Mark 1:15 NIV
I want to be like the disciples and follow God despite what i am doing.

I didn’t really take much from this but i realised how God loves them in the Old Testament. I saw how God gave sign and wonders to show the people that he still cares and loves them. More specifically, the one where God showed isaiah the shadow and move that shadow ten steps back, this was an act that he still cares and loves the people. For me, i think there are so many times where i felt God’s presence is small and whenever i need to go to Him i can go, but i think i should really start this habit of connecting to Him regularly again not just church time but also in my personal walk with God because ultimately this love was paid in full for me and what i should do it to really love Him back by spending more time with Him

This passage was talkign about how the past king and those who have succeeded as king of isreal follow the footsteps of the other kings, which is worshipping idols and did sinful stuff. What amazes me was how God still cares even when he was angry with the kings. This eventually led to isreal’s downfall where God eventually did something to isrealite. I think relating this in my life, i felt that i’m really the worse person that God could ever love, i saw how ugly i am; i’m clumsy, prideful and even stubborn. But God still loves me and still journeying with me and for that i’m really greatful because God is always faithful to me. I really saw how i grew a lot in christ even though i felt that i was very slow in the process. But j think that God still have a plan for me even though i felt unworthy of his presence at times

I didn’t really learned much from this chapter, it was talking about how King Josiah wept in God’s presence and He promised to gather king Josiah to be with his ancestors in peace so that he would not see Isreal’s disasters. 

Recently I’m reading a book about Identity, I really learn a lot and also trying to make sense of who I am in God and it really helped me to understand God Himself and even what does it mean to seek spiritual desires. Certain things that I’ve learned and was quite convicted about is how I am so unworthy and ugly in the inner part of myself. I didn’t really saw this as a huge deal at first because of how as a person, I need to be strong and not to think of those things because one needs to be strong in order for achieve your goals. I was quite blinded by what the world tells me and it seems sensible to me, rather than just doing that, I think that God is helping me to rediscover myself in Him and bringing me a journey of uncertainty where things are stripped away again and have to relearn about how unworthy I am and also how blessed I am to even have the relationship with God because of sin in my life.

When i read this chapter, a question was popped in my head “Do i renew my covenant woth God everyday and turn to Him?” I think my answer for this will be a no. There are times where i sought after the worldly things and there are also time where i faced God and start to run back to Him; it was more of sitting on the fence type of thing. This chapter is a strong reminder that covenant with God renews daily and not just a one time thing because by doing so, It will help you to set the day right with Him. 

Mark 3:35 NIV 

All of the kings that reign Isreal left a legacy behind. Most where sinning against God and only a handful of kings actually obeyed an turn to God. I think one thing that i questioned myself is what legacy do i want to leave behind when i move on? It’s not just about how well i lead but rather did i fulfill my role as an leader faithfully that is honouring to God. I think truth to be told there are time where we fall and trip; mistakes where made and even stuff they we should have done but did not do. I was reminded that God entrusted me to take care of His flock and he is molding me in the process. Though uncertain, i want to trust more in Him by walking forward knowing that he will meet my needs and provide me with the stuff that benefits me

As this chapter comes to end, isreal was really in it’s worse shape that it could be and it seems like it has not hope for an revival of God’s people. I think i saw certain parts of my life as unchangable because it’s really to the point of no return as it is hard to either turn or trust in Him, but one thing that i was reminded is God is working. He is moving and planning it out perfectly for us and there is nothing God cannot do and He is laying a path for me to walk on. For that, I really want to thank Him and His plans for me because i couldn’t be where i am if not for Him. To the places i find it hopeless to change, i think something that i want to do is to actively surrender to Him daily and never underestimate what He can do in my life

Didn’t really learn much from it but through this chapters I saw how God used men powerfully despite the brokenness within them. I think it just shows how much God can use one for His kingdom and furthermore even being faithful with them. This also showed the sinfulness of Men where God has to distant Himself before Jesus died on the cross and it often depicts God as very harsh and yet very angered God. I think that I need to take sin more seriously as this is a reminder for me that sin hurt Him and I have to turn away from it.

These chapters concluded David as king and the rising of king Solomon. What captured my attention was how king David said in his last sentance “ everything is from you” it shows how he captured that everything that he had and everything that he had own is from God himself. As I reflect and meditate on this, i felt that some times I acknowledge this, even heard this many times before but I refuse to let go of certain situations because I like the feeling of knowing and planning out my life events. I like the feeling of knowing when and at what age I want to achieve so that when someone asks me about what is my life goal and at what age I want this and that, I have an answer for it. It shows how sinful self-independence is and how much I am a sinner, nothing wrong with having life goals for yourself but when God ask you to let go of it, am I willing to? It’s something I need to surrender to him over again because He has something much better than mine and I got to trust and have faith in Him

Through this, i learnt take God’s plan is not just a huge goal that you have to hit by a certain time but it’s a step by step process which might seem frustrating but it’s something that God want’s us to lean to His understanding. I didn’t really take much away but it’s something that i want to continue to do to kick start my self-reflection again.

A good reminder of how to make decisions in life, bothing really special but its aim is to help you make decision in a wise and Godly manner. I didn’t really learn much but it was something can help me to lead the grads better

Parables of the workers in vineyard.

The parable has often been interpreted to mean that even those who are converted late in life earn equal rewards along with those converted early, and also that people who convert early in life need not feel jealous of those later converts.

“Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

““Which of the two did what his father wanted?” “The first,” they answered. Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him.”

I think after reading today’s qt. I was really taken aback by what God is trying to teach me today. Because I had been thinking about like the path of everybody’s life. What I mean by this is like those who knew Jesus at an early age and those who don’t. Those we know Jesus at the end of their lives get the same praises and rewards as those who converted earlier in their lives. This question was finally answered. I was thinking to myself the past few months and was feeling uneasy to the fact that “it is unfair” and I knew smth was wrong already but today I had my answer and I’m so satisfied 🙏🏻 praying for God to warm and soften my heart for the people who has yet know him and share the things that the Lord has prepared for them EVEN at their last days.