Sarah B's Poem - Reflections by Sarah Better https://padlet.com/sarahbetter97/ub8qaa3290x6px0v Made with a lot of hesitation en-us 2020-06-12 21:49:34 UTC 2025-11-25 16:52:43 UTC hello@padlet.com Reflections sarahbetter97 https://padlet.com/sarahbetter97/ub8qaa3290x6px0v/wish/624643215 Reflections of myself 
Not only in the mirror 
But in my mother’s sadness 
And in her uncontrollable loneliness and insecurity
After my father loved her no more
 
Reflections of myself 
Not only in the water 
But in my father’s indecisiveness 
And in his desperate longing for reason
 
Vague reflections of myself 
In that 5-year-old girl 
That carries my name 
in all of my home-made family tapes 
dressed in innocence and reverie 
 
Reflections of myself 
Not only in the windows 
But in the youth, that has no idea what to do, 
For it is too hard to find identity in something that resonates with 
 
Only reflections 
Maybe I see myself in only reflections 
Or is it only reflections that make myself,
 
Me. 
]]> 2020-06-12 21:58:09 UTC https://padlet.com/sarahbetter97/ub8qaa3290x6px0v/wish/624643215 A Little Background sarahbetter97 https://padlet.com/sarahbetter97/ub8qaa3290x6px0v/wish/624644635 I remember writing this poem in El Retiro, a park in Madrid a little more than a year ago. I was on a trip with my dad and my siblings, the first trip we had taken with him after he left my mom and my house. My relationship on the trip with my dad was, lets put it - not perfect. He was trying too hard to make amends with me as he was insecure thinking I was mad at him for leaving our house and he tried to constantly explain himself and his reasons. 

A lot was going through my head those days. I could put myself in my father's shoes when he explained why he had made the decision he had made and I understood his reasonings. However, I could also put myself in my mother's grief after her husband of 23 years left without notice, and when she had thought the marriage was perfect (as did the rest of us). 

I also remember that I had just finished my first co-op in Israel and I was doubting everything about my academic career and major after meeting a lot of people in Israel that changed my views of the world and of what I wanted to do. I remember going through a stage of dissociation and depersonalization because I was very confused oh who I was, who my family was, who I looked up to as a kid as well as the expectations of what I wanted to be now that I understood (or maybe had broken a schema) of what I thought I wanted to be or who I was. 

I remember that the day I wrote this poem I had told my family that I was going to meet a friend in Madrid but in reality I was very overwhelmed with confusion so I just needed a time for myself. So I took a stroll by myself in the park and sat down and wrote this poem - to sort of try to understand why I was not able to pin point who I was or what I was that I saw myself reflected in. ]]> 2020-06-12 21:59:51 UTC https://padlet.com/sarahbetter97/ub8qaa3290x6px0v/wish/624644635 Why I chose to share this poem sarahbetter97 https://padlet.com/sarahbetter97/ub8qaa3290x6px0v/wish/624651771 I remember that after writing this poem I did not like it at all. I felt like it was not my style, and I felt it did not say much - because I was in a state of mind that was blank so it was hard for me to feel like I was communicating anything at all. 

However, a couple of days ago I was going through all of my poems to pick one to share with you all and I stumbled across this one and I did not fully disliked it, so I would love to hear your thoughts. 

Ps. I added reverie to that one line because it used to say aspirations but while reading the poem and reverie came to mind for that specific line :). ]]> 2020-06-12 22:11:13 UTC https://padlet.com/sarahbetter97/ub8qaa3290x6px0v/wish/624651771 Thoughts? sarahbetter97 https://padlet.com/sarahbetter97/ub8qaa3290x6px0v/wish/624656288 2020-06-12 22:17:43 UTC https://padlet.com/sarahbetter97/ub8qaa3290x6px0v/wish/624656288