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Many thanks for your contribution.

Sure the la even consulted I didn’t see the paperwork.

He hated school was severely overwhelmed and had regular meltdown, shutdown and burnout each term without fail.

But we carried on trying. Into year 1 he just couldn’t cope with the demand. We believed he was pda and adhd along with other complex needs. He had transport to a school 8 miles from home which took 45mins. Within a term he was in burnout stopped engaging, refused food even more. Cahms rejected 3 referrals. He just hit a brick wall leaving the house. We were told he’s fine when he is here, despite on the odd occasions when I did take him where he was running back to me in the carpark and often carried on struggling and screaming by staff who assured me he was ok when inside. (One member of staff said, if you carry on kicking im going to remove your shoes and I know you don’t like that) if felt very cruel. I should have trusted my gut at that point however if he refused at the door he just didn’t go to school.

Months of this went by. He looks more and more ill. Lost weight and disengaged. He was severely depressed, a shadow of himself emotionally and physically. He spend most of yr1 at home.

One week before the end of year one and I still had no transition plan and had no idea who his teacher was, the head ignored my emails so I called and asked why I had no plan given he is a child with additional needs and also a child who had been out of school months.

I spoke to the dept head who told me my so was fine always happy and that I was being sensitive.

Summer holidays he struggles but being home he got his spark back, until 2 weeks before September when I lost him again. He was so pale refused to communicate and just anxious and depressed. A 6 year old depressed. He refuses to go to school that day and he hasn’t been back since.

I don’t know what happened in the school and I’m petrified to do a sar request. It has to be more that the environment being damaging although I’m fully aware it may well have been just the environment.

But he was diagnosed at 6 with chronic anxiety, depressions, social phobia and separation anxiety. He is recovering with an amazing therapeutic eotas package as no school can meet need. School almost took my boy from me.

Age three, his teacher told us he had no friends, didn't interact with activities and cried for the majority of the day. Apparently this was the fault of us, the parents. He was identified as autistic but no extra support was put in place. 

Age four, the same teacher told us he was a bully, sent him home early for "bad behaviour" and called meetings where she did impressions of him being unkind. Again, his behaviour was attributed to us, the parents. There was no support in school, unless you count him being moved off the carpet to sit on a chair on his own. 

He came home one day with vomit on his coat. He had been put on timeout for blowing raspberries and talking back, and was told he wasn't allowed to play outside with the others. He cried until he vomited up his lunch. 

Age five, he learned to mask. He was "fine" in school and given no extra support. At home, he threatened to hurt himself so he didn't have to go to school. He woke up in the middle of the night having nightmares about time outs and being sent to the head's office. In the mornings, he clung to the school gates and the TA prized his fingers off and carried him in crying. He had meltdowns every evening, hurting us and himself. Yet he was "fine" in school.

By the summer term, he broke. He was unable to talk, walk, do activities or see people. He now hasn't left the flat for sixteen weeks.

We are still waiting for an autism assessment date. He has no diagnosis and no EHCP. CAMHS have turned down two referrals. He is unable to attend school and I have resigned in order to care for him- not by choice and not financially viable for me.

My child is NOT A GHOST. He is not a loner or a bully, and he is is NOT fine. My child is a wonderful, creative, hilarious person who happens to be disabled. And because of this, he has been left behind.