(LE2) PSY-I-Q2: Mga Unang Hakbang Tungo sa Tao: Scenarios and Reminders by Mariella T. Besana

IMMERSE YOURSELF IN THE EXPERIENCE.

mbesana — 2020-10-31 09:31:44 UTC

Do not judge based on just what you see and hear in the call. Don’t come to a decision based on just your logic. Immerse yourself in their way of life and experiences, in what they hold closest to their hearts, into their very selves. Open up yourself so you can understand them much deeper. This asks from you a deep sense of humility, compassion, patience, and inner strength to face the difficulties that you will encounter. This asks you to share your life deeply. Makipagkwentuhan ka.

PRAY.

mbesana — 2020-10-31 09:31:44 UTC

Don’t rely solely on your own strength. You need God/love and spiritual guidance as you go through the engagement more than anything, more than you can ever fathom. What we are “doing” “[being with other people] does not mean you already fully understand all of this before you do it. What matters most is when you are finally and actually there, person-to-person, ready to learn and share yourself.

GO WHERE THE PEOPLE ARE

mbesana — 2020-10-31 09:31:44 UTC

Your intention to engage with the people in your Binhi area must be sincere. If you engage with the area simply because you want to, nothing is bound to come out of the experience. Also, if you engage with the area out of the belief that the people there need you, you are mistaken. You are not, by any means, a Messiah or Saviour of sorts. You are simply a person, a human being, just like the members of the community you will be engaging with.

mbesana — 2020-10-31 09:31:44 UTC

LOOK (CLOSELY).
“Looking” entails not just seeing with your eyes, but also with your entire being. Keep your eyes open, don’t dream, don’t fall asleep. The truth is in front of you! You are in the middle of a mystery, don’t faint or be afraid! Look at their eyes; look if their smiles are sweet or bitter. Feel what they are feeling. (Are their hearts still beating?) Look at their very being as people but don’t just examine them. You need to sharpen your ability to feel. Look at the things surrounding their lives and experiences. Try to comprehend their hearts’ deepest longings, their hopes, aspirations as well as frustrations.

LISTEN (INTENTLY).

mbesana — 2020-10-31 09:31:44 UTC

Don’t be too investigative, the goal is not to interrogate. Be careful with the words you use, lest you offend anyone in the area. In fact, it would be better if you do not say anything at all first, especially if you are uncertain of what to say. Listen to the people first – listen to what they are saying and beyond this, strive to listen to what they are NOT saying. It is only then when you can say to them that you understand them. There lies the possibility that they will be ready to speak and tell you what they cannot say. You allow their very self humanity to open up with your own self and humanity.

mbesana — 2020-10-31 09:31:44 UTC

Matuto kang tumimbang ng lahat, ng mali at matuwid; at hanapin mo ang pinakaugat na siyang sanhi ng kanilang paghihirap sa buhay at sa diwa. Ngunit tiyakin mo muna sa pamamagitan ng mga naunang hakbang, na nauunawaan mo na ang kanilang kalagayan. Tingnan mo ang lahat sa pamamagitan ng mata ng Maykapal.

ANALYZE WHAT YOU OBSERVE.

Learn to weigh all things, both what is wrong and right; and find the very core of the struggles that affect their lives. But you can only do this through the first few steps, only if you truly understand how they are feeling and what they are going through. Look at everything you observe and experience in the eyes of faith.

I would tell them that I'm undergoing an online kamustahan with them because I want to understand perspectives that differ from my own. In knowing this, I will be one step closer to understanding more about society as a whole. -Alexa Ting

2020-11-04 08:57:04 UTC

Rosel Vallar

roselvallar — 2020-11-04 09:31:29 UTC

I think that one of the most important things to note in preparing for the online kwentuhan is to view the area partners as your equals. As mentioned in the excerpt, we are not the saviors or messiahs of our area partners, so we must avoid the idea that we are in a position much higher than them, because that simply isn't true. Seeing them as equals can help to break the ice and make the area partners feel more comfortable with sharing their stories and insights.

Meggy Valdez

2020-11-04 10:56:27 UTC

Usually, what I do to get along with the community is by playing games with the children but considering the current setup, this might be more difficult to do. I guess the next best thing I would do to befriend the partner is by asking them about how they've been since lockdown and by asking them to share what they've been doing in light of such a situation, I hope to be able to share my own and find a common ground between our experiences and build the conversation from there.

2020-11-04 12:54:00 UTC

In the event that that would happen, I would make an attempt to enter the session as quickly as I can no matter how disheveled I may be (within reason, of course) and apologize profusely to those who have been affected by my tardiness. I am of the belief that time is valuable to each one of us so it is important to respect the time other people have taken out of their own day to accommodate you, so I hope to avoid tardiness as much as possible— online or no. -Marla

2020-11-04 13:42:14 UTC

If they asked me about the reasoning behind my participation in the online kwentuhan with them, I would say that it is because I believe that the sharing of our experiences may help the both of us explore and learn about the facets of society unfamiliar to us, which may, in turn, help deepen both of our understandings of society. - Gab Aplasca

2020-11-04 13:46:59 UTC

I will prepare myself for the online kwentuhan by trying not to have any very specific expectations of my possible partner, as having preconceived notions of things or people I know little about usually gets in the way of me actually learning the truth behind said things or people. - Gab Aplasca

2020-11-04 13:51:31 UTC

I will not point out or give notice to people other than my partner, unless my partner intends for us to interact. - Gab Aplasca

2020-11-04 15:24:26 UTC

I need to get rid of the prejudice that plagues my mind. I need to come into the session with a desire to learn about the person and their community rather than a desire to fix the person's life or the state of their community. -Alexa Ting

2020-11-04 15:27:07 UTC

I would actually profusely apologize for me lateness since I have wasted the formator's and community representative's time. Then, I will do my best in trying to efficiently discuss the topic and subtopics expected in the kamustahan. - Alexa Ting

2020-11-04 15:29:53 UTC

I will inform both my formator and the community representative of my illness. I will also try to arrange an alternative schedule will my formator. -Alexa Ting

2020-11-04 15:33:29 UTC

I'd kindly tell them to be careful when going out of the house so they wouldn't catch the virus themselves. I would also share my experience especially because there are a few Covid cases in my area as well. It's really best to stay cautious because prevention is better than cure. -Alexa Ting

2020-11-04 15:40:54 UTC

After they share their story, I will try to sympathize with them

rebeccagenato — 2020-11-04 18:52:11 UTC

If the area partner asked me why I'm having the online kwentuhan with them, I will tell them that it's always nice to meet new people and gain a different perspective from someone with a different background. I can also tell them that learning their hardships can help me help them with their needs–that being knowledgable on the problem is the first step to providing a helping hand. Finally, I can tell them that it may be fun for not only me, but for the other people (jeepney drivers) to meet different generations. - RC Genato

rebeccagenato — 2020-11-04 18:55:11 UTC

One thing that I can do to prepare is to remove all notions I had regarding different people. This will give me a clean slate when gaining a different point of view. -RC Genato

rebeccagenato — 2020-11-04 18:56:26 UTC

If ever I were to be late, I would silently join in. This is to avoid disturbing the flow of the kwentuhan session. If someone asks why I was late, I can just be honest. -RC Genato

rebeccagenato — 2020-11-04 18:57:35 UTC

If I have any connectivity concerns, I should immediately message the teacher, moderator, or beadle. -RC Genato

rebeccagenato — 2020-11-04 18:59:15 UTC

I think I can laugh it off then compliment something about them. -RC Genato

iyanadominguez1 — 2020-11-05 03:56:24 UTC

I would enter the session quietly and try to understand the conversation. I'd also try to give input when possible while acting that I wasn't late
- Iyana Dominguez

dianasalonoy1 — 2020-11-05 03:59:50 UTC

I would tell them that we’re having this online kwentuhan for us to [1] check on their current situation in this time of pandemic, and [2] exchange perspectives with them by listening to their stories and integrating them with my world view.

dianasalonoy1 — 2020-11-05 03:59:57 UTC

I would tell them that we’re having this online kwentuhan for us to [1] check on their current situation in this time of pandemic, and [2] exchange perspectives with our area partners by listening to their stories and integrating them with my own world view. I believe I can learn a lot from their tales so I will strive to show my genuine interest in them throughout the kwentuhan.

iyanadominguez1 — 2020-11-05 04:04:46 UTC

For me, when we're about to start I'd be open and try to free myself from any pre-conceived notions about them and I hope they do the same for me - Iyana Dominguez

dianasalonoy1 — 2020-11-05 04:10:56 UTC

I will refrain from getting distracted on those passersby and focus even more on the discussion. It is only through listening attentively that I can understand them by heart.

dianasalonoy1 — 2020-11-05 04:11:12 UTC

dianasalonoy1 — 2020-11-05 04:29:11 UTC

I will anticipate the course of discussion by devising a plan or outline beforehand. This way I can strategize on my steps to make in case such things happen. If none of that works, I’ll try to initiate a conversation myself by maybe checking on them, cracking a joke or sharing something they can relate to.

keziaobbus — 2020-11-05 06:08:15 UTC

I would tell them that I'm really interested in hearing first-hand accounts of their experiences and perceptions. Throughout high school, I never had many opportunities to engage with the community (so I'm not the best at communicating and sharing my thoughts), but I really appreciate being able to listen to other people's stories.

keziaobbus — 2020-11-05 06:14:15 UTC

First off, I'll prepare for the kwentuhan session by ridding myself of prejudices and intrusive thoughts. I'll have to ground myself on my objectives, which is to actively listen and learn about their stories and lives. I will also make the effort to prepare answers to possible questions that I may not be able to respond to on the spot (#awkward tingz). Lastly, I think I will have to loosen up first and get rid of any social anxiety so that the conversation can be fruitful.

keziaobbus — 2020-11-05 06:24:58 UTC

I will try my best to be as attentive and caring as possible (and hopefully be able to extend that outwardly so that they can feel more comfortable with me). I will make sure not to say I understand how they feel if I honestly do not, but instead I will be as open-minded as possible, and I'll assure them that their personal stories are safe with me.

vincentcute — 2020-11-05 07:38:14 UTC

While I was thinking of the answer to this question, I'm really sad because all I could think of was that it's for me to understand them more. Most of the time, the reason why we, as the more privileged people, go to the less-privileged places isn't to really understand them, but more of to try to help them. I feel conflicted, actually, because all I could do is try to understand their context - nothing beyond that. If I were to answer them, it's probably just that, I want to hear from them, I want to know them more; and, if I may say so myself, I want to learn from them. Apart from these, I don't know what else is the reason why I reach out to them. It's something I've been trying to answer for the longest time but all answers didn't seem worthy given the little things I could do for them.

vincentcute — 2020-11-05 07:44:16 UTC

Nothing else but an open mind. :) We have to forego previous mindsets and be able to adapt based on the things we're learning from these people.

2020-11-05 07:51:48 UTC

I would probably say something similar to "Hala! Hindi po, 'Nay!" while laughing and subtly switch to another topic that is about them (e.g. their current health situation, their well-being) . However, before I even get in the call, I will probably use a picture as a background to avoid showing my house (maybe even ask them to choose a background they like so that they enjoy the call as well - if a Zoom call is used). I could also use a plain wall as my background to avoid accidental comparisons and shift the attention to their experiences and plights only - Ashley Benitez

2020-11-05 07:53:36 UTC

In the event that there are passersby, I will not make any facial expression that might suggest that I notice or are affected by these people. Instead, I will continue to keep on listening or talking normally. - Miggy Mandanas

vincentcute — 2020-11-05 07:56:48 UTC

I would... apologize and try to keep up with the conversation. I'd also do what I can to minimize the occurrences in which this is bound to happen by... sleeping early <3

vincentcute — 2020-11-05 07:59:16 UTC

Well for me it doesn't matter that much since a lot of people pass by my background also during synch classes HDDH

vincentcute — 2020-11-05 07:59:48 UTC

I think what's important always when we listen is that we actively listen. Constantly reassuring the other person while sohwing ~appropriate~ expressions in the process. Ultimately, I will value consent (which means they'll only share if they are comforatable enough) and hold it with the strictest confidence.

vincentcute — 2020-11-05 08:01:54 UTC

I think conversations come out naturally. You just start off by sharing a piece of information about you and from there, I think it will eventually unfold.

Raine:

raine_bales — 2020-11-05 08:02:15 UTC

I would tell them that I am hoping to know more about the stories of others to gain a better understanding about the experiences of different kinds of people according to their own point of view. Through this, I want them to be able to share their stories freely without the fear of judgment, in hopes of making people truly understand their context and amplify their voices if need be.

vincentcute — 2020-11-05 08:03:55 UTC

"Ikaw naman, 'nay!" I don't know honestly but I'll try to shift the narrative and talk about something else if that were the case.

Raine:

raine_bales — 2020-11-05 08:06:56 UTC

I need to prepare myself well to be able to interact with them meaningfully and avoid ALL existing notions and stereotypes about them and their situation. As what was said in the transcript, we are not in any way higher than them so we should treat them as equal and use this online kwentuhan as an opportunity to understand their stories, and not to be their saviour.

Raine:

raine_bales — 2020-11-05 08:11:50 UTC

First, I would try so hard in order to avoid instances like this because I know very well how valuable time is. But if ever there is a chance that I would be late, I would apologize sincerely and do my best to catch up on the conversation and share relevant insights whenever I can.

2020-11-05 14:40:12 UTC

Rainel Faminialagao

2020-11-05 14:40:35 UTC

As a conversationalist, it's intriguing to realize that people always seem to have a story to tell. In this situation, it really isn't so much a matter of looking for something to share, but listening to something you can talk about. It really only takes one question to start a long conversation, and humans tend to share common experiences that exist universally regardless of their situation. Aside from preparing a small list of ice-breakers and questions, it really is just a matter of listening and finding something to talk about.

Rainel Faminialagao

2020-11-05 14:47:18 UTC

In all honesty, the idea of changing the topic doesn't sit well with me. It's as if we're trying to ignore the obvious divide that exists between people. It's still there, and trying to ignore that fact doesn't do anything to change it. Rather than ignore it, I feel its important to bridge that gap and come to the understanding that we are still people at the end of the day. These people are placing their trust in you by sharing their lives and experiences, to reciprocate that trust by closing ourselves off strikes me as a disservice.
We didn't always live in a large house. As the oldest of my siblings I still remember a time when I practically lived with my grandparents because my parents couldn't support having me. Those were the days that I spent around Tricycle and Jeepney drivers as these were both of my grandfathers' occupations. And it was those times that really sparked my admiration for them. They were incredibly strong people. You are incredibly strong people.
And from someone who used to live in a small house where the bathroom was a newspaper and a bucket. Things do get better, give it time and who knows what might happen? In a few years someone might even comment on how big your house is!

To be truthful, I don't know if what I'm saying is correct. But if these people are willing to tell us their stories, it's only fair to try and reciprocate in a way that helps them understand us as much as we want to understand them. Trust is a two way street, and its these shared experiences that solidify the conversation as a human interaction rather than a one-sided interrogation.

martincandelaria — 2020-11-06 08:28:32 UTC

I would apologize as soon as I can considering that I am supposed to be on time, and being late made me waste the time of others. I would be honest on why I was late because I should not make it worse. I would compensate my act of being late by actively participating as soon as I join and apologize.

2020-11-06 14:00:07 UTC

To add to my previous reply, I took into account Rainel's answer and realized that being dismissive of Nanay's statement is somehow off-putting. Perhaps another way of replying to Nanay is to ask about their home. For example, asking "Gaano katagal na po ba kayo nakatira sa bahay niyo?" is possible. Then, ask about their experiences in their current home and build on that topic.

This is a very awkward situation and honestly, I don't think a lot of people would be able to handle this smoothly without knowing beforehand. But my point still stands, the conversation is about them and we should listen. - Ashley Benitez

Dianne Sy

diannesy — 2020-11-07 03:49:28 UTC

I would say that I just want to know them and also hear their stories. It's because I believe that as a person, we can learn from each other's experiences in life. As what others say, "Experience is the best teacher." With this, I would love to learn from their experiences and have greater grasp on what life is. I have a big respect for them, that's why I would value all of their opinions and perspectives.

Dianne Sy

diannesy — 2020-11-07 04:02:22 UTC

I think that I will prepare for Online Kwentuhan by having a quiet time with God. It's because I acknowledge that I can't do it alone. I need a guidance from the Lord to teach me how to think, speak, and act in a way that He wants me to. Aside from this, I feel like I need to have a mindfulness exercise to put my mind into the right perspective.

Dianne Sy

diannesy — 2020-11-07 04:11:44 UTC

I would try not to interrupt the momentum of the kwentuhan, so I think that I'll just silently listen first to know what's happening. After that, I can actively engage already. However, If I will be asked if why am I late, I'll just be honest and ask for apology.

diannesy — 2020-11-07 04:16:30 UTC

All my attention would just be focused to the one I'm talking to. It's because I want to make him feel that I value all the words that he would say.

Dianne Sy

diannesy — 2020-11-07 04:41:28 UTC

For me, I think that it would be best to keep the flow of the conversation naturally. Finding a common ground that both of us can relate would be a great start. Honestly, I think that having a structured conversation prepared already would just limit the conversation to the way how you want it to be. It might feel like an interrogation if that's the case. To prevent this, i think that building up a convo from her answers would be the best.

agavillaroman — 2020-11-08 17:41:18 UTC

I'll just proceed with things normally as if nothing happened. This honestly isn't a big deal for me and I fail to see why it would ever be since it's a normal thing. However, this can be an opportunity to talk about the people surrounding my partner especially if it's someone they're close to like family.

2020-11-09 02:27:52 UTC

I will enter the Online Kuwentuhan with an open mind and listen to what each person has to say.

Bernice Amoyo

catherineamoyo — 2020-11-11 12:28:05 UTC

I'll prepare myself by having an open mind about the people I'll be interacting with. Having a list of topics to talk about might also be helpful especially during the kwentuhan session itself.

Thank you for all your honest responses. Really appreciated those who mentioned to tell the truth about his/her reason for being late. For this particular scenario (which has the highest chance to happen), kindly take note of the following:1. For all our Binhi activities (synchronous sessions) we are giving a 10 minute grace period. Beyond this, you are no longer allowed to join the session as you mentioned this session has been planned and our community/area partners offered their time for us so we should respect the set time we signed up for. So please avoid this scenario from happening. 2. Please inform me immediately and wait for my instruction via canvas or email :) 3. And it's also important to inform your groupmates. It's highly encouraged to have a groupchat platform so you can remind everyone and to easily communicate with your groupmates. 4. Again, you can avoid this from happening by properly disposing yourself and taking in mind all the necessary preparations.

estiponalelitlee — 2020-11-20 03:22:18 UTC

Thank you for all your inputs. If this scenario happens: 1. I highly encouraged to just rest and to no longer attempt to attend the kwentuhan session, because this might affect your participation greatly. Of course I want you to maximize the experience so trying so hard to participate not feeling okay is not a good idea. So please inform me immediately and also let your groupmates know so they wouldn't be expecting you. 2. I will message you right as soon as I can. 3. To avoid this, please take enough time to rest, to sleep, and to eat healthy :)

estiponalelitlee — 2020-11-20 03:45:59 UTC

1. An hour before your scheduled Online Kwentuhan, check your connection if possible have a backup data connection if in any case there's a wifi interruption/ disconnection. This is highly recommended (esp sa mga may kakayahan, pero sa walang backup data, please inform me immediately) 2. Inform your formator immediately and your groupmates as well. 3. Save my contact details esp phone number so it's easier for you to communicate with me if you are having a hard time connecting to the internet/data. 4. You can also ask one of your groupmates number so you can immediately inform them as well. 5. And during the session, if your connection still does not cooperate well, inform me immediately via email, canvas or sms so I can provide you the possible arrangement of you joining another session.

estiponalelitlee — 2020-11-20 04:02:56 UTC

1. This is one of the fundamental goals of the kwentuhan. The same thing as looking without judgment, we also listen without judgment. 2. Acknowledge the person's sharing/story say thank you for allowing you to listen and how difficult it is to share that particular life story. And to know that we are listening and empathizing with them. 3. Finally, we value every story/info sharing's confidentiality. We keep it to ourselves/ within the group.

estiponalelitlee — 2020-11-20 04:49:10 UTC

And just to add do not share this information outside the group especially if nanay/tatay named names.

estiponalelitlee — 2020-11-20 04:57:17 UTC

Thank you for all your inputs. Agree with most of you, we want to make this kwentuhan session less of an interview like session. By merely listening actively, asking one question can go a long way especially for those who are so fond of this or not new to this kind of activity. As much as we want to lessen or come up with no structure given our current situation, we are acknowledging the fact that this can be very difficult to some of you; so to lessen your anxiety and apprehension in communicating and continuing the conversation for a 1.5 hour kwentuhan, we make sure that formator-in-charge will be there for the whole duration of the kwentuhan to guide and to facilitate the session. And as part of your preparations, some of you already mentioned we will be asking you to prepare possible questions that you would want to ask to the community members. Syempre pwede nating simulan sa pangungumusta at pagpapakilala or a simple ice breaker questions. You can also ask about a certain topic using this guide:FORD which stands for Family.Occupation. Recreation. Dreams; and RAFT for Recreation. Activities.Friends/Family. Talents/telenovelas. You may use this to craft certain questions about a specific aspect of their lives. Again this is just a guide, we don't want you to stick so much to this that you might be missing a lot of points from our community members :) Again, reiterating some of your classmates points -let the conversation flow naturally.

estiponalelitlee — 2020-11-20 06:31:27 UTC

Thank you for all your responses, really appreciated everything that you mentioned. So please keep this all in mind :) Answer politely and honestly that this is part of your course (though alam naman nila ito dahil nagkaroon din naman sila ng orientation patungkol sa activity, but just in case our area partners forgot this atleast we can remind this what is this activity for) Understanding the Self and through this activity we hope to learn from you (area partners) and also be able to share something also to you during the kwentuhan :) So just a little reminder for everyone, we don't make concrete promises na hindi naman natin magagawa or gagawin, again we go back to our main point of doing this activity - pakikipagkwentuhan. That through this activity kagaya ng mga binanggit ninyo mas mapalawak ang pagkilala/ perspektibo lalo na sa mga taong hindi naman natin araw-araw nakakasalamuha o may kaunting kaalaman lamang tayo patungkol sa kanilang sektor na kinabibilangan. At sa pamamagitan nito ay mas makilala natin sila para kapag dumating ang araw na may gusto tayong gawin para sa kuminidad at iba pang katulad na adbokasiya alam natin ano ang unang gagawin - kilalanin sila, alamin ang kanilang kontekto at kanilang mga pinanggagalingan :)

estiponalelitlee — 2020-11-27 02:46:25 UTC

To add to what have been mentioned, equally important is to prepare ourselves physically so make sure to be there in the session on time in respect to the time our partners has offered us. 2. The right disposition, sensitivity and openness as what some of you highlighted as well. And also to emphasize that you are all right, we are not saviors or messiah this is a very important mindset to bring with you during the session. 3. Look for a space/place in the house where you can participate freely with less to no distractions. Kindly review our online engagement guidelines uploaded in the canvas :) And also to particpate in out preparatory module/acitivities. 4. We higly encouraged you to speak in Filipino/tagalog but definitely not a requirement in an online kwentuhan. We recognized that some if not all, are not used to the language but this is what our area partners are comfortable with so please ask for assistance from your groupmates or ask for my help during the session if you are having a hard time communicating as long as you will be able to express yourself freely :)

estiponalelitlee — 2020-11-27 04:28:52 UTC

Agree with all of your responses so long as it is not causing too much distraction or maybe we can use this as a strategy to further the kwentuhan by asking more questions and maybe letting them join the session :) And another important reminder for us, we are there to observe without judgment; by looking also from our heart instead of just our eyes.

estiponalelitlee — 2020-11-27 05:30:36 UTC

Agree with all the points discussed, actually it's really up to us individually how we will respond to this comment some are comfortable enough to simply reply back; some would take this as an opportunity to dig deeper especially if this reveals the current status nanay/tatay but definitely we can all agree to first acknowledged the comment by simply saying thank you, or a simple smile and then kunting biro "hindi po nakapaglinis lang" or another strategy to keep the conversation going by also asking something related to the comment to avoid shifting to another topic that might be a little off to some. So you can ask more questions like kayo po sino po kasama ninyo sa bahay/kwarto, and then maybe nanay/tatay can invite them over to join the session (only if they are comfortable)

estiponalelitlee — 2020-11-27 05:49:41 UTC

2020-12-11 19:29:13 UTC

I'd say that it's important to widen one's view on the world. We shouldn't be focused on our own little world where we have only our own set of hardships, what we go through isn't necessarily what everyone goes through. Understanding each other and each other's experiences can go a very long way in improving our society. - Robyn Reyes