically assaulting him," the director explains, his tone now with a hint of annoyance compared to his previously condescending one. "we don't tolerate belligerent employees in this company. in fact you should be thankful that I've lowered it to a suspension when you could be terminated for what you did."

termination? sven just can't believe what he's hearing. this guy has a high position but he's making himself sound dumb, almost purposely ignoring the point to justify the sanction that sven is about to get. should he have taken a video first before helping the poor girl just so he can present a proof? obviously this asshole #2 has already been on paul's side even before sending sven that email, and he thinks sven isn't seeing his real motive.

"i don't know what else you want from this. a promotion? is that what you're aiming for? i could give that to you if you behave like a good little boy."

he knows what the director is doing. he is trying to minimize what happened and eager to get paul out of trouble by making it sound like it was just a simple school fight, all while bribing sven with a higher position and pseudo-rewarding him with a chance to not get a disciplinary action that he shouldn't even get in the first place. the whole while he's trying his best to make sven feel powerless too so he'd feel bad about refusing the offer.

sven's lips curl to a smirk again, which the director finds unsettling. "call me childish and meddlesome all you want, but no, i never wanted a promotion, and I'm not going to let this go. ideally, biased people shouldn't be the ones handling this problem but sure, director, suspend me or fire me anytime this week or this month."

the director then raises his palm as he shrugs. "very well. you had your chance, and you chose to not grab it."

"and while you're at it, I'll also make sure the ceo discovers all the things you told me just a while ago," sven adds nonchalantly, hinting that he has everything on tape but not directly letting the man know.

the director then quickly pulls away and laughs in a mocking tone. "the ceo? you're funny, i like you already... all right. I'm a nice boss, so i sincerely wish your insolence brings you to the ceo."

"thank you for your kindness. the ceo would be delighted to know about what you're trying to pull on me," he responds sarcastically.

"and I'm giving you until friday to pack your things and finish all your remaining workload. you're not coming back on monday," the director then says right after, glaring at him. his expression changed from mocking to dark in a heartbeat.

sven keeps a straight face and his little smile, unfazed and unaffected, as he gets up and bows. he is aware that the director thinks he can ask for madam shin's help anytime, but that's not what he's going to do. what the director and the rest of the company don't know is that he wasn't bluffing when he said that the ceo can know about everything, because there's one more person who has a more direct contact with the said higher up.

"you punched the manager on the face and recorded your conversation with the director? wah..." sevi asks in disbelief, snickering on the other line while he's on call with sven. "i didn't expect you'd be this brave. you're finally learning from me. i wish i witnessed your fight with the manager though, it must've been fun to watch. i would've hyped you."

"that's dangerous. I'm glad you weren't there. if you hyped me i would've kicked his ass to death. god, i fucking hate them both. I'm going to get bald early from all this pent-up rage."

"chill, I'm going to tell junmyeon hyung about the sexual harassment incident and send him the audio file. also, send me their full names, their positions and departments."

"i will when i get home. you know what, i really feel like there's something fishy going on... there must be a reason why he was covering up for paul with his whole life."

"it does sound sus. i feel like he's the one who got the manager in too because why else would he care about a random new employee that much, right? unless they're dating, but the manager targets young girls," sevi theorizes then hums. "hm... you want me to tell junmyeon hyung to get the director's and the manager's records checked too?"

"please do. i want their lives fucked over and i want the ceo to know about everything. whatever monkey business they are up to should be exposed. my spidey senses are telling me he's hiding some actual dirt," sven requests as he turns the steering wheel, now on the way home to his noona. it's been a long day, and the only thing he wants to do right now is to cuddle with her (and fuck her brains out) until all the stress and anger is gone.

"he's definitely hiding some dirt, because you heard how he talked about the "reward and punishment" thing. there's definitely some nasty trafficking going on. see this is what happens when a ceo is too trusting and lenient with his employees. that can never happen in my casino."

"but hey, at least you're helping him weed out the bad seeds."

"and the fact that I'm not getting paid for this... unbelievable."

sven laughs at how the younger brought up about getting paid again. all sevi thinks about is money. "when he looked me dead in the eye before firing me, i knew he was already planning something against me in his head."

"of course he is! i bet he's going get you blacklisted in every company ever so you don't get hired anywhere else again. brace yourself and prepare for the worst."

"damn... I'm really meant for that sugar baby life, huh?" sven jokes, which earns a loud snort and chortle from sehun. "would you still love me if i was a sugar baby?"

"i mean, it doesn't sound so bad... jinah noona will take care of you well. if your sugar mommy was an old woman like that executive in your company who keeps checking you out, then I'd like for us to never talk again."

sven lets out a wheezy laugh. his self-deprecating humor resurfaces as he throws in another joke with an overdramatic execution. "boohoo, they were right about me! I'm just a boy toy!"

they're partially right though. he becomes a boy toy at night.

---]]> 2021-06-12 13:11:11 UTC https://padlet.com/reithsven/ofbeinghitandgettingahit/wish/1602490400 reithsven https://padlet.com/reithsven/ofbeinghitandgettingahit/wish/1602493698 (Three days later.)

without intending to, sven appears to be itching to quit as he cleans his desk up in a hurry. it's nothing related to the director firing him, really; he just has to bolt as soon as he can so he and jinah can also leave as early as possible. the couple have to travel to jeju that night for a friend's company event they got invited to the next day. but just when he needs no distractions, some wretch breathes near him again. this week really has him fuming.

"it was nice having you around even just for a while, loey," paul sarcastically bids farewell as he puts an empty box over sven's desk, his black eye now less visible. "here, let me help you pack your things."

sven stifles a chuckle. the fucker really thought it's going to be his last day.

"nah, save it for yourself, paul. and bring the director one too. you're both going to need lots of it," sven feigns concern as he glances at the other with a smug face, picking his phone up off the surface of his desk and walking away, leaving his workspace just the way he always does before clocking out of work, with some of his everyday things still intact and positioned like how they would be on a normal weekday.

he takes the elevator to the ground floor, and as the door closes, he receives a call from jinah, while paul and the director simultaneously receive an email. he reaches the parking lot still on call with his noona, and right after getting into his car, the same piece of shit who brought him a box bangs on the tinted window with his tiny fists. wow, he's so fast, sven muses.

"what was that noise?"

"ah, just a random bird heckling my window, noona."

"bird? didn't you say you're in the parking lot?"

"yes. well... it's a person. I'm about to drive out of here now so he can try running after me instead if he's into marathon," he says with a giggle. upon getting home, he receives a series of pdfs from sevi showing findings that verify the director's involvement in multiple incidents of corruption and artist exploitation. furthermore, it was also indeed him who endorsed paul, who—in turn—was also previously involved in sexually exploitative collaborations. both were personally requested by the ceo to be dismissed, and the ceo is also now currently running an investigation on other persons of interest whom the director shares offenses with.

sven spends the weekend happily and peacefully with jinah as they both enjoy a rather steamy saturday morning in jeju. he's having so much fun that he forgot that the ep is released on the same day. he's only been focused on his noona and his noona alone, who looks absolutely gorgeous in her light beige gown on the night of the event. the night gets longer as it gets more passionate, until finally they return to seoul sunday afternoon. sven decides to drop by the bar to personally thank sevi for his help. on top of this, he hangs out with his bandmates and sevi for a few hours, promoting the ep and letting them know how his week had been. he talks about all the shit that happened over a few glasses of brandy, specifically in an angle that explains how he almost lost his job and became a sugar baby. like the sagittarius that he is who has the habit of making jokes out of everything about himself, he tends to narrate all the happenings in his life like they were scenes from a comedy movie, a series of misadventures that the listeners can laugh about freely. if self deprecation was a skill, he could be a guru by now.

when he's about to go home, sven sends jinah a silly selfie while walking back to the parking lot. he was expecting his weekend to be upsetting, but it has only been worry-free and memorable thanks to her and sevi. as he unlocks his car with the remote, he regains faith in the justice system. people got what they deserved and everything ended just the way he wanted it to... or so he thought.

sven was never scared of death. the thought of something terrible suddenly happening to him on a perfectly normal day never gave him the shivers or any other type of worry. if anything, it excited him, so much that he would constantly ask for it. he thought that being alone all his life was to blame for his detachment; he had no actual connection with anyone or anything else around him, and so he felt like he wasn't obligated to keep existing for someone or something too. he had felt that way about the world for the longest time. he left home, he had never been emotionally attached to his friends, and work and money didn't feel as rewarding as how everyone else consider them to be. all those living and nonliving things around him, including the new people he met and the new things he got, felt like mere independent variables that could casually come and go. to him, it was easier that way, living like he could up and leave whenever, just like how the people and things around him could. que sera, sera.

and then jinah came along. when they started dating he started to feel like he finally had a good reason to want to stay, something to actually /live/ for not just for the sake of survival but because he enjoys it, finally had someone that he couldn't bear to leave, not even once. suddenly his world was in color and all he had been in was a bliss. he began looking forward to waking up more than sleeping, because when he's awake gets to be with her. he gradually stopped feeling like everything and everyone was temporary, and instead began wishing for all of this to last forever. slowly he forgot about wishing for immediate death too because he got too happily busy with enjoying his days with her, that every night before he'd sleep he'd wish for more days with her and he'd feel confident that they were always going to be together no matter what happened.

but then it happened.

just when his night is going perfect, things happen when they are least expected. sven can somehow "predict" events due to his overactive intuition, but it is his complacency that is to blame when he definitely didn't see this one coming. just right before he gets into his car to come home to his noona, he finally gets that thing he used to wish for so bad. who would've thought that on what seems to be a typical sunday night he'd be randomly grabbed from the back by a group of men and dragged into a dark alley to be beaten up?

his mouth is quickly plastered with a duct tape and his hands were clutched forcibly to his back. his groans come out muffled. he knows he can't possibly escape the arms of five men even if he uses all his strength, but he's still trying to free himself from their hold. the masked goons are as silent as they can be, not even telling him a word, but the punches and kicks they throw all over his body, including his privates, are solid. his hair is also grabbed and lowered as his head, jaw and abdomen are hit so many times, making him so nauseous that he gags over nothing while his knees break down. he's then kicked further as he plops on the ground helpless. he feels the soles of their shoes hit his chin and neck, his shoulders and arms, his back and his legs. he's sure he received a lot of blows, but he's too dizzy to keep track. he feels like they're going to knock him out soon.

one of them steps on his knees and pushes down on it until it cracks, which makes sven yowl under the duct tape and squirm like a worm sprinkled with salt. they look down at him, and upon realizing that he's about to faint, they leave him half conscious on the ground and walk away like nothing happened. he can't breathe properly. his nose and the corners of his lips are bleeding. he thinks he dislocated a wrist and also broke his nose. everything is spinning and all he feels is pain. he's hoping he doesn't lose a tooth or two, but more than that, he's hoping that it isn't his last day. is this what he gets for being too arrogant? for messing with powerful and influential people?

sven was never scared of death. the thought of something terrible suddenly happening to him on a perfectly normal day never gave him the shivers or any other type of worry.

until that moment.

as he lays there bloodied, weak and barely capable of breathing he only ever thinks about his noona, and he thinks about how she'd be looking for him and how sad she'd be that he never came back after leaving so casually. and in that moment, for the first time in his life, he's afraid of dying. all that he ever tells himself is that if he dies he'll never get to see her again and that she'll be left alone. he's frustrated that he can't get up and drive back to her. he wants to and he tries, but his head feels so heavy that he can't. it feels so impossible to move suddenly as if he was as drunk as a skunk, or he was having a nightmare. but no, this is all real, so he can't even bring himself to wake up, much more fall asleep. he doesn't want to pass out. he never regretted going out as much as he does now. he wishes that he just stayed home and didn't leave her.

his sight grows blurry and dim, and up until his eyes close, he's imagining that they were just cuddling in bed, holding each other in the dark, whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears.

he doesn't know how long he was out until he wakes up on the same dirty ground, with all the blood on his face dried up but with the pain only feeling worse than it did hours ago. for a moment he hopes that everything was just a dream and he'd open his eyes to her sleeping face. he gasps upon realizing that it indeed wasn't and that he has to go to her as soon as possible. the moment he regains consciousness he knows he has to get home, because he knows she's waiting for him. he rips the duct tape off his mouth and stumbles as he gets up, as his painful wrists and knees don't want to be propped. he thanks the adrenaline rush for giving him all that strength to drag himself back to where his car is parked despite it feeling like the longest minutes of his life. fortunately he's able to, even if it's painstaking and even if he has to fall down over and over while constantly yelping from the pain. one will never realize how much of a struggle walking is until they have to do it badly injured.

he pulls on the car door with all his might, pulled it open and close even if his arms hurt so much. he's six foot tall, but he never knew that someday he'd be crawling and wriggling into his own car's driver's seat. upon getting to sit properly, he leans back for a second and closes his eyes, wondering if he can actually drive in that condition. he feels all sorts of exhausted but his heart is beating so loudly. what if he gets dizzy again while driving? what if he loses all the strength to turn the steering wheel or hit the brakes or grab the gear shift knob? it was already bad that he was beaten up, but it would be much worse to get into an accident because of it. he might just end up not being able to come home to her at all. in a way, it's funny how he's worrying for his own life all of a sudden, not because he loves himself but because he loves her. it feels so new. he's actually glad about being alive and he doesn't want to die for good. funny how he finally got that terrible thing he was badly waiting for when he's no longer asking for it. fuck fate, fuck timing.

the seconds tick as he sits there musing on whether to start the engine or not. he asks himself: what now, reithsven?

but in the middle of his contemplation, his car door suddenly opens, and he's so ready to cover himself thinking that those men are still out to get him. he yells and instinctively inches back in fear, but the person yells with him too.

"ah!"

"aaah!" 

he thinks they aren't done with him yet, but it's not them who opened his car door; it's jinah.

"sven—sven!"

is he hallucinating? no, it's really her. it's her surprised face that he welcomes and her voice that screams with him when she sees him in the driver's seat. it's her hand that quickly reaches out for him in a split second when he retracts in shock. it's her who, despite getting a jumpscare, pulls him into her arms right away upon finding him and hugs him very tightly.

"sven, where have you—no, what happened? baby, look at you! who did this? what did they do to you?"

she cradles him and weeps as if he was really dying, but he's smiling through his tears because thank god, it's really her who found him. he's with her at last. he's not thinking of anything else anymore. suddenly nothing else matters because he's finally holding her and feeling her body against his. all the pain from his injuries fade away instantly the moment he's enclosed in her warmth and presence. he hasn't started the car yet, but he feels like he's already reached his destination. she is home. now he can close his eyes safely.

"noona... n-noona..."

"yes, baby... I'm here."

"i was so scared..."

"no, shh... no, I'm here now. noona is here."

they stay like that crying while hugging each other for a minute or two. she can't stop sobbing, and from that he can just imagine how anxious she was. eventually he feels so bad. he feels so bad for making her cry and shake like that and for making her worry so much that she had to go out in the middle of the night just to find him. he feels so bad that he wasn't able to answer all her calls and messages and he wishes that he didn't collapse from all that physical trauma. he feels so bad that he wasn't able to come home in time and she had to spend all those hours wondering where he went or what could've happened.

but she doesn't mind any of these. she runs her fingers through his hair and kisses his face all over even if they were dirty, holds him close even if his clothes were dirty. she only keeps crying because of how injured he is and even in between her sobs and sniffles she keeps asking him who did that to him.

"i was so worried, i thought you left me... i-i thought you were gone..." jinah stammers in between her sobbing. "my poor baby... who did this to you?"

jinah ends up driving them both back to his apartment and healing all his injuries. one of the perks of having a nymph as a girlfriend (aside from the unlimited sex) is that hospitalizations are not needed. he wouldn't have to call in sick tomorrow and also wouldn't have to explain the wounds, bruises or bandages. he can wake up feeling good as new, as if he wasn't beaten up at all. jinah also gives him a bath after to get rid of all the dirt, and as he sits in the tub like a baby, she lets him run his mouth about what happened while she casually asks for the names of the people involved, taking advantage of how he becomes verbally uncontrollable when he's annoyed. sven, not realizing this, easily falls for the trick while his back is being scrubbed, mentioning the ex-a&r director's and ex-manager's personal details. he gets so whiny whenever he's with his noona, and she can only smile while watching him and shampooing his hair.

she goes out of the bathroom for a while to make a call to her right hand, whom sven jokingly named "alfred." when she gets back, she also tells sven how her search for him went.

"i went to the bar to check if you were still there, but the only people left were the crew who was closing up shop. they told me you already left hours ago, so i went out to call you again and coincidentally saw your car in the parking lot. i approached it and found that it wasn't locked, and you never leave your car unlocked. i panicked even more when i realized that. i looked into the car doors and the compartment but they were all empty."

"ah, my noona knows me well. and then?"

"and then i told the crew just that. i asked to check the cctvs, but it only showed that you left the bar. at that point i was starting to lose hope. i was eager to search the nearby areas too because you could've not walked that far without a car. i went out to check your car again hoping to find clues, but i found you instead."

sven smiles and leans in to kiss her temple. "you did so well, baby. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that."

"i was so scared because i couldn't find you," she says softly with a pout, which sven finds adorable. "i thought you ghosted me..."

"noona, you know i can never do that right? at least not without my car," he replies with a chuckle as he holds her close and rubs her back. "next time when i dip again, you can find me easily by flashing your tiddies. I'll instantly appear right in front of you."

"yah, how can you say that right now?" jinah scolds with a slap on his wet chest. she whines and buries her face in his neck afterwards. "I'll really lose my mind if you disappear like that again all of a sudden..."

"I'm kidding, i won't vanish again, yeah? don't worry now, I'm here," he reassures as he plants kisses all over her face.

"I'll make sure the people behind this end up in a hospital. but if something bad happens to you again, i will never leave anyone alive anymore."

"n-noona, what are you planning to do?"

she looks up at him and her lips twitch to a small smile. sven's eyes grow bigger, realizing that he gave her information on the ex-a&r director and ex-manager unprovoked.

"noona, no..."

"too late, i already asked my men to do something. don't worry, i won't kill them. I'm just going to teach them a little lesson..."

---]]> 2021-06-12 13:15:37 UTC https://padlet.com/reithsven/ofbeinghitandgettingahit/wish/1602493698 reithsven https://padlet.com/reithsven/ofbeinghitandgettingahit/wish/1602496710 sven comes to work as usual, but the moment he enters the studio, the collective shouting and cheering startles him first thing in the morning.

"LOEY, WE GOT A HIT! WE GOT A HIT!"

right at the second the roaring noise fills his ears, everything around him plays in slow motion. the mixed voices from all sides ring into his head as the whole team gathers around him, smiling widely and jumping happily while showing him their phone screens, which all display a music chart where the title track of lvsh's debut ep is at #5, and the rest of the tracklist are also within the top 20. he stares at the screens dumbly and at the whole room, looking so lost.

he's not sure if he wants to cry or laugh, because he doesn't know what to make of the realization that he had to get hit before getting a hit. he had to get beaten up before getting to beat everyone in the charts.

but ultimately, he smiles, because at the end of the day, all he got are wins.


—fin.]]> 2021-06-12 13:19:54 UTC https://padlet.com/reithsven/ofbeinghitandgettingahit/wish/1602496710