Jonathan.s. Google Sites Peer Feedback 2021 - 2022 by Jonathan Skawinski https://padlet.com/28jskawinski/twcmsdddt36z6nlf Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2021-10-04 15:28:09 UTC 2022-05-02 15:46:51 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f629.png Em Emmmmmmmmmmm https://padlet.com/28jskawinski/twcmsdddt36z6nlf/wish/1797310314 I liked how you opened up with “Welcome everyone to Jonathan’s humble scripts I hope you enjoy all my future work and learning a little about me.” I liked how it told the read what they were about to experience. I also liked how you added the heat scale for the hot peppers and sauces. One thing I noticed is that some of your I’s were  lowercase. :)]]> 2021-10-06 17:30:17 UTC https://padlet.com/28jskawinski/twcmsdddt36z6nlf/wish/1797310314 LucaR https://padlet.com/28jskawinski/twcmsdddt36z6nlf/wish/1799992077 Johnathan, You have wrote a great intro introducing yourself and your hot sauce 🙄. The way you described the heat of your hot sauce by using  the scoulables unit was brilliant and I love sushi as well and it was great that you gave an example of which sushi you liked most and how you couldn’t go without it and you start wrap up the intro in a great conclusion of “Even though I can go on and on about food I won't cause that can be a whole recept sized list.”
One reason your writing is strong is because when you back up your examples with evidence it becomes more interesting for the readers for example you stated in the text, “I adore sushi. One of my favorite rolls is unique to a sushi place by me “ginger sushi” I can't stand a month without eclipse roll it is my favorite thing.” Not many other students I gave feedback on their About me pieces did that as well as you so I applaud you because you made an amazing piece and it was difficult to find any faults in your writing amazing job Jonathan.
The only hole in your mountain of manuscript that I caught was when you told the readers some things you liked and disliked. You lacked description and Elaboration on why. For example you wrote, “my hobbies also include playing hockey, hiking, watching the nyr rangers, and bike riding. I despise the NJ devils.” Maybe an alternative you could have resorted to is telling why you love playing hockey so much or why you like biking and watching the New York Rangers. It would help you down the path of learning and getting better at writing if you backed up your evidence such as, I love playing hockey because… I enjoy biking because… I especially dislike the New Jersey Devils because… If you can back up everything you say with evidence you will become an amazing writer and it seems like you already are one, Amazing Job Jonathan.
]]> 2021-10-07 14:27:43 UTC https://padlet.com/28jskawinski/twcmsdddt36z6nlf/wish/1799992077 About me https://padlet.com/28jskawinski/twcmsdddt36z6nlf/wish/1800410400 I like how you start of by telling the readers what you’re  favorite food is sushi.
I love the halal guys hot sauce and I like how you include how spicy it’s is.
I would suggest removing the ginger sushi but it ok
]]> 2021-10-07 16:35:01 UTC https://padlet.com/28jskawinski/twcmsdddt36z6nlf/wish/1800410400 Sam Juliano https://padlet.com/28jskawinski/twcmsdddt36z6nlf/wish/1800704102 I liked reading about your liking for sushi and extremely hot sauces and foods. You also added a lot of details about what you liked in food. I also thought it was funny hearing about how you can eat any food like bugs but there is no way I would.I would’ve really liked hearing more. About the things that you dislikes but overall it was still a great piece!]]> 2021-10-07 18:37:39 UTC https://padlet.com/28jskawinski/twcmsdddt36z6nlf/wish/1800704102 Memoir joey catallo https://padlet.com/28jskawinski/twcmsdddt36z6nlf/wish/1920665585 A good part of your memoir is the figurative language and inner thoughts and good job really x planning everything so well. Also when you explained the rink it felt like I was in there watching you. I don’t have anything bad for you.


]]> 2021-11-30 15:25:02 UTC https://padlet.com/28jskawinski/twcmsdddt36z6nlf/wish/1920665585 Dylan M 28dmyers https://padlet.com/28jskawinski/twcmsdddt36z6nlf/wish/2082086665 Your essay, The Great Benefits Of Gaming, had a few bumps along the way but was overall really good! Your warrants helped me get the point that you you were going at and the wording in them was very smooth. Also, Your paragraphs were easy to read and didn’t have me read 2 paragraphs for one like others. Although your essay was good, there were some bumps making it a bit harder to make you what you were saying. Like for your first paragraph you started with, “kids have many benefits if they play video games. kids have better social abilities when playing video games” and I couldn’t find the meaning of that starter because it didn’t have a transition word to start or really a lot of help for me to understand what you were saying. But overall, you made an amazing essay!]]> 2022-03-07 16:48:12 UTC https://padlet.com/28jskawinski/twcmsdddt36z6nlf/wish/2082086665 Lil P (paul) https://padlet.com/28jskawinski/twcmsdddt36z6nlf/wish/2162481999 Jonny, this is a good piece. One really good thing about this piece is how you describe the details. You made it simple for and dumb person to understand it but still good enough for it to be good. This makes it possible for every IQ level to read this and like it. Another thing that was very good in the story was how you upper cased the right things. You uppercased the part where it was intense and yelling. This made the emotion more powerful and made it overall more interesting to read. A suggestion I can offer for improvement is to focus more on the grammar. You forget to add uppercase in some spots. You didn’t or use the wrong sign in some places. Also you miss spelled some words which I do a lot.]]> 2022-04-28 12:52:00 UTC https://padlet.com/28jskawinski/twcmsdddt36z6nlf/wish/2162481999 Dylan Myers 28dmyers https://padlet.com/28jskawinski/twcmsdddt36z6nlf/wish/2166975081 Hi Jono! Your story has a very good storyline and the ending is a very good way to make us want to know what’s gonna happen next. Like right now I’m feeling very excited yet scared to read more. If you win it will be a thrill, but if you lose, it's gonna be heartbreaking! I also love how you build the characterization for yourself and your mother. Already showing that you mom is strict about you cleaning your room and the way that it smells. Although I wish you wrote a little bit more about your big game. At Least about the score and how the game has been going so far. If you added those details it could show how close the game is and what made it so close.]]> 2022-05-02 15:46:51 UTC https://padlet.com/28jskawinski/twcmsdddt36z6nlf/wish/2166975081