https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg Heavy: An American Memoir | Andrea Guerrero, Priscilla Hernandez, Prince Nwalozie, Jessica Muñoz, Banessa Ramirez en-us 2022-01-27 17:19:58 UTC 2024-07-15 11:50:44 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f418.png PrinceNwalozie https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2018191845 2022-01-28 16:13:03 UTC https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2018191845 PrinceNwalozie https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2018192624 2022-01-28 16:13:28 UTC https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2018192624 PrinceNwalozie https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2018196602 2022-01-28 16:15:26 UTC https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2018196602 PrinceNwalozie https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2018344851 pp. 1-9
"Heavy: An American Memoir" has discussed the lifestyle of a Southern black boy through the lens of his older self, and his recollection of the several different experiences that shaped the rather opposing man he is today. The novel features several large themes, with the main big ideas being freedom and acceptance. These big ideas play a role in the main character Kie's perception of his life long-term.

Freedom in the novel is a concept discussed in detail with race relations, especially concerning Kie's identity as a black young man in the South. Freedom is something of a luxury to Kie because of his identity. In addition to being black and being predisposed to racial disparity, Kie lives among a mother who is implicitly seen as abusive. Her dialogue with Kie is seen on Page 6 of the novel, where Kie's mother states "I don't remember hurting you as much as you remember being hurt, Kie. I'm not saying it didn't happen. I'm just saying I don't remember everything the way you do" (6). This quote was given to describe the ways that his mother made him feel like a beautiful black man, and the way that this freedom of living contently within his skin was taken away with her abuse. ]]> 2022-01-28 17:33:50 UTC https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2018344851 aguerrero0100 https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2018345009 The memoir Heavy by Kiese Laymon, starts of with the protagonist Kai reflecting on his childhood and how now as an older person he comes into acceptance about the trauma and abuse he has endured. It is prevalent in the fist few pages of the book that the big idea of Generational Trauma greatly influences how he was raised. Due his Grandma growing up in the south when segregation was still accepted her fears on what it might be like for Kai to grow up transfer over, this influences how Kai sees the world and how he has come to accept what has happened to him. Kai was brought up also with he idea of Conformity as he was raised to be intellectual as his mother feared and hoped he wouldn't feel inadequate when being a room full of white people. As we learn more about his childhood Kai constantly talks about the abuse and trauma hes endured by the women in his family but not yet explaing to the full extent what happened. His mother says, "I don't remember hurting you as much as you remember being hurt, Kai."(Laymean, 6). ]]> 2022-01-28 17:33:56 UTC https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2018345009 phernande0169 https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2018345065 pg. 1-21
In this first section, Laymon introduces the complex dynamic he has with his Grandma and mother. A big idea that can be traced in this section is of trauma and pressure. His mom and grandma play such a pivotal role in his development and their ideas travel through him. Laymon's mom manipulates him into believing that she didn't try to hurt him and doesn't remember trying to. By her words, she is morphing his mind into what she wants him to believe at a very vulnerable stage in his life. She is creating the normalcy of abuse. Pressure is around him wherever he is. Another topic that is prevalent is generational conditioning. Laymon describes how he was taught by big boys who were taught by big boys... (so on) that black girls would be okay no matter what they did to them. Again, they are being conditioned into seeing abusive behavior as routine through what they are taught at home. They become a reflection of what they learn]]> 2022-01-28 17:33:58 UTC https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2018345065 jmunoz0195 https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2018347868 2022-01-28 17:35:07 UTC https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2018347868 bramireza0003 https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2018348598 Kiese Laymon's American Memoir, Heavy, reflects on his experiences during his childhood. Kie has incorporated conversations he had with his grandma and memories he has with his mother. His mother wanted him to be educated and book-smart as to not be intimidated or belittled if ever confronted with, essentially, white men trying to scare him/have power over him. Despite having good intentions for her son, Kie's mom has hurt him many times throughout his childhood, which she claims to not remember as he does. This can be deemed as gaslighting as it is meant to minimize and discredit Kie's feelings for personal gain and image. Kie also goes to visit his grandma in which she mentions that she is afraid that if she tries to help him from drowning, he will see that she is too. This beautiful analogy portrays how black people face racial injustice and inequality yet are unable to save each other from it #]]> 2022-01-28 17:35:26 UTC https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2018348598 bramireza0003 https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2061066420 In the second section of the book, we learn that Laymon begins to understand what it means to be in a male black body. He writes, " America seems to be filled with violent people who like causing people pain but hate when those people tell them that pain hurts" (pg. 88). With this quote, Laymon expresses how black people are constantly targeted by police and are criminalized despite being innocent, and yet, nothing can be done to really do anything about this problem. Such a quote is an example of Man VS Society conflict incorporated into the book. When he and his mom are stopped by the police, Kiese is questioned and targeted by the police even after learning that he is a minor. Despite being shown a license, the policeman continues to hold Kie and his mother against their will until they are excused by another policeman. As the book proceeds, we also see examples of Man VS Self when Kie is being beaten by his mother. He is at war with himself as to how he should react since he does not want to be hurt by his mother but he also does not want to hurt his mother. Kie is aware that he is much taller and heavier than his mother and can easily stop her. However, knowing this, he cannot bring himself to harm her and decided to just take the beatings. This messes with his perception of love and abuse since his mother always apologizes and claims she loves him afterwards. The line between love and abuse is blurred and messes with his head since it's all he's ever known and has never questioned it. All he knows is that it feels wrong and that it hurts. Kiese expresses multiple times that he regrets each time he trusts his mother. It is a painful realization to want to trust a parent yet know you are unable to. ]]> 2022-02-22 17:41:02 UTC https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2061066420 PrinceNwalozie https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2061390817 pp. 9-61 (Part I)
Up to what I've read, Kie is a character that values his emotional connections with people extremely, the highest of which he possesses with his mother. This, however, leads to an internal and external conflict between Kie and himself as well as Kie and society. Kie struggles with his self-perception and the view of himself in terms of his body, masculinity and worth, and because of this, he has a warped perception of how he should be treated in relation to how the people around him value him. Additionally, Kie feels a constant pressure to live up to a societal expectation as a black boy in the South, and he struggles to fit the mold that he has been conditioned by society, his mother included, to fit into as an African-American.]]> 2022-02-22 20:57:31 UTC https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2061390817 phernande0169 https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2061705280
As Laymon advances through his memoir, the readers are able to get a better understanding of how he processes his emotions and traumatic experiences, especially his relationship with his mom. His mother is extremely strict and expects highly of Kie, making her do things she thinks are for the best. The constant abuse, not only physical but mental, cause Kie to have a conflict within himself. He has been conditioned to have a distorted perception of love and violence.  He has to keep things bottled up (pg 42) because he feels like no one understands him, proving to be detrimental to his mental health. He doesn't want to harm his mother and will constantly forgive her actions because he has been conditioned to not understand what violence is. Kie becomes unable to process emotions properly because of his trauma, having an internal conflict within himself. Furthermore, Laymon goes into the conflict between himself and society. After Kie moves into a predominantly white school, he experiences the expectations set for him by society. They had to be taught to be perfect to fit white standards and work twice as hard. When Kie and his mom get stopped by the police it reflects exactly what society has conditioned them to behave like in these situations. The police officer was aiming his questions all towards Kie, even though he was a minor. Whether they were speaking "correct English" or not could still get them killed, even being complacent. There is a set routine that they must go by when they come across a police officer ]]> 2022-02-23 01:57:55 UTC https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2061705280 aguerrero0100 https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2061905288 Since our last book club, Laymon's personal memoir has progressed dramatically. We learn that his mother is very abusive and often hits Kie. Kie's mother is one of the more prevalent conflicts present in the book. From the beginning, Kie discusses how in his last conversation with his mother she said, "I don't remember hurting you as much as you remember being hurt Kie" Although the readers didn't understand what she was referencing, the deeper we get into this memoir the more we come to understand Kie's relationship with his mother. While Kie look's up to his mother greatly and holds her to such a high respect, the relationship with his mother has made Kie have a warped perception of love. Although there are times Kie states that his mother caresses him and hugs him, he knows how wrong it is for her to hit him, but as this is the way he grew up he excuses her abuse and thinks it's love.
Another conflict prevalent in the memoir is Kie's body. Throughout the book, Kie constantly criticizes his body as it is heavier than others. He often finds himself doubting himself and the relationships he has with others due to his body. ]]> 2022-02-23 04:41:53 UTC https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2061905288 phernande0169 https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2067323746 In this part of the book, Kie has introduced the relationship he has with Abby Claremont. Kie tried to keep the relationship secretive because he knew that he would face judgment for being with a white girl. This first happened when his friend LaThon found out and he told him that they know better than to do those things. Being with Abby made Kie feel like he was betraying his mother and his community. Shaming these kinds of interracial relationships is part of all their upbringings and they are taught this behavior is wrong.  When his mother found out, she beat him as punishment for being with a white girl. Despite this, Kie continued to be with Abby. At this point, there is a clear shift in Kie's character when he stated that making his mom feel things she didn't want to feel made him feel good. Previously, he was very forgiving of his mother and never saw the abuse as real abuse, he always excused it. With this no longer being the case, Kie has started to understand the true damage his mother has caused him. Before LaThon and Kie part ways they have a very emotional moment where they tell each other they loved each other, a very pure scene. It is clear they both needed to say this to each other because they were essentially each other’s support systems and LaThon was always helpful to Kie even if it was the painful truth. The memoir then emerges to its third section, with Kie’s mom going to Harvard University, leaving Kie. His mother leaving, was freedom for Kie. Evidently, he feels suffocated with his mom and this is not a healthy relationship. Before she leaves she tells him to be perfect. I don't think she sees the weight of these words because perfection cannot be obtained because it does not exist, Kie is expected to reach an unattainable standard. 

After Kie’s mother finds out about his relationship with Abby, she beats him as a punishment. He continues to see Abby and a clear shift can be seen in Kie’s character. He states, “making you feel what you didn't want to feel when you didn't want to feel it was one of the best feelings in my world.” Before this point, Kie always forgave his mother for the clear abuse his mother put him through. He always found some way to excuse this violent behavior, causing him to have a warped perception of abuse. It is straight textbook gaslighting that his mother does to Kie and it makes him very vulnerable. At the beginning of the memoir, Kie states, “ I knew you didn't want to hurt me because you sometimes touched me like you loved me.” He himself knows this wasn't clear love, he says “like” you loved me. Kie was trying to convince himself it was love, that was how he tried to cope with the violent treatment coming from his mom. From this contradiction, it is evident that Kie is growing out of his old ways of thinking, specifically in terms of his mother. He is starting to get a grasp on how to process emotions and the way people treated him. He was in his most important developmental stages when the abuse was going on so this manipulation has stuck with him. 

The tough choice Kie must make is how he should come terms with the abusive behavior brought on by his mother, which shows how Kie is learning to not blame himself for the traumatic events that have happened to him and will hold people like his mother accountable. He would always excuse her clearly abusive and manipulative behavior nd would try to reason the beatings. Now, Kie is developing and entering his maturing stages and this means that he will see things in a new light he could not see before because he was in such a vulnerable  state, suffocated by people like his mother. Finally being able to process his trauma and make the choice of holding people responsible for what they did to him is going to give him the chance to not keep everything bottled up inside him or let people take advantage of him. Specifically in terms with his mother, Kie is wanting his mother to feel things she does not want to, what she makes him feel, showing that he is not going to let her abuse control him. 

]]> 2022-02-26 06:44:17 UTC https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2067323746 bramireza0003 https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2068779847 Kiese begins to date a white girl, Abby Claremont, and feels special when he's with her; he feels loved, wanted, and cared for. However, he begins to experience disapproval from his basketball coach because Kiese is not playing well or giving his best efforts while playing. Due to this, his basketball coach suggests he stop "chasing a nut" and break up with Abby, a distraction, in order to focus on basketball. This leaves Kiese especially upset when his coach goes on to call his mother and expose his relationship with Abby. Kiese's mother is enraged to find out that Kiese is dating a white girl and claims that he needed to learn the difference between "loving someone and loving the way someone mace him feel." His mother went on to call him beautiful yet beat him up when Kiese told her he wasn't sure he could accept her advice after her relationship with Malachi Hunter. Kiese could tell his mother was hurt by what he said, and knowing this, he felt joy in being able to stab back at her after all the pain she's caused him. 

Earlier throughout the book, Kiese constantly explains that he does not desire to hurt his mother in any way despite being taller, heavier, and stronger than her. Kie expresses, "I was... nine inches taller and over forty pounds heavier than you. The softer parts of my heart and body were getting harder... and didn't want to hurt you, but they wanted to never, ever be hurt by you again" (89). This shows Kiese's internal conflict about what actions he could take regarding his mother's abuse since he knows he could easily stop her yet refrains from doing so because he knows he could harm her. However, as mentioned earlier, Kiese's mom beats him up after finding out about his relationship with Abby Claremont and attempts to give him advice. Kie calls out her hypocrisy since she was once in an abusive relationship, and this clearly upsets her further and proceeds to beat him up again. Still, it satisfies Kie that "making [her] feel what [she] didn't want to feel when [she] didn't want to feel it was one of the best feelings in [his] world" (99). This clear contrast between his initial desire to abstain from hurting his mother to now considering it one of the best feelings in the world begins to show how he is processing his experiences differently and wants to do something about it. 

This conflict about whether to hurt his mother or not in order to fight against her abuse tells us that Kiese is ready to come to terms with the fact that he needs to hold not only his mother, but everyone who has hurt him, accountable for the pain and trauma he experienced up to that point in his life. Beforehand, Kiese constantly blamed himself instead of admitting that it was not his fault. This stark difference in maturity shows that Kiese is realizing how his vulnerability was used against him, especially by his mother who constantly suffocated him with her abusive tendencies, not only physically but emotionally as well. Developing a way to hurt his mother back was his first step in avenging himself and offering closure instead of instantly forgiving and leaving the pain for him to deal with alone. With this closure comes a new phase in Kiese's life where he is allowing himself to have a little more freedom and choice in who he wants to forgive and when which further insinuates that he is maturing. ]]> 2022-02-28 03:41:11 UTC https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2068779847 PrinceNwalozie https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2068933909 Author Kiese Laymon begins his memoir delineating his intent in writing it, and although the audience to which Laymon's speaker, Kiese (himself) uses the second-person "you" is never directly revealed, it is implied within the next few pages of the first chapter that Laymon uses this habitual literary tool to reference his mother, and it can be concluded that this memoir is dedicated and written in the form of a letter to her. In recent pages (the end of the first part of the novel, pp. 61), Kiese spent a night at his grandmother's house following attendance of Sunday mass and confrontation of white folk. It's at this section of the novel that we see Kiese's struggles with sexuality, body positivity, abuse, and more come to light through the report he writes for his grandmother.

What makes Kiese unique in his train of thought is the way his ideas are brought to light. Almost everything read about Kiese's character has passed in the span of less than a couple of months, and yet it can be inferred through Kiese's writing that he processes every sequence of events individually and with attention to perspective. However, one of these sequences where such is not the case is when his mother turns to face him after a day at Beulah Beauford's house and Kiese notices her black eye. His immediate course of action upon their arrival home is to run to get the gun from under his mother's pillow, with the assumed intention of killing Malachi Hunter; thankfully, however, Kiese's mother retrieves the gun first and with ample speed, consciously aware of his purpose. In spite of Kiese's intent never coming into fruition, his contradictory character is reflected through his contrasting mindset. Kiese has been painted to value his mother above all things, and his relationship with his mother, albeit rocky, has highlighted a strong dichotomy between emotional and physical affection. The contradiction in Kiese's character can be attributed to his mother's vulnerability with her son in unveiling her signs of abuse, even without direct statement.

This further highlights some of the choices Kiese has made within the novel that have drawn attention to the skewed nature of Kiese's self-perception. Some of the tough questions that Kiese has faced from others are based around his weight, his masculinity, his mother, his presentation, and his success in a world where black success is only as good as white failure. Kiese's responsive choices to battle these internal and external questions include overindulging to block out emotions, running from the world through reading, and slaving away through literary proficiency, as he is directed to excel in. Over these pages in the novel, we interact with Kiese as a multifaceted and complex character whose layered experiences continue to develop the broken man he is becoming.]]> 2022-02-28 06:17:04 UTC https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2068933909 aguerrero0100 https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2070901887 Since the last time our book club met Kie started a secret relationship whit a white girl named Abby Claremont. Kie wanted to keep this relationship secret because he knew the judgment that would come if he went public with it. When he finally opens up to someone about his relationship with Abbey his friend LaThon he told him that her should know better than to be with a white women. Ultimately when his mother finds out about his relationship with he white girl she is greatly angred and says he need to learn the difference between "loving someone and loving the way someone mace him feel."
After Kei's mother finds out about his relationship with Abby Kie doesn't take hios mothers advise and instead talks about how he wont take advise after he saw her relationship[ with Malachai he knew he hurt his mothers feelings. As someone who was constantly abused Kei never wanted to hit his mother back even though he could abd he stated that he wouldnt want to hurt her but when he talked about Malachai he knew he hurt her stating, “making you feel what you didn't want to feel when you didn't want to feel it was one of the best feelings in my world.” Although Kei has strated that he doesnt want tot hurt his mother this though has slowly been fading away.
A tough decision Kie has to come to is his realtionship with his abusive mother. Kie is begingin to hold his mother responsible and not blame himself.


]]> 2022-03-01 06:35:03 UTC https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2070901887 bramireza0003 https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2080235463 1:15 - 1:39

In Page 120, Kiese is finally leaving to college and saying goodbye to his mother. "You disappeared. I was free." This expresses how being with his mother was like being trapped and being unable to breathe. The first line in the second verse of I Love You So by The Walters says "I'm gonna pack my things and leave you behind" which connects to how desperately Kiese was ready to leave home and be free from his mother. However, in pages 138-139, Kiese is back at home with his mom for the first time after going to college. The lights in the house are once again off, his mother excusing it as a neighborhood blackout. At this time, Kiese's mother was leaving to Harvard but checked the mail beforehand and received Kie's report card in which it showed he had not been the "perfect student." Angered by this, his mother rushed to her closet and reached for a belt to beat him with. She lashed him in multiple body parts and "went on and on about ruining the only chance [he] had to be free." At this, Kiese grabs the belt from his mother's hand and threw it against the bookshelf he was standing by. His mother was left in shock and looked at her son the same way she looked at her abusive boyfriend when he was angry: in fear. This was the first time Kiese had ever stood up for himself against his mother despite being abused physically and emotionally by her his whole life. Kiese states, "You knew, for the first time, my body was not afraid of yours" (pg. 139). Line "This feelings old and I know that I made up my mind" in I Love You So connects to this scene since it is evident that Kiese is used to the abuse he endures done by his mother hence "this feelings old" yet has decided that he has had enough in which he has "made up his mind." At this point, Malachi, his mother's abusive boyfriend, honked the car signaling her to go outside. His mother called Kiese the "most self-destructive person [she] had ever met" in which Kie argued back that if she wanted him to take her advice, she would have to "learn to pay her damn light bill and stop riding in cars with disasters." It's clear that they were angry with one another and wanted to hurt the other's feelings. Line "I hope you feel what I felt when you shattered my soul" in I Love You So clearly depicts what both Kie and his mother were feeling. They both hurt each other with their words and actions yet wanted nothing more than to make the other hurt more. The scene ends with "We were both telling the truth. We were both lying. We were both telling the truth." With this, Kiese is trying to express that both he and his mother said hurtful yet truthful things to each other yet it wasn't what they really thought of one another since it was said in anger and hence the lying part. However, despite not being their true opinion of one another, the things Kie said about his mother and vice versa still stood and were true. The final line in the second verse of I Love You So says "Cause you were cruel and I'm a fool so Please let me go" which expresses the dynamic between Kiese and his mother. His mother was cruel to him, and growing up,  Kiese always forgave her and never blamed her for her behavior. ]]> 2022-03-06 20:23:20 UTC https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2080235463 phernande0169 https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2080347303 In this section of Kiese Laymon's memoir, Heavy, he begins to unravel his experiences in college. Laymon goes on to explain how being in the classroom, scared him. Being in this environment led him to not want to ask any questions or make any claims that could not be justified because he knew it was too much of a risk. Because of this fear that Kie feels, he is jeopardizing his own learning and it is ultimately limiting his growth. A key widespread theme in this memoir is the complicated relationship that Kie has with his body and the emotions that come attached to that relationship. After he describes the fear he felt in the classroom he goes on to state," I ran to cakes because cakes felt safe, private, and celebratory." The way that Kie is able to cope and get through difficult circumstances is through food because it can distract and essentially remove him from reality. It is his escape from moments of desperation or sadness. A friend of his, Ray Gunn, gives him the harsh truth when he tells him not to eat or drink when he is sad, that rather, he should talk to him or exercise or go to bed. Continuing to live his current lifestyle, would only kill him, which is exactly the goal of white America. He would be doing exactly what they wanted. After Ray leaves Kie goes back to his food and states that he didn't feel depressed, he felt "free" and "fantastic". This greatly displays how Kie is trying to speak and manifest things into existence by trying to convince himself what he wants to feel.  After Kie's mom comes back from her trip, she forces him to get on the scale in front of her. Kie had gained weight. At this moment, Kie expresses the way he feels very clearly: "The only good thing about the weight was you seemed disgusted when I acted like I didn't care." All this time, Kie has tried to convince himself that he was fine with the weight that he felt "fantastic" but this was just done to try to cope with what he was doing to himself. He does realize now the degree of his actions on himself, he just doesn't know how to help himself.

]]> 2022-03-06 23:40:59 UTC https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2080347303 phernande0169 https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2080351957 The second line in the first verse of Crywank are Posers, Clayton says, "Distract myself with what is given" which is a direct parallel to Kiese running to food as a way to cope with his trauma (widespread throughout the book). In order to escape his reality, Kie develops an unhealthy relationship with food because he finds it the only way he can deal with what happens in his life. This renders him unable to see the harm it is doing to himself because he has already formed an attachment. On page 196, Kie is explaining how he was reading the book Cotton Candy on a Rainy Day by Margaret Walker and the sentences that kept coming back to him were: “They will distract you. They will try to kill you. Do not be distracted. Be directed. Write to and for our people.” This connects to the line in the second verse where Clayton says, "And I know acceptance and lack of motivation is what they want." Through Walker’s words, Kie is able to understand that white America will do what they need to do in order to ensure that they will remain on top. They want black people to not progress because in their eyes, when the oppressed gain power, such as being educated, white people will become oppressed as a result. They have convinced themselves that equality is oppression for them. This is related to the line in Clayton’s second verse where he states that “a lack of motivation is what they want.” Here, Clayton refers to “They” as those who do not want him to progress or do better. Those people do not want him to be motivated and do things to advance their lives or standing. Kie is told through Walker's words that he should write to and for his people which shares a connection to the line in Clayton's third verse where he says, ̈Mind, active trapped inside a stationary body." With this new pathway of life that Kie has been introduced to, he has a lot on his mind to say, but with America wanting to put him down, he is almost trapped in his body with all his thoughts. Kie is aware of what he has to do but has a force that wants him to stay stationary.

]]> 2022-03-06 23:47:32 UTC https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2080351957 jmunoz0195 https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2080820546 The song that would resemble not just one scene in general but many through the story would be "Love The Way You Lie" by Rihanna. The first verse when she sings "Well, that's alright, because I like the way it hurts ,Just gonna stand there and hear me cry?Well, that's alright, because I love the way you lie" connects and represents  his relationship with his mom in a way. Through the book it can be seen that his mom beats him when she thinks he is out of line and she proceeds to tell him after its for his own good. Kise in the beginning would forgive his mom and the things she would do and tell him which resonates to that verse. Making it in a forgiving tone. Not only that but another line in the song that can resonate to a scene would be "You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe when you're with 'em?...You swore you've never hit 'em, never do nothing to hurt 'em now you're in each other's face". in a scene on page 98 Kie was crying about a relationship he had with a girl when he found out the girl was considering on hooking up with another, when he told his mom he was crying about something else. His mom started crying and that made Kise happy. He said " That made me smile and tell more lies... making you feel what you you didn't want to feel when you didn't want to feel it was one of the best feelings in my world" It can resonate to that line because in the beginning of the book it was evident Kise was forgiving towards his mom and that he kind of cared for her and in this scene, it shows him taking a turn and enjoying seeing his mom hurt , feeling the things she didn't want to feel. ]]> 2022-03-07 04:07:10 UTC https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2080820546 PrinceNwalozie https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2080955636 Since the last book club, the speaker, Kie, has made much more in-depth analyses of the events that take place around him through his words and actions. An example of this is his observation of black slang as a function of relationships within the African American community, and how Jabari, a transfer student like Kie from Holy Family to St. Richard, being called "gross" worked against the black slang they had learned to love.

One scene in the novel, however, that best highlights Kie's ability to analyze his environment and export this into some material form, exists on pages 45-61, which delineate Kie's stay at his grandmother's house for a few days in the summer. One of Kie's mom's requirements is that he write reports to better develop his literacy, and Kie's grandmother was an avid sponsor of this as well; however, she didn't care as much about the topic Kie argued as opposed to him just doing the paper. However, on a stay with his grandmother, Kie decided that he would write his report, instead, on his life at home in an attempt to "find his words." Kie's description indicate a much more subliminally abusive relationship with his mother than at first glance.

In comparison, the song "July" by Noah Cyrus goes into depth about an assumed abusive relationship and the thought process of the abused. It also describes the fear of change because of the sort of conditioning that stems from long patterns of abuse. The connection this has to Kie from "Heavy" is that much of the thoughts, events, and courses of action are related. Some lines from "July" that share some overlap include "I've been holding my breath, I've been counting to ten" and "I've been holding back tears; while you're throwing back tears, I'm alone in bed". These lines hold incredible parallelism to Kie's life in the novel, and specifically in the aforementioned scene, as some of the snippets mentioned are "be getting beaten," "be choking me," and "be confusing me," all utilizing the habitual "be," an important component of African American Vernacular English (AAVE). Thinking further back, we can also recall that one of the things that Kie and his mother were advised to do by a therapist was count to ten and look at the stars; additionally, Kie's mother can be assumed to have a problem when it comes to drinking due to Kie's past mentions of a collapse. These pieces of information, all expressed in his report, tie back to the lyrics in "July" by Noah Cyrus in a unique and insightful way.]]> 2022-03-07 05:41:32 UTC https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2080955636 aguerrero0100 https://padlet.com/PrinceNwalozie/u0o60jxns7ygzfzg/wish/2081005729 Since the last time our book club met Kie has finally graduated high school.  Although Kie did not attend graduation because the school invited a Republican governor to give the graduation speech he also did not attend because  he felt ashamed for graduating five places from the bottom of his class and knew that if he had only applied himself he would have been at the top of his class. Now in college we see how he constantly turns to food as his coping mechanism. As Kie explains it , "I ran to cakes,, because cakes felt safe, private, and celebratory."(Laymon, 123). In college Kie feels the need to become invisible in his classes to never ask questions, to never be dumb because there was to much to loose. Also in college Kie begins a relationship with Nzola Johnston which turns abusive.

In the end of the chapter Already we learn that Kie is also abused by Nzola. The first time Nzola punched Kie in the face was after he talked about her stepmother. After that time Kie knew that when he would talk about Nzola's stepmother he would get punched, he knew it was coming, and he though he deserved it.
The song Pulling Teeth by GreenDay is about a man in a abusive relationship with the woman. The song describes how this man is all beaten up by the woman and how he continues to stay with her as she takes good care of him.
Pulling Teeth by GreenDay and Kie's relationship with Nzola are very similar as they are both about abusive relationships. In the song the singer says, "I'm all busted up, broken bones and nasty cuts," this is similar to what Kie goes through as he writes, "Nzola cocked her arm back and jabbed me in the left eye"(151).  Both in the son and in the book Kie and the guy in the song is being hurt. By the end of the song the singer says, "She takes good care of me Just keep saying my love is true" implying that the guy is justifying his girlfriends actions because she takes good care of him. In the book Kie writes how he continued to stay with Nzola who didn't stop hitting him. I think Kie also believe that Nzola takes "good care of him" like the guy in the song because of how he was raised. Kies interpretation of love is that it should hurt just like his mom hurt him but also loves him so he thinks that his relationship with Nozola is the best he can get also because of his insecurities.

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