On another occasion, a doctor did agree to mask, but then wrote a 4 page letter to all of our doctors and consultants trying to shame me as a parent. He described the type of masks we wore and how unnecessary they were, he made lots of assumptions about us, without even asking. He then said that we needed to see a psychologist. He didn't actually help us with the medical issues we had been to see him about, all of which were complex, his only interest was in our face masks. We won't ever return to that hospital again.

On another occasion, when asking a medical practitioner to mask, she asked "WHY" very angrily. She really didn't want too and stormed off to find a mask, she was gone for about 10 minutes and the rest of the appointment was incredibly awkward and frosty. Despite needing to be seen again, we asked her to discharge us, as I didn't fancy having to repeat that encounter.

I now try to avoid having contact with the nhs and arrange for medical appointments to be made privately where I can. I'm currently paying in the region of £500 per hour to see consultants. I only book with them if they are happy to wear an FFP3 mask. It's a breath of fresh air not to feel fearful of abuse and that is worth every penny! I'm sickened and disgusted by the way the nhs has failed the people who needed it the most.

Day 1

I overhear a nurse mocked by a colleague for turning up in a surgical mask. They explain they have covid which they bought back from holiday saying "it was inevitable really!". They have not isolated. Their mask is gaping at the sides and they are pulling it down to drink and wipe their nose. They work on the unit where patients await their surgery. Several of the patients have cancer.

In theatre, the anaesthetist clearly has a runny nose and cough. They work a foot from the unconscious face of a patient with cancer. They do not wear a mask.

The surgeon has a repetitive, dry cough. During open abdominal surgery, the mask never covers their nose. In the break room where they unmask, they sit down next to their colleague who is pregnant.

Day 2

In the outpatients clinic, a nurse has a barking cough which can be heard all along the corridor. They are not wearing a mask. There are several pregnant people in the waiting area. None of them wear masks.

In the outpatients waiting room, there are no masks available. There are no signs to indicate patients should mask if unwell.

A patient is seen in the clinic. They say they can't wait to get home and go to bed because they feel so ill. They are not wearing a mask. The CO2 reading in this room is 1100 - there are 5 people in the room and no windows.

Day 3

I overhear a consultant complaining that the hospital is currently "swimming in flu". In their clinic today most of their patients are immunocompromised. The consultant does not wear a mask and neither do the patients. A junior doctor arrives to observe the clinic who is repeatedly coughing and sniffling. They also do not mask.

A nurse triaging acutely unwell patients is clearly unwell, with a productive cough and runny nose. Several times they step into the corridor to have a coughing fit midway through seeing patients. One of their patients brings her 2 week old baby to the hospital with her, as she had no child care. On their break, the nurse says they took a nap in the staff room as they feel so tired and unwell. They are not wearing a mask. They repeatedly cough into their hands and touch the patient notes and computer before using the hand gel. The CO2 in this area is 1200 and rising.

In a meeting of healthcare workers, two of the 12 people present are coughing repeatedly. One cannot get through a sentence without coughing. Neither wears a mask or even makes any effort to cover their mouths. All the windows and doors are shut and there is no ventilation.

Day 4

On the ward round, the consultant's nose is running.

The nurse's nose is running.

The medical student has a cough.

No one wears a mask.

The oldest patient on this ward is 95 years old.

Day 5

The nurse in the staffroom takes their own temperature as they're feeling ill. It's not high enough for them to justify going home. They carry on working, unmasked. The windows in this staffroom cannot be opened more than 2 inches.

The nurse on the ward has a hacking dry cough. The student nurse on the ward has a barking cough. Three doctors arrive for ward rounds, all three have runny noses, one has a cough. No one is wearing a mask.

At a outpatient clinic for cancer patients actively undergoing therapy, no one is wearing a mask. One consultant clearly has a blocked nose. There are no signs anywhere indicating any staff or patients should be masking. There are no masks visibly available.

I sent this diary to my local MP, who in turn took it to the local hospital trust. The MP returned to me saying two things:

1) that I'm encouraged to confront people when I see they are not mitigating infection.

As someone working right at the bottom of the NHS hierarchy, I'd never dare do this, nor would I be listened to if I did. Plus if I confronted every incidence of poor hygiene and infection control, I'd never have time to do my job!! It frankly isn't my job to police people and be explaining to them that they're harming their patients, that's literally the whole point of the infection control team.

2) that I can whistle-blow about my concerns anonymously. Sounds great in theory, but as one of a handful of staff who continue to mask, I doubt it would be particularly anonymous. Additionally, having raised previous concerns about patient safety with superiors and being told to be "very careful" about continuing to do so, I fear if identified I could lose my job (for totally unrelated reasons though, of course).

Healthcare just isn't safe, but the NHS is bullying anyone speaking out. We need the government to speak out, because those of us with voices at the bottom of the hierarchy are being smothered.

It’s amazing how many healthcare professionals don’t know what a HEPA filter is. Such shocking public health messaging for the past 5 years.

When the radiographer called my name, I explained that I was immunocompromised thanks to Covid and asked if she would kindly wear a mask while handing her an FFP3 still in its wrapper. She happily obliged. If she had declined I would have asked for someone else. I have become quite practised at managing these situations which helps.

The level is the x-ray room itself was even higher, see above, at 2430. No ventilation at all. Very glad to have my mask firmly on.

Supporting Healthcare Heroes UK here's the graph of today's time at the hospital. I arrived just before 14:30, so the low dip then is me walking from the car to the hospital. Then I checked in, got weighed and had my BP taken, then went outdoors just after 14:30 to 14:45 while I waited to see the doc. Saw the doc from 14:45 to 15:10, then went back outdoors from 15:10 to 15:20. Back in to see the nurse to get bloods drawn from 15:20 to 15:45 (registrar joined is halfway through), then left the hospital and walked back to the car. Hopefully that helps make sense of the dips and peaks, but if you've got any questions, please ask :)

We got to the transplant ward and we'd seen one or two people wearing masks, which I thought was encouraging (silly me).

He was taken to a private room and waited an hour or so. Then a nurse came in, unmasked, to do bloods and a Covid test. She explained that he will be moving to the shared ward once his test comes back negative.

I queried her lack of mask and she left the room. I thought she was going to get a mask, but instead she was going to get four other unmasked staff members to argue with me.

They said it's safe, it's hospital policy to test patients but there are no masks any more.

I pointed out that staff or visitors could be infected, we went round in circles for a few minutes, you all know how it goes.

At one point, a nurse said, "we don't test for COVID, because nobody can PROVE they caught it here" 😳😯

So I messaged the hospital CEO, explained the situation, with evidence, told him what the nurse said and pointed out that actually, we are some of the few people who CAN prove it.

I went home while my son had his surgery, and returned later. My son was still in a side room and there was a sign on the door (pictured below).

Many of the staff are ignoring the sign, which is interesting because this is the sign they put up when someone has an infection and is being quarantined. So if my son did have Covid, the entire transplant ward would have been exposed by now